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Leia sat on her waterfront terrace of ancient white stone, watching the air traffic around the domed tower of the New Republic Medical Facility. The weather remained fair and occasionally the sound of the waves made an impression on her troubled mind. Though her blue-robed Cheka guards stood in silence, her sensitivity to the Force made her painfully aware of their endlessly shifting emotional states. She sighed, trying her best to ignore the sense-impressions seeking for her attention.

CC-33, her blue protocol droid, ambled up to her.

"Is it Senator Binks?" Leia asked.

"No, my Empress," said the droid, bowing slightly. "I have just received word that your children are being - and forgive my grave inability to communicate this without causing offense - quite troublesome for their caretakers."

Leia winced. "What have they done?"

"Your Majesty, I have been informed that Mistress Anakel has not stopped crying since she was informed of her upcoming hybridization procedure. And young Master Ben has, well..."

"I was informed that my son was looking forward to the procedure."

"Ah! Well. Apparently that was reported in error. Young Master Ben said that he would like to "be an alien", but then he managed to break a window and climb out onto the ledge-"

"What?!" Leia shouted.

"Forgive me, Your Highness!" CC-33 gesticulated apologetically. "He has since been returned to his quarters. But while the brave Cheka were retrieving him from the ledge, his sister Anakel took the catalogue of alien forms and... well, she set fire to it."

"She was supposed to pick her nonhuman form from that book."

"Indeed, O Gracious Empress! Shall I have another catalogue of alien forms sent to their quarters?"

"Yes."

"I shall have it sent immediately, Empress." Moving to go, the droid stopped, then turned back to her. "I nearly forgot, but your son, young Master Ben, has requested a meeting with you."

"Not right now," said Leia, shaking her head slightly. "I believe Senator Binks is here."

The protocol droid turned to the sound of conversation within the quarters. While CC-33 went inside to see their guest, Leia stood and waited. She heard her guards greet the Senator, then she heard CC-33 speaking as well. She frowned at the sudden sound of a crash followed by a whimper of pain. She felt alarm radiating from the room, followed by waves of embarrassment.

Senator Binks made his way onto the balcony, rubbing his head as CC-33 followed behind.

"I am so very sorry, honorable Senator!" said CC-33. "I have often said that those doorways should be extended for those of more considerable height, such as yourself!"

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Senator Binks was a tall Gungan, with long white ears that trailed down past his shoulders, and grayish-white flesh wrinkled with age. Despite his advanced senescence, his yellow, slitted eyes, sitting atop short stalks, still carried the luster of youth, and he smiled affably at the apologetic droid.

"Senator Binks!" said Leia, rising and holding out her hands. "What a pleasure!"

"Heyo-dalee, Empa-rest Organa!" said Senator Binks. "Meesa honorayed to be meetin' yoosa once again!"

Senator Binks bowed, then took Leia's hands in a warm greeting. Leia felt genuine joy seeing the aged Senator. Despite his rank and the prestige surrounding him, he was one of the few politicians - perhaps the only politician - who seemed to be free of intrigue. She felt she could relax and be herself around the Gungan representative.

"Senator Binks, won't you have a seat? We have refreshments available. I take it you still enjoy Mon Cala cucumbers?"

"Oh, moy moy!" The Senator's eyes widened at the tasteful spread on the table before them. As Leia gestured to a seat, Senator Binks gathered his voluminous purple robe and sat down. Leia took a seat as well. "Theesa lookin' like some mighty tasty tongue-grabbin', but, meesa must be sayin' that the true niceness be in-"

There was a sharp crack beneath the table, and Senator Binks's yellow eyes went wide. With a startled cry the aged Senator suddenly fell backward, his arms flailing as his chair gave way beneath him. He hit the ground with a heavy thud punctuated by the clatter of pieces of the chair.

"Oh, no!" Empress Organa cried out.

As she rose from her seat, her guards rushed to help the Senator to his feet. He groaned, clinging to the arms of a strong Chagrian.

