As I awaken I shoot up, sitting up straight in a cold sweat. Frantically looking around, I realize that I’m not where I am supposed to be. Gone was the dark city, replaced now with a dark bedroom. Home…? I haven’t been here since the promotion. Last I remember, I was on patrol with Watchtower. Something was most certainly not right. Looking down at my hands, both are present. As they always were. Was I always this pale?
On the nightstand next to my bed was a pill bottle. Got my name on it… when was I put on this stuff? Leaning on the stand was my trusty sword that I could never part with. Not even if I really wanted to do that. My head starts to hurt as something feels eerily amiss, like I’ve awakened in some kind of demented alternative world. But everyone knows that isn’t real. The bottle’s upside down. Does that mean I’ve taken it? This system suddenly feels seriously ineffective. I’m dumbfounded. I thought it was a good idea to just put it upside down, like that was supposed to indicate I’ve taken it. I don’t even know what fucking day it is and I’m already suffering.
Looking up at the clock, it says that it’s 7:07 PM. The ticking always got on my nerves. I continue to stare, watching every arm move and following them exactly and counting the seconds. If only I could get rid of this old world bullshit. Unfortunately it isn’t so easy to part with a white elephant. A white elephant from myyyyy… huh. It was definitely one of my family members. All this thinking is starting to hurt my head even more. Tired of trying to recall things beyond me, I turn the pill bottle back right side-up and slowly try to stand, groaning in pain and returning to my previous position.
Wait who the fuck left the lights on in my apartment and why the fuck am I waking up at 7:07 PM when I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve been to this shit hole of a fucking town I grew up in and vowed to never return to except for work in which case I was permitted to return but could not under any other circumstance? Despite every part of my body urging, nay, BEGGING me not to, I stand up slowly, grab my sword leaning against the nightstand and walk to the door, opening it and shouting for any intruders to hear what the fuck I have to say to them.
“Whoever’s here, I recommend you get out now or make yourself known. I’m armed.”
No response. Go figure. I walk down the lit hallway into the living room, a dainty, pale man with what can only be described as some kind of fantasy ass looking dragon horns, a suit, sunglasses despite being inside, and a laptop on his lap sitting on the couch. Not caring much for intruders, I raise my sword and hold it out.
“And who the fuck are you? I don’t take kindly to in-” Getting a decent look at him, I see a pin on his suit that was enough for me to immediately lower my sword and lean it against the wall. The cyan crescent moon. All of a sudden he starts to seem eerily familiar, but as with every memory I’ve tried recalling it eludes me. Knowing my place, I sit down across from him on the couch.
“Look who finally woke up. I’ll just take a bit of your time, I know you’re all too busy these days Miranda.”
Hearing my real name for the first time in years, I feel a little disarmed… it was not only irregular, but extremely frowned upon to use someone’s birth name after being given their new one. I can feel my lips forcing themselves into a frown, something about hearing that name is extremely upsetting to me. Why was he talking like this to me? Was I being discharged? My chest feels like it’s swelling, ever expanding with dread. Just as I feel like I can’t take any more it just begins plain hurting. Why does such a simple thing have so much power over me?
“Right… on with it then.” It was all I was able to choke out, it felt like my heart may even explode.
“Last you recall you were with Watchtower on patrol, correct?” He says flatly, like all semblance of emotion or compassion have left him long ago.
“... correct.”
Not letting me see, he types something into the laptop. I can’t tell where he’s looking. It’s pissing me off.
“Do you know how much time has passed since then?”
“No.”
“What was the last thing you remember seeing?”
That was a good question. Lemme think.
“I was impaled. Something was happening… to my sword I mean-”
Not being able to even finish what I was saying, the man butts in.
“You lost control. You know that, right?”
“I don’t know what happened. The restrictions, they turned off on their own. I didn’t do anything and they started turning off.”
“Yet only you can turn them off.”
“Well-”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Suddenly going back to completely ignoring me, the other agent just starts vigorously typing on his laptop again. The keys sound grating. My head starts throbbing on top of everything else that was already happening to my body. It felt like it was falling apart, barely held together at the seams by something that was entirely beyond me. Things get foggy and I lose all focus. It must have been a long time that I had zoned out, I can feel him put his hand on me. Instantly coming back I smack his hand away, reaching to adjust glasses I don’t have on my face.
