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Summus Proelium
Non-Canon 13 - Magical Girls Versus The Evil Queen

Non-Canon 13 - Magical Girls Versus The Evil Queen

“Ahahahaha! Flee! Flee for your puny, insignificant lives, mortals! Wallow in terror, weep with dismay, welter in the dread sweat as the hour of your annihilation approaches! Look upon your end and ululate for its imminence!”

Accompanying the deafening words, magnified as they were by a microphone held in one hand that connected to speakers throughout the room, was the sound of constantly cracking and reforming glass. Through the front space of the museum spread throughout this converted airplane hangar, a thirty foot tall tyrannosaurus rex made entirely of glass pounded its way forward, scattering two security guards with their weapons raised and forcing them to scatter at the last moment. All around the stampeding construct, dozens of people raced for any exit they could find, though some did so while holding their phones up to record video of the event. These stragglers were ‘helped’ along their way by a mixture of smaller glass constructs (made to look essentially like thin stick figures with very pointy hands), as well as several lizard-like animals, including a pseudo-bear, near-gorilla, and sort-of-panther. All three of those wore literal black and white burglar outfits and black eye masks that were specifically tailored to fit them.

Neither the glass beings, nor the (utterly unrecognizable with their cunning disguises) lizard-animals, did anything to actually hurt or catch the people they were ‘chasing,’ despite how much of a show they put on. Indeed, as one particularly slow man stumbled and fell in mid-sprint, the reptilian panther figure (who was clearly only very distantly related to the identical one the city already knew about that didn’t have a striped shirt and mask) skidded to a halt just behind him. Tilting her head, the scaled cat-like creature seemed to tilt her head and think for a moment, holding that pose at a dead stop for a solid three seconds before quite abruptly throwing herself onto her side, sprawling out dramatically as though she had just tripped at high speed. She then proceeded to flop around like a particularly inept fish, giving the man ample opportunity to scramble back to his feet and keep running.

Just to be on the safe side, she gave him a bit more of a head start before expertly flipping back to her feet and giving chase once more.

Similar situations played out through the massive hangar, as the glass dinosaur stood in the exact center, towering over every other being. Atop the T-Rex construct’s back was a platform, almost like a saddle, which was also made of glass. And standing in the center of that, overlooking it all, was a figure in a black and gold cloak with a crown-like pattern atop the hood. Gold gloves gripped the microphone in one hand and a long scepter in the other. That scepter was held high above the cloaked figure’s head, as she continued to cackle for another few seconds (just long enough for the civilians nearest the exit doors to get them open so that people could start fleeing through them). “Seek your sanctuaries, fools! Your walls will wane, your feeble fortresses fall, your precious protectors prostrate, your lame leaders languish! For Vizier Vitrics rules above all! Fall to your knees and--”

In mid-sentence, the figure paused, eyes glancing toward a man in one corner who was trying quite desperately to yank a door open. He pulled at it repeatedly, straining with all his might. Behind him, several others were huddled, pleading with him to hurry.

“Ahem,” came the voice through the microphone, “Take them!” Pointing with the scepter, she sent a dozen glass-stick figures scrambling that way. Through sheer bad luck (of course), the vast majority crashed into one another and exploded into various shards, all of which managed to avoid actually hitting anyone and happened to take several very important seconds to pull themselves back together. Meanwhile, the one construct to actually escape the carnage flung itself wildly at the trapped group, managed to miss every single one of them, and slammed into the door itself just as the man who had been desperately pulling at it ducked aside with a yelp.

As the construct slammed into the push handle, the door flew open, and everyone huddled nearby fled through it. Only once they were on their way did the cloaked figure stretch her hands above her head and resume cackling. With a sweeping gesture to one side, she sent half a dozen glass figures rushing to grab various paintings and other pieces of art from that wall. An equally grand gesture to the other side sent another half dozen to do the same there. Meanwhile, the security guards on the ground were staying very still as the reptilian-animals perched nearby and stared them down. This may have been the oddest robbery any of them had ever seen, but none were being paid enough to risk testing the patience of the lizards.

On the other hand, while they wouldn’t risk any confrontation, there were others who would.

“Hold it right there, fiendish felon!”