"Senator Binks, are you alright?" said Leia, her face burning with shock and alarm. "Are you hurt?"

"Nay-o, Boss Organa!" Senator Binks smiled bravely as he dusted off his robe. "But meesa makin' a bigo boopjak when my broke-ed yoosa chair-io!"

"Nonsense, Senator Binks! I don't know how that happened, but it certainly was no fault of yours!"

A new chair was presented, and when they finally sat down once again, Leia and the Senator picked over the snacks that had been prepared for them. While Leia placed a slice of goat cheese on a thin rice cracker, Senator Binks's long tongue extended and snatched up a fresh Mon Cala kipper. While his eating technique may have been considered rude, human dominance of table etiquette was now a thing of the past, an abandoned relic of humanity's xenophobic history. So it was that Senator Binks was free to snatch up a sweet grape with his long tongue, which he munched happily in his wide, protruding mouth.

"Now, meesa Empa-rest," said Senator Binks, "my did not requestin' a meetup with yoosa only for tongue-grabbin' an' chair-breakin'! Meesa been much fraided in desa dark times."

"Please, Senator, tell me what has you so alarmed," said Leia.

"Well! Boss Organa, it'sa desa Imperios hoosa gone an' pasted so many nonhumans! Theesa here Tatooney? Ba-a-a-ad bombin'. Dey say desa human-man gettin' a blaster, an' den what? He crunchen' a whole city! An' den..."

As the Gungan regaled the horrible tale of Regis and Sindo and their slaughter of the nonhuman people of Mos Eisley, his attention fell on a vase of plastic farbanti flowers, complete with multi-colored berries. Though the plastic berries were inedible, the esteemed Senator must not have understood that they were fake, for his tongue whipped out to pick them up. Leia's eyes widened with horror as she watched the Senator's tongue pass through the berries and attach to the vase, thus bringing the entire decorative piece flying toward his face. With a resounding thonk the vase smacked against his lips and teeth. Fake leaves and berries flew in all directions, and while he tried to grab the vase before it hit the ground, he only managed to juggle the decorative piece as it continually slipped from his grasp.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Leia reached out and the vase rocketed into her hand. Balancing it delicately, she placed it back where it had originally sat. Senator Binks blinked, looked at his hands, then looked at Leia in confusion.

"The massacre at Mos Eisley has us all gravely concerned, Senator," said Leia. "I assure you, the humans responsible for this travesty will be punished."

Senator Binks's kindly face suddenly darkened with sadness. Leia waited patiently while the Gungan gathered his thoughts. Finally he spoke. "Empa-rest, issa yoosa ever hearin' the tragedy of Jar Jar the Gungan? Me tinkin' not. Issa not a tale-O what a human be tellin' you. See, Jar Jar the Gungan, heesa gettin' kicked outa heesa home, Gungan City, over no more dan a fewsa axadentes. Den one thing is leadin' to another, and boom! Jar Jar is a Sen'tor. But den... there is a bombad war. An' Jar Jar, he seein' that no one is gettin' behin' the Primo Chancellor... Boss Palp'teen."

Leia felt herself drawn into Senator Binks's golden eyes as he continued. "But Boss Palp'teen, heesa bein' bery tricky. An' he tricked Jar Jar the Gungan into spaken', 'Hey, why weesa not givin' Boss Palp'teen mergency powers?' An' fore yoosa knowin' it, yoosa knee-deep in a 'Lactic Empire. Nonhumans was on da menu, an' alla them humans - theysa ready for some tongue-grabbin'. An' hoosa eberybody blamin' for dissa bombad boopjak? Yoosa knowin' it... Jar Jar the Gungan."

Senator Binks lowered his gaze and picked idly at his food as he continued. "Jar Jar, heesa runnin' away to heesa people, an' Jar Jar thinkin' they gonna hide heesa in Gungan City. Wrong-O! Boss Nass tellin' Jar Jar theysa got a Nocombackie Law, an' once yoosa out, yoosa out. So Jar Jar, heesa got no home, an' heesa got no palo to givin' any hep. Heesa alone. Heesa hated... by eberybody."

