After Anakin´s breakdown, he had slept for almost a full day before he awoke. Unfourtnantly he moved around like a rusty droid and his eyes were void of light. Padme had tried to comfort him but it seemed that the young Padawan was stuck in whatever trance he had entered.
Sar had given him a couple of days rest before moving all of them to the ship where they were now traveling back to the Jedi Temple. The threat toward Padme was now over or at least lowered to a degree where the protection of Jedi was unnecessary.
The vote had gone the way Dooku had wanted and while Gunray probably still wanted the senator dead, his machinations would be much easier to manage than a former Jedi Master.
Sar had asked Padme to give him and Anakin some space so they were currently the only ones sitting in the cockpit of the ship while Padme had returned to her quarters. Sar observed the young man sitting in front of him and he could clearly sense his anger and pain radiating off him in waves.
Sar leaned forward a little before he snapped his fingers in front of Anakin´s face to snap him out of his daze.
"Skywalker!"
Anakin jerked a little before slowly turning his gaze to the Jedi in front of him looking at him with an empty gaze.
Seeing this Sar let off a soft sigh before he leaned back into his seat.
"I´m sorry about your mother Anakin," Sar noticed Anakin twitch at the mention of his mother. "but we have to address what you are currently going through"
Sar could truly understand why Anakin was having such a difficult time letting go of his anger. While Jedi normally had no attachments to a family due to them being taken to the temple at such a young age Anakin had been 9 years old when he had been brought to the temple.
Even Sar could understand that the bond between parents and child was a strong one not easily broken, but he also knew that such an explanation would not be enough for the High Council to refrain from imprisoning him due to his Dark Side Tendencies.
"What I´m going through?" Anakin finally responded though his voice was soft and hoarse, that was until he suddenly snapped his head towards Sar practically snarling as he talked.
"What is there to talk about?! My mother was just murdered because I wasn´t there to protect her," His voice got softer as he finished his sentence. "Because I was to busy playing hero somewhere else."
Sar understood now Anakin felt guilt, which was understandable with Anakin´s power protecting his mother from the Raiders would have been no trouble at all, but it was also unfair he wasn´t omnipotent after all.
"Anakin, I won´t claim to understand your pain," Sar sent a calming wave of Force towards Anakin. "But I can help you understand and control it."
Anakin just slumped defeated into his chair.
"What is the point? I will surely be kicked out of the Order upon our return anyway"
Sar shrugged his shoulders and gave a wry smile.
"Only if they find out"
Anakin lifted a curious and slightly surprised eyebrow.
"And you would be willing to lie to the Council?" Anakin pointed a finger at Sar. "You, Sar Landala, mister ´discipline is everything´ would lie?"
Sar frowned a bit annoyed at the tone of voice the young man had used.
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"I may respect and abide by the Order´s teachings but I´m not a mindless husk. I have my own will and what the Council will do upon your return is un-just and rooted in ancient fear."
Anakin looked at Sar for a few moments before finally nodding.
"Fine, I´ll trust you"
It was clear to Sar that the young man was still in a great deal of pain, but Sar believed that if he could overcome this is powers would grow immensely.
"I will teach you a meditation I developed during my early days of Sith research this should help you resist the Dark Side that has already seeped into your mind"
At the mention of the Dark Side Anakin hesitated before he opened his mouth.
"Master Landala, wh-what I did to those Raiders I-I was-"
Sar stopped the Padawan´s clumsy rambling by raising the palm of his hand.
"Anakin whatever you did, however horrible, that wasn´t you," Sar shook his head. "At least not really it was the result of a moment's weakness that allowed the Dark Side to briefly poison your mind I cannot stress this enough."
Anakin looked like he wanted to say something more but closed his mouth and nodded.
"Good then let us begin"
Sar spent the next couple of hours teaching the young man his technique of resiting the Dark Side and suppressing the emotions that were clouding his mind. When he sensed that Anakin had reached a stable meditative state he exited the bridge so that Anakin could have peace while he gathered the pieces of his grief-stricken mind.
Sar let his thought wonder and a sad frown soon emerged on his face as he covered his eyes with his hand.
"I´m a liar" Sar couldn´t help but mumble as he heavily sat down on his bed.
Sar could have helped Anakin by talking about his own experiences with the Dark Side. Instead, he had hidden this fact and while the technique would help Anakin the remnants of the Dark Side would continue to haunt him.
Sar knew that all too well.
While Sar had claimed he had developed the technique due to his research of the Sith the truth was that it was really developed to resist the whispers of the Dark Side that he been with him ever since he was a Padawan.
In the years that had passed those whispers had developed into full-blown voices which kept talking promising power and knowledge, the Jedi could never hope to offer.
And to Sar´s shame, he had begun to talk back. His whole life he had been told that the Dark Side was a vile and cold thing, yet whenever the voices talked to him they contained boundless warmth and comfort.
Sar´s loyalty to the Jedi was what kept the Dark Side at bay. He had managed to stay true to his teachings but he felt himself slipping more and more these past few months.
Sar lowered his gaze to his hands turning them so that the palms were facing upwards. Black Lightning briefly flashed across his hands the distinct presence of the Dark Side obvious in the dark sparks of electricity.
Sar gritted his teeth cradling his head in his hands. He had many times sought the Force for guidance yet all he was greeted with was its ever calm silence.
Sar could feel that this coming war would change a lot in the galaxy and a lot of people.
But Sar, he was already forever changed.