*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* went Jason’s alarm the next morning. As he rolled off the couch where he had fallen asleep the last night, Jason wondered why he had set his alarm for the ungodly time the previous night. He blinked sleepily at the still ringing alarm and saw the note that he had attached with the alarm on his phone:
“Time to be a superhero. :)”
Jason berated himself for being so ambitious the night before. A dinner of cold pizza and beer had not made for a good night’s sleep, especially due to the lack of bed in his bedroom. Jason had not bothered to get a bed yet for his new apartment, telling himself that he could get by without one.
This morning, Jason’s aching back and throbbing head did their best to disagree with his assessment of his sleeping needs. At 30, Jason was finding that his body did not like to spend the night on a lumpy couch after eating badly the night before. For the third time that year, Jason promised himself that he would start eating better and get a bed.
Maybe this weekend I’ll go out and find a mattress, Jason told himself. It’s high time I start taking care of myself and get over Shantae. She’s the one who cheated on me and then dumped me for that sleazeball “Biggy H.” “Biggy H…” What does that even mean? The moron was from the country and has no idea how to tell the difference between a diss track and a clapback.
Jason eased himself off the couch with quite a bit of groaning. The Ulysses J. Thompson Center, or U-JeT as it was more commonly known, was several blocks away from his apartment building. It housed the Bligson Bats, the local football team for the city of Bligson, and would be deserted right now as it was the off season for football. Jason could potentially make it down to the U-JeT and to his job on time, but to be safe, Jason shot a quick email to Tom that said he was not feeling well. Jason made sure to have it delayed until 9:00 AM to make sure that Tom didn’t get suspicious about the early email.
A quick shower helped refresh Jason and get his mind running again. He figured that “superhero tryouts'' might warrant some physical exercise and he threw on some sweatshorts and a loose t-shirt. Jason noted that he had not lost as much weight as he had wanted this last winter and had stayed at about 250 pounds. He wasn’t huge, but at the same time, he was not in the best shape of his life.
Oh well, Jason thought to himself. No time like the present to get back into shape.
Jason attempted to jog to the U-JeT but after the first block and a half, he started wheezing and had to stop and take a five minute break. It’s a good thing that I gave myself a good amount of time to get to this “tryout,” Jason thought to himself sarcastically. I might not have made it if I left later.
Jason walked the last several dozen blocks to the U-JeT and to his surprise, found a small group of people waiting outside the main stadium doors. As he looked around the diversity of those that had shown up astounded him.
There was of course the typical superhero wannabes like himself: thirty-something guys who ranged from fit to portly; several people had shown up in various cosplays of Super-Dude and Fantastic Girl, but there were even some more obscure cosplayers. Jason was pretty sure that one guy was dressed as “The Flea.” He remembered an old campy television show that he had grown up on that only lasted a few seasons. If Jason remembered correctly, there was even a live action reboot of the series that again lasted only a few seasons. To Jason’s surprise, he saw someone in a Frigid Ice costume.
I thought Frigid Ice was a supervillan, not a superhero, Jason mused. The poor guy probably doesn’t even know that this is supposed to be for superheroes and not supervillans.
The rest of the thirty-odd crowd was dressed in an odd assortment of clothing that Jason would not have associated with a tryout. One guy was dressed in a black suit and tie, wearing sunglasses, while next to him stood a dreamy eyed girl in a sundress that couldn’t have been out of college yet. A very obeise man stood near the doors arguing with a short, balding man about the benefits of being a superhero versus a supervillan. All in all, Jason was not too surprised at the turnout of who had shown up to the “tryouts,” but he was intrigued at the outliers who he would not normally believe to show up to something so ridiculous as “superhero tryouts.”
As Jason approached the man in the suit and the girl in the sundress, they both looked at him. The girl smiled dreamily at him and waved hello. The man nodded briefly and returned to observing everyone around him. Jason noted that the man’s gaze never lingered on anyone too long and there seemed to be a strong physique under the man’s suit.
“Hi,” Jason said, attempting to start a conversation. “My name’s Jason, but my friends call me Jay or ‘dude.’ What’s your guy’s names?”
“Misty,” replied the girl in a soft, breathy voice. “Nice to meet you Mister Jason. Are you here for the superhero tryouts too?”
Jason grinned at the girl. A quick glance showed Jason that Misty was a waif of a girl at five foot five inches and shoulder length blonde hair. She looked remarkably thin and was pale enough that Jason doubted that she saw much sun. A study in contrasts to the man next to her, she looked as if she could barely lift a ten-pound box. But Jason’s instincts had been wrong before; his ex-girlfriend could bench press over 250 lbs and she looked no bigger than your average swimmer.
“You know, I thought that was a typo on the invitation. There’s no way that there’s such a thing as ‘superhero tryouts.’” Jason laughed. “If there were, I’m sure that more people would be talking about them.
“I’m sure that it’s just a prank by some ViewBlogger who wants to get views for their website. Call me cynical, but I doubt that anyone would even want to become a superhero if it meant that they’d have to work really hard to become one.”
