“Wait, it’s Tuesday?” Ronald covered his dirty, unwashed face with a hand. The young man then continued by thoroughly scratching the lid of his left eye. He only touched the soft lid with the skin of his palm, and not the nails sewed to the hand. Even if the thirty-three-year-old man without a job still lived with his mom at a farm, as well as lacking proper education, he was by no means stupid. Well. That was only his own opinion.
“My sweet lil’ pumpkin~” The heavenly voice of his dear mom barely reached his wax-filled ears.
She was a gorgeous lady. Whilst he was a fat man quite ugly, she had a slim figure and two wonderful peaks hiding underneath the white apron she usually wore. And lastly, curly, golden hair spiraling down from her beautiful face made her complete. The locks followed along her ample mounds all the way to her waist, which was, by the way, the best Ronny had ever seen. If she wasn’t his mom, he’d definitely date her...
“Your lunch is finished, darling!"
Not to lie, little Ronny has never had a girlfriend
According to the man himself it wasn’t because his education was lacking, nor that he never went to school, but because the soon to be middle aged man knew that no matter how long he searched for, Ronny would probably never find someone as beautiful, caring and simply better than his own very mom, but he held hopes at least.
“Hey, Ronny! You’d better come down quick, or I’ll give it to your sister!”
The only bad quality of his mother, if she even had any, is that sometimes she can’t really control herself. Although the anger can't be completely blamed on her character since every fourth week an outburst can occur because of her… you know…ahem, Anyway, to sum it up, most of the blame can be placed on her temper.
“Get down here this instant! I cook you food and you dare to let me wait. How the heck did I raise you! What did you learn in school dummy, to disrespect your mother?”
Ronny shivered from his mom’s voice. From the second floor, the young man let out in a meek voice that sounded out through the gaps between the wooden floorboards, “... but mom, I never went to...?”
“...”
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
“Ronny, eat you damn food before I cut out the internet!”
The man almost collapsed to the floor after hearing his dear mom, who always treated him with care and never yelled at him. The internet… y-you, how could you mom? Why do you always know my weakness?! Sorcery, this is all sorcery! Harry, you’re not a wizard, not a damn wizard! No one is a damn wizard, not even you Harry! Dammit!"
At this moment, Ronny stretched his arms as he gazed at the computer screen with an intense longing. The white screen with a resolution of 1440 x 900, a MacBook air hurt his eyes again, which only made him want to scratch his tired eyes once more. But he resisted the urge and kept looking. The browser revealed a neatly organized website. In the middle, there was a wide, color-filled picture of men and women dressed in almost no clothes, having stone hammers and other weapons from the same materials in their hands. Above the image, a title stood. “Stone Age. Take a step into the past of primal dwelling, and discover the world of our ancestors. Raise your own, unique tribe and battle other users in a fight for supremacy of the lands!"
“This is what I’ve been waiting for!” Ronny’s eyes shone with fire as his whole body shook from excitement.
The young man laughed evilly. "Just you wait, girls– I don't know where you are. I don't know what you like. If you are looking for a rich guy, I can tell you I’m not getting more than my pocket money..."
He puffed his chest up. "...but what I do have a nice thingy between my two legs, along with techniques I’ve acquired by surfing on the internet… techniques that can make me a dream for girls like you!
"If you are uglier than my mother, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will…” stated Ronny loudly as he took forward a dusty copper ring from his drawer. Ronny's fat belly giggled as the man himself rose up from the chair, brought the ring up in the air as if the ring was the friggin new lion king, shouting loudly. "...marry you!"
"SHUT UP RONNY, AND GET DOWN HERE AND EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD!