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StarSword Online
1.22 - Señor Burrito's Burritos

1.22 - Señor Burrito's Burritos

The cafeteria in the middle of floor 56 of the Pod Hive was a large octagonal room, its walls lined with vending machine after vending machine. In the very center, a round bar with a counter and seats stretched 360 degrees around. An androgynous-looking android with a silver, impassive face tended to the few residents leaned over the counter, swirling their glowing beverages. The bar served more than just alcohol, its shelves filled with all manner of different bottles and mixers.

  In the donut-shaped space in-between the center bar and the walls of vending machines were spread tens of pale-blue circular tables and plastic chairs. Right now, they contrasted against the dark tiles of the floor. In the daytime, these tiles, like the ceiling overhead, changed to reflect the time. Above Max and Lowri, the ceiling depicted a midnight atmosphere, sparkling with stars and distant galaxies. In the coming hours, however, it would slowly brighten to blue, cloudless sky. Most of the people living and working here rarely left, so much of the communal elements of the Pod Hive were designed to simulate the outdoors.

  “C’mon!” said Lowri, pulling Max down the long line of vending machines. “I’ll show you my favorite.”

  Each vending machine had its own specialty—there was ramen and sushi, pasta and rice bowls. Some made nothing but deserts: ice cream here, cakes and pies in another. There were machines that cooked steaks, machines that made hotdogs and hamburgers, machines that spit out spicy bowls of curry. There were breakfast machines and sandwich machines, pizza machines and pastry machines.

  As Max and Lowri passed near, each lit up in anticipation, the machine’s AI awakening to entice them to purchase whatever food or drink they offered. Max was always amused by the variety of personalities. He found the soup machine to be incredibly aggressive, even going so far as to insult them as they ignored it ("You're lucky you didn't stop here! I would've spit in your soup, I would!"). The fruit vending machine was placed right next to the machine which offered nothing but vegetables, and when Max and Lowri neared their terse relationship became apparent.

  “Young man! Something for your companion? Something sweet? Strawberries and grapes are good for sharing!”

  “Oh shut it, sugar tooth! Hey there, may I interest you in carrots or kale, cabbage or watercress? You look like a healthy couple, surely a salad is more to your preference…”

  “Nonsense! Nobody likes vegetables you stingy granola! What’ll you offer them next, lima beans?”

  “Better than anything you could give, you great hunk of diabetes!”

  “You’re lucky I can’t move, or I’d come over there and wallop you with a papaya!”

  “Ha! I’d like to see you try, fatty…”

  Lowri kept walking, past the still-arguing fruit and veggie machines, past the clearly over-caffeinated espresso machine and the sultry milkshake machine. Finally, she slowed to a halt in front of a brightly colored red, green, and yellow machine. Bold words across the top read:

Señor Burrito's!

  “Have you been here before?” asked Lowri.

  “Nope,” said Max. Most of the time, he ate at the lower cost machines—the protein patties and vitamin jellies. They were bland and had the consistency of cat food, but were also cheap and provided everything his body needed. Rarely did Max ever splurge for the more expensive vending machines like this one... but he didn't tell Lowri that.

  “Lowri! Qué tal, señorita?” said the machine, lighting up. “Your usual?”

  “Yes please, Señor! I’m starving,” said Lowri. She brought a hand to her forehead and pretended to faint.

  “I can't be having that, not to my most loyal customer! Uno memento!” The machine began to whirr, its insides coming to life. “And who’s this? A new friend? I don’t recognize him, and I never forget a face. It’s rude of you not to introduce us!”

  “Sorry,” said Lowri, “Max, this is Señor Burrito. Señor Burrito, Max. He’s my neighbor, technically speaking.”

  “Ah! Mucho gusto, Max. And no offense amigo, but you’re looking thin as a churro. Anything from my menu will put some weight on those bones, shall I fix you up something? You won’t regret it!”

  “Um, no th—” Max began, before Lowri cut him off.

  “Ooooh yes! Max, Señor Burrito makes the best food in this entire place. You’ve got to try it.” She turned back to the machine. “Señor, just make him what I’m having. And put it on my credit.”

  “You don’t need to do that!” Max tried to protest. “Really, it’s fine, I can pay for myself.”

  “Nonsense. It’s my treat. Besides, you were a great guide, and now you’ll never forget me. Even if we never run into each other again, I’ll always be the girl who bought you your first Señor Burrito!”

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  “Well, thanks…” said Max, though he couldn’t help feeling a little embarrassed. Shouldn’t he be the one paying for the food? Still, he was relieved. In his current situation, he really shouldn't be splurging on premium vending food.

  “Señorita Lowri, so generous,” said Señor Burrito. “That’s what I always liked about you. Almost done here.” The whirring continued for a few more seconds. Then, in the wide opening halfway down the machine, a tray popped out with five massive, neatly-wrapped, cylindrical-shaped parcels. “Acabado! Three Big Mama burritos, and two Smokin’ Chimis made with care.”

  “You’re a lifesaver, Señor,” said Lowri.

  “Anything for you, Lowri. Visit me again soon… That damn pizza roll machine keeps stealing all my customers. Pendejo!”

  As Señor Burrito continued grumbling about his competition, Max made to pick up the tray—but Lowri beat him to it. “I’ve got the tray,” she said. “Can you just pick out an open table? Don't worry about me, I’ll follow the sound of your footsteps.”

