It has been 673 years and 117 days since he got the job, but he couldn’t get used to it. Sleeping was not necessary for a god to deal with their daily basis, but he preferred it over than watching as the whole continent did so. At night there was little to no action for him to observe. Crime, murder, theft brought little to no joy for him and there were other gods to deal with tease anyway. On the other hand, sleeping also had its own disadvantages sometimes, let’s say bedtime accidents. Like this one.

The last Z’s popped and the flames come back, this was the normal way he usually woke up. But not today.

He slowly regained his consciousness just to observe, that his body was replaying the well-known historical event the final battle of the Vaxolal underkeep where over twenty-one-thousand soldier took part, but instead of the historically accurate races, they were replaced by furniture.

The chairs stood their ground in front of the tables last castle, they formed a defence line with their joined backrests where the three bridges met until the tables retreated. The tables climbed over their own walls to regroup and to know their stool children in a safe place. But the doors were already on their way wearing their powerful lacquer and riding their bed mounts equipped with impenetrable fluffy bedsheets and in the distance, the dreadful war cries of wardrobes could be heard. If the wardrobes reach the wall, the castle would surely fall. It already seemed as a losing battle for the alliance of the kitchen, when the worst happened that crushed their will.

“STOP” he shouted at his own body and the scene froze. “It will be one of those days, isn’t it?” The underground castle, the bridges and soldiers slowly collapsed into a black slimy material and flown towards the centre of him.

“Rex is next if I remember correctly.” He said while waited for his body to be ready. “I wonder what he will be, that he was sent to me. An ancient being who is too stubborn, or a cultist of mine, maybe one of those mechanical people.” He was ready and his flames reappeared. “Alright Rex, come to papa.”

“Woof!” said his guest as he stared at him.

“A dog? Rex, the dog.” It didn’t make sense, why would a dog be here. Every living’s souls in this world went to Mourteen.

“Woof!”

“Alright, alright. Just let the dice fall and be on your way.” He tried to place the dice on the dog.

“Grrr!” Rex dodged it.

“Oh, you.“ It wasn’t working he had to change strategy. The dice slowly deformed into a rounder shape and he gave it a reddish colour. “How about a ball? You want the ball?” He waved the dice in his hand showing to Rex.

“Woof-woof.” He wagged his tail and lean a little forward.

“Fetch!”

Rex ran as fast as he could, jumped and caught the ball in mid-air. Then since he was a good boy started to return it to the thrower.

The plan is simple when he tries to give me the ball I will just let it fall through me, he thought.

“Good boy! Wanna do It again? Wanna?” He asked Rex, who was all excited and couldn’t stay still.

He crouched and reached towards the ball, but Rex looked away with the ball in his mouth.

“What do you mean throw the ball?” He heard Rex’s intentions. He reached again and Rex turned away again. ‘Don’t take, only throw’. “But how I suppose to throw it when you don’t give it to me?”

It took a little while, before he came up with a plan. He conjured and other ball-shaped dice and started over.

“Hey, Rex. Wanna catch the ball? Do you want the ball?” ‘Ball, ball, ball!’

“Then fetch!” He threw the ball and watch as his geniuses outsmarted the dog. He already watched his scroll of names when Rex reached down for the ball, turned and run back.

“Miss Snowy” Typical ice mage name among humans. He was about to act when he saw Rex returned with two dices in his mouth.

“No. Fucking. Way…” He was stunned. How is he going to deal with him now? He had two dices and he was only supposed to throw one. ONE. His flames disappeared he already could hear the yearlong speech from Merlaw about how unjust this is, since everybody could only throw one dice. He had to act and do it quickly.

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“Rex. Stay and don’t move.” Behind Rex a grand door started to take form. A door made of marble and black granite which looked old as time itself. The engravings represented a pair of a child facing each other and holding life between them.

“How about a walk in a ‘park’.” He had Rex’s attention again. Rex was having the day of his life as he followed him. The door was serval times larger than both of them and deep stone grinding could be heard as it opened before them.

Valleys as far as the eyes could see, with evergreening grass decorated here and there sparely scattered marble statue bases with checked black and white pattern on top.

“Valita, Mourteen!” He shouted.

