Chapter 1: Albion
Welcome to Albion
Current Population: 172
Original Inhabitants: 143
Immigrants: 15
Gods: 2
Dungeons: 12
Grow your population to unlock perks.
First milestone: 10,000 residents.
“Was that part of the game?” I asked, confused to see messages in the absence of Pi.
There was no reply. He truly was gone. I ran my finger along the throne’s armrest which was remarkably void of dust. Was there a Knight of Dusting? Outside of Bori whose core was currently snoring in my stone arm, silence reigned in the throne room.
Ceru had yet to return from her village, where she’d gone to pick up the rest of her clan. Primith had just got back from Earth after spending time with her family.
The other players, as well as some people I’d met on Gaia, had all already retired for the night.
That’s right, I have a guest wing.
Even Porky had his own room. The velocipig was pleased with his paddock just outside of the castle kitchen. Sir Lamorak was his new best friend, a bond earned through a shared love of food. The three people I was most concerned about were my original group; Isa, Zelle, and Nax. Just a month ago, I never would have imagined they would be with me in Albion. Except for Nax, I was certain they all hated me. Nax was just too nice to hold Isa’s death against anyone.
That was another story. My girlfriend died, and I brought her back to life. Don’t ever try that at home, kids. It never goes according to plan. She came back with major PTSD. Who can blame her though? One second she was walking into the light, and the next she was looking up and saw my ugly mug.
That didn’t make life any better for her two best friends. They did their best to soothe her. For Nax, it meant being a friend while Zelle was intent on murdering me. I try not to think about it. However, in the end, Isa’s trauma was too much for them and, as a last resort, they turned to me for help.
And help I did. I turned Pi loose and got their souls swapped for Isa’s parents. That’s another long story. Her parents, who’d gone missing when she was a child, died in a dungeon. It was the very same dungeon where Isa got killed. Oh, the irony.
Now let’s talk about Pi. I still don’t know what he is. My dark entity gave me unfettered access to the system went rogue. He possessed a bard I once knew to do who knows what.
So, anyway, Isa and her parents, in Nax and Zelle’s bodies, accompanied me to Albion. Our goal, you ask? Hunt down Pi, get Nax and Zelle back in their bodies and send her parents to the afterlife in style. Oh, and hopefully get Isa to forgive me. Then there’s the matter of Pi. I need to figure out what he’s up to.
Now let’s talk about Albion. Somehow in all this mess, I became King of a nation. Nobody lives here currently, so I don’t have to worry too much…yet. But wait, my other girlfriend, or should I call her my Ogre Baby Mama is gathering up all the nonhumans she can find to bring them to the relative safety of my new nation.
That’s it in a nutshell. While all of this is going on, my employer, S.I.M.P. Co, thinks this is all just a game. Regardless of what it is and what everyone thinks, I am going to win.
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Several weeks later…
“We need to infiltrate the enemy island,” Michael barked, getting nods from both Darrin and Alan.
“How are you even going to get there?” Kendra asked, rolling her eyes.
They’d only been staying with me for a while, but I was tired of the constant bickering. All they thought about was scoring points with no regard for safety whatsoever.
Primith was different. She came back after visiting her family with renewed resolve.
“You noobs will die if you head out right now,” she said while giving them the stink eye. “Do you remember that Alex beat all of you at once? By himself, I might add. Do you want to die? What you need to do is level up. Didn’t you get your invite by playing video games?”
“Football here,” Michael announced. “I got the invite after winning the Mega Bowl in Harry Flanders 2024.”
“Basketball,” Darrin chimed in. “We don’t have levels. I suppose there’s gym mode. Do you think working out will make us stronger?”
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“Yeah,” Michael replied. “It’s all about the roids baby!”
“I played dating sims,” Kendra said, walking over to a nearby mirror to preen. “I don’t suppose there will be flirting options.”
Kiavi rubbed her chin. “Video games are weird. We earn our place by solving puzzles on my planet. Not by mating.”
“I never said anything about mating!” Kendra blanched, her face turning bright red.
“But there is some sex,” I added helpfully.
“Well, yeah…” Kendra admitted.
“So, no RPG experience whatsoever,” Primith pointed out, trying to get the conversation back on track. “What about you, Carlito?”
As usual, I’d forgotten the invisible man was there.
He spoke from next to Kendra, making her jump. “I’m all about the spy games.”
I sighed. “Well, like it or not. This world functions like a fantasy role-playing game, so you’re going to have to level up.”
“How?” Darrin asked, motioning to the room around us. “I don’t see any monsters around here.”
I held up my stone arm and Bori appeared in front of me. “That’s right. Meet my daughter, Bori. She and her siblings are going to be in charge of your training. In turn, you’re going to help them level up.”
“I’m not going to fight a child!” Michael balked.
Bori’s childlike form vanished and was replaced by a ten-foot-tall version of Porky, our resident monster.
“Am I scary enough for you now?” Her still childlike voice wasn’t helping her case.
“Not sounding like that,” Kiavi said, walking around the massive monster to get a better look at it.
“How about now?” Bori asked her voice a deep roar that still sounded childlike.
Everyone laughed but Primith soothed her in a motherly voice. “You sound very scary, Bori.”
The monster vanished and kid Bori appeared and wrapped her arms around Primith in a big hug. The players gathered around me.
