I'm trapped in a cage of my own making.

And I'm dying.

Slowly.

And I don't know what I can do to stop it.

Every cell of my being is being burnt away in this self-immolisation, this agonizing suicide.

So slow.

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I can't escape it.

I don't know how.

Just make an effort to change, they all say, and I've spent countless hours, days, weeks on trying to improve myself.

I'm dying so slowly.

I can make this work. I can make this work. I can save myself.

But it's so... agonizing. I keep wanting to distract myself from my pain, but if I do that I stop remembering that I am in in pain. Then I'll burn up before I can stop it.

A delicate balance?

I keep feeling like it's too late, but I'm too stubborn to accept it.

The best time was then. The next best time is right now.

It's already too late for a lot of things, but I can start doing things now.

The pain means that I'm still alive.

This... indescribable pain.