"Other realms? Like what? And are you saying humans aren't from Earth?" Patrick had always felt like he didn't belong or fit in, either in his town or his life in general. From the repressed Bible-thumping mother, late father he could barely remember, or the string of forgettable men who briefly filled his shoes, he had never felt a real sense of connection. He'd always assumed it was normal teenage angst and a shitty draw in the cards of fate. He didn't know whether to feel reassured or not that he was different from them, or whether he might soon regret no longer being a so called 'native human.'
"Actually humans are originally from Earth. But that doesn't mean they all stuck around. Over the millennia humans have migrated throughout most of the easily habitable realms, either by happenstance or design. Earth is somewhat of a nexus of realms, spatially connected to most areas in the Domain of Order, and a more than average amount of areas in the Domain of Chaos. Obviously over time, living in different areas with different experiences have led to humans of different realms sometimes possessing not insignificant differences." Seamus finished off the last of his drink.
"Hooo boy, given the intro spiel sure is thirsty work, understand why I never tried it before. Hardly worth the effort." Seamus flagged down a passing waiter, identified by the apron he was wearing and the trays he was carrying. Patrick thought the alcohol must be stronger than it seemed, because he thought he saw the waiter with four different trays floating around the man, until he realized that each tray was balanced on a different hand, with two more holding a pen and pencil, with which he wrote down Seamus' order before clearing off their dirty tankards. Patrick wasn't sure when he would get over being shocked speechless or questioning his sanity, but he also wasn't sure he wanted to. A radical realignment of his world view and nausea inducing terror notwithstanding, he surely couldn't remember time he was less bored.
"Anyways, back to what I was saying. Besides the differences between the humans now living in the various realms, Earth in particular is unique because the populous is, for the most part, kept isolated from the other races. It has been that way for several millennia, and gets into politics, which I by rule stay away from, so I won't go into detail. But in essence a grand working was cast on the realm to restrict access on the large scale, and on the individual level discretion is required, of course individual interpretation of that varies from using glamours like most Fae, to avoiding or eliminating witnesses. And thus most humans from Earth, and unfortunate foundlings like yourself, finds themselves somewhat unprepared when they awake from their previous reality." Seamus pulled another antique looking gold coin from somewhere within his coat before beginning to play with it, rolling it across the backs of his knuckles. Sometimes the coin would disappear from one finger to the next, only to skip a space, or reappear on his other hand.
Seamus continued to speak while idly playing with the coin, Patrick's attention drifting between his words and the delicate yet seemingly casual motions of the Leprechaun's fingers.
"It has become somewhat of a tradition among the Fae community that those who first meet a foundling to at least clue them in to the major facts, the Cliff Notes version if you will, if these notes could save you from being eaten, cursed, or accidentally stepping through a Zag to a plane of endless fire. Although it may be a relatively isolated realm in the Domain of Order now, Earth is by no means safe, and that is besides all the horrific atrocities its natives manage to inflict upon each other." Just as Seamus finished speaking the multi-limbed waiter walked back past the table, dropping off two more tankards of ale, a basket of bread rolls, and a wooden platter bearing a steaming roll of sausage.
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After emptying his stomach earlier, Patrick still hadn't managed to take more than a few sips of ale, but was relieved the smell of food didn't induce the desire to hurl once more. Seamus threw himself into the food, a worn but well sharpened knife appearing in his hand from somewhere unknown to slice off sections of the sausage link to gnaw on as he alternated with large drinks of ale. At Seamus' encouragement, Patrick finally took a bread roll from the basket.
"You've mentioned the Domain of Order several times, what is that? And what is a Zag? About every other thing out of your mouth seems to be some terrifying new way to die, and yet you still made that one sound particularly dreadful through sheer inflection." Patrick looked down at the roll in his hands in surprise. He hadn't really been planning to eat anything, but after taking a nibble he found the taste quite pleasant. A little sweet with a dense texture, he found himself quickly finishing the whole thing after taking the first bite.
Seamus seemed amused by the look of surprise on Patrick's face. "Lembas bread, made by elves. Not the folk to look to for a properly grilled steak, but they do know how to bake bread. You should also be able to cross off any of the darker variants of Fae from your paternity search, as the lembas bread would have burned in the mouth of any corrupted by the power of Chaos."
Patrick paused in the act of reaching for another piece of bread. "Why would you let me eat something if it could be dangerous?"
Seamus chuckled in response, "Not like it would kill ya. Heard it isn't painful, the bread just gains the taste and consistency of corpse ash. Not pleasant by any means, but not fatal. And I had a pretty good idea it wouldn't apply to you, though you do somewhat remind me of a Blood Cap I once knew."
Patrick grumbled a the reckless disregard for his safety, but made a mental note to also be more alert before eating random food in the future. Seeing the glint of caution now dwelling in Patrick's eye, Seamus nodded in approval.
"Back to your question, the Domain of Order is the collective name for all reams inhabited by the Races of Order, also known as the civilized races, to which the Fae and humans belong. Standing in opposition is the Domain of Chaos, the realms controlled by the Chaos Beings, or what most would generally deem demons and monsters. Together the two domains extend to most of known space, with anything beyond their borders, or laying unclaimed between them generally referred to as the Wyldelands." Seamus continued to take short breaks between talking to chew on chunks of sausage and the occasional Lembas bread, or just to take another sip of ale. Patrick paid attention to his words with a focus he had never managed to muster when facing his mother's endless Bible lessons, or any of his classes at school.
"As for a Zag, it is one of the side effects of the relative loose dimensional fabric that makes Earth a natural nexus of realms. Think of it this way, a zig-zag is a collection of connected lines facing in two different directions. Most of the time, space zigs, and you walk from Point A to Point B. But sometimes certain locations in space Zag, and instead of going from Point A to Point B, the same route will take you from Point A to anywhere from Point H to Point Z. Usually this produces a certain energy signature when the space starts to shift, anyone with decent enough senses can learn to recognize and avoid it, but they can prove deadly to the unaware, which includes most native humans of this realm. Zags are actually the number one reason for unexplained disappearances among the humans of Earth, with number two being the actions of assholes like the Abyssals we ran into earlier, who are one of the major groups among the Domain of Chaos." Seamus made a sour face when mentioning the Abyssals and turned his head to spit on the floor near the table, ignoring the affronted look from the waiter who was standing at a nearby table.
"So the Zags are just uncontrollable portals that could lead somewhere deadly? Are they all that dangerous?" Patrick was starting to move past the initial fear that had been besieging him, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of possibility that confronted him. He once had feared he was being smothered, choked to death by boredom in a tiny unremarkable town. Not even a day had gone by, but it almost felt like he had started a brand new life, filled with large amounts of terror and uncertainty, yes. But even when the thought of potential horrendous death filled his head, it couldn't crush that ember of excitement that had lit in his chest.