When Fizz woke up, he was a bit confused about being in his bed. Shrugging it off with a ‘I probably fell asleep in bed,’ he got up to start the day. Despite how much he’d been doing everything except running his bakery, business was doing alright. He kept the doors unlocked unless he was home or it was night, and the town’s honor was good enough. All that Fizz had to do was keep the sign that said anyone could grab anything as long as they paid.
Sure, he knew he’d probably have to remove that the instant John let the dungeon open to adventurers again, but that was alright. Fizz didn’t mind the impromptu vacation, not like he really ‘worked’ much anyways. In Fizz’s mind, as long as people were happy near him, he was doing good.
Leaving his house after quickly freshening himself up, Fizz noticed John approaching. That either meant that John was depressed or happy; Fizz could never really tell, but he’d always be there for John anyways. Fizz smiled as he waved the other man over.
“Heyo, John! What’cha doin’ up and about so early? Usually you’re cooped up in your office for a while after I wake up.”
John smiled - Must be a good morning today! - and answered Fizz’s question.
“Well, I just needed to ask you something. Do you want to name the dungeon? It needs a name, and you know how bad I am at important titles like that. I might end up naming it ‘dungeon-filled-with-baked-goods”
Fizz grinned.
“A’course, I’d love to! Hey, we should name the dungeon in the dungeon, so that the dungeon knows what we call the dungeon.”
John paused to chew on that long, confusing sentence, but he was pretty sure he got the gist of it. Following Fizz as he walked towards the dungeon, John played it safe in his response. As long as it got done, then John was alright with it. Plus, spending more time with Fizz was just a pleasant bonus anyways.
“Good idea.”
The two went into the dungeon and John looked around if he missed anything last time. He knew he wasn’t looking as closely as he should’ve, but he was pretty tired when he checked. Noticing 5 small statues on a sort of ‘shelf’ to the left of the entrance, John took a short moment to stare.
Since he knew all the deaths in the dungeon, it didn’t take long for John to recognize the statues. 5 poor souls who weren’t quite fit for adventuring; It’s often said that an insect dungeon was the easiest, if someone got past their dislike of bugs. Deciding that this was yet another thing to add to the report, he followed Fizz before he left him behind.
“I’ll assume you wanted to name the dungeon in the core room?”
John idly asked, continuing to follow along. Fizz seemed to know the path to the core just like John did, both of them knowing for their own different reasons. Fizz responded after a moment.
“Yep! That way it can use its’ neat little bugs to tell us yes or no. I think the thing bein’ named should name itself, but it can’t really tell us-”
John stared at Fizz, cutting him off by accident.
“It uses its’ bugs to communicate with you? I guess that’s just another thing I need to add to the report. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wrote your name in icing or something. Dungeons are observant, sure, but not like this. They’re supposed to be more observant to ‘what hurts people’ instead of ‘what makes people like them.’”
Fizz shrugged, opening the door to the core room. Since John was behind him, he didn’t see it at first. Fizz did, though. It was a mess of a cake, the icing was sloppily made and seemed to be attached to the cake without even an attempt at smoothing it out, and the cake was slightly burnt. But Fizz smiled regardless, just because of one thing.
“You were right on that prediction, John. It wrote ma’ name in icin’- Er, tried to.”
Fizz got out of the way, knowing John would need to add that to the growing report. At this rate, the ‘booklet’ will just be a book. John stared at the poorly made cake.
“I know for a fact you’re too much of a perfectionist to make this…”
He trailed off for a moment, chewing on the facts, before continuing.
“...Do you think the tavern restocked their good beer yet?”
Fizz snickered.
“Aw, c’mon! I thought it was sweet!”
John tried not to smile at the terrible pun. Fizz proceeded with a grin.
“Besides, if it can write in icing, then it really can name itself. Let’s see how far we can get with this, eh?”
John shrugged, and that was all the confirmation Fizz needed. He put his cookbook on the table, scratching his head on how he would communicate to the dungeon that they were trying to name it. He decided to start flipping through pages and naming the sweets, hoping the complex idea would communicate somewhat well.