Misty frowned in thought. “I suppose it might be a prank, but wouldn’t it be more fun if it were actually a superhero tryout?” A gentle smile crossed Misty’s face as she continued to speak. “If it were a superhero tryout, maybe we could even choose our own superhero names and powers!”
Jason smiled at Misty’s naivete. He had once been like her, full of wonder and hope that the world had incredible things to offer. Unfortunately, the world had shown him that people like Misty often were chewed up and spat out as bitter, cynical people like Jason.
“Well, if this were to be a superhero tryout, I would definitely want the ability to teleport wherever I wanted to,” replied Jason. He had decided to humor Misty as she seemed nice enough. “With a power like that, even if it was only short range, I could get in and out of sticky situations without anyone being the wiser.”
Misty nodded thoughtfully at his suggestion and pursed her lips as she thought how to respond. “I think,” she started slowly. “I think that I would be… someone with powers to control animals. No… that’s very generic and I need to choose something different. More unique.” As Misty thought harder, Jason noted that her nose wrinkled in a cute way.
No Jason! You are not here to pick up a girl! He reprimanded himself. Actually, Jason’s inner dialogue asked, why are we here?
Jason was just about to answer himself when Misty cried out “Ah ha!”
Startled, Jason looked at Misty quizzically. Misty blushed and smiled at Jason. “I would be able to draw things to life. I’m quite the artist and I would love to be able to have my creations come to life.” Misty swished her dress dreamily and continued, “Yes, I’d love to be able to draw my creations to life and have them support me in my crime fighting. But they would be very nice creations and if I didn’t like them, I could always erase them.”
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
“I have a large studio in the suburbs that’s full of drawings and paintings. I sometimes like to paint entire walls and have even received some national recognition for my paintings. Several celebrities have approached me, but I’ve not felt too good about hiding my art from the world, so I’ve turned down their offers.”
Jason had to admit Misty’s superpower idea was quite fascinating. It would only be limited by the user’s imagination and ability to draw. If Misty was as good as she said she was, Jason had no doubt that she could make some truly beautiful and terrifying creations if she set her mind to it.
“That’s a really cool idea Misty,” Jason said amazed. “Hey,” he turned to look at the suit-wearing man. “Sunglasses, what’s your superpower idea?”
The man glared at Jason for a second. Or at least, that’s what Jason assumed since the sunglasses hid the man’s eyes. After seeming to find no trouble from Jason, the suited man smiled grimly and said in a gruff voice, “Perfect Accuracy from any distance,” and walked away from Jason and Misty.
“What’s his problem,” Jason asked Misty.
“Dunno,” replied Misty, frowning. “I tried to say hello before you came up to me and he just grunted in reply. I guess some people aren’t morning people like we are.” With her final words, Misty gave Jason a smile that could melt ice cream on a winter’s night and Jason felt his heart start pounding.
“Uh…” Jason stammered. “W-w-well, I’m not really a morning person. In fact, I’m much more of a night owl, but I managed to get a decent night’s rest last night and it’s really hard to be grumpy around you.” Stupid, Jason thought. She’s not here to meet guys and that was cheesy as hell.
To Jason’s surprise, Misty blushed further, turning her cheeks a bright pink. Misty flashed Jason the brilliant smile again and her next words came out very soft, “Well thank you Mister Jason. I do try to be a nice person. I hope that it won’t hold me back in the tryouts; whatever they are.”
Jason could feel himself falling for this girl when words started coming out of his mouth before he could stop them. “We could work together if you wanted! I’m not too good either, but who knows, we could be a great team!” Jason could not believe the words that came out of his mouth. Normally it took him a few drinks to work up the courage to even ask a girl to dance at the bar, and now here he was asking some random stranger to be a partner in a non-existent tryout that who knows what would happen at.
Misty beamed at Jason and squeaked, “I’d love that! Thank you!” Her smile told Jason that he had made the right decision and he was about to ask Misty about her artwork when he heard a clattering by one of the side doors.
Out of the door came a portly, short elderly man who wore large wire rimmed glasses on his face that peeked out from a shock of white hair. Jason thought, Well if there’s going to be a mad scientist, I bet this is our guy. He looks like the typical mad scientist who turns the unsuspecting hero into a superhero with some science or whatnot. The man held a clipboard and seemed to be jotting notes on a notepad on the clipboard before he looked up and saw that a crowd of about thirty had been waiting outside the stadium.
Startled, the man composed himself and said in a reedy voice, “Hello everyone. I am assuming that you are here for the superhero tryouts?” This elicited a round of chuckles from the gathered group. “Ah yes, I know that it sounds far fetched, but there was a special embedded font in the email that specific individuals were able to see. It seems like the number of people that we found in this city are far greater than other worlds… I mean locations.”
Jason looked at Misty after the last statement. Misty gave James a look with half-hooded eyes that said, “I know as much as you do.” Jason returned his attention to the elderly gentleman who had continued onward.
