Emery rubbed her temples, as she struggled to go back to sleep limbo. She feels a hand tugging her on the shoulder, lightly tapping on her cheeks. She flinched away from the touching hands. It was too real, too bothersome. She wasn’t in the mood to get up.

“Emery…” a soft-spoken voice called out to her, hesitant. “Emery wake up, you’re half an hour late for your morning schedule…”

“No…go somewhere else,” she grumbled, Pressing her face into the pillow. It was very comfortable. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to cuddle her pillow, she wanted to rest.

“Come on, you’re gonna be beyond late for work.” Lilia, her assistant nagged her on.

Her blanket was yanked off her, she jumped upright. Half awake, she groans. Her limbs were sore from irregular sleep, and or no sleep. Emery forced her eyes open. It was too bright. Deep down she really was exhausted. Her body refused to cooperate.

“It’s not fair,” her voice was hoarse and raw. “Most capes don’t have to be on alert at least till past seven. They get to cruise in their private jets, and sip lattes whenever they want, only to get called when there’s a goddamn pr opportunity available on the table.”

“But you are not most cape emery, You’re Heliogirl, sta–”

Lilia was such debby downer sometimes.

“Yes, yes, yes. The sun-born, prodigal bitch, of Pacific-City, I get it.” A sharp breath flew from her mouth, she threw her head backward in frustration, then let out an unwomanly moan, stretching her arms and legs. “You don’t need to be so pushy, Lilia. I’ll get up when I get up. The city can go fuck itself.”

“I-I’m just trying to be helpful,” Lilia said, her voice breaking.

Her hands flailed all over the bedside table. No glasses nearby. She hissed like a wild snake. Lilia pressed them inside her hands before backing up.

“Thank you, Lilia.” She mumbled, hardly looking at her.

Lilia nodded, but she looked hurt as she lingered in her presence before backing away. Emery didn’t have the sensibility right now to care. Not right now. Rushing right past her ‘assistant’, running straight to the bathroom.

She washed her face, to refresh herself, then stopped herself in front of the mirror.

Freezing at the sight of herself. Short black hair, made damp, now clinging to her pale skin. Eyes dark brown but hollow. Haunted by the past. She felt like she was looking at some old ghost. She hated herself.

She pressed her fingers into her hair. Her reflection was a living mockery. Never beautiful enough–at least that’s what she was told when she started being a superhero. Ugly Duckling made a superstar. She fucking hated the Pr teams. Heliogirl was everything she was not.

Blonde.

Beautiful.

Brave.

Lies. Every moment of it.

She frowned at herself, her eyebags looked heavier than ever, they clung like old specters, she felt half dead already, and probably would be one of these days.

Of course, nothing concealer couldn’t fix. Right?

Emery got into the shower, hoping to wash away the cold weight settling into her gut. Warm water blasted her, it burned her. She let it rejuvenate her.

Panic ensues when she can’t find her towel, missing from its usual spot.

“Lilia, can you bring me a towel please?”

The girl walked up to the door, with a minor pause. “I Can’t just walk inside?”

“Come on. How am I supposed to finish up? Stop being afraid, we’re both women. The curtain’s closed anyway…”

“O-ok!” she replied nervously. Sprinting in and out, Handing her a towel underneath the curtain like Emery was going to bite her head off.

Getting out of the shower was more of a hassle than she’d hoped it would be. There were small pockets of glue-like residue stuck in her head that penetrated the wig. The result of fighting a biohazardous villain at 10 pm. Hardcore shit, no breaks. She hated it.

She hated it!

Dressing up in her costume was the more annoying part of her morning routine. Snapping on a nearly indestructible wig, and slipping hyper-advanced eye contacts, was uncomfortable and suffocating. The contacts stung like a fire ant’s bite. But she had to do this, force herself to keep going. However once it was comfortably fitted, it never became an annoyance, at least until a fight happened.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

Her mind wanders as she fits the bleach blonde ‘Aryan’ wig.

It was never supposed to be like this. She was just a silly rich maternal orphan, whose father was an alcoholic. She wanted to flee the city, not become a part of it. She never wanted to do this Pr shit. She never wanted to represent Pacifica’s female youth.

Every second heliogirl existed, was a second stolen from her own life. She wanted to go out, be promiscuous and wild, hedonistic and decadent if she could.

Lilia, fixed the crease on her back, with her careful delicate hands. Snapping Emery out of her mental stagnation.

“There you go, you’re perfect” she hummed, happy and oblivious to her pain.

Emery didn’t feel perfect, she felt like a caged animal.

Breakfast followed dressing.

A High-protein, low-carb meal. Bacon, a sausage, a couple of eggs and avocado, one slice of buttered toast. She’d kept this lie for years now, that she needed a perfect diet to maintain peak performance. The truth? she never needed to eat, when the sun gave her all she needed. But damn did the food taste good.

Her body burned it all, she could eat whatever she wanted, at any time.

She watched Lilia dig into her own portion of the meal. She had subtle cuteness, which Emery could never have. A sweet cinnamon bun. She couldn’t help but be jealous of her natural soft blue eyes. She had to fake hers.

Was that jealousy? Casual non-casual resentment? No, wrong train of thought. Lilia deserved better than to be stuck with her mental illness.