Lemrio had absolutely no clue what Fizz was talking about. He got the gist that he was saying the names of the muffins, but it didn’t quite click. Lemrio just wanted Fizz to eat the cake he made for him. Was it not good enough, or was it because the gift giver was here? Maybe he spelled it wrong? No, no, Lemrio checked. He was pretty sure that Fizz’s name was spelled F-I-Z-Z, so where did he go wrong?
Confused, Lemrio tried to understand. Fizz seemed to be listing off name after name, treat after treat, while facing Lemrio’s core. Did Fizz want Lemrio to pick one of them? He could do that! Sending out a muffin spider, Lemrio stopped FIzz when he reached the ‘Lemon Meringue' page. It may not have been the spiders, roaches, or rats’ favorite treat, but Lemrio loved every part of it… For some reason.
Something about the color made him happy, he wasn’t all that sure. Either way, he picked his favorite and now he just had to hope it would make them happy, too. He didn’t want Fizz to be sad if he picked wrong.
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“Lemon Meringue. How’s that for a name, John?”
Fizz asked with a grin, seeing how the muffin spider had settled on that page specifically. John facepalmed.
“Are you sure the dungeon understands what we’re asking of it? Listing off baked goods wouldn’t make much sense to me, personally. Maybe that’s just its’ favorite snack or something… Not that dungeons can taste. But I guess that if they could, why not? Why wouldn’t a dungeon have a favorite food?”
Fizz just shrugged while John tiredly wrote down another note on his paper. Fizz glanced over and noticed it had started to run out of space; He couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity. John muttered to himself.
“...And the dungeon only has 2 floors as of now, who knows how much more insane it’ll get… At this rate, we’ll need a sign that says ‘Forget everything you knew about normal dungeons, this is different’...”
John looked at Fizz with a tired smile.
“You know what? Alright. Let’s name it Lemon Meringue then, I could have certainly done it worse.”
When John looked at Fizz, he was holding a plate of slightly burnt cake in his hand; Seems like he decided to eat the mess the dungeon tried to make regardless of the risk. Fizz grinned at the core.
“Awesome! Ya’ hear that, Lemon Meringue? That’s gonna be your name! It’s a bit long, though… Say, how about, ah, Lemrio? That’s a nice name, eh?”
Fizz noticed some of the spiders hopping around with no clear goal.
“See? He likes it! His lil’ pastry things are dancin’!”
John raised an eyebrow. Sure, give the dungeon a gender, why not. Let the spider muffins dance, and give the dungeon a nickname.
Deciding that he might as well let Fizz handle the… ‘relationship’ with the dungeon, John smiled. This seemed like chaos, but he knew that in time it would be normal too. Besides, he liked seeing Fizz happy. Now all that’s left is to tell the 3 people the association sent about the new name… Well, whenever he felt like it.
For now? For now, John decided that he would just spend some more time with Fizz. They had a few weeks until the month ended, and the Dungeon Association was pretty lenient when it came to how much time it took before a report was truly required. ‘Do it right or do it fast; Can’t have both.’ The policy was simple, and although it had room for interpretation, everyone took it as it was supposed to be taken.
John liked that about the Dungeon Association. Unlike the guilds - half of them were rotten and most of them had some kind of secret - the Dungeon Association was as transparent as a glass pane. Sure, they kept a few things ‘secret,’ but they didn’t stop anyone from finding them. It was just a matter of how. On that train of thought, John glanced over at Fizz.
While John had been writing details down and musing about the Dungeon Association, Fizz was baking a lemon meringue pie for the newly dubbed ‘Lemon.’ John asked, knowing that Fizz would be just fine multitasking.
“Say, would you like to know about how the Dungeon Association works?”
Fizz responded happily; It was an easy question for him.
“Yeah! I’ve always wanted ta’ know a bit more, but you seemed busy most of the time. I never wanted to bother ya’ when you had a dozen adventurers on your case. From what I know, an’ correct me if I’m wrong, the Dungeon Association works to monitor and supervise dungeons n’ make sure they aren’t doin’ anything odd.”
Fizz paused for a moment to look at John. He nodded, confirming the bare minimum. John continued.
“The job process is easy; You just tell them the skills you have, read a few pamphlets on what jobs are available, and pick what works. Education plays a part, but it doesn’t matter much to them; They accept practically anyone with the right drive and an honest tone. Hiding things just isn’t how it works. That’s why there’s that bookshelf in my office filled with reports on each year.”
