I was in the woods and struggling to catch my breath when I saw it, a towering redwood. Redwoods are hardly unique in Northern California, but this one is massive. More than usual. You should have seen it from where I was standing. I was awestruck, and when I say that, I mean I was stood there staring at it hemorrhaging minutes. Anyway, I was too out of breath to run anymore. It was like the tree answered my prayer, like it appeared for me.

            What do you mean trees don’t do that? Yeah, regular trees don’t do that, but this tree is special. Try to keep up man. And, don’t interrupt. You asked me to tell you the story, and I’m telling it how I remember it. It was there for me, a beastly thing; too big to see around. Imagine the biggest tree you can, and now double it. That’s how big it was. It was as domineering as it was impressive. Its closest branches menaced above the tops of the other trees. It’s enormous trunk, as fat and violent as twenty great white sharks, was colored crimson. I’m telling you, it reminded me of me.

            Yes, because I was covered in blood. That’s a give-in, right? I mean it’s a lot of blood. You’re getting me off track. Where was I?

            Okay. Apology accepted. Yes, I know a lot of people don’t talk like me. I’m not like a lot of people. I’m different and the tree knew that. It promised to hide me in plain sight. I mean, I heard it in my mind’s eye. It whispered, climb me. You got to remember, my dad didn’t die. My mom and sister, they went out like lights in an electrical storm, but my dad fought me off. He called the cops, and I wasn’t a mile into the forest before I saw the tree and heard the sirens. There wasn’t no way I was getting away, but there was the tree like saving grace. Like touched by a freaking angel. I didn’t have no climbing gear, so here is where it gets weird.

            Man, shut up and listen.

It was weird because I shouldn’t have been able to climb it. The world’s best climbers couldn’t climb it without hooks and ropes and stuff, but I did. It’s like it carved out holes perfectly suited to my hands and feet. I scooted up three-hundred-and-eighty feet and had my breath the whole time. About halfway up, I turned to look, and I could see the edge of the forest and the cops and their dogs catching my trail. I watched them coming, but to them I must have appeared like an ant. Plus, I was camouflaged by my family’s blood.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

            Did I mention how much my sister screamed?

            She screamed her freaking head off. I made a mistake doing my mom first. That got my sister going, but it shouldn’t have been her in bed with mom. It should have been dad, but he was waking up in the den due to my sister’s screaming. He didn’t come in right away. Probably thought she was having a bad dream and my mom was taking care of it. Can you believe he showed up with a sandwich in one hand? Man, that guy loves sandwiches.

I’m sorry. I’m getting off topic.

Are you still following?

Okay. Good. I’ll try to keep with it.

Anyway, I was going at this tree, scuttling up it like a beetle and really, I was like a beetle because it was so massive. I know I mentioned it’s big, but I don’t think you’re understanding how big. Imagine the biggest skyscraper in New York City, the Empire State Building. Oh, you don’t say? Okay, the One World Trade Center. Now double it. Yes, I’m serious. Double it. That’s how big it is. You wouldn’t know because you’re so small. Things look different to you, but it really is that big.

I stopped every so often to watch them coming. I got to the first branch when they got to the base of the tree. They look like ants down there. At that time, there was only six of them and the dogs. The news wasn’t here yet. The dogs never quit barking, do they? I climbed up a few branches, deep in leaves and brush, but dogs got good noses. I don’t think the tree has any magic to combat a dog’s nose. Dogs have three-hundred-million olfactory receptors in their noses