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Swords and Roses
1-4: This Is Totally A Hotel

1-4: This Is Totally A Hotel

Normally, when you take a family vacation, you go somewhere relaxing and fun. Maybe there's a pool or an arcade. You don't normally go to a six acre Compound with a ten foot wall and armed guards with it's own road for access.

Instead of taking the CA-10 all the way to Palm Springs, we turned off at the CA-243 and took it into the San Jacinto Mountains. I wouldn't have had any idea what the mountains were named, but Pops was very particular about naming all the geographical features we passed — after his history lesson, that is. Most of it just sort of went over my head because I was still reeling after the conversation.

I had to hand it to whoever chose the spot, it was kind of perfect. It wasn't too far from a city, with Palm Springs under an hour away and Los Angeles only two and a half, but you wouldn't have to worry about the prying eyes of any non-sword-wielding-randos getting up in your business. Basically, it was just the right amount of breathing room. We took a turn off and drove a few miles down an unmarked road. As we neared the end, I narrowed my eyes at the sign outside the large gate that marked the entrance to what was beyond the wall. It was dark, save the lights lining the road, but I thought it said, "Kahana Family Grape and Melons." I guess they took this fake business seriously. The guards motioned to stop us but waved us through as soon as they saw Pops and Kaz's faces. "I'm kinda a celebrity around here. They love me!" Kaz proclaimed, which earned him a scoff from Pops.

"As if! They only know you so well because we had them on permanent watch for you trying to escape every other day!" Pops retorted, "If anyone is a celebrity, it's me of course. And it's purely because of my incredibly good looks." When he isn't cane wacking, Pops can have sense of humor. I rolled my eyes at the boys' silliness but it was half hearted. Even though I didn't want to burden him with my stress, Kaz could tell I wasn't in a joking mood and his face darkened too.

We pulled through to a large, circular courtyard with a fountain in the middle. It was a man holding a sword with water coming out the tip. This may be a watermelon-themed front, but the Kahana's certainly didn't let that stop them from decorating the inside otherwise. We finally disembarked from the car and handed it over to valet. My legs didn't agree with me deciding to walk after keeping them in the same position for so long. I could vaguely feel my arm being sore from holding that brick, too. My body was slowly deflating as soon as I told it I need to walk somewhere. You can't rest yet, body! I told my body. It didn't listen. It's 2am and you just had a life-threatening experience! What do you mean I can't rest? No way am I giving any more energy until you let me sleep! it seemed to say back. Kaz was walking with the slight shuffle and droopy shoulders that either means he's pouty about something or really tired. I guess that makes two of us. We both grabbed our backpacks and waited for Pops to direct us. I'm sure Kaz knew where to go, but he didn't seem to be in the mood for giving any tours.

I was a walking zombie for the rest of the night. I barely even looked up from my feet, so I missed the grandeur of the place. We didn't go through the courtyard and instead headed through the reception area Pops mentioned is where the guests go through. The marble flooring, cool air conditioning, and cucumber water that a lady offered me made this place remind me of a grand hotel.

"Oh hello Kaz! You're back!" a receptionist lady tried saying to Kaz. He gave a vague wave in recognition and returned to his moping. Pops directed us to some seats to wait in while he talked to the woman. After we sat down my eyelids started to close themselves, like a curtain trying to close on a play that isn't supposed to be over yet. The only thing preventing me from falling asleep was the cold against my arms and murmur of Pops and the receptionist. Pops would wake us up when it was time to go, right? With that thought, I let my head slide toward Kaz's shoulder and the steady rhythm of his breath.

I couldn't have been out for more than a few minutes when Kaz shook my shoulder. I let him and Pops lead me up the elevator, which played a jazzy version of some pop song I vaguely recognized. It doesn't matter if you're a New York corporation or a family sword user front, no one can have good elevator music.

"I told Devon to get new music!" Kaz groaned which earned him an eyeroll from Pops, "I said, if you're gonna play dumb jazz versions of songs, at least make them good to begin with! I would so prefer bad jazz Green Day than whatever version of 'California Girls' this is..." I managed a weak laugh before sinking back against him and the elevator wall. Our rooms were on the top floor of the living spaces for full-time residents behind the guest reception, the floor reserved for Kaz, his family, and any important guests, such as important members of other families. This really is like a hotel, I thought again, and I guess we get the top floor. Is this what being rich feels like? We clunked through the hallway to our rooms. Some had a name engraved on the door, while others just had a number. They were able to get me the room next to Kaz's; he already had his assigned room because it was the one he normally used while he was here.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Pops had already bid us goodnight because his room was on the other side of the elevator, so now it was just Kaz and I standing in front of our doors. I stared blankly at his, which had "Kaz Kahana" engraved on it in a swirly font. Mine was significantly less impressive looking, with only numbers tacked on the front. 221. Why did that ring a bell?

