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Sworded Affair
Chapter 180: House, M.D.

Chapter 180: House, M.D.

Chapter 180: House, M.D.

To Emma’s annoyance, she immediately hit a hurdle the moment she opened Internet Explorer: the computer wasn’t connected to the internet, nor were there any networks available to join.

[The planet blew up, I’d be more surprised if there was a connection.]

Emma didn’t disagree, but it certainly put a damper on things. Without access to that limitless font of information, she was forced to start digging for clues in Magus Austere’s personal files. The one saving grace of the situation was that the Magus clearly didn’t use the computer much. His desktop was almost clear, barring three folders, helpfully labelled ‘Research’, ‘Personal’ and ‘Apocrypha’. Naturally, Emma started off with ‘Research’.

“Oh come on!” She exclaimed, upon opening the folder and finding row after row after row of web links, each of them undoubtedly informative, but all of them useless without a connection. Clearly, Magus Austere was not a believer in local storage, instead preferring to leave it all up to the cloud.

[When you only have five gigabytes of space on the hard drive, it’s best to outsource these things.]

“Why is a space station running computers on Windows XP?” Emma retorted, fighting the urge to put her fist through the monitor.

[He’s a strange man, I don’t deny that. A visionary in some respects and a luddite in others.]

A bit annoyed now, Emma decided to try her luck in ‘Apocrypha’ next, which turned out to be the biblical definition of the word. Quite literally, as there were only two files present, a digital copy of Complete Books of the Apocrypha: The Lost Biblical Texts, and a large word document, containing many pages of speculation on the canonicity of each work, going almost line by line through the book.

[Did I mention that he also has a PhD in Theology, at the Church of England?]

“No, you didn’t.”

Left with no other choice, Emma dared to venture into the ‘Personal’ folder. She did so with her file explorer still set to thumbnail view. This was a mistake, because she quickly discovered exactly where most of those five gigabytes of storage went: hundreds of remarkably detailed photographs of what appeared to be dissections of various small animals.

“Ew.”

Switching to list view, Emma skipped the images entirely, heading to the much smaller section of word documents. There, amidst dozens of experiment logs, organised by clade, she finally found something useful.

[A Practical Guide to Entropy stored.]

The moment Emma laid eyes on the title, a book added itself to Eden’s Echo. That was rather bizarre, given that it previously existed in .doc format, as well as the fact that everything she’d encountered thus far had been resistant to spatial magic. Of course, odd as that was, it proved far less concerning than what was happening to her surroundings. The computer went first, power cutting off with a loud crack and the acrid stench of battery acid. The rest of the room was quick to follow, paint peeling away by the layer, the glass hydroponic tanks shattering in unison, and within seconds, even the metal floor was beginning to erode. That was concerning, but still not too dangerous, not when Emma could survive out in space just fine. No, the real problem only made itself apparent in her System log.

[WARNING: This Dungeon is unstable, and will collapse if unbeaten in 8 hours, 02 minutes.

WARNING: This Dungeon is unstable, and will collapse if unbeaten in 7 hours, 52 minutes.

WARNING: This Dungeon is unstable, and will collapse if unbeaten in 7 hours, 42 minutes.

WARNING: This Dungeon is unstable, and will collapse if unbeaten in 7 hours, 32 minutes…]

Emma ran, transitioning into a leap to mount her flying sword. No longer needing to worry about searching carefully, she made good time out of the lab, reaching the living area whilst there was still some semblance of structure, rocketing out back into the space station moments before the gateway crumbled behind her.

“Did we just make it?” Emma asked, glancing back where a door used to stand. “Or was it always going to disappear after we made it through?”

[You don’t want to know.]

“The former, then,” Emma deadpanned.

[WARNING: This Dungeon is unstable, and will collapse if unbeaten in 5 hours, 42 minutes…]

A glance at the timer revealed that the rapid drain had stopped, and she hadn’t lost too much, all told, though the clock was still drifting into the uncomfortable zone. Still, there was nothing to do except continue, so that’s exactly what she did. Sticking with Epitaph, she flew back to the initial intersection, finding it exactly as she’d left it. The corridor ahead, on the other hand, was frozen solid, every empty space filled to the brim with black ice.

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

[Soulfrost: the opposite of your father’s Balefire, in many respects. Don’t touch it, that room is already as good as gone.]

Emma didn’t touch it, though she did let Antipode out for a quick test. The elemental had no trouble appearing, though when its fireballs hit the wall of black ice, they disappeared and did not return.

“Never mind then,” Emma was quick to conclude, turning to the sole corridor that remained open to her. “Ideological training, how lovely. Hopefully there isn’t a quiz at the end.”