  At this hour of night, very few of the tables were occupied. Max walked to one nearby and pulled out a chair for Lowri and himself. He was about to help her with the tray, but she gently set it down on the table and found her chair. Once they had both seated themselves across from each other, Lowri pushed one of the three silvery-wrapped burritos towards Max. She began unwrapping one herself and wasted no time digging in.

  “Mmph! Nuffing makes me feel better affer a long session in the Dreamdrive,” she said between bites. “I mean Juice helps you survive and all, but it doesn’t feed your body y’know?” Lowri paused for a moment, listening. “You haven’t started eating yet? Don’t just watch me! I’ll feel like a pig!”

  Max hadn’t even thought of eating himself; what wits he had at that moment were busy trying to figure out if Lowri planned to eat the four remaining burritos and chimichangas herself… had the vending machine called it her regular order?? The girl was shorter and nearly as thin as himself, surely there was no way she could pack away that much food...

  At Lowri’s prompting, however, he unfurled the foil-like wrapping and picked up the giant burrito. It was stuffed to bursting and must’ve weighed three pounds—after months of protein patties and vitamin jelly, the monstrous tortilla was almost intimidating. Somehow, he managed to fit his mouth around it and took the largest bite he could muster.

  “That’s more like it,” said Lowri, hearing the sound. “Well? Is it amazing or is it amazing?”

  “Mmph, drrifish!” said Max, and he meant it. “How issit so good?!”

  “Right? It’s the best!” said Lowri, before attacking the rest of her food with the fury of a Valkyrie.

  Lowri wasn’t lying; Señor Burrito really did make a killer wrap. Beans and rice, chunks of steak and cheese, juicy tomatoes and crunchy onions mixed with lettuce and peppers… some kind of sauce brought all the ingredients together. The more Max ate, the better he felt. For a few minutes, he and Lowri were lost in the bliss of Mama Burritos and Smokin’ Chimis, until all that remained was crumpled foil and napkins soiled with delicious burrito juice.

  Max was stuffed. “I can’t move,” he groaned. How Lowri was able to put away that much food was a mystery he felt he'd never solve.

  “I could go for another,” said Lowri. She yawned contently.

  “If we had superpowers, I suspect I’d know what yours would be.”

Lowri laughed. “Fast metabolism? My brother used to call me ‘incinerator’ because of how much I ate. Lovingly, of course,” she added. “Superpowers… I wish! Okay, so I’m the Incinerator. Your superpower would be?”

  Max had to think about that. He wasn’t really sure he had any… he didn’t feel particularly smart, and he definitely wasn’t physically strong. He didn’t have any special talents to speak of, couldn’t wiggle his ears and had no double-joints. Even in Starsword Online, he had no ideas what his Affinities were—but he knew for certain that it wasn’t Mining.

  He shrugged. “No idea.”

  “Hmm. Well, even though we just met, I know you’re kind. That’s a superpower in my book.”

  Alby's pained face flashed through Max's mind. Kind. Yeah right. If it wasn’t for Max and his stupid, selfish plan, his friend would still be alive. “I’m not so sure about that,” he said, lowering his eyes.

  “That's okay, because I am,” said Lowri. “And trust me, I’d know.”

  “It must not be easy… your, er, condition, I mean…”

  “My blindness?” Lowri laughed. “It’s okay, you can say it. I hate when people refuse to call it what it is, actually. It’s awkward! Like I’m not tough enough to hear it. I haven’t been able to see since I was little, this is normal for me, you know?”

  “Sure, sorry. I just… I guess I just don’t know what’s… appropriate.”

  Lowri smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you know. Besides, it won’t be forever. I’m saving up for bionics! I still have a ways to go, but… I’ll get there sooner or later. Just need to keep grinding.”

  “Yeah…” Max thought about his own goals. Once he got to Tiann City, he’d have to find a new profession, and quickly. That is, if he ever got there… From what Entrails had mentioned before Max logged out, it sounded like they were both prisoners of a sort, courtesy of Lady Crane. Another obstacle to deal with. Thinking about it made him anxious. Though Max would enjoy sitting here for some time longer, Entrails was still depending on him to return. Considering all the warrior had done for him, Max didn't want to keep him waiting any longer than he had to. “Listen, speaking of grinding… I should be getting back. Got some things to take care of.”

  "Oh! That's okay." Lowri yawned once more. "I might succumb to a food coma any moment anyways." The brown-haired girl slowly rose from her seat and stretched her arms overhead. "I could make my way back to our Podroom, but since you were such a good guide last time..."

  Max smiled; he was hoping she'd ask. "I'd be happy to, but only if you promise not to burn my arm on the way there."

  "Ha! Don't worry, I don't start overheating until I take a nap. And we aren't that good friends yet," Lowri said, winking.

  When she said that, Max was relieved she couldn't see his face—his cheeks burned red.

  After walking with her back to the Podroom, Max guided Lowri to the ladder leading up to pod #26. She smiled when he thanked her for the burrito, before sleepily climbing into her pod and closing the cream-colored prefab door behind her.

  Max leaned against the ladder leading up to his own pod, allowing himself a moment to enjoy this feeling of contentment that he really didn't see coming. It had been a long time since he'd felt any kind of real human connection in the real world, and he'd forgotten how good it felt. Entrails had told him to exercise, but at this point Max didn't feel like he needed it. Perhaps the Senor Burrito's burrito had something to do with that... he'd really have to consider spending a bit more on real food from now on. He gave himself a few more minutes, then he climbed the stairs up to his pod and steeled himself for the challenges ahead.

  The way Entrails had spoken of Lady Crane, he had a suspicion it wasn't going to be easy.