Joseph’s face became deathly pale upon hearing Ed’s question. Why was he asking about that blight upon him, that crazed stalker Gertrude? Did she finally snap and do something crazy? Joseph’s mouth gaped open, but no sound came out. He nervously shook his head instead.
Ed paused for a moment as he attempted to broach the subject. “Er… uh… kid, do you like Gertrude? She likes you.” A roaring filled Joseph’s mind as he heard the question. Did he like her? Did he like her?! DID HE LIKE HER?! Without thinking he launched into an angry, vengeful tirade. As he did so he almost broke into a yell. “Do I like her?! Are you really asking me whether I like that…that… evil witch?! No! I don’t! I hate her, I hate her more than anyone! I don’t know who you are, but please, leave me alone. I just want to become a good carpenter, find a nice girl. and get married in a few years. Gertrude is not, and will never be, a nice girl. I’m not interested in her. If you can do anything to get Gertrude to stop harassing me I’ll be infinitely thankful.” Tears filled Joseph’s eyes as he finished, his anger burnt through and replaced with exhaustion. He just wanted to be free from Gertrude. If there was any chance he could convince this man to make that happen then he’d be infinitely grateful.
An odd look covered Ed’s face as he looked at Joseph with a look full of deep pity. As the two stared at each other, an annoyed yell could be heard from downstairs. “Quiet down Joseph! You have work to do in the morning.” Startled, Ed put a finger to his mouth, gesturing for Joseph to stay quiet. Joseph nodded and hesitantly got up from his bed, whispering as he approached Ed. “I don’t know who you are, but please, please help me. Whatever she paid you, I’ll double it, triple it even. Just help me. I’ll do anything. Anything.”
Ed sighed as he awkwardly looked away from Joseph. “Kid, she… she only paid me one and a half bits but money’s not really the important thing here. Apparently she’s going to confess her love to you tomorrow and I really, really need you to accept her confession and go out with her. It doesn’t have to be forever, but at least for a while. Sorry.” Joseph gritted his teeth and almost grabbed Ed, but once he remembered the sword at his hip he held himself back. What sort of madness was this- she’d hired a strong-arm for such a paltry sum and was threatening him into going out with her?! What the hell?!
A deep sense of defeat filled Joseph as he stared at Ed. It seemed like he was at a dead end and there was nothing he could do. At least not if he wanted to stay in town. Although even if he ran away there was a worryingly high chance Gertrude would follow him- if she was willing to threaten bodily harm like this, then there was nothing she wasn’t willing to do. Even if Joseph woke up tomorrow with his home on fire and Gertrude standing outside, waiting for him to jump out of the flames and into her arms, he wouldn’t be surprised. Not after this madness.
As Joseph sunk into the depths of despair, he heard something which made him feel just a bit better about the whole ordeal. “...I feel bad for you, so what about this. I’ll owe you a favor for this. Whatever you need, as long as I can do it, I’ll take care of it. Only once though.” “...Even if the favor is to take Gertrude and go somewhere far, far away?” A quiet laugh filled the room as Ed began to leave. “I guess that’s something I can do, but at the same time I can’t. Sorry. Oh… and before I can forget, never mention any of this to Gertrude. Or that favor is null and void.”
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As he finished talking Ed left from the window and disappeared into the night. Joseph glanced out his window and was amazed to find that he was already out of sight, the open window the only evidence left that this wasn’t all some sort of horrible dream.
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Upon waking up Ed double checked that he had the few things he carried on him before attempting to leave the inn and return to the temple. This attempt was intercepted by the innkeeper, whose sizable frame blocked the stairway and Ed’s only path to freedom. Before he could leave he was once again stuffed to the brim with food while listening to comments about how he wasn’t eating enough. It was an odd experience for him, but he didn’t mind it all that much- with how much he’d eaten since getting here, there was a good chance he wouldn’t even have to search for anything else to eat that day. That would leave more time for him to think and stare at the clouds, a pastime which he currently fancied, and which he would engage in until he came up with some answers about… everything that had led up to this point.
The walk home was a peaceful one, and now that his task was over with Ed had the chance to enjoy nature during his short journey. Ashford was a backwater, so there was plenty of it- in fact, there was only ‘nature’ as far as the eye could see. Once he arrived at the temple he curtly answered the spirit’s worried questions about how it went and if he succeeded, slipped into the bare temple, and fell asleep in a corner. He’d forgotten about his wounds for the sake of his task, but he couldn’t do that forever. Even with his strength he needed to rest eventually. Now was a good chance.
More than a day passed with him sleeping like this. In his original line of work there were many times where Ed had to go without rest, sometimes for days at a time, but through that he’d learned something important- rest when you can. Since he had a ‘god’ who needed to make sure he was alive, he needed to take advantage of their protection. The afternoon of the next day Ed was disturbed from his slumber by an uneasy feeling. He immediately unsheathed his sword and began to swing it towards the spot directly in front of him.
After a moment Ed came to his senses. Joseph was standing in front of him, a terrified look on his face and a long, curved sword held up to his neck. Ed, embarrassed, pulled the sword back and sheathed it. “Sorry about that kid, that’s just my instincts. Surprised you got that close to me though, I guess I really was exhausted. Or maybe it’s just the lack of killing intent.” The two stared at each other for a moment before Ed resumed the conversation, realizing that Joseph was still in shock from his near-death experience. “Uh… how’d you find me here anyways? Haven’t had many guests up until now.”
Joseph finally seemed to regain his bearings after Ed loudly repeated his question. “I did as you said and Gertrude seemed…” Joseph paused before continuing, sadness covering his face as he seemed to remember something extremely unpleasant. “...very, very happy. After… things happened, she mentioned that she had prayed that this confession would work at a temple she happened across in the woods. Apparently praying at some sort of holy place had been a ritual of hers before each of her confessions to me, but this was the first time her prayer worked. When I tried to find you, someone who saw you mentioned that you came from the same direction as that temple, so I thought that you might’ve been staying here.” “I see. Well, you weren’t wrong. So what’d you need? Or were you just curious?” Joseph hesitated before bowing slightly. Words rushed out of his mouth like a torrent as he spoke, seeming to have overcome some sort of mental barrier. “About that favor, I want you to teach me how to use the sword! I want to be strong!”
“No.”