"Wait, 221?" Kaz asked, "Isn't that, like, the number of Sherlock Holmes's door or something? Am I going to have to call you Sherlock now?" Oh, that's it, I realized with a smile.

"Why yes Doctor Watson, you most certainly must," I answered with a mock British accent, which got a weak chuckle from Kaz. Even if the world was ending, Kaz and I will always make jokes. We both took that as our cue to finally hit the sack, and Kaz gave a weak, "G'night Mads," before going in his door.

The room was... a large hotel suite, and a nice one too. Go figure. They really just wanted to sell this hotel idea.

"Are they doing this on purpose?" I wondered aloud. Directly in front of me was a main room with a couch to the left facing a huge flatscreen TV with mini fridge to the right. There was a window in the middle, and two doors, one on the right and left. I discovered the left door to be a big bathroom. The door to the right was, at last, a bedroom. I didn't give the room so much as a second glance before I face-planted into the soft pillows. My last thought before I fell asleep was, It even smells like a hotel?

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I wasn't surprised when Kaz was the one to wake me up. I was, however, surprised he did so by bursting in yelling, "First rule of sword fighting! Always be prepared for an attack!" before promptly swinging a wooden sword dangerously close to my face then just standing there, giggling with that goofy grin. What a perfect start to my morning. I groaned and rolled back over into the sheets. I was surprisingly well-rested, but I wasn't entirely sure if I was ready to face whatever lies beyond the walls of my room. However, Kaz was already grabbing me by the ankles and literally dragging me out of bed.

"Alright, alright! You win. Now leave so I can get dressed," I sighed. Ten minutes later, we were strolling down the halls of the Kahana family floor and into the elevator. Kaz explained that Pops had come to his room to tell him to meet him in the cafeteria. They have a whole cafeteria here? How many people are they trying to feed?

"Look, Kaz. I'm going to need some more explanation here," I spoke as we entered the elevator, "How many people work here? That history lesson was great, but I'm still not clear exactly what's going on. This is such a whirlwind; it seems like we've just picked up and moved to Palm Springs!" His shoulders slumped and he let out a long sigh.

"Yeah... I'm really sorry this is all so crazy. Even I feel out of place, and this is literally my family homestead, or whatever. Luckily, Pops mentioned a Family Meeting so we'll probably get lots of answers. And hey, you'll get to meet my step-dad after all these years. I can't wait..." He said the last words thick with sarcasm, which didn't make me look forward to meeting Devon Baxter, Kaz's stepfather. For years, Kaz dodged every opportunity to talk about him and his descriptions consisted almost entirely of eye rolls. We made it to the cafeteria.

"Well," Kaz announced, "Welcome to the Kahana Compound Cafeteria, also known as the KCC... an acronym I totally didn't make up right now." I gave him a small smile as I took in the sights of the KCC. It was about the size of a typical school gym, but with huge floor-to-ceiling windows on three sides. The long side had a view of a giant field bigger than two football fields covered in grass. The window was supported by three thin arches, and one on each of the smaller sides to the right and left. The center was occupied by a closed area that served as the food buffet. Incredible smells and steam wafted from within as people made their way around and filled their plates. The place wasn't full, but the floor plan certainly wasn't made too large. Groups of people sat eating, drinking, and talking just as you might expect.

We strolled to the start of the line for the food and did the only thing you could in a cafeteria that smelled this amazing: stuff your plate. Kaz suggested I try the omelet bar. I got one with ham, bacon, spinach, and onions. After we finished making our plates, we found Pops and sat down.

"These omelets are amazing!" I said with my mouth full.

"I know right. It's the only thing I missed about this place!" Kaz responded, his mouth full as well.

"Manners, children. I don't want people to think we're barbarians," chastised Pops.

"Oh, give it a rest, Pops. Shouldn't we celebrate my return to the Family homestead?" Kaz asked, still refusing to stop stuffing his face. I laughed and Pops simply rolled his eyes.

"Well, when you are done putting on this terrible display of manners, we will go to the Administrative Offices to attend the Family Meeting," Pops finished. Kaz made a face at that but continued annihilating his omelet.

"I think I could eat one of these every single day," I announced.