I didn’t take long before a pair of small young elflike sisters one black, one white appeared before them, wearing nothing else than their colourful nightgown which was coved with cute symbols and animals. They were rubbing their eyes in sync.

“Yes, Bob?” They said it in union.

“I brought you someone who wants to play. Right, Rex.” He didn’t have time to finish Rex couldn’t keep himself he had so much fun. Rex’s launched himself and jumped on Mourteen and pushing her to the ground.

“Ah! Stop, stop.” Rex licked all over the laughing Mourteen face, the two dices laid on the grass which gave the mad god relief. It didn’t count as a throw was in another gods domain.

“A doggie!” Valita jumped on top of Rex, while Bob got the dices.

“Have fun girls.” He turned and quickly left their realm before Rex had a second thought.

He closed the giant doors and leaned to it. “I hate my job.” He said and slowly slid down to the ground. “Prepare for your worst Miss Snowy, you have five minutes.”

----------------------------------------

Back in business, he was already over the worst, he almost forgot about the whole Rex thing, everything was in control as it should be. “Alright, Miss it’s your turn.” Another snap of fingers and another guest.

It didn’t take a split second and he wished back the historical fight from the morning. Before him a small, white, fuzzy, well recognizable, cute, adorable, soul-tearing-demanding-nightmare. This was how he described it.

“Meow.” Miss Snowy made her statement clear that she is very real. His flames grown legs and just walked away from him, as far as far they could from the cat.

“Where did I go wrong?” He sat down to his knees while the last blaze left. Miss Snowy the white demon with deep bright blue eyes in domestic-cat form approached him. “Can’t we just talk about it? Just a little dice throws and that’s it.”

‘Oh-hoho. Dear if you want me to throw your meaningless dice than I expect something return.’

“How about I throw the dice on you and if it touches you, we just say you did it.” He tried to get the upper hand even it was clear from the beginning who was the winner.

‘What a pleasant idea. I’m pretty sure Merlaw would be happy to hear it.’ He felt as her eyes pierced through him. ‘Paragraph 3 section 2. Equality in fate is a must.’ How did she know, the question fogged his mind.

“But luck can mess with it” He was familiar with the rules thanks to a certain god.

‘True. So how about this? You gave me the worth of my heritage and more appropriate body within this world and I throw you dice.’

He didn’t find anything wrong with this, she asked for a lot but if he sends her to Mourteen then she would enter the cycle of souls and lose everything. “Deal.” He said it without hesitation and regained some of his confidence.

‘Excellent. Now if you would be so kind and give me an appropriate form. It’s hard to throw dices with paws.’

“Well, of course.” A grin formed on his face.

The changes were fast the little feline quickly grown in size while her limbs reformed and her face restructured itself. Now she was around 5’4” feet and looked like a proper member of the cat folk’s society while she kept her soft white fur and sly look.

“Thank you.” She said it with a smile which gave him a chill for a moment.

“Now comes the dice.” He conjured a dice and Miss Snowy took it. “Would you kindly throw the dice, miss?” He said it with his favourite tone which could haunt most of the living in Neloresh for life.

“What with the hurry?” She looked up from the dice and tightened her grip around it. “I have an important meeting with Valita, since I have 8 more lives to go.”

“What are you talking about?” It didn’t make sense, why would she have more lives it was just an urban legend from another world.

“Be so kind and check it.” If anybody else but a cat told him this, he would have lost it. But it was a cat, and she made him doubt about what he knew.

A scroll appeared and he started to browse it. He found what he was looking for, Miss Snowy’s personal scroll. He couldn’t believe it, she was right. The thought alone destroyed him and he froze as he stood.

“Satisfied?” The smile on her face said it all. I won. “Dear, Would you kindly open the door to Valita. I very have an important meeting.”

He opened the door towards their realm the was not much he could do, but he felt there was something off, the whole picture was missing something. Miss Snowy passed the door.

“The dice!” he screamed. It was too late.

“You mean this meaningless thing. Watch, I shall throw it for you” She dropped the dice. It broke his heart, he felt like the cat’s plaything. The dice were not in his realm when it touched the ground. “Satisfied? Oh and before I forget my heritage, I’m a Persian cat.” The doors slowly closed behind her.

“The Persian empire.” He muttered. It was the last nail in the coffin. He was done for the day after an hour and slowly melted into a puddle.