Her course set, it was a short hop, skip and a jump through the final door, onward to the great unknown.

[Movement up ahead.]

Astrid Rosen, a.k.a Princess Astaroth’s head rose, taking in the shattered frame of a high rise building in the distance. Lights flickered near the top floors, despite the psychometry of the area indicating a total lack of power, the electric lines having been an early casualty to the apocalypse. Whispering a soft invocation to Theia under her breath, her sight zoomed in to examine the discrepancy in full.

“Eleven men? No, twelve, carrying tasers, electrified nets and dart guns. Tools for live capture.”

[Kidnappers, then. Well, we can’t let that stand, can we?]

Status Update

SYSTEM

Practitioner Emma Knight

True Form: Level 16 Damned Apostle

* Anima: 500

* EXP: 11682/12000

Abilities

* Summon Unholy Sword {Epitaph}

* Toxovolia: Epitaph can transform into a Bow, firing arrows of ambient anima.

* No Pal of Mine: Capture the souls of the worthy, gaining a simulacrum of equal level to the User. Maximum 1 active per 10 levels, rounding up. 10 minute cooldown when defeated. Captured:

* The Leech King, Sir Bearington, Earthbound Immortal, Antipode, Duplicate

* Flying Sword: Epitaph can change size, and fly up to 60 miles per hour.

* Oversoul: Instantly possess the body of a living target.

* Parallel Lives (Cooldown: 1 minute): Swap places with your active Summon.

* Angel of Extinction (Cooldown: 12 hours): Summon an Angel within line of sight. The Angel is invulnerable and departs after 12 seconds, killing anyone who saw it.

* Return (Cooldown: 24 Hours): Teleport Home. Cooldown resets when Home is in danger.

Traits

* Wolf, Ram and Heart (Toggle: ON): Attacks are imbued with Death magic, significantly increasing damage and carrying a [Level]% chance of inflicting Instant Death.

* Ephemera (Toggle: OFF): Become intangible.

* Null Zone (Toggle: OFF): All incoming magic fails.

* One with Everything (Cooldown: 10 minutes): If Anima would be reduced to 0, stop at 1.

* Babble Fish+: You are fluent in every language.

* Rorschach's Blot: Attempts to observe you remotely produce nonsensical images to those bearing ill-intent. You will be alerted when observation commences.

* Home Is Where the Hearth Is - EXP gains doubled for 1 hour after eating a home-cooked meal.

Inventory - Eden's Echo A ring containing fifty cubic metres of storage space, capable of instant transfer. Living beings are held in stasis and slowly heal. All sapient creatures are less likely to attack the wearer. This item is invisible except to the wearer, who cannot wear other jewellery. Currently contains:

* 50 Thrones

* Victorian Gown (3-piece)

* Your Sacrifice (1 oz)

* Self-Reflection (3 Pages)

* Sacrificial Blood (1 gallon)

* Qilin Horn

* Magus Austere’s Oxygen Mask

* A Practical Guide to Entropy

Quests

It’s the Green You Need

* Objective: Raise the Potted Hydra until it blooms.

* Objective: Convince the Hydra to give Saint a vial of its blood.

* Bonus Objective: Form a summoning contract with the Hydra

* Reward: A powerful ally from the Age of Myth, Saint’s Divine Item

* Bonus Reward: ???

Vae Victis

* Objective: Deactivate the gateway beneath Blenheim Palace before it explodes.

* Rewards: 25,000 Thrones, Commendation (Order of the Empire, First Class), Season Ticket (The Ghost Train), Residence Permit (Avalon)

* Penalty for Failure: Death

Who Wants To Live Forever?

* Objective: Pay your respects at the Grave of Sectmaster Horizon.

* Objective: Discover who manipulated his Son to turn against the Empire.

* Bonus Objective: ???

* Reward: ???

* Bonus Reward: ???

Half-Demon Homunculus: Level 5 Chandler Stored in Eden’s Echo when not in use.

* HP: 100

* MP: 100

* EXP: 810/850

Appearance

* Red hair, green eyes, plain complexion.

Clothes

* Space Suit

Traits

* I’m a Candle: A modern understanding of non-magical candles.

* Noncombustible: High resistance to heat and fire from all sources.

* Blood of the Enemy: Blood taken from those you slay may substitute for one reagent when making Candles. Candles made using this trait are Demonic.

* Breath Control: You can hold your breath for (Level)*2 minutes without losing focus.

Candle Attributes

* Black: Consumes nearby light, leaving impenetrable darkness.

* Hallowed: Repels beings of evil alignment or intent.

* Soothing: Emits a potent soporific that can put an elephant to sleep.