Chapter 2

The Night Before

“I find it hard to believe myself, but apparently they have things up and running.” I told Luke for what must have been the fourth time of the night.

“Look…” He said as he got up from the worn leather couch and started pacing around what I considered my home library. It would have been a study if I was born a few hundred years ago with its oversized desk, oversized coffee table, fireplace, and walls of custom shelving piled with worn books on all subjects, random papers and objects stuffed where they would fit. He had trailed off as he walked along towards the desk at the far end of the room.

“Henry…” Luke started again, sighing as he looked at some of the random curios I had collected in my travels. He glanced over the foot-high terracotta replica and paused at the tanto dagger I had picked up in Japan decades ago.

“Why do you want to kill yourself Henry? That is all you’re going to do, is wind up brain dead.” He let out in a bit of an outburst as he turned to face me.

“Luke.” I sighed, feeling the fake bear fur carpet between my toes. “We’ve been over this. I’m willing to listen to your advice, your thoughts, and your opinions. I am not willing to listen to you try and tell me I will die when you haven’t looked at the science or studies. I can even explain the reports and research to you if you want.” I paused taking a drink of my soda to see if he was going to say anything. Instead he moved on from the bookshelves and was looking at a canvas of the Vitruvian Man.

“Look at me though. I’m ninety-three and I rarely get out of my wheelchair.” I said sadly.

“My knees hurt constantly, more if I get up and walk. My vision was crappy when I was twenty-five let alone now. My hands ache if I do much more than the most basic of things. My wife has been gone for almost twenty years, and while I love my godson of yours, he is an old man himself on the other side of the country.” I paused to take another sip of soda.

“I thought you said therapy and medicine was helping?” he asked a bit hesitantly as he absentmindedly turned an old replica of a globe.

“It does to a degree.” I paused, not wanting him to feel bad.

“But I’m old. Look, I know you’re not happy about this, and as a friend I understand. But as my lawyer, I just wanted to make sure everything was legally sorted out and ironclad on the rare chance something happens. You’ve already cleared that up. Go home, we can talk about it more at next week’s visit.” I looked out the window at the night sky, appreciating that I could see some stars from my spot.

He looked down at the carpet. “That obvious huh.” He glanced up to see me smiling, surprised that I had recognized that for the last few months he had some reason or another to stop by my house and visit on a weekly basis. One week it would be his house being cleaned, another his tee time cancelled, but at least once a week he would show up and bring lunch or coffee.

“Luke, you’re a great friend, now go home.” I said as I directed the wheelchair out of my library and towards the front door.

He sighed as he followed me into the hallway, sounding as though he wanted to start up again. I couldn’t blame him though; the idea should sound crazy. I knew the science and it was still a bit crazy.

Step one, have a procedure done to drill through the skull just large enough to allow a fine needle through. Step two, insert a port with what amounted to a receiver on it, along with providing a location to infuse nanoscopic particles through it. Step three, go through a slow infusion of nanoscopic particles through said port. Step four, allow the nanoparticles to seat, absorb enough body heat to turn on, and begin transmitting. Step five, allow the computer to do its work interpreting the signals received and mapping a brain. Then repeat step three, four, and five if needed.

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Fortunately, we reached the door in silence. He looked up and opened his mouth to say something, a tired expression on his face, but he quickly shut it again, turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

I leaned back tired. It had been a long few months with him stopping by and worrying ever since I first asked him to revise my will and review a special set of corporate documents as a precaution.

On the offchance that something was to happen during any of these procedures, or when it was finally time to be a test subject myself, I didn’t want to be in a vegetative state. Not only that, but I didn’t want my cat Shadow to not be taken care of, or any of the thousands of employees of my company to be either held accountable or left without plans to keep moving forward. For the last 30 years I had put hard work into this project. Despite the secretive and illegal nature of my activities, I certainly wouldn’t see it fizzle out just because I finally kicked the bucket.

Yes, it had been a long few months. The last month the longest since there was only a dozen or so individuals that knew I had started the process. Wearing tele-monitoring devices around the clock, wearing a helmet most of the time to allow for easier transmission from my internal receiver to an external source when I was home alone, where it could then be transmitted to the computer and server set up in my spare bedroom. Worrying that I might die of something more natural before I was able to enjoy the experience at least once.

Even if I could go in once though, it would be worth it.

I directed the wheelchair to my bedroom. I was getting tired doing less each day. Even if I hadn’t been a doctor earlier in life I’d like to think it would have still been obvious that I was reaching the end of my time. Now it was just seemed to me that it was my internal drive to make it long enough to see what it was like to be fully immersed in a virtual world. To be able to do what I could when I was in my twenties without pain or trouble just once more.

I groaned as I transferred onto my bed and lay down. Even laying down wasn’t without its aches and pains. Shadow, my black adopted stray cat, hopped up onto the bed as was his nightly routine. I knew he would sleep on the bed off and on throughout the night, but he always came in to lay down when I did. He had been my trusty companion for the last 15 years, having been the first test animal after we finished testing on rodents. Regardless of the illegal nature of everything, or the chance anyone might even find out, I wouldn’t let anyone kill the animals we tested on. It just wasn’t right.

Even though I wasn’t happy about testing on animals or rats, I certainly didn’t want to test it on humans or myself first. To ease my conscience, I made sure the animals were all well taken care of in our research lab, and that none were sacrificed as was done with traditional research. It delayed the tests and studies by a bit, but I was adamant about it. Having started and still running the company with this special project being on my own dime meant I could be the one to make the call.

I pet Shadow thinking about him. He, was the first and only cat to have the procedure done. The team wanted to go slowly up in size to get an idea about the procedure and nanoscopic particles required from a mouse to a larger subject. Shadow just happened to be found by one of the team walking into work that day. All black and barely visible as the tiny kitten he was, he certainly wouldn’t have survived long outside. No one had seen any other cats in the area. It was serendipitous though, because he marked the point of starting to repeat slow infusions of nanoparticles instead of thinking it had to be a one and done process.

After Shadow came the murkier times for the project though. The scientists and myself had seen such success on the rats that rather than wait for cats or other larger animals to have the procedure and then start dying from natural causes, we made a group decision to go after terminal humans. We opted to find people who were done fighting and ready to die, willing to be test subjects.

So many laws and ethical principles were violated, and with each new person there was a worry that our secret would get out. Scouting individuals with terminal conditions across the country that were poor. Each time approaching someone, finding out if they would be a test subject but remain silent in exchange for the last few months of life in relative comfort and their family inheriting a small fortune. It was always explained away, a last-minute lottery purchase, some stocks in a retirement account they forgot about. Bribing their silence and the ability to keep them monitored in our research lab for the rest of their life…

Tomorrow would finally be the day though. I would finally get to experience what it was like to be immersed in a virtual world I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep.