The hospital seemed more worse for wear than the buildings surrounding it yet it was the center of attention. The parking lot out front was chaotic enough, I couldn’t imagine how crowded it was inside.
Preachers stood in the parking lot on rickety stages proclaiming acts of miracles. “God’s now alive more than ever! Praise him and you will gain abilities you never thought possible. In Isaiah 41:10 he says, 'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' Follow the Lord and he will strengthen you. Join our congregation on Jackberry Avenue and may God bless you.” Many cheered these people on, myself not that afflicted.
People flew in and out of the hospital, not from just the front door. There were no lines or organisation from the outside, you're just supposed to just push yourself through to the front. My anxiety welled but I quelled it again, I had to find my family.
I sent a small pulse of mana from my core, outward to untense some of my rigid muscles. Building up some inner courage, I started shoving my way through the prong of people. Bumping and apologising into everyone I saw made me uncomfortable, my mind hyperaware. I ended up making it through the front double doors, past a 500 lb bodyguard with a heavy-set pitbull, and saw a singular woman manning the front desk. She was talking faster than humanly possible, her mouth turning into an actual visible blur. In fact she sounded clearer and more focused than my own jumbled thoughts. She answered at least 15 people in the twenty seconds I was standing there as questions were constantly being thrown at her.
I got close up enough so she could hear me, gulping to clear my throat. I tried to bring back that same feeling I had when my voice rose with Uriah. Splitting my mana became difficult with this many people surrounding me, my mana unstable and my anxiety showing. I felt my mana move up to back of my throat again and hurriedly spoke up while I had a semblance of control.
“Excuse me, where are Sydney and Barry Zenn?”
Immediately as I spoke up, I knew I fucked up, as the building became quiet and my body collapsed forward. But before I lost conscious, a voice echoed in my head as clear as a bell chime.
“Room 614, Sixth floor, left wing, seventh room on your right.”
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“Hey honey, how are you?” I open my eyes to the sound of my mother's voice.
“You had us scared for a minute when I saw someone carrying you towards us.”
“... What?” My voice had become hoarse and grainy, as if I’ve been screaming at a punk-rock concert for hours.
They said you collapsed due to mana exhaustion even though they said you shouldn’t have mana. You’re lucky you weren’t hurt.” My mother embraced me and coddled my fears away.
I almost decided to move my head but my moms lap was too comforting. I looked up at her staring at me and frowned. A deep carmine red bruise covered her forehead, combined with ugly purple bags under her eyes. She looked absolutely horrific, an immediate reply not coming to me due to shock. Looking to my dad, he appeared to have a cast around his right arm, his clothes still torn and bloody.
“What happened to you guys?” A hint of worry and exhaustion escaped my lips.
They both look at each other before my dad deflects the question. “We’re okay darling, it’s your brother we’re worried about.”
“Lucas?” My father nodded to a corner behind me as I flipped up from my mother's lap. In a bed was my brother, laying face up. His face anything but his usual crazy self, a softness appeared that I’ve never seen before. “Is he alive?” I ask with more than a tang of worry.
“He’s in a coma, the house collapsed on top of us. His head got hit by the roof and he’s been passed out since.” My dad retold unemotionally, not looking into my eyes.
“Is he gonna live?”
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“We don’t know. There's nothing we can do.”
I sit and stare at my older brother, too uncomfortable with holding his hand like my mom. I only stare at him. Why am I not crying? He is my only brother, yet I cannot mourn for him? I feel disgusted with myself and sit on the floor next to him, scooching out of my mother's embrace, not wanting to be touched.
Three other families filled the small room of 614, the curtains not really providing much privacy. A gruff, 60+ year old man, sat a few feet away in a wheelchair reading a newspaper, of all things. I couldn’t see the other people but could hear hushed tones quite often.
I learn from my mistakes by not going full meditate mode, easing in and out if it, moving my mana. I know my parents wouldn’t react well to me appearing dead either, like my classmates.
I act like I’m asleep, faking a small snore, not wanting to be bothered by anyone at the moment. Distracting myself with my ugly thoughts, a new idea forms in my head.
I try to break off a lot smaller chunk of mana and I manage to successfully move it freely. I move it up my neck, through my head and towards my right ear. At this point I don’t know what to do with it though. Confused, I move the mana around my ear yet my hearing does not change in the slightest. Finally, I imbue the mana into my ear drum, in the spot where my doctor usually points to, past my ear canal. A pain assaults me before I hear my parents whispering.
“All praise to the mother up high. Bless my children and heal them, they are but innocent to the world. Heal them lord and use them in your mystical ways. We are but worker bees before you Lord. Amen.” “I raised my prayer level and leveled up, Sydney! Should I put my skill point in my faith stat or save it?”
“Use it.” My dads words whisper. “It might be able to make them heal faster, specially Lucas.”
“Fuckkkkkkk ow ow ow ow” I clutch my ear in pain as it fills with a red liquid.
“What's wrong Mae? Are you okay?”
Her words echo and bounce around in my head before I can respond, a headache already formed annoyingly.
I tense up and move the rest of my mana out of my ear before it hurts more. My head’s strain slowly dissipates and I relax my lower jaw before I answered my mom.
“I’m okay Mom, my ear just hurts a bit. I hit it on my desk in school and it flares in pain every now and then.”
I see her eyes dart to the exit and a movement in her hips. Before she has the chance to go find the head nurse to fix my small problem, I assure her.
“Mom please.” I look at her, “It doesn’t hurt that much. There are so many more people that need real help. Don’t. Please. If you go bug a nurse, I’m gonna just leave and be pissed”
“Why don’t you let me ever take care of you? What if it’s actually something serious? You could be really hurt. Why is it that I’m always too much for you?”
I don’t dignify her with a response. If I did it would just start the same argument I’ve had with her a gazillion times already.
While she is quiet and I have some more time to think, I try to summarise how I can get stronger efficiently. I should first work on my mana foundations before I move onto imbuing them into my body parts, it obviously keeps failing me. I should be able to separate my mana into different parts of my body and move it faster and subconsciously.
I first take a deep breath and see if my mana can expand throughout my body evenly. It doesn’t quite make it past my knees and elbows, my mana pool not large enough. How do I go about increasing my mana pool? I can minutely tell that it’s increased since I first used it. There's probably isn’t anyone I can ask because everyone is just casting spells and leveling up, gaining stats through skill points.
There’s only one theory I can make up. The more I use my mana up, the denser the pool would become. Mana exhaustion happens because you don’t have any mana in your body, making it harder to function. What if I use almost all of my mana except a tiny sliver and let my mana fill back up. The more it fills back up, the denser the mana becomes. The more my body regenerates mana, the fresher the mana, the faster the process becomes. I know I’ve read that in a novel before but I don’t know if that’s actually applicable.
Sitting in silence for a bit longer, I think of every possible way that I can use my mana and it’s starting to drive me stir crazy. It's like sitting in a car ride and not stretching your legs for hours. My itch and desire to practice is becoming more and more of a problem. How am I gonna be able to get out of here and actually practice using mana where there’s not someone constantly watching me?
I look to my softly breathing brother and gently hold his hand, feeling a small pulse inside of him. Holding his hand close and closing my eyes, I notice a secondary pulse. Focusing deeply inward, I notice that it’s actually mana pulsing as well through him. Although worryingly, it’s a very weak and fragile pulse, skipping a beat or two rather frequently. I break off my mana into a very small portion, my concentration furled in my eyebrows. Sending the mana through my fingers, I gently push it into his, hoping to hit his mana stream. But before the mana makes it to his fingertips, it disappears into space.
A new determined plan forms. Project “Save Lucas”. I’ll strengthen his mana pool and hopefully make him strong enough to wake himself up.
I’ll help you Lucas. But only because I feel it’s not fair that I’m the only one that has to deal with mom. I’ll save you so you can save me.