"And what happened to Jar Jar?" said Leia, already guessing where the tale was headed.

Senator Binks shrugged. "Some say heesa go beggin' on da streets, an' some say he go inna hidin' in day marshy stickgooshy. Still others, theysa sayin' he go on a wild paddlewompy in da deep ocean, way down in da Ome-Goosa. An' he even meetin' da gods, an' even da great god... Oma-Oma!" Senator Binks smiled alarmingly before adding, "But meesa? I sayin' he just endin' up a Sen'tor again!"

Leia forced a smile despite the sensation of sinking beneath waves of guilt. "Humans have hurt you deeply, Senator Binks. I understand."

"Well, now the 'Lactic Empire issa gone, an' a lotta nonhumans, they wearin' bombad Sen'tor robes! No matter what, theysa not keepin' my down! But that's why me thinkin' you not likin' us..."

"I do like you, Senator Binks!" Leia heard the words tumble out of her without thought. "I do like you, and I want to help you! I don't want to live in a galaxy where aliens can be slaughtered by... by disgusting humans!"

"So-o-o, den... yoosa gonna' be helpin' us?"

Leia forced her will into her voice as she said, "Senator Binks, I will stop at nothing to protect your people, and all nonhuman people, from these monsters."

Senator Binks's fears were allayed by Empress Organa, and so after an exchange of pleasantries, he strolled away satisfied. The blue-robed Cheka guards saw him off, and the protocol droid thanked him profusely for attending the meeting. As he left the Empress's quarters, he ambled easily through the hallway and stopped before an elevator. He would have to go down several levels to reach his hovercar.

The elevator arrived and he stepped onboard, idly wondering what he should do with the rest of his day. He pushed the button for his floor, then turned to inspect his face in the reflective surface of the elevator.

"Sen'tor Jar Jar Binks," he said quietly. "Now dats bery bombad! But meesa wonderin' if..."

As the elevator descended, Senator Binks caught motion, then felt something pull at his robe. Turning around awkwardly, he watched as his robe was pulled upward through the closed doorway. The hem of his voluminous robe had somehow gotten caught on the elevator's outer doorway!

He pulled against the robe as it pulled against him, then it was suddenly torn from his body. He felt a familiar sense of horror and dismay as he watched his robe disappear through the top of the elevator door, the impossible situation seeming more like a dream than reality.

And yet it was real, for he now stood completely naked, with even his doob-doob hanging out. He shrieked and covered himself, dancing awkwardly, his body flailing like some primeval Gungan summoning ritual. And yet even in the middle of his humiliation, he felt strangely at home. Finally the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened wide.

"And here we have the elevator which leads directly to the Empress's office and living quarters," said a protocol droid, gesturing before a class of children from the Legislative Youth Program as they toured the Republic Palace. "One needs a special access key to use it, so whoever is arriving must be very important indeed!"

The droid must not have noticed the shocked faces of the children, for when he turned to the elevator and saw a tall, wrinkled Gungan covering his genitals with a look of horror stretching his face to absurd, cartoonish proportions, the droid assumed his neural interface circuits must have suddenly fried.

* * *

Once the trans-system connection was established, Leia found herself standing before a holographic projection of Viddu the Hutt. The large blob of flesh wore bright magenta face paint that contrasted with his black skin. His pale blue eyes were slitted and unmoving, and Leia began to wonder if the Hutt was asleep. Finally the eyes flicked down her length, then settled on her face once again. Viddu licked his lips in one surprisingly quick motion, then smacked his lips together grandly.

"Ah, Empress Organa don Newpa Publiko!" said Viddu, his voice rumbling even through the tinny speakers. "Chut chut! To what da Viddu owe this commekation?"

