“What the chuck? Is that the admiral?”
Just about the last thing the chief expected to see in the brig was the admiral’s bare and clenching ass covering an entire wall of Bonzo’s cell.
“Yup,” Bonzo said, his eyes never leaving the display. They were watching the admiral furiously plowing the midshipman, droplets of sweat were running down his temples and flicking off the perfectly-trimmed hairs of his beard. The COM shook his head, now every time he took an order from the man, he would have to be aware that under the uniform, everything was waxed.
“Why did you generate the admiral chucking the new midshipman?”
“Not generated. This live,” Bonzo said.
“Bulljit,” the COM spat.
“Here watch. Puter, whang the alarm in the midshipman’s quarters.”
At once the lights in the room on the display flashed, the admiral glanced up, frowned, and then went back to his task, never missing a stroke. The midshipman was so enthralled he didn’t even seem to notice. The COM raised an eyebrow, it was even more impressive knowing that none of that was augmentation. That was all admiral.
“I guess that’s why he’s the admiral,” the COM said, sweeping his hand over his bald head. “How the hell did you get access to the en suite cameras?”
“I been going a little crazy in here. Puter’s been letting me snoop around. I think she’s trying to cheer me up.”
“The ship’s computer is letting you spy on the admiral to cheer you up?” The COM scoffed, it sounded even more ridiculous out loud. He was not looking forward to reporting this to TEC-COM.
“I think she’s a little crazy too Cap,” Bonzo said, a distant look in his eyes.
“She reset to default during the breach.”
“Oh! No wonder she got quiet earlier. Thought she was snubbing me. There was a breach?”
“Yup.” The captain watched Bonzo try to pretend he wasn’t dying to know.
“Whale?” Bonzo finally asked, unable to hold back.
The COM nodded, smiling.
“The boys already in it?”
COM shook his head. He watched Bonzo’s brow furrow, the pilot’s mouth moved when he was thinking hard.
“Gunny wouldn’t go without me huh?”
The COM nodded. He was impressed Bonzo had been able to work it out.
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“He says he needs you, Bonzo.”
“Well, that’s a lie. They don’t need me. I just chuck everything up. I don’t want to go.”
“Horsejit. You know you want to get on that whale.”
“No, I don’t. I been thinking about it. How many T.A.R.D.S. you command, Cap?”
“There are twenty-three of you,” the COM replied, carefully.
“No, I mean, you had other platoons, right? Before us?“
“This is the thirty seventh.”
He saw Bonzo concentrating furiously, his mouth working hard.
“How many is that? Thirty-seven crews, twenty-three T.A.R.D.S. in each?” Bonzo squinted but he couldn’t get it. “Puter?”
851, the answer appeared to project in the space between them, but the COM knew it was just induced into their optic nerves.
“It’s a little more than that actually, over nine hundred. Before we settled on twenty-three, we tried larger units, fifty, sixty Marines. I had one that was a hundred.”
“Wow, a hundred T.A.R.D.S. Musta stank bad. Why’d you stop doing the big ones?”
“The big units were too big for one gunny to manage. They would just splinter and not work together, then they’d fight each other. When we tried that company of one hundred, we lost more to in-fighting than we did in the whale. Twenty-three is the magic number.”
“Well here’s my point Cap, out of them nine hundred, who’s left?”
“What do you mean, left?” the Captain asked.
“How many of them made it? How many are still alive?”
The captain paused. It wasn’t a question a Marine had ever asked him before. It was rare for one to think ahead farther than their next meal. His mind raced ahead to the airlock. If he jettisoned Bonzo now, could he save the rest of the unit? Would they mutiny if he did?
He could see himself, playing them the clip of Bonzo saying he didn’t want to go, telling them all he’d gone fussy. He just had to push the problem until after the whale, it might not even be an issue after that. If he was going to lie, why not just lie to Bonzo? Tell him they were all retired. For all Bonzo knew there was a whole planet of T.A.R.D.S. somewhere where they all retired to fight and eat nonstop. Tardhalla.
The COM met Bonzo’s gaze.
“None of them are alive Bonzo,” the captain said, his voice quiet. “We keep sending T.A.R.D.S. on missions until the whales get ‘em, then we spawn more. That’s how it is. It’s the same for me, they’ll keep sending me on breaches until one goes nova. We’re the same, you and I. They cook us up to do this, and they keep flying us until we’re gone.”
The COM waited to see how Bonzo would take it, very aware that if Bonzo snapped he would be ripped limb from limb. An image of the reactor stay bar flashed before his eyes, the two-inch pipe bent like a paperclip. But, instead, Bonzo’s eyes sought the floor.
“All gone,” he muttered solemnly. “Can you even remember them?”
“Some of them. The ones that stood out.”
“Do I stand out?”
“Yup. You and Gunny both,” the COM nodded. Bonzo’s nose twitched, and he snuffled, Cap wondered if he was about to cry. Bonzo just shut his eyes tight and took a shuddering breath.
“It’s a pretty big whale huh Cap?”
“Oh yeah, it’s bigger.”
“Bigger than what?”
“Just bigger. You want to go?”
“Chuck yeah I want to go. Who else is gonna fly?”
“Lefty, probably. Gunny’s not supposed to fly anymore, after that incident on the Morovini.”
“Lefty’s featured. Lemme outta here Cap.”
“You have to promise me first: no more chucking with the reactor Bonzo. If you do, we gotta lock you.”
“I understand,” Bonzo said with a solemn nod.
That’s the problem, the captain thought.