Fuck, I forgot about the fucking Profession again.
I cursed myself, and damn near slammed my Wakizashi’s down in frustration, had there not been a massive group of humans everywhere around me. Immediately, my anger faded, replaced with bewilderment at the scene I was dropped into.
It was big, as in an endlessly big structure. I had no idea how much space this massive outdoor battle arena occupied, it appeared infinite. The sky was filled with stars and constellations I’d never seen, and I swore they were moving, but not in an orbiting way, but with intent. All around what seemed like thousands of us, probably more, was the strangest biome I’d ever seen. It’s like every few hundred yards, it changed drastically. One fighting area was surrounded by plant life I’d never seen before.
Flowers with teeth and appendages, trees with faces screeching an ungodly noise radiating a green mist from their multi-colored bark, insects the size of apples with all kinds of fluorescent colors replicating the plant life it apparently inhabited. They even appeared to nestle together in lines, like fans watching a football game. Even weird humanoid looking…bushes? It was hard to explain, but the broccoli people seemed enthralled with the match already underway. It confused me, how I was so late to the party here. It seemed to me people have been waiting for a while to do…something, as when I arrived most faces look restless.
Not far from this battleground stood another, completely engulfed in magma and molten rock all around. Giant slugs could be seen climbing a volcano that was absurdly out of place in this climate. The fire slugs were shooting molten lava rocks from I assumed their ass, and consumed my attention all the way until the short guy getting his head lopped off by the blonde woman he was fighting took precedence. She had to be fast, because I never saw her damn arm move. Then again, they’re about a mile out, and while my perception is already admittedly far keener now that these stats changed how my eyes seemed to feel and function, I couldn’t make out more than hair color and sex based on their shapes.
I started shuffling through the crowd, trying to make my way further down a path, one of many, to get a view on some more fights in different arenas. Maybe they have one that was water themed.
How silly, of course they did, I’m sure that affinity is plenty popular.
While freeing myself from the crowd of, frankly dead-faced folks, I internalized my disapproval for their clambering about how unfair this whole thing was. Or the occasional ‘this isn’t real, this isn’t real.’
Pussies.
I dismissed my judgement as quickly as it arose, because honestly, who the fuck was I? What normal human being enjoyed getting fucked up for the sake of getting better at fucking other people up? Honestly, plenty, but to expect that feeling here was unfair. People were entitled to live however they saw fit. That may be different now, but it can’t be because of me.
I was freed of the group, but before I could get a move on towards the fiery death pit to talk to its newest victor currently strolling her way out of the arena after teleporting right outside of it, a hologram of a woman jumped in front of me.
Hello, welcome to the Proving Grounds. Here, you will be fighting your peers from your plan-
I peered around it just in time to see her go at the furthest depths my perception allowed me to see clearly. It was weird, I was a bit closer, and could tell her clothes were spotless. She was surrounded by all that fire, in the literal heat of battle, and not a scratch on. Part of me wondered if I’d be single right now if we’d met before all this cause, damn.
My focus reshifted to the hologram midway through her rambling.
-member there‘s no room for error, and any fatal blow will result in an immediate loss and disqualification from the tournament. Fight well, human, the multiverse is watching!
The hologram was especially chipper with that last line, but I had no clue what she meant by that.
‘The multiverse is watching’?
Maybe I should’ve listened, but, frankly I couldn’t find any button or laser I passed over to trigger this thing. Come to think of it, there weren’t any lenses anywhere either. It was all just a bland marble floor, only to be beautifully berated by the colorful designs that correlated with every arena. It may have been half baked, but whatever being that created this place, they knew what they were doing. A tinge of fear crept into my mind, and I promptly washed it away with logic.
They made this for us, for you, why waste this effort to just kill you after?
My fear subsided just in time, as I approached the magma spouting arena, I saw a familiar shape on the battlefield.
No fucking way.
Korbin clearly selected medium armor, which made sense considering he was stronger than me by a wide margin, and well…faster. The guy trained me, so I know it should be a given he’s better, but holy fuck dude. I know rationality from not, and his speed pissed me off far more than his strength and knowledge.
Anyways, he had this short sword that resembled that of a Spartans I’d seen in a movie. Crazy good movie, but bad leadership if you ask me. Didn’t even think, just said ‘hey, YOU, army that outnumbers us 100:1, eat dicks let’s fight’. I don’t know, didn’t feel tactically sound, or sound of mind for that matter, but they were great warriors nonetheless.
He was faced off with a rather tall and brick-built opponent but, that probably had little effect on Korbin. He was barely sub 6-foot, but a lot of ego pricks over 6-foot like to fight. I, being among that troop, and he had rather recent practice with a taller opponent.
