Chapter 31: Doubt

Needless to say, Adriana was kicked out of the arena. Markus threatened to take the cost out of replacing Penny through forced labor, but Iris distracted him and Tobias helped her slip away. Once they could no longer hear Markus shouting for her to come back, Adriana burst out laughing.

“What the hell was that for?” Tobias demanded. “That was like the one and only rule, and you broke it! What were you thinking?”

Adriana shrugged. “I was thinking that being locked in a cage, only to be brought out to be tormented sounds like a shitty life. Whoever Penny was, I hope she’s at peace in Calix’s care.”

The two Children of Stephanos shared a look. “I guess it’s a noble thought,” said Iris hesitantly. “But you should probably avoid trouble, shouldn’t you? I see what you’ve done here, but they might tell the Hierophant…”

“Ugh.” She rolled her eyes. “Are you two really that afraid of the Hierophant? I’m not going to suddenly become a different person just because there’s some uppity priest who thinks his opinion on my life matters.”

Tobias laughed, but it was a nervous one. “Really? After the talk earlier? Look, it’s been a long day, and we can probably brush this under the rug because of it. But could you do me a favor and just…keep your eyes open and give us and our ways an honest try.”

So far, that sounded about as appealing walking up to Synto and asking him to bonk her over the head. It was still early, and maybe time would change Adriana’s mind, but they were off to a rough start. Between Eva’s attitude, their promises of hunting her down, and Penny the pig-woman, there was little to be impressed at.

“Fine,” she said. “Am I free to walk around, or do I need an escort at all times?”

Tobias grimaced, but Iris didn’t seem to notice the edge in her voice and spoke up. “You can walk around! Maybe stay on this side of the mountain for now, but there’s plenty of good stuff. If you want to get a snack or get something, just tell them to put it on my tab. You want some ice cream?”

“Maybe later,” said Adriana. “For now, I just want to take a walk and clear my head, you know? I have a lot to think about, and I need to check on Davos.” She didn’t wait to say goodbye or see their reaction. She walked off, back to the center of the plateau, where she had last seen Davos.

The people of the outpost left her alone. Although they checked who came through their doors, the plateau was mostly open to the public and the only thing that set her apart was her Godmark. At this point, she hardly noticed the flames along her hands and one side of her hair. It wasn’t like there weren’t others here just as odd. She counted five people with obvious signs of Bestia, and who knew how many others were just more subtle about it.

She wandered around aimlessly, grateful to just move her body without the threat of impending death. At one point she walked up to a barrel-chested smith hammering a sword piece into the proper shape. He looked up, grunted, and returned to his work.

Watching him made Adriana wonder what life would’ve been like if she had something close to a stable childhood. It wasn’t the first time she’d wondered, but this time it went past just thinking about a world where her parents hadn’t been killed, and went on to the idea of her learning a craft or trade, or being just another person on the plateau, not concerned with seeking power or fighting. A good craftsman could earn Divinity if they reached a certain level of quality, and if they had Builder Divinity, they could double or triple their output.

Like usual, the thoughts burned themselves into ashes as her imagination failed to give her anything. It was pointless, she decided, to try to compare yourself to a nonexistent possibility. The world was what it was, and nearly twenty years of the Maw’s assault on humanity had left plenty of people without families or homes. All the more reason for her to get stronger and do something about it.

“You looking to buy something?” the smith asked after twenty minutes had passed.

“Probably not,” said Adriana. “But you do good work. It’s already beautiful.”

The smith snorted, making his dark mustache bounce. “Keeps my belly full, at least. What more can you ask for?”

Adriana chuckled and left. What more could she ask for? The world, for a start. It wasn’t enough to be comfortable. Her parents had been comfortable, and it had gotten them killed. With her mood turning dark, she headed back to the main compound and asked after Cora. Next stop was the great hall, where the first round of dinner had been served.

Tobias had warned her that they served meals every three hours, to better serve the population of Mykarkos who lived and worked on the plateau. The island never slept, and neither did the kitchen. It was still early, so only about a third of the hall was full. Davos and Cora were in a little corner tucked away, oblivious to the world around them.

Cora had her headwrap off and her dark hair was pulled back into a long, simple braid. She was on the round side, and had a pretty, animated face as she said something Adriana couldn’t hear over the dull murmur in the air. She sat down next to Davos in time to catch the end of a story.

“...and so, that’s the last time I have ever said yes to a fast man with a boat.”

“That does sound reasonable,” said Davos with a nod. “But what if you didn’t do it right, and need a new last time to make it stick? Oh, hey Adriana.” He pretended to have just noticed her, grinning like a fool.

“Hi,” Adriana grumbled. She kept her eyes on Cora, not sure what to think about any of them yet, let alone the woman Davos had latched onto.

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“Did you enjoy your new Divinity?” Cora asked, ignoring Davos. “Tobias is a generous kid, when he wants to be.”

Adriana chuckled morosely. “I tried to enjoy it, but apparently the arena frowns upon killing the monsters. Whoops.”

Cora grimaced, but Davos groaned, “Are we going to be in trouble or have to cut and run?”

“I’ll take care of things,” said Cora. “I know Markus, and he owes me a favor. Don’t worry about it, sweetie.”

Adriana flushed. “I wasn’t worried. And don’t call me sweetie.”

Cora arched a delicate brow. “You don’t have to try so hard to be tough, you know. It’s clear you are, and you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to prove yourself to everyone.”

“Don’t I, though? Apparently if I am found wanting, this Hierophant is going to order you all to kill me and take my Divinity.” She didn’t bother to hide her bitterness.