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Seeing the creases of flesh around Viddu's parting mouth, she instantly felt the memory of a large tongue sliding between her breasts, then touching her belly as it probed her skin. She clamped her mouth shut as if holding back vomit. A small, tiny voice screamed at her that Viddu was repulsive, a creature who reminded her of something that should never be remembered. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that some nonhuman forms challenged human preconceptions for what was and was not acceptable, forcing humans to confront their own bias. She managed a tight smile.

"Greetings, O Great Viddu of the Hutt Cartel!" said Leia. "I come to you with a humble request for aid."

"Oh! Humble request!" Viddu's brow lifted and he cocked his head so that another roll of chin-like flesh was pushed forth. Leia froze her smile in place, hating herself for having such difficulty in dealing with a respected, influential member of the Hutt Cartel. Viddu continued, saying, "A-a-ah, great grancha Empress Organa, coming to Black Worm don hopa? And yet, you timing en goola, con dabba... you commekation don after human killee our people des Tatooine?"

CC-33 shifted his weight beside Leia, but she brushed aside his offer for translation. She knew that Viddu was wondering about the timing of her request for aid not so long after a human had gone on a rampage within Viddu's backyard. She thought about reminding Viddu that Tatooine was just as much a part of the New Republic as was Coruscant, but she felt it unwise to take such an aggressive stance.

"Yes, Viddu, but my request involves tracking down the human criminals responsible for that terrible massacre. I had hoped to capture them and have them tried on Tatooine, so that you might dispense justice. Unfortunately, they've eluded some of my best Cheka. I need your help, Viddu. I need bounty hunters."

Viddu laughed to himself, then immediately abandoned the appearance of good humor and slitted his eyes distrustfully. "Some say, banti hunta deka? Un padu 'not need their scum'!"

"But I do need you, Viddu. And I would never, ever say such a thing about your competent network of nonhuman professionals."

The canny Hutt's face suddenly lit up with an almost childlike look of delight. "Ah! Dedu, grancha Empress Organa, besona big problem, de besona big solution! For you, don chesa send to you banti hunta... Viddu's Hounds."

Leia tried to hide her sigh of relief, but suddenly realizing that Viddu would likely respond to sycophantry, she smiled openly, tilting her head as if abandoning all pretense. "I am honored, great Viddu! I have heard of your Hounds. Is it true that they always find their prey?"

"Yag! Tagwa."

"Well then. Name your price."

"Che copah? Ah. That don samewan easy, don 'very small thing'..."

"Yes?"

"Don cawa, grant domenu title Senator se Tatooine don me: Zazedo Wermo, 'Black Worm' Viddu."

Leia said nothing. Thinking that she did not understand, CC-33 chimed in, "Empress Organa, Viddu is requesting that you make him the official representative of Tatooine within the Galactic Senate."

Leia clenched her jaw. The current Senator of Tatooine was a Twi'lek - a historically underprivileged species. He was very cooperative and got along well with the Jawas. He was an enthusiastic supporter of programs that gave underprivileged species a helping hand, and the only controversies surrounding him involved outdated ideas of sexuality which were thankfully being phased out. Leia did not like the idea of simply doing away with him.

"Legally, I can't do that," said Leia. "Senators are elected by the people they represent."

Viddu only chuckled in response. Leia wondered if he was toying with her, or if the Hutt genuinely believed she was joking. In a moment of grim clarity, she understood that playing with nonhumans who could get things done meant playing by their rules. It was all well and good that the current Senator was cooperative, but she needed the help of those who could provide solutions rather than excuses, even if they were disreputable. She could not legally depose the current Senator of Tatooine, but she could certainly have her Stralucitor plant false evidence that could be used against him. Blackmail would ensure that he would retire quietly, and thus violence could be avoided.

"Very well, Viddu. Please send your Hounds to find these criminals."

"An daba. Nema, don caba where they benno?"

Leia nodded. "I have an idea where they will go next."