Figuring I arrived early based on both of them looking in decent shape. The other guy had long, black hair, and a well kept 5 o’clock shadow, if that makes sense. It was like intentional mediocrity.
Half cocked kempt, yeah, that’s it.
Anyways, so the idiot had a sword and shield, and he went straight for a shield bash.
Oh just GIVE him the win.
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Korbin handedly side stepped using his lead foot to get around the outside of the charging baboon’s leg, around the shield hand, and slid across the face of the shield before the guy could make direct contact. All the while digging his sword into the man’s rib cage from the back behind the shield hand, apparently twisting the hilt with his wrist and arm to use the guy’s body as an anchor point to swing around to get his back. From there, it was a simple unsheathing from the poor sap’s side and a slice across his jugular, and the man dropped, dying, then disappeared.
With that, Korbin turned, and was immediately teleported out of the arena, right in front of me.
“F-fuck?!”
Yeah, I jumped, you have someone teleport 60 yards to you from a stand still and walk away stoic, I dare you.
Equally taken aback, he readied his sword again before recognizing me.
“You chose light armor? You fucking idiot.”
“Good to see you too asshat, what’s up with the teleporting and merciless murder?”
Korbin wouldn’t drop it.
“No, seriously, you’re a dipshit. Why did you pick light armor?”
Oh, oh you’re serious right now?
”I’m a rogue, I figured this befitted my strengths to optimize movement.” I said, confidently. Clearly he assumed me a warrior or el-
“What’s your strength stat?”
“Uhh…12, why?” Korbin slapped his face and looked up at the sky, as if to beg whatever godlike- being running this for patience in this moment. For what, well, he put it bluntly.
“Mine is 18, Tom. Did you hear the average? You don’t think you couldn’t muster the man power to move medium fucking armo- matter of fact, try this on.”
Korbin frustratedly began removing his many straps, rather swiftly at that.
“No I get your poi-“
“No no, no you’re gonna. Just give me a sec, take that bullshit off.”
I reluctantly stripped my light armor, and as we exchanged, I got it.
Fuck, this shit is weightless.
I mean, fuck dude how could I know? I didn’t get too…
“How they fit Tom?”
“…pretty good, weightless even.”
“Mhm, when the weird suit manikin brought out the armor, did you try them on, Tom?”
I shrank, probably visibly but definitely internally.
No fucking way, again.
“Yeaaah you didn’t. I bet you checked every SINGLE weapon he sprawled out in front of you too, huh?”
At this point, I waved my white flag four sentences ago, I just realized it now.
“Yeah, yeah I did.”
“Tsk tsk tsk tsk, well, give me my armor back. I’m not wearing this wet napkin when big rewards are at stake.”
I already began unlatching the straps when I perked up at that last part.
“A reward? What kind?”
“Dude, did you even fucking listen to the Hologram when you got here?”
Now, this is usually when I admit I was drooling over a blonde with a clear mean streak, but I had held far too many L’s in one sitting for my liking.
“What exactly do you mean by rewards, Korbin? This is really not the day man just tell me.”
Shot in the dark.
“Fuck you.”
Fair.
“Alright, fine, I was checking out one of the fighters. She was bad as hell okay, what do you want from me?!”
“…The blonde? That checks out, stop thinking with your dick though, Gods are watching.”
Oh, right. ‘Monkey show’. That’s why we’re having fun.
“Yeah, sure, some pompous old fucks are going to bestow a great blessing upon us. Think it out man, let’s just get a feel for where we stand on Earth now, and assert that role accordingly to better ourselves. It’s clearly formulaic now.”
I felt justified, but Korbin felt otherwise.
“I’m gonna stop you there, you have no clue how to level, and I know that cause I know we can’t level here. That’s cheating I guess, but if a God likes you, they’ll give you some shit you can use for YES amount of time. I’m rolling those dice, besides, it’s fun! Enjoy yourself a little.”
Finally, we did agree on this part of it all. I truly was brain dead to what was going on, I just knew the clear path was probably through training to get stronger. Worked before, but I suppose it’s a ’we’ll see’ matter for now.
“Listen, Tom, I saw a nice little water style battleground down the way, let’s get you penciled in for a fight before that tournament closes up, huh? It’s just down that way.” Korbin said, while pointing down the direction I was already headed before his act of blatant slaughter distracted me.
“Finally, something I like, I’ll see you around. And, good luck man.” I reached my hand out for a handshake. Not a business one, we’re not 50.
“Yeah man, you too. Stay patient, don’t forget your training. Don’t get too excited out there champ.” He said, while finishing our handshake. With that, my steps hastened toward my preferred domain for fighting, and I was already way, way too excited.
Day 0: As Expected
The first fight had been…hilarious. The guy chose a Spear, and while the dude looked strong, standing at a burly 6’6, probably 260 pounds off the eye test, his smug face screamed idiot.