“How exactly does this work?” Alan asked. “They can’t just give us exp, right? Wouldn’t that be cheating against, uh, whatever this thing is giving us levels?”
“Haven’t you ever done a dungeon before?” I asked, wondering why none of them had any experience with dungeons. They had been on Gaia for well over a year now.
“We watched you do a few dungeons,” Darrin replied. “Your partner nearly died in the first one and then she actually died in the second one. Then your mage nearly died in the last one you tried. I don’t see how this is safe at all. We came here to play a game, not risk our lives.”
“I want to know how you talk to dungeons,” Michael said, his face red with excitement. “And how do you get them to…”
Alan elbowed him in the ribs. “Never mind him. He’s just horny.”
“Dude!” Michael balked. “He did it with a dungeon.”
Primith cleared her throat loudly, motioning to Bori who was still hugging her. “Ahem. Erethay areyay ildrenchay esentpray.”
“Wha?” Michael asked, clearly perplexed.
Alan groaned, dragging Michael away. “Dude. I can’t with you.”
Bori looked up at Primith. “What did you just say to him? He was talking about Mommy and Daddy, wasn’t he?”
Primith rolled her eyes and patted Bori on the head. “He was being stupid.”
“It’s okay,” Bori announced. “Mommy already told me how babies are made. She said someday I’ll have to do it and she wouldn’t be there to explain it to me.”
Primith gave me a concerned look. I shrugged. “Don’t ask me how dungeons explain the birds and the bees.”
Bori grinned. “She told me she’ll tell you when you’re older.”
“Hey!” I yelled in mock outrage. “I’m older than you, Squirt.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, but only in boy years.”
Primith chuckled. “That’s very right, Bori.
Bori rounded on her. “You still need to tell me what you said. I want to know that language.”
“Oh, really?” Primith asked, pulling her in for another hug. “Alex, I think I want to keep this one. Trade you one of mine?”
I smiled. “It’s fine. You’re on my team anyway, so we will train with Bori. There are plenty of other dungeons for the others.”
“Speaking of dungeons,” Primith replied. “How are we going to do this?”
I glanced at the pink glow emitting off Cornerstone where Bori’s core was embedded in my stone arm. “I’m not sure. We need to talk to the other parents.”
As we walked away, Kendra tugged on the sleeve of my tunic. “Are you sure it’s safe?”
Kiavi walked up beside her, leaning over her friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Kenny. We can take it slow. I’ll keep you safe.”
Kendra didn’t look placated. I tried to think of the best thing to say.
Primith beat me to it. “We’ll make sure that one experienced player is on every team.”
Kendra scrutinized me for a moment before announcing. “We will be on Primith’s team.”
A look of recognition dawned on Primith’s face as she realized what she’d just signed up for. “Ugh, fine.”
“Hey!” Bori squealed. “No fair! Primith is on our team.”
I patted her on the head. “Don’t worry, Kiddo. There will be plenty of time for you to learn Pig Latin.”
“Pig language?” She asked.
“Something like that,” Primith chuckled.
“Alright,” I replied. “I guess that means the guys are on my team.”
“But there’s more men than women,” Carlito’s voice came out of nowhere.
“We’ll take him,” Kiavi said, licking her lips.
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The next thing on the agenda was getting the parent permission slips signed. I vouched for Bori, so it was just a matter of convincing one or two of the other mothers to let us borrow their young dungeons for a light bout of training. Since I knew Pippa, I went to her first.
“Hi, Alex,” she beamed as she saw me when she opened the door to her room. “Did you come for a bit of fun? I know your girlfriend still isn’t back yet.”
“Actually,” I replied, wondering if I had time for a quickie. “I wanted to talk to you about setting Rox up in his very own dungeon.”
“Is it already time for that?” Pippa whined. “I just got him back.”
“You’d be doing me a favor,” I said, fidgeting as I explained. “We need to level up for the next part of the game. We need Rox to make a dungeon for the players to level up. He will grow from this as well. It will also be good practice for when other residents arrive on the island.”
“Other residents?” Pippa asked, the smile gone from her face. “You mean he’s going to have to live down there?”
“He is a dungeon,” I said softly. “He has to live his life. Would you expect a crab to live outside of its shell?”
“What’s a crab?” She asked. “Are you going to let Bori live in a dungeon too?”
I touched the spot on my arm closest to Bori absentmindedly, knowing exactly how she felt.
“I thought so,” Pippa replied, adopting the same soft tone I’d used on her. “I’ll let him go but I want to be there. At least for the first couple of times.”
“Are you sure that’s safe?” I asked. “I mean you’re not exactly an adventurer?”
“Do you think my son would hurt me?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, no. But accidents can happen,” I replied, though my words sounded hollow even to myself. “Fine. You can go but you need to stay well away from the fighting.”
She booped me on the nose. “Silly boy. Rox’s monsters would never hurt me. Do you think Bori would let one of hers hurt you?”
“Her mom sure did,” I said with a chuckle.
“That’s different,” she replied before whispering in my ear. “That was foreplay.”
I gaped at her. “How do you…? Well, never mind. We need a third dungeon for this. Who do you suggest we ask for that?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Pippa said with a sly grin. “Zelda’s been asking about you for a while. I’m sure she will help.”
“What do you mean; asking about me?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.
Pippa winked. “You know. A girl has needs.”