“...You will find that there is a packet of information and provisos that need to be reviewed and signed before we are able to start the training session. Of course, this is not the first location that we, I mean I, have visited looking for suitable candidates, but this does seem to be one of the more significant groupings of special individuals.” The gentleman chattered along oblivious to the strange looks that he was getting from the gathered crowd. “I believe that the last group only had three or four specialized candidates,” he continued. Under his breath he added, “Much too little for the broadcast to be popular. Much too little.
“However, this candidate group is one of great excitement for us…. I mean me. ” the man stammered and gave a short cough. “If everyone would be so kind as to read through the contracts that I will be handing out, we can get started on the selection process. I do not have any way of answering questions about the contract as I was not the one who wrote it, so please do not ask me questions because I. Don’t. Know.” The last few words were emphasized strongly.
“Who are you?” asked someone in the crowd. “Why should we sign anything?” This was met with murmurs of approval as the crowd began asking themselves why they should follow the instructions of the strange man.
Sensing that he was losing his audience, the elderly man replied in an even higher reedy voice, “I am Doctor Eggburton Vinta, but you can call me ‘Doc,’ ‘Doctor E,’ or ‘Doctor Egg.’ That is who I am. As for why you should sign the paperwork, I believe the email that you received should have explained it all. Powerful areas of expertise and incredible levels of excitement await you if you sign.” Doctor Eggburton thought for a second and exclaimed, “And superheroes! Don’t you all love superheroes and want to be one?”
This brought a further round of whispering and mumbling from the crowd and Doctor Eggburton seemed to grow slightly red. “Just read the contracts and sign them and you will find out what’s in store for you!” he exclaimed angrily. “There’s nothing in them that shouldn’t be comprehensible and I guarantee that you will have the time of your short, pathetic lives!”
With a huff, Doctor Eggburton began handing out contracts that were held together with binder clips. Jason looked at the contract that he had been handed incredulously. It seemed to be a ream of paper that the contract had been written on, easily close to 500 pages. Jason tried to skim through the contract, catching glimpses of phrases such as “severe bodily harm,” and “dismemberment, disemboweling, and disavowment,” but that list seemed to go on for several pages and looked like it was a list of potential problems that started at “active assimilation” and ended at “zeta beam cryonis.”
Half the items listed on the page, Jason wasn’t even sure were real. Who had ever heard of “Rambunctious Rhearaptor Tickling?” And what was “Glump Foot” supposed to be? Most of these terms had to be made up and they took up a majority of the contract. Jason quickly skimmed through the pages upon pages of terms and decided to read the beginning and end of the contract since there was so much fluff.
A contract between the player, ________, and the Liquid Gold Corporation (LGC)
This contract is a legally binding document between player, __________, and Liquid Gold Corporation, henceforth being noted as “LGC”, for participation in the “SuperPowered Games.” Said contract assumes no liability between LGC and the player for the following (see addendum 4.5.10B for list of occurrences) potentially dangerous and/or lethal occurrences that might occur during the participation of above mentioned “SuperPowered Games.” This contract is legally binding across multiverses and alternate realities and…
After the first paragraph of legalese, Jason found his eyes glazing over. He did catch the part regarding “alternate realities” slightly odd and he had never heard of the “Liquid Gold Corporation” but he promised himself that he would read the contract in its fullest when he was able to find the time for it.
Jason flipped to the end of the contract and read the following paragraph:
Inasmuch as the player, __________________, relieves LGC of any potential liability of bodily harm or lethal consequences when related to said “SuperPowered Games,” LGC will in turn award the following to the winner(s) of said “SuperPowered Games”:
1 - Reality Pass allowing for said winner to access any reality that the winner wishes to connect to.
2 - Superpower(s) of one’s choice in addition to any subsequent powers received throughout the course of “SuperPowered Games” - said superpowers will be adjusted according to additional rules.
3 - a sum of $1,000,000 in the requested currency of the reality that said winner chooses.
Jason’s eyes bugged at the winnings that he could earn. One million dollars? And superpowers in addition to ones that were received during the games?! He didn’t fully understand the part about “alternate realities” but Jason quickly signed the bottom of his contract.
Jason looked around and found that he was one of the last people to be signing the documents. Misty smiled at him as she handed the documents to Doctor Eggburton a few meters away.
I must be one of the only people who did more than a cursory glance of the document, Justin pondered. Still, a document that large needs more than just a cursory glance, if my time in insurance has taught me anything. He was a bit troubled about the “dangerous and/or lethal occurrences” noted in the initial paragraphs of the document but Jason shrugged off the concern, noting that most game shows probably had that statement in their clauses, not that he had signed any contracts for a game show previously.
As Jason and the final few people handed in their contracts, Doctor Eggburton placed the documents in a box and clapped his hands together, exclaiming, “Excellent! Now we are ready to begin!”
With a flourish, the doctor gestured to the doors that he had come out of and motioned for the new contestants to follow him into the dark doorway that beckoned untold adventures and excitement.