“Really? This fuckin’ pipsqueak? Ha, round one, what a joke.” The bozo chuckled to air while thrusting his open palm towards the sky, and proceeded to just run up and lob his spear at me like a baseball, lifting his lead leg like it was the bottom of the 9th. I really hadn’t had the time to work up some frustration yet, so I sort’ve chuckled at the sight of this burly man trying to get a move on. I water stepped to the side just like, kind of, and it flew right by, probably already missing based on its trajectory.
Water stepping was no skill, at least not a system one, but one vital to my fighting style. It’s one I’d been crafting before all of this, it was the core move to my striking power, movement, Flow, it was the key that unlocked all my favorite moves. Above all it held a myriad of options with it, and I strived to learn and utilize them all.
After looking back into the man’s deep brown eyes, I saw fear. Unequivocal, unadulterated, pure regret. I didn’t know how to feel at first, I enjoyed knowing what was to come. Though I hadn’t anticipated he’d know the implications so soon, given how fucking dumb that first move was.
I simply water stepped to the big idiot at a quicker speed I’d displayed, by a lot, but that says little of the prior. Dude threw fast but not accurately, indicating he’s clearly some meathead who thought they’d win every fight with one power move. This made when I twisted my rear foot to my hips, using my inside hand to literally disarm him, as in take his arm off with a sweeping outward motion, striking in a stabbing fashion with my rear hand Wakizashi that pierced his solar plexus and protruding out his spine a little, feel all the more satisfactory.
Easy, clean, and he went home quickly, outside of the screaming and spurting blood from his armless shoulder everywhere on me, invoking involuntary dry heaves out of me.
Other than that, it felt like I was in for a real treat here.
I was wrong, but that was expected.
See, I learned quickly never to underestimate an opponent, which was probably why the first guy’s attempt at an attack seemed so extra measly. When entering a state I learned as ‘Flow’ I noticed things slowed down. This was, again, pre-global kidnapping, and I figured it would carry over. I just had to find it, it was a state of motion that was…always hard to put into words before.
It was more than that now. It felt so vivid, like Flow was more tangible, especially when fights got tougher. Similar to the chair from the white room, but in the air. Or, whatever was around me, as sometimes after meditation, I saw delayed afterimages of blue colors behind my movements.
Truly, truly wish I brought my weed with me right now.
By the third fight, folks began feeling qualified for their placement here. This guy, around six foot, probably 250, had chosen a halberd, and I was immediately stressed.
Shit, if he knows anything about that weapon, I’m hard-countered.
Duel-wielding swords was great against swords and shields. Most weapon combos honestly. But halberd? They won almost every time. It was too much weight to glance blows off of, and its polearm characteristics made dodging impossible within striking range. A reason why certain warriors of olden times were revered with such respect. I did not want to lose so soon, I wanted to meditate more between rounds while being surrounded by the sheer serenity this biome let out.
The sounds of crashing water, what looked like mermaids, I think, fish people for sure were just watching in silent curiosity. What’s crazier was, there were many waves crashing all around, but literally ALL around the arena. It hovered in the air, flying around without ever contacting what it appeared to not wish to clash with, but happily rolled over certain overhanging objects like rock formations.
It felt like I could sense when it drew nearer. Meditation amplified this feeling, it was like being literally connected to some spirit within the water. Or of the water. There was little time to ponder conceptual semantics, as I was faced with my strongest opponent yet, and it showed in his prowess. They clearly knew what they were doing, readying their weapon in a semi bladed stance, not moving until I did.
Fucker, he did his homework.
I won the last two fights countering the opponents moves, and with deadly outcomes each time.
It was my style after all, defense is just aggressive countering, where someone attacked meant somewhere else they left a gap, and water always finds its path. Even if it occasionally has to make one, like with the second fight. Asshole chose sword and shield, then proceeded to hide indefinitely behind his shield.
I had to bait him to attack first. The first one caught me off guard because, my god, it was awful. It was like his shoulder broke, but he still wanted to fling his sword at me anyways. I simply dodged the first, the second I parried with one Wakizashi above me, and angled it so the hit slid downward from my head, safely away from my shoulder. With these, I had to move my blade with the attack to make sure it missed my shoulder, but it was no trouble surprisingly.
As I did this, I jammed the second Wakizashi into his neck, invoking a massive initial burst of blood gushing out and filling his throat as he gurgled, grasping the wound rather panicked. From there, it was teleport and meditation time.
Now, after water-stepping forward at a speed that had proven tried and true to this point, except for this guy to swing at a downward angle way faster than he ought to be able to with that thing, I knew this wasn’t going to be such a smooth path to follow back to my meditation station.