As one, the security guards, lizard creatures, glass stick figures and dinosaur, and the cloaked figure atop it all looked toward the source of the shout. It came from the rear of the hangar room, atop a high rafter where a small black shape had perched. Being directly behind the entire assortment, they all had to turn one hundred and eighty degrees to face that way (the glass figures taking the time to put the paintings back on the wall carefully rather than simply dropping them). Only once they had did the diminutive form leap from the rafters, wings spreading out as he called, “Shield of the city, feathered gift!”

In that instant, two, almost invisibly small pouches on the raven’s legs expanded into a set of red-gold armor, covering his body entirely to the point that he appeared to be more of a robot than a real bird. The only visibly biological part remaining was his small beak. Even his eyes were covered by a pair of tiny goggles.

“Ruby Force! Ace Birdbrain!” With that call, the armored raven did a quick barrel roll, spinning up and around through the air before swooping past, quite close to the cloaked figure. “Cease and desist this villainy at once, or face the consequences!”

Following the bird with her eyes, the girl pointed the scepter while starting to say something. Unfortunately, her voice didn’t quite carry very well and the bird (whose own voice was magnified by one of the devices attached to him) had already swooped nearly back to where he had started. Quickly, she brought the microphone closer in order to bellow through the speakers throughout the room once more. “You’re a fool to face me alone, Birdbrain! Without your compatriots, my monstrous minions may maul you unhindered!”

“He’s not alone!” That shout was also amplified through a microphone attached to a costume, as two more figures appeared. The pair (human this time) near one of the hangar exits, directly opposite where the bird had appeared. Which meant that, to see them, the assorted minions and their leader would have to turn back around once more. In the midst of doing just that, the air was filled with a pair of simultaneous shouts.

“Shield of the city, Shining Gift! Emerald Force! Guardian Swiftkick!”

“Shield of the city, Shining Gift! Silver Force! Patroller Cloudburst!”

And just like that, as the villainous eyes fell on the new arrivals, they were faced with Patroller Cloudburst (clad in her gleaming silver-blue armor, cloak, skirt, and boot), and Guardian Swiftkick (adorned by near-matching emerald-white armor, with dragonfly wings rather than a cloak). Both stood several feet apart from one another, fists on their hips as they stared up at the towering glass tyrannosaurus.

Seeing the two below, while the armored bird flew in slow circles to keep a sharp eye on what was happening, the clearly maniacal supervillain promptly laughed. “Finally! You have deigned to show yourselves! It’s only my third appearance this week, what does a lady have to do to get a little attention around here?!”

From where she was standing, Cloudburst reflexively muttered, “We couldn’t help it, she wasn’t allowed to go out until she finished this history project and--” An abrupt and aggressive bout of throat clearing from her partner made her amend, “I mean, you have our attention now, villain! A fact you shall soon regret!”

“Regret?” came the retort. “Do you want to know what I regret?!” Without waiting for an answer, the figure leapt from the top of the dinosaur. Immediately, the entire form shattered apart, reforming into a facsimile of a grand, elaborate staircase complete with banister. As she landed on the newly created stairway, the cloak with its crown-like hood design was dramatically swept aside, to reveal the girl beneath was also made entirely of glass, from her head to her toes. She looked almost like an ice statue, albeit an ambulatory one. Standing just under five and a half feet tall. The glass of her body had been meticulously designed to appear as though it was covered by intricate chainmail, though it was all the same structure. As were the ‘pants and boots.’ The only actual clothes she seemed to wear were those gold gloves.

Even as the cloak dramatically drifted away, she began to descend the stairs while continuing to speak into the microphone, voice bellowing through the public address system. “I regret permitting priceless pieces to perch pristine before puzzled pedestrian patrons perusing platitudinous plaques.”

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By that point, the glass figure had reached the bottom of the stairs, directly in front of the two other girls. Both of whom tilted their heads to the side and stared at her quizzically.

“Huh?” Swiftkick managed.

Swooping down from above, Birdbrain alighted upon a tall sign meant to direct visitors to the various displays. “I believe what she said was, ‘I don’t like other people looking at this art.’"

“They are plebians who know not its true value!” she insisted. Behind and around her, the lizards and glass stick-figures approached to form a semi-circle before the trio.

“And you do?” Cloudburst countered. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Of course I know its value!” With that bellow, the figure paused before giving a sly wink (a rather odd effect when portrayed through glass). “After all, I’ve already lined up buyers for it. And I am Vizier Vitrics!” The glass mouth formed into a wide, cheshire smile, speaking without the microphone for once. “And you are the shields of the city.”

