"Where do i begin?" I say. So many things had happened, so much shit.

"i don't know what you mean man," Mike says innocently from across the room, a chicken in his lap. I just stare at him, honestly just speechless at how he even thought trying to play guiltless in all this was an option.

"I swear to god dude," i take a deep breath trying to calm down. I look around in the room, three chickens in all. The room was totalled. Gone. The sofa was half way out the smashed window, the table had been flipped, and the vase broken with a puddle of water and flowers around it. A fairly expensive painting i had bought at auction for really cheap was ripped through the middle, and "someone" had drawn a big fat cock on it, which was honestly WAY too well drawn. The door out of the room was blocked with a chair, and Cheryl. She lay awkwardly across it, and somehow slept, snoring a whole storm.

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I looked back at Mike. I took another deep breath, closed my eyes for a few seconds, then opened them again.

"You massive fucking IDIOT!" I yell it so loud Cheryl grunted from her seat at the door, but she doesn't wake up. Mike squints at me. The chicken on his lap seem just as scared, and as if from some stupid sitcom, it lays an egg, right there, on Mike's lap. He stares incredulously at the egg. He looks up at me with an amazed expression.

"yo, do you see this? the chicken just..."

"... I SAW WHAT THE CHICKEN DID!" I yell at him, and my head hurts with exhaustion. Cheryl moves from over on her chair once again, and seems to actually wake up. She looks over at us, and shortly around the room.

"Would you guys shut up? I'm trying to sleep." I stare at her with a mixed feeling of hatred and equal parts amazement. How, just how the hell do you give so little shits about... anything. Mike is still busy with the egg, holding it up in the light from the window, and the chicken is circling him to make sure he isn't up to anything funny. "keep an eye on him," i think to myself as i get up from the corner of the room.