John looked up to make sure Fizz understood. He gave a thumbs up, but was busy juicing and cutting a few lemons. John raised an eyebrow at how he somehow already had a pie crust; He hardly noticed that Lemrio even had a pie dough ready at a moment’s notice. Deciding that Fizz was just that good of a baker, John continued.
“It’s also pretty open, but that’s what the association is well known for in the first place. Want a fully honest job? The Dungeon Association’s so clear that you can see from their very best to their very worst without roadblocks. The association believes in sharing knowledge, and withholding isn’t their style. Granted, some of the more unsavory dungeons are behind a small warning sign, but even that is an optional warning.”
Fizz nodded. He got the gist, although he wasn’t paying too much attention. Deciding that he was feeling curious, John asked Fizz.
“Since I’m done talking your ears off when it comes to my job, what about your baking? I’m pretty sure you made that cookbook, based on how part of it looks like an insane journal. I swear, one page is an actual recipe and the next is ‘three parts this, five parts that, make up the rest with leftovers and mix until goop.’ That’s your favorite icing recipe, last time I checked.”
Fizz laughed at that.
“Yeah, I won’t deny that!” He continued working, separating 5 egg yolks from the whites with his hands. “Right now I’m makin’ a meringue pie, and these eggs are gonna come in later. Not right this moment, though. Say, could you get that jar of sugar, granulated; that jar of cornstarch, make sure it’s white; and that small-ish pot over ‘ere?”
John put the requested items on the counter near Fizz, knowing that Fizz had a more hands-on approach to teaching. Paying some attention but mostly enjoying hanging out with his friend, John watched curiously and didn’t interrupt. Fizz continued, taking a moment to rinse his hands before working. Fizz worked fast, that’s for sure.
“250 grams a’ sugar, 25 grams a’ cornstarch, 30 grams a’ lemon zest, 300 milliliters of water, 180 milliliters of lemon juice - which I’ll need to strain, - And just, ah, whisk that till’ it’s chunkless.”
Both Lemrio and John were paying attention to Fizz’s words, although one understood better than the other. Fizz continued, working as he explained.
“Medium heat. Now it’s gonna look like nothin's happenin’ for a while, but then it’ll suddenly burn. There’s no inbetween here, John; Look away for too long and suddenly you’ve got a gross goop instead of a lemon gel. Now, as you’ll see, it’s gotten all gel-y. I check by tossin’ a wooden spoon in there and seeing how well it coats.”
Fizz said, while measuring out a cup of the lemon mixture. John nodded, following along although he was a bit lost on what part Fizz was making in the first place. Probably the inside of the pie. Fizz continued.
“Whisk the eggs at a steady pace. We’ve gotta pour this cuppa’ lemon goop into these egg yolks. Too fast, and we get scrambled eggs with lemon sludge; Terrible. Be steady, an’ don’t stress too much. It’s easier than it looks.”
Lemrio understood Fizz well, although missed the more intricate parts. So far, Lemrio’s understanding of the adventurer language was heavily tilted in favor of understanding recipes instead of actual books or conversation. Lemrio - if he could talk - could explain how to bake muffins, but be lost when questions are asked about said muffins.
John, on the other hand, was just feeling hungry. He sorta wanted to drink the lemon goop, despite how it was still steaming hot. Fizz continued explaining for a while while going through all the steps, and by the end of that, one lemon meringue pie was made. It did take about an hour, but it was worth it to John. He got to hear his friend ramble, and he got to watch how the dungeon- Er, Lemrio, - seemingly reacted. From what he observed, the muffin and cupcake spiders had all settled down near Fizz - who seemed utterly unaware - and stayed still for a while.
John wondered if spiders could sleep, and learned that today; Spiders do sleep, but it’s more like zoning out. Heading back to the Incinerate inn with a pie slice in his hand and a slight smile on his face, John went to tell Doremi, Sola, and Tido about what the dungeon ended up being named. He found it silly, but it fit the dungeon well.
Then his pie slice was promptly stolen by a crow on his way to the inn. Watching it fly away, John quietly regretted how he was unable to taste his second favorite kind of pie.