I was pulled through the air slowly like a kite on a string, grimacing as life was thrust upon me. Who am I kidding? I was stoked about how everything had turned out so far. Well, mostly. I was irritated about having to leave the bag on the nightstand beside the bed more so than the book, to be honest. That was tattooed on my hand, so I was sure there would be some way to get it back but the bag.. I could only hope the one I had in my pocket wasn’t sensemilla.

Lo and behold as I got to the door but just before I would have passed over its threshold, the still-glowing book broke into thousands of motes of light to fly through the air and gather back in the outline, shimmering a silvery color instead of the gold it originally was. The baggie did not break up into its own little streak of green. I had no more time for thought however, and passed through the door.

Where before there had been nothing, just a black entry to whatever lay beyond the walls of that room, there was sensation. It reminded me of what I felt interacting with my different Focus options, I felt vacuum sealed, but while I somehow felt the resonant energy surrounding me it did not give off any feeling or noise. Maybe that was just a special case, being my own soul? The door closed behind me, becoming nothing more than another part of the endless void. I hate this shit, I thought a shiver. I swore to myself then and there I would avoid anything where I couldn’t see the light of day if I had any choice about it. I didn’t have any choice, not then, and not after.

I started singing to myself while I waited, nothing changing around me but the shifting pressure I felt from whatever energy coated my body. I looked down though with my eyes only. The energy held me in position so I couldn’t actually move my head, but even the little I could see both surprised me and didn’t at the same time and the song I was mumbling trailed off in my mind. My nose and my lips and cheeks were not there. I didn’t have a source of light at the time, but Istill felt as if they didn’t exist anymore. That makes sense, I guess. I did actually die last time, and Nott said this is all mental. Maybe I just have to will something to happen.

Thinking, for one of the rare times in my existence, got me nowhere. Nothing at all seemed to change other than a developing headache, which despite not having a real body still affected me. I gave up after what felt like just a few minutes, despite the headache not getting worse. Not like I can do anything about it. Hmm hmm hmm.. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. I started humming the tune of the saddest folk song ever and went on, switching up with a few jingles now and then. Another few subjective hours passed and something finally happened.

No more divine beings, thankfully, but it still wasn’t pleasant. Whatever metaphysical line I was attached too jerked taut, and I started to zoom forward. I could have been moving just as slow as I did from the room since I had no frame of reference, but it felt faster, more urgent. My ‘body’ stayed rigid but the energy hugging my consciousness started peeling away from behind me until I was sure I would look like a comet flying through their own void.

More time passed indeterminately, but it felt like days, at least. It’s hard to be certain even now, given I couldn’t sleep at the time. I never once lost consciousness, though If I didn’t dream how would I catch the gaps? So much of sleep is physical, and so much of me wasn’t.

Going over that first pamphlet in my head for the thousandth and 1st time, I knew that what I had gone through was special. It said most people pass their First Oscillation at conception, and right now I must be waiting to be reborn? Nott said to hurry up or I’d be reborn a baby.. I shouldn't've slept. I might’ve even got to check out the other tabs too. Wish I had something to do. Jeez. Waiting to exist is more boring than watching paint dry. Come to think of it, How They Make It had a segment on paint that was really good. Then again so was the bud I had bought that day. That guy at the shop had ridiculous dreads.

I rambled on indefinitely, doing what I do best and talking to myself to while away the time. People always told me I needed more friends, but I’ve always been one of my best. Even if I’m a dick myself sometimes. Besides, Talking to yourself from a young age is a sign of genius, some say.

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Some people say that, I’m sure. Whatever, you can’t prove me wrong. Ugh. Just thinking about that trip makes me bored. It ended soon, thankfully. Well, it was soon when it happened but it could have been an eon subjectively. Thinking back it feels like both and neither, even now. On the plus side I found out that though I had never tried and didn’t have a script, I could recite every Gary Sanchez movie word for word.

The tugged increased its pull, drawing me closer to a fresh and shiny mortal coil. Heel, Cinnamon! I chuckled at my own cleverness, if only to keep from falling into a panic attack. Like I’ve said, I was excited as all get out to start over. It had been my wish for years on Earth. Still, it terrified me with the same age old human enemy: fear of the unknown.

Sparks started appearing like static electricity as the momentum of my travel ramped up considerably. I was sure if I had a flesh and blood body traveling through air I would have already died. But what’s one more time, right?

By the time the sparks had enveloped me in a shimmering comet of power, a la Midnight Gospel, I was starting to feel sleepy. Come on! That entire time I couldn’t catch a winker and now.. No! Not gonna happen. Wides wide open, baby. I ain’t nobody’s sex slave! My eyes almost clamped shut the moment I had the thought. I felt tired to the bone, like running a marathon at my level of fitness without not passing out. There’d definitely be some mom’s spaghetti on my sweater, though.

I watched with bated breath from under my heavily lidded eyes, hoping to get some glimpse of my destination. Arrival felt imminent; charged energy curling through the void and clinging to me like a cape of the gods. In a way, it was, depending on who you ask, I guess.

All I had managed to see was a rounded wall of shifting white blue particles covering my vision like static on an old crt, but I kept. My patience was rewarded as just at the moment I was going to give up and take the sandman’s proffered hand, a break in the light appeared directly in front of my face.

My perspective put what looked like a dimly lit cave still far away, despite being able to take in all the details of every rock, nook and cranny there was to see. There also wasn’t much. Just a few loose stones, a water mark and trickle of liquid down one wall, and a soft glow coming from what I was hoping would be a nearby entrance and not the light of a goblin family who haven’t had their soylent fix lately.

My tiredness did not go away, even with just a few football fields between us. The globular gate looked gigantic and maybe that’s why I had been able to see the detail of what it held from so far away, but otherwise seemed like a straight rip off of Interstellar's wormhole with a stone backdrop.

While I still felt dead to the world -Hehe- my senses were returning the closer I was to my destination. Pins and needles like never before crept along my entire ‘body’,my heartbeat instantly pounding flight-of-the-bumblebees-fast and bringing with it a massive migraine. The Nausea that I had only imagined before was in full swing, and I wondered what would happen if I ‘threw up’ right now. Bad idea. I’ll probably be thrown off course and miss the goal. I am NOT going back to that dentist's office of a waiting room.

I no longer felt a disconnect between experiencing things and not having my full sensory package. It wasn’t relief that replaced the loss though, but all the stuff I had been lacking. I wasn’t even happy it was over as it was taking everything in me not to gastro-rocket myself away. The pins and needles became pain, the nausea surpassed the two times I had had E. Coli poisoning - both from the same restaurant, but don’t judge me - while my eyes were now caked shut.

I felt as much as heard a Pop! and all the overload went away. And for the first time in a long time I drew in a gasping breath, thankful to be counted among the living. Adrenaline pumped through me in a flash, the buildup of all my experiences so far catching up with me. The hulk like energy it brought with it made me want to start kicking ass and taking names in a way I only felt when going 20+ in deathmatch.

I didn’t think about my next actions at all and sat up faster than Uma Thurman, paying dearly for it. Maybe less than dearly. I’m not sure how much a goose egg the size of a grapefruit is going for. I flew forward from the lying position I found myself in, taking effort to open my eyes despite their gunk so I could get a lay of the land. I did get the lay of the land, but instead of knowledge to keep me safe and broaden my horizons it was a rock inches away from my forehead telling me to lay down. Which I did almost as quickly as I came to my feet just before.

My lights went out once again, but luck was on my side and nothing terrible and fearful in the night came knocking on my door. I slept through my first day in a new world like I was still on my chair back at home with Hulu on a loop.