A small piece of avocado was lodged on her nose, she pointed it out.

“Oops, I’m sorry. I know I have bad table manners.” Lilia became flustered very easily.

“Stop being silly. and stop saying sorry a lot.” Emery advised.

“I’m sorry, Emery– I mean I’ll try to.” She muttered. Making Emery giggle and shake her head..

The girl looked away, embarrassed. Was she frightened? She forgot capes were intimidating. She didn’t mean to be rude to her.

“Um…was the meal satisfactory?” she asked.

Emery shook her head up and down. “Of course, you don’t need to ask that.”

The girl scratches her head, mumbling and making excuses.

Waiting for the clock to strike 06:10, Emery flipped through an old worn out novel she had gotten from an distant aunt from eastern Europe. ‘Anna Karenina 'by Leo Tolstoy.’ Period dramas never interested her, but she did find herself lost in the prose of the story..

“Um, If I can interrupt you,” Lilia announced.

“Yeah.”

“Team Hope has been trying to contact you since yesterday, and said it was urgent.”

Let it ring,” Emery replied, her tone monotonous. She had no patience for forced camaraderie today.“ Ignore them, and don’t let anyone into the tower.”

“Got it,” The girl took a deep breath and waited for time to pass before bringing up another issue. “In other news, the civil case against you has been dropped.”

Emery perked up, her muscles tense. She bowed her head. Furious at herself for letting it happen in the first place. “I doubt it, there are still people that could come forward.”

“You’re right bu–”

Emery stiffened. Her hand clenched the fork tightly, her knuckles tense.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, her voice low. “It doesn’t change what I did.”

“You did your best,” Lilia whispered, reaching out to her.

Emery pulled away sharply. “Did I?” she snapped, images of rubble, blood, and lifeless faces flashing in her mind. “Because I don’t think they would agree.”

Emery slammed the table, making the food jump. Her thoughts lingered on the agency’s lawyers, they probably offered unthinkable sums to the people. It was immoral and unethical. “You don’t get it, Lillia, I caused that. If I had been faster, stronger. None of it would have happened. “

Lilia was quiet. But quickly changed the subject.

“Ok, Um, Upper management wants you to attend at least one of three PR events to boost your social rep and capital.”

She groaned. “What now?”

“Well, um, they gave you one of three choices, a ball, a speech, and charity.”

The last social event was a disaster, she’d nearly almost lost her wig due to a super-powered tugging weirdo.

“Tell me about the ball. Keep it brief.”

“There’s a celebrity ball, near Silvercity hall, you're expected to wear a ballgown and go with a male partner."

She grimaces. “Do I at least get to choose who?”

“Apparently mister golden prince himself is asking for you.”

“Charlie mann?!” she spat with disgust. “No, ew, I’m like half his age. fucking weirdo.”

Lilia smiled. “ I agree, I’ll forward a proper complaint to whoever thought it was a good idea.”

“Thank you, you’re the best gal I could ask for. I fucking hate management.” she slammed the table again. “Number two?”

The last thing she wanted was to be associated with the city’s sex symbol.

“Speech at blitz university, They’ll like to ask about struggle–”

“No…out of the question. The last time I nearly got doxxed because I stood in front of a conspiratorial douchebag. Next.”

“Um, charity event, at Astra highschool–”

“Done. Sealed.”

Lillia shut up but smiled. “You’re a good person, Emery. Not many care for children.”

“I doubt it,” she said, staring at her food.

Her phone buzzed– sharp, vibrating on the table. She flinched, nearly knocking off her coffee.

“Shit!” the name flashed briefly, and her stomach lurch. SCRA alert.

What now?

She picked up, sitting upright, steadying herself.

“Helio girl” It was her advisor and vice director of the SCRA. Dorian Price “We have a situation. Most capes are inactive, and my team’s hands are tied in other sectors.”

“Run it by me.”

“This isn’t POP business, just so you know…”

She swallowed, SCRA cases were always bloody and messy. Darker.

“What’s the issue”

“Pyromaniac. Silvercity Mall, a highly flammable flame thrower being used indiscriminately. Targeting civilians as we speak. No casualties reported so far.”

“No offense, this doesn’t sound like a cape matter. This sounds like a Police problem.”

“I agree, well normally. But the weapon– based on security footage, implies an unnatural design. Cape manufacturer involved. High volatile stuff too. You know the mall is flameproof, yeah. It’s fucking burning. Get the maniac, and solve the issue. We’ll deal with the rest, please hurry.”

fuck

She couldn’t ignore this.

“On my way!”

“Thank you.”

The call disconnected.

“Shit. Shit, fuck, fuck!” she propped the phone into a thin pocket in her suit. “I can’t get a fucking break.”

The room heated-wrapping around her. Her body glowed with golden light, her blond wig became golden, glowing like a goddess.

Lilia became slightly frightened, backing away, she fell on the floor. Shielding her eyes, fright in her voice.

“Shit, I'm sorry Lilia, I’ll make this up to you.”

The girl shook her dismissively. “Go. You’re needed. Don’t worry about me.”

Right. No hesitation. She needs to move.

She opened the glass pane window, leaping out of the window.