I woke up and became aware! I knew and existed. The question, "Where was I?" was stifled in its inception as I recognized the warm feeling of deep security that I had only ever experienced with HIM. The memories, which were knowledge, all came to me and laid themselves out. I saw myself in this and that physical life again. I captured every moment, my feelings, and why I had made certain decisions. Now, I saw everything from the outside once more. I realized what other options I could have taken, but nothing went backward; everything only moved forward, and thus, it was like a remembering. And there was my last life, my last adventure, which I had now completed.

But even though I was now free from all restrictions and distractions and enjoyed the immense well-being that surrounded me, I felt a deep sadness. Somehow, it felt like I had lost something. Something was missing.

Then I knew words. No, I didn't hear them. I had no body or sensory organs through which I could receive something. It was as if I knew words that were meant to come to me: "Ah, you have awakened, my little soul. I see something troubling you. Do you have questions?" "Yes," I replied, "Why did I have to leave so early? I hadn't even finished my path in life." "Well, it is not your first life that ended at a young age, is it?" "That's true, but I never felt as sad as I do now, incomplete." "Let me assure you that you have successfully followed your path. But I understand your feelings and will allow you to see and accompany your loved ones again. Perhaps it will help you understand why you feel incomplete." I had not expected something like this, and the perspective of seeing everyone again filled me with joy. I knew that everybody had to go their way, both as a soul and in a body, but that didn't mean one had to walk this path entirely alone. My last life still vibrated within my soul, and my parents and Lena had been significant and dear to me. He knew of my gratitude; words were not needed.

I appeared at my parents' house as Lena cried in my mother's arms. I saw my father sitting with his head bowed, also crying. My mother said, "We want you close to us, Lena, and we also want to take care of him. He is our first grandchild." Lena sobbed, "Paul didn't know about him; I would tell him today. I only found out today at my doctor's appointment." "I know, he would have been delighted," my mother said. I saw my father stand up and embrace them both, and I saw sorrow, joy, and hope in his eyes. I felt a conflict of joy and sadness within me and didn't know what to do; somehow, I wanted to be close to all of them, so I also went to them and embraced them. "Do you feel it?" my mother said. "He is here with us." "Yes, I feel it too," Lena said, sobbing and starting to cry again. "What?" I thought, "How can that be?" But then I remembered that I sometimes felt something was there but couldn't see, hear, or feel it. Most of the time, I dismissed it as a fantasy. "I love you," I tried to convey, and a deep peace overcame me. I had been able to say goodbye, and they somehow felt me. Lena was pregnant! It made me sad not to be there to watch my child grow, but I knew my parents would be there and support Lena in everything. Something of me had stayed with them. If it had been possible, I would have cried. I returned and now felt that I had completed my last life. I knew there was a plan for all existence, but I didn't understand it because it was so vast that I would probably never grasp it. But if he told me I had successfully completed my last life, I would gladly accept it. One of my tasks was to learn and grow with each life. Back with him, I knew, "You know you have to go again, right?" "Yes, I know, but do I have to start over without knowledge every time? How many mistakes could I prevent, and how much faster could I find my way if I remembered everything after a new beginning?" I asked longingly. "Well, that is precisely your task. Your decisions, finding your path, and finding me without knowing. Your freedom to define yourself anew each time strengthens you and makes you grow. That's why I have left hints, messengers, and scriptures everywhere. Some have already found the way and know they should help those who have not yet. But everyone must be willing to do this and decide for themselves. I wait and rejoice for everyone who comes back to me. Speak to me, and I will listen. I am always with you. Now prepare yourself and begin your new path, my child." I wanted to linger in this well-being and peace to look back and consider my past decisions. Each time was a new experience, and I noticed how I had often made the same wrong decisions. In all my incarnations, I realized that my soul defines my actions and deeds, which are not dominated by the mind or the body. I knew that, but each time, I forgot it over and over again. The primitive necessities of the body, emotions, and local appreciations cloud the mind and cause some souls to get lost. Some get lost in chaos, others become destroyers, some fall victim to pure rage or greed, some become megalomaniacs, and some become so overconfident that they believe they can become gods with their power. They only measure themselves against their kind and lose touch with reality. Every soul can decide for itself what it wants to be. But some go the wrong way for too long and can not return to HIM. Others, who find their way and recognize their true being again and again, flourish and ascend to higher levels. They are allowed to stay longer and turn to new tasks.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

***

I prepared myself and searched for a new entry point. Before, there was only HIM, and no time existed. Since HIS very first creation, HE also created time. Since then, time has always moved forward, and everything has changed. Every entry point is different, a new time, with a new, unexpected adventure that must be mastered. I perceived the many possibilities, so many realities, and so many places. I took my time, though time was different here. I knew it was important that I decide. So, I opened myself up and became aware. I found something that caught my attention, different from anything I had experienced so far. This reality was so different from everything I knew. I could perceive a powerful distortion there!

Had this place, this entire system, once been a paradise? A place lacking nothing, planets in pure harmony? And now? Now, it looked as if a massive explosion had torn everything apart like a claw that had wreaked havoc there. But it was not lifeless. I could perceive that a mighty battle had been fought. Powerful energies were smoldering, powers rising and falling, life-fighting for its existence. Large land masses floated around, held together as if by magic. Huge storms raged as if a beating heart was struggling not to stop. It was a fight against chaos. A fight for life. A battle for existence.

This was something entirely different. "May I enter here?" I asked, pointing to the area. "Well, be careful, little soul. As you can see, that place is in great conflict. Many souls have been lost there, and many have gone too far. I have refrained from intervening, cleaning up, and ending everything. Because there are still many valuable, unbroken souls fighting for the zone in great hope, for their sake, I am still watching." "Then I would like to try it there and to find my way." "Good, my child, it is your decision, so it shall be! Prepare yourself, for your path awaits you. It will be difficult, but stay true to yourself and return to me."

Then all was turning around me, the whole Universe, as i was the center sucking it all into me and I turned into a white light.!