“That’s right, Vitrics!” Swiftkick retorted, drawing herself up to point that way. “You and all your little glass minions here are gonna put every single one of those pieces back where they belong! They aren’t yours!”

“Oh, absolutely!” the villainess began, before holding up a single finger. “Ah, just one small thing though. About my minions?” A pointed pause for effect followed, before she lowered her voice conspiratorially. “They aren’t all glass.”

In that instant, a shot of red paint struck Cloudburst on one side, before she was yanked flying, tumbling head over heels to land at the feet of a familiar figure in a long-sleeved white shirt (textured to look like chainmail) under a long red jacket, loose-fitting black cargo pants, and a red metal helmet with a thin black visor over the eyes.

“Ficheur?” Cloudburst dazedly asked from her prone position. “What’re you doing here?”

“Hi there!” the La Casa villain cheerfully greeted her with a wave. “What can I say? I was bored and the lady makes a compelling argument for serving as one of her evil generals. She had a PowerPoint presentation and everything.” After a brief pause, she admitted, “Of course, it was just one slide with the words ‘I’ll pay you’ on it. But like I said, compelling argument.”

“Cloudburst!” Launching himself into the air, Birdbrain began to soar that way, just before a reptilian-bird swooped down from above, forcing him to barrel roll out of the way at the last second. The lizard-eagle barely avoided slamming into the ground, talons skimming the ground before she reoriented and chased after him. Soon, the two were performing truly inspiring aerial combat maneuvers throughout the rafters of the museum hangar.

“Now now, you didn’t think I let my friends here come without me, did you?” That, of course, was Pack, who emerged from the shadows of a utility closet, gripping what appeared to be a long metal staff with a wide head at one end shaped almost like the attachment to a vacuum cleaner. She pointed that toward Swiftkick. “We’re a package deal.”

With that, she pressed a button on the end of the staff-thing. From the wide end, a bubble of glowing red energy shot forth. It was about the size of a softball, though more oblong shaped. The energy blob flew like a fastball, expanding as it went until the thing was several times its original size.

Swiftkick, however, was reacting even before Pack finished the motion. Her hand snapped up, and she blurted, “Swift Switch!” From a small hole in her gauntlet, a tiny marble shot out. The marble flew just under the approaching blob of energy, before she hit the button on her glove that made herself and the marble switch places. It was returned to where she had just been standing, while Swiftkick herself appeared where it had already passed.

As soon as the energy blob reached the spot where she had been (and where the marble now was), it burst, exploding apart like burst bubblegum. Bubblegum which instantly hardened into a form tough enough to survive several blows from a sledgehammer without breaking. Had Swiftkick still been standing there, she would have been encased and trapped.

But she wasn’t still standing there. Instead, she had appeared directly in front of Pack. Before the lizard-controlling girl could react, the magical girl’s wings propelled her up and forward to slam into her with enough force that she was knocked to the floor with a yelp.

Meanwhile, the red paint holding Cloudburst down had faded, and as Ficheur looked toward her own partner, the blue-and-silver clad girl at her feet sent a firehose-like spray of water from one hand. It slammed into her chest, knocking her up into the air with a squeal that was half-surprise and half-delight. That same spray continued as Cloudburst made it to her feet, though the force of it was clearly not enough to actually be holding the villain aloft the way it seemed to be. That, naturally, was more an effect of the girl’s gravity-shifting powers.

Seeing one of her generals duking it out with Swiftkick while the other was held aloft in the air by Cloudburst, and Riddles chased Birdbrain back and forth through the air, Vizier Vitrics gave another Cheshire smile. “Thus the games have begun.” Raising the scepter above her head, she spoke into the microphone once more. “Foolish friends favor a fight? Fine. Face my formidable though flaky flunkeys!”

With that, all of the glass stick-figures shattered apart before reshaping into fewer, though more dangerous forms. There were fewer of them as it took more glass to make each, but these were seven-foot-tall gorilla-like beings with long bladed fingers and jagged glass blades sticking out of their elbows and knees. With the booming, magnified laugh of their owner filling the room around them, the newly-formed glass minions fell in to assist the generals in attacking the magical girls.

And thus, the true battle for the museum began.

