CRUSH
KILL
DESTROY
PERFECT
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Everything is dark. Like a cave without an entrance. Then I opened my eyes.
White. All I see is white. I blink a few times, and the blinding light subsides to a more manageable bleach. I look to my left, hearing a clicking sound from that direction. By my face are several large, steel-covered machines, and many monitors with differently colored lines drawing patterns on them. To my right I hear a scratching sound, and when I turn I see a woman in a white-coat, sitting on a stool and writing on a clipboard. She has brown hair, tied in a bun behind her head, and thin spectacles sitting on the tip of her nose. Her face was angular, and looking at her straight on was like looking at a knife blade. Her eyes were blue.
I said nothing, simply watching for a couple minutes. Pretty soon, I started to feel kinda creepy as she didn't seem to notice me. I opened my mouth and said, "Um, excuse me, but are you an angel?"
She looked up, tilted her head, then replied. "Why would you say that?"
I tried to raise my arms, but I couldn't feel them. So instead I just rolled my eyes. "Well, I did just die, unless I had a horrible dream. I may also have committed murder-oh my lord and savior Jebus fucking Santa, I'm going to hell, aren't I?"
She turned back to her board, absentmindedly answering me, "If you had a soul, I'm certain it'd be destined for hell. Just like mine. Anyway, have your cognitive functions returned?"
I thought through a couple difficult math problems, 7x70=490, 2/5000=0.0004, 2+2=3, those kinds of things. I didn't seem to have a problem solving them, so I gave an affirmative nod. The angel/disguised demon wrote down something quickly on her board, then got up and started turning very scary nobs and switches that I really wish were labeled. Unless I was going to hell, in which case I hope she mistakes the "Eternal damnation" button for the "Eternal Paradise" one. It was a faint hope, but even god makes mistakes, right? I mean, he made platipi, platypuses, platipicis, or whatever.
Just as I was starting to believe that she may have mixed up the down and up buttons, I heard and felt the hiss of steam across my limbs, and I could suddenly feel again. I started by flexing every muscle I possessed, and being very relieved that they were all there. I thought maybe the Gastrocnemius Soleous might have been missing, but luckily the hamstrings showed me where they were hiding, the cheeky buggers. Still couldn't feel my pinky toes, though.
I tried to sit up-
My head felt like something large, metal, and sharp had just split it in two. My vision was non-existent, and everything from my ankle to my spine hurt like the dickens. From a long way down the tunnel, I heard an emotionless voice. "I would suggest not attempting to sit up, as your body is updating. Please standby for approximately 3 minutes and 14 seconds."
So for three minutes and something-seconds, I did my best to hold my head together, because for all the world it felt like it was falling apart. Then all of a sudden, my vision cleared and the pain vanished like it had never been there. When I sat up, I took the first good look at my body since the voice had said, "Start the experiment."
Bruises covered my chest and legs, and after reaching up with my hands, I could tell my face was in the same shape. I felt lightly against my chest, then when I felt something was wrong, I pushed in slightly. Soon, I could tell something was very, very wrong.
My ribs weren't broken, and my heart was beating. Other than the bruises, there was nothing to say I had been fighting for my life just...I don't know how long ago. My clothes were identical to how I first saw them, When I was thrust into the light. Before the light, I had seen only darkness.
I looked over at the Angel/Demon with a clipboard, and pointed at my heart. "Are you sure this is mine? It seems to be working, so I must assume something is wrong."
She walked over to me, then took some scary metal things and shined a light in my eye. After ignoring me, she did some other stuff that I couldn't describe if I tried, and finally nodded in satisfaction and walked over to a door and opened it. "Well, off you go. Nothing seems to be wrong, and you're not mentally unhinged, so you're free to go. You should head over tot he mess hall, and eat something. You'll need your strength for the next experiment."
As I got up and started to walk, I stopped. I turned to face the Clipboard angel/demon, and looked into her eyes.
"I died. My brain was alive long enough to tell the exact moment my heart stopped. What did you do?"
She shrugged, then pointed at the machines. "Death is such a relative term. As long as you have the right machinery, and the correct ingredients, anything short of disintegration is curable. Even then, we could just make a new body and download you into it, so you really have nothing to fear. We make sure to keep several back-ups just in case.""