Davos pushed around fish on his wooden plate. He dropped the fork and sighed. “Adriana, would you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Put yourself in someone else's shoes for a change. Imagine you are the head of one of the largest churches in the archipelago. You’re directly responsible for a hundred thousand or more lives and their safety. Your God dies, and the Divinity they used to fight the Maw goes to a savage, bloodthirsty child. What would you do? Remember, you’re not just thinking of yourself here.”

Of course, Adriana went from annoyed to angry in three seconds. “Fuck you, Davos,” she said loud enough to silence those around them. She didn’t like the way they looked at her. In a lower voice, she continued, “If I’m a bloodthirsty savage, it’s because it’s a bloodthirsty, savage world. I’m just trying to get by and not let people push me around.”

“Is that all the world is to you?” Davos demanded. “You’re either pushed around or pushing others around? What about joy? What about fun? You’re too young to be this serious and this single-minded. Take a day off or two and just relax. Stop fighting people and just talk. Or better yet, listen.”

Adriana opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. Davos had this irritating way of getting under her skin and making her think, and it was always embarrassing when she found herself speechless. There were a million sharp retorts she could lash out with, but he had a point. Where was her joy, outside of the fight? Tobias and Iris seemed happy enough, even though they had a leash around their necks.

“Hey,” said Cora. “I know you don’t know me and don’t have any reason to like or trust me, but I have advice, if you’re willing to listen. Really simple stuff. May I?”

Adriana grunted noncommittally.

“Get yourself some food, maybe some wine, and go to the roof.” Cora pointed, and Adriana followed her gaze to a side passage with stairs leading up. “Not many people go up there, and the stars are gorgeous this time of year. Take some time to yourself, and enjoy the quiet. Think about what you want out of life, but it has to be completely unrelated to becoming a God.”

“Fine. But only because I’m sick of everybody and I want to be alone,” said Adriana.

Cora shrugged. “Whatever works for you.”

So Adriana went up to the counter and got herself a big bowl of rice and smoked pork, with peppers, onions, and a tangy tomato paste mixed in. The woman serving the counter had been happy to give her a full wineskin when she mentioned Cora. She went up the stairs, and then three more until the door opened up to the roof, and the new night sky. Unfortunately, it was occupied.

Lucas and Eva sat with their legs dangling off the edge, staring up. Before she had a chance to slip backwards, Eva looked over her shoulder. Once she saw who it was, her lip curled in distaste.

“You keep making faces like that, you’re gonna get stuck with that expression,” Adriana said.

Lucas took a deep breath. “Eva, would you give us some time alone?”

“No need,” said Adriana. “I was just leaving.”

Eva scoffed and slipped off the edge of the roof. She flew off elsewhere, Adriana didn’t care where. Lucas motioned with his hand for her to come over. She thought about just leaving rather than doing what she was told, but curiosity won out.

“You want to talk to me about something?” she asked before shoveling a bite of her rice dish into her mouth. Her legs dangled over the side.

“I do. I wanted to thank you, actually.” Lucas leaned back, looking up at the stars. “Iris told me what you did earlier.”

“Great,” said Adriana. “I’m going to catch no end of shit for it.”

“Would you just listen?” For the first time, Lucas seemed genuinely annoyed. “I think you did the right thing. If I had my way, we wouldn’t keep any of the monsters in there for longer than a month or two before we kill them and maybe recycle their Bestia when we get it. Just because we need to stay sharp and expand our skills doesn’t mean we need to be cruel. So, thank you. Are you going to fight me on that, now?”

Adriana thought about it. “Naw,” she said. “Too hungry and argued out to bother. Why? You want a fight? We could go at it in the Arena and leave the monsters out of it.”

Lucas’ lips twitched. “We could, but I wouldn’t want to embarrass you. It’s clear you’re a prideful warrior, and losing, let alone in front of an audience, would be horrible. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Oh, is that right?” Adriana elbowed him in the side. “I’ll take you on. Maybe if I beat your ass in front of everyone, I can be head of the team. And I’ll prove that I’m a good enough warrior to keep my Divinity.”

He fell silent for nearly a minute. Just when Adriana’s guts twisted themselves into knots, he said, “I want you to keep your Divinity, for what it’s worth. And if you work with me, I will do everything in my power to make sure it happens. You don’t seem like a bad person. No worse than most, at least.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I mean it! You want to kill monsters and make the world a safer place, don’t you? You’re rough around the edges, but so was Tobias. So is Eva.” Lucas brought his own wineskin to his lips and took a drink. “I think that the six of us together could possibly form the strongest team of Demigods and heroes in the world. Only Gods and titans would be able to pose a challenge.”

The idea had its appeal, but she still didn’t want to commit to anything. She studied Lucas, enjoying the way the moonlight lit up his jaw and cast his somber face partially in shadow. Adriana took a deep breath.

“If I stay, will you spar with me?” she tore her gaze away and looked up at the nearly full moon.

“If it means that much to you, then yes. And we can put a wager on it, even.” Lucas looked more alive than she’d seen him so far. “If I win, you come to Hessiopolis with us.”

“And when I win?” Adriana countered.

Lucas shrugged. “I’ll tell them that we had an epic fight on a ship, and that your Divinity slipped to the bottom of the ocean. They’d figure out it was a lie after a while, but it would give you time to run and grow in power for when half the world hunts you. But you won’t win. I guarantee it.”

Adriana smiled and unconsciously drew closer to him. “We’ll see.”