******

Seven Minutes Later

Like a crystalline avalanche, an explosion of glass burst through the main entrance doors of the museum from the inside. On the tip of that avalanche, Vitrics, the lizard-animals, and the two generals rode their way out. The jagged glass structure both within and now partially outside the hangar covered every exit and would take some time for those within to break through.

“Keep your precious art then, girls!” the villainess called into the microphone, voice still carrying through the loudspeakers within the museum behind them where their goodie two-shoes opponents would hear. “But the next time we meet, you may find yourselves going from photorealistic to abstract!”

With those words, she pressed a button on her scepter. As she did so, a heavy-duty pick-up truck came roaring out of nowhere, driven by no one. Pack, already shrinking her lizards down and returning them to the backpack cage with their companions (along with their still-full-sized burglar costumes), hoisted herself into the driver’s seat, while the other two clambered into the back. A moment later, the truck peeled away, launching into traffic while horns of protest blared around them.

The moment they were out of sight of the museum and the witnesses surrounding it, Pack took a hard right turn through an alley while pressing a button next to the steering wheel. As she did so, the truck shifted. It went from being green to red, while a camper shell rose up around what had previously been an open back. Within seconds, the previous description of the vehicle would come nowhere near fitting what reentered traffic on the next street over, immediately slowing down to avoid attention.

“That was fun!” Melissa Abbott crowed, arms raised above her head. Her form shrank down, returning to her own true (though still glass) nine-year-old appearance. She was smiling broadly, practically vibrating with excitement as she sat in the back of the truck. “See, I told you they’d show up this time. Those first couple were just flukes. And you wanted to stay home and watch the Discovery Channel.”

“It’s lizard week,” Dani retorted from the front seat, already having taken off her own mask so that no one driving past would see anything untoward. They had had their moment of being the center of attention. Now it was time to blend in until they could get away from what was rapidly becoming the center of a police and Star-Touched convention. “My buddies all want to stay and watch it. They think they might see some of their relatives. You’re just lucky we have DVR.”

Unlatching her helmet and pulling it away from her head, Cassidy shook her hair out. “Lizards are fun, I wanna watch that too,” she put in before offering a quick, cheerful grin toward Melissa. “And yeah, sure, that was fun. I mean, the fighting part was. But running away without actually getting anything we were there for? That part wasn’t.” She squinted curiously. “How come you called a retreat right then? We totally could’ve done better than that. At least we could’ve gotten something.”

Melissa, in turn, smiled slowly, her glass mouth turning up at the corners. “And who said we didn’t get what we went there for? Come on, guys, this is the magical girls’ first encounter with the evil queen. They had the first couple episodes to fight nobodies so everyone can see how cool they are, and to practice their powers and stuff. That was the stuff we saw in the news already. Then they meet their archenemies. That’s us! If we don’t win at least a little bit in the episode where we get introduced, there aren’t any real stakes! This is the part where the magical girls think they won, but then they find out we actually won.”

Exchanging a confused look with Dani up in the truck cab, Cassidy cleared her throat. “Ah, what exactly did we win? I mean, like I said, we ran out of there with nothing. I’d ask if you stuffed a Monet in your pockets, but you don’t have any.”

In response, Melissa simply replied, “Pull over here.” As an uncertain Dani did so, the young girl crawled to the back of the truck and pushed open the tailgate, giving a sharp whistle.

Again, Dani and Cassidy exchanged looks. But a moment later, another familiar figure scrambled up into the truck, tugging the tailgate closed behind her with a cheerful, “Whoo! Let’s go! Come on, come on, come on, before someone catches up or figures out where I went!”

“Broadway?” Cassidy blurted, staring at their fellow La Casa Touched.

Broadway (or KD), in turn, pulled her own helmet off, face flushed with excitement. “What’re we waiting for, a written invitation?” Shrugging a backpack off her shoulders, she unzipped it and emptied out a pile of jewelry and cash. There had to be at least a hundred thousand dollars worth lying right there in front of them.

“Everyone at that museum tonight makes seven figures, minimum,” Melissa informed her two surprised generals. "All we had to do was make a big show and distract those girls, while all the rich people ran right where we wanted them, all huddled in a group. Then KD showed up and robbed them. She took everything they brought with them, so we have cash and jewelry instead of a bunch of obviously stolen unique art to try to sell.” With a new smile, she slowly added, “As for the magical girl gang back there…

“They have an archenemy.”