I thought back to my murder. "Do you mean that man I killed can be cured? He could be brought back to life?"
She hesitated, then slowly nodded. "Yes, that is technically possible."
I sighed in relief, and took another step out the door. Then I turned around and asked the Clipboard Angmon, "If you can answer me, what's the purpose of the experiments, if death is temporary?"
She sized me up, then closed the door until it was a crack, then whispered, "A couple years ago, someone remarkable appeared. You and your predecessors and those who come after you are made to simulate everything, in the hopes of replicating him. Goodbye, until you die again." Then she closed the door.
The way she spoke of my death, like some inevitable event, sent chills running up and down my spine that was blessedly whole, and not broken. I walked down the single hallway, towards a doorway with the words, "Mess Hall" on a sign above it. I headed in, and looked around.
On one wall, there was a long buffet-style counter, staffed by mechanical arms. I walked over and heaped chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli onto my plate and headed to a table. Along the way, I saw five or six other people, and tried to wave. They didn't look up, but rather had haunted looks on their faces. I wonder why?
Since I had no one to talk to, I finished quickly and then sorta fidgeted on the bench, not sure what I was supposed to do, or where I was supposed to go.
Maybe this really was hell, and the Clipboard Angmon had tricked me into walking in myself by tempting me with food. Damn! I can't believe I fell for such a simple trick! Perhaps the test for whether I would go to heaven or hell was whether I valued earthly things above temporal things, like have someone poke me in the eye and tap my head. At least I think that's what temporal means...
Just as I was about to start eating my fingers,(I was running out of nails, you see) some of those guys dressed in black with yellow goggles came and stood next to me. The one on the left spoke in an oddly echoing voice, "Subject 2463, you are required to come with us to the experiment room. Please follow us, or we will have no choice but to use force."
I jumped up eagerly, and held out my hand. "Sure! Just show me where to go. What's your name, since you already know mine?"
However, instead of answering, he turned around the moment I told him sure. I tried to ask the others' name, all in vain, and allowed myself to be dragged away. As we were leaving, the others looked at me for the first time, but they all had looks of...pity. I wonder why? It's just an experiment, kinda like wrestling, except with more blood. It's not like death is a big deal, so I wonder why they are looking at me with such sad looks on their faces?
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After passing many hallways without turning, we arrived at a large door that slid upward. The two stood to the side of the door, and one said, "Whenever you're ready."
I nodded, then stepped up to the door. The one on the left pushed a green button, and the door opened. I walked through, and saw the room was exactly like I had left it. I walked around a bit, then heard the crackling of a microphone turning on. "Subject 2463, are you ready to begin the experiment?"
"Yep! Ready as I'll ever be, start whenever you like!"
I hadn't noticed before, but the button next to the door turned from green to red, and above the left-hand window was a large screen with the words, "Wave 1" written on it. In the top corners of the room, I also spotted vents and fans, several meters above the floor.
I heard the Hiss, thunk of a metal door opening, and looked over at it as a white shoe appeared. From the depths, the man from before appeared. I smiled, waved, and walked towards him. He hadn't seemed like much of a talker, so I guess he was very business-minded. As we neared each other, I stuck my hand out for a shake, and opened my mouth to say good luck-
His fist hammered into my jaw, and I took several stumbling steps back. I rubbed the smarting jaw, then spit out the blood and spit in my mouth. Surprisingly, a tooth came out. I stood back up, then turned around. He was walking toward me inexorably, like he always had. I stretched my arm, then grumbled, "Right down to business, eh?" Then decked him across the face. I broke his nose, and as he stumbled back with blood spurting from the broken nose, I pulled my fist back and punched him in the chin.
He fell to the ground, and I took a second to look at my knuckles. They were split, and already bleeding, from hitting his jawbone. I looked back up as he was getting up, remembering his kick to my gut as I held myself up on hands and knees. I stepped forward, and gave him a kick to the face. I would say it was all for the sake of the experiment, but I can't say that without a guilty conscious. Honestly, it felt pretty good to pay him back.