“We need to get these questions done. I just need you to hold on a little bit longer, alright? I’m sorry for being here, I know you want me gone. I don’t want to be here either.” His voice started to sound a little sympathetic, like he had some kind of understanding that I didn’t. Like I was the only one that didn’t know something and everyone around me had to act like I’m stupid and keep it a secret. Funny thing. I don’t like secrets.
“Hurry up and ask. I don’t feel good and I want to go back to sleep.”
I feel like throwing up. Was it the pills? It had to be, I felt fine before. But why am I even on them? Was it the accident? It must not have been too bad, considering I’m sitting here now in not so much as a cast or a crutch.
“Do you know why your sword had started unrestricting itself?”
“There’s no way that’s what’s happening. It isn’t some kind of person that can use enchantments. It’s an object that is enchanted. This is basic stuff.”
“Right, so it was you.”
I quickly grew tired of this man’s games. First it was the name. Now it’s accusations. There’s no way it was me, I was barely conscious. Without even thinking and even surprising myself a little bit I quickly get up and try to punch him. Not very surprisingly considering his position, he catches my fist in his hand. A terribly griefed face is all that I’m met with for what feels like an eternity. Just standing there, looking down at him. Disappointment on a stranger’s face.
“You know you got Watchtower in trouble. He’s out on leave now. His career might be over.”
Hearing his name only pissed me off more, I’ll be damned if they try bringing him into this. Only getting angrier I tried punching him with my other hand and suddenly I was sitting back down in the same spot that I had been in. The only part of me that can move is my head… but something urges me not to scream as loud as I can.
“Do you have any idea how you’ve been affecting everyone around you? You knew that taking that sword you were in this for life, and the kind of responsibility it entailed. Yet here you are, sitting like a fucking brat trying to punch someone because they’re saying the exact truth. I’m glad that I didn’t allow Watchtower to come here, because it’s exactly as I was expecting. You’d have broken his heart after everything else you’ve done to him. And now you’re even derailing my interrogation and making me rant. It’s like you’ve got a superpower or something. All you’ve done with that damn thing is cause chaos and not caring who it is that you hurt. Do you even remember me? You seem like you’ve really been deteriorating. It’s making me sick seeing you.”
.
.
.
His words were finally enough to shut me up. I barely remember who I was. Clearly I was supposed to remember him, but the more I tried I just lost focus. My mood, this place, everything going on… it wasn’t supposed to be happening. I must have really messed up for a situation like this to happen, but even what I did has begun to escape me. With nothing to say I just stare at him. He takes his glasses off and I almost feel like I recognize something in his beautiful eyes. His name slips out of my grasp and tears start rolling down my face. My voice catches in my throat and my eyes start to burn. I just want to go back to sleep. None of this is fair. None of it feels right. It feels like I’d be better off dead than dealing with something I can’t even remember.
Realizing what he’s done, the man sighs and sets his laptop aside. He looks around awkwardly for a moment, seeming like he was holding back something that he really ought to keep to himself. With a deep sigh he hugs me, holding me for several seconds before pulling away.
“Maybe it’s best if you don’t remember me. I’m sorry. You don’t seem to know anything else, it’s probably best if I just leave and we call it a night.”
He starts trying to let go and get up, but I hold him in place. It felt for some reason like the last time I may ever see him, like this moment was fleeting and I may never get it back. Whoever this was, I felt the urge to hold on to him and not let him go. Like sand slipping through my fingers…
“Just a little while longer, please…”
His face started to look a bit red, as he started to look almost as upset as I did. Seemed he was a lot better at keeping it to himself though. He patted my back and after giving me a few more moments he pried himself from my arms.
“It’s time this ended. Have a good night, Miranda. Please go back to sleep. Thank you.”
As he walked out the door, I couldn’t help but fall to my knees and cry my whole heart out. I have no idea why, it was basically as if I had just met him. Something suddenly attached me to him so greatly though, and now that he was gone it was like I couldn’t live without. It felt like I heard my real name for the last time. After crying for probably ten minutes, the exhaustion hits me again. It feels like the world is fading away. Tired old noise playing in my ears ad infinitum. I get up and turn off my lights, starting to make my way towards bed. The sword gets left leaning against the wall, I don’t even have enough energy to care enough at this point. It’s fine where it is.
Everything but the thought of bed is vacant from my mind. As I get into it and close my eyes, the world fades to black. The worries of the world are gone. I don’t think about my job, I don’t think about my colleagues, and the man who I spoke with is nowhere to be found in my mind. Suddenly everything feels so much more fine than it ever was. For good measure, I even take the pills just in case. Wouldn’t want to miss a dosage.
I.
Fall.
Asleep.