I let him get back up, then took his punch with my arm, (It got bruised and smarted, but that's still better than losing a tooth) and punched him in the jaw again. This time, he stumbled back with his jaw hanging open and swinging. I smiled, then stepped forward and punched him in the nose again. He fell to the ground, and I folded my arms and turned to the white-clothed people who had called me a failure, and did my best to stick my nose as far into the air as it would go, while I could still look down on them. They, however, were ignoring me and drinking coffee. I started to swear-
I felt something hit my back, and turned to see the man, blood running down his face from the broken nose, and jaw hanging broken by the skin. It seemed he wasn't done yet. Even if dying wasn't a problem, hitting someone who could barely stand just felt...wrong.
But, I psyched myself up, pulled my fist back, and threw one last full-bodied punch straight into his face. We were the same height, so my fist hit his face at an upward angle. Before I realized, he had collapsed like a puppet with it's string cut. I gasped, then knelt next to him and felt at his pulse.
Nothing.
Even if I"d already killed him once...even if death was only temporary, the feeling of sending splinters of nose into brain still made me want to puke. However, I resisted and looked up as the metal door opened again. Out stepped-
Three men. They wore identical clothes, had identical expressions, and had the exact same face. The same face as the man I'd just killed. I stood back up, then backed away and swallowed my emotions. Now wasn't the time for feeling bad, I should finish the experiment. They did feed me, after all. The least I can do is help them out.
So I backed away as the three men approached at the exact same speed, and readied myself as they closed in. The first started to punch, so I turned to the one on the right and smashed my fist across his face, sending him stumbling sideways. I turned to the first one, and punched him across the chin. The third one punched me in the stomach, and I involuntarily spit up some of the left over blood. I turned to him and punched him in the face, too. I turned to look behind me, and was nailed in the face by an emotionless man. I reeled back, then leaned forward and punched him in the stomach. As he bent over, I curled my left hand into a fist and punched him in the jaw. A second after that, I was falling over on my side, as another bruise started to form on my left cheek. I got up as fast as I could, but still got punched again, this time in the chest. It didn't hurt that much, but it didn't feel pleasant either.
I grabbed his shoulder with my left hand, and drove my right fist into his gut, then grabbed his head and smashed my knee into it-
He fell over, an arc of blood spraying from his face. He fell to the ground, twitched once, then started forming a pool of blood around his head. His face was deformed, and small little sprouts came out of the cracks. I stood, frozen in shock, and was then punched both in the side of my head and my ribs at the same time. At the same time as well, bright-white spots appeared in my eyes and I heard that cracking sound I'd heard more than ten times already.
As the two other men closed in, I stood up panting, and readied my fists. Adrenaline roared in my ears, and blood made my face feel like it was drowning. Or was it the other way around? As the two closed the distance, I yelled and stepped forward, punching both in the face. They made no effort to dodge or block, but rather stood there and took it. After I pulled back, preparing for another, they both punched me again. I felt my head snap to the side, and saw blood spray into the air from my face, and felt an odd, disconnection with my nose. Likewise, another of my ribs was cracked. I turned toward the two, grabbed one by the face, and punched him in the throat.
He stumbled back, and the other came in to punch me. I ducked, then hammered both my fists into his ribs and stood up as he bent over, then elbowed the back of his head, with all of my body weight behind it.
I breathed hard, then watched as the one I'd punched in the throat stood up, hand to throat. He walked over to me, still expressionless, and pulled his fist back.
"I don't think so!"
I stepped forward, with my right fist pulled back, then shot it forward into his throat, straightening my arm as much as I can. I felt something give under my knuckles, then I felt an intense pain in my elbow. I swore rabidly and felt at it, and the word appeared in my head.
"Hyper-extension, when a joint is forcefully pushed beyond it's range of motion."
I Fell to my knees, then screamed, "Fuck" as loudly as possible, and bent over my elbow. I looked back up at the sound of metal doors sliding open, and I looked up.
Three more men, exactly the same as all four before, except they had no wounds. I knelt, surrounded by four bodies, covered with bruises and tire muscles, and tried to stand up. I shook and nearly fell over, my adrenaline rush having run out, leaving me exhausted. As they came for me, expressionless, I threw a half-hearted punch, then let myself be punched and punched, and when I fell, they kicked me and broke my ribs and my sternum and my arms, and I wondered why they didn't just get it over with.
"Just step on my head already!"
Finally, merciful darkness enclosed me, and even though I knew, logically, that dying wouldn't matter, I was still scared.
In my nose remained the mistakable scent of iron, along with a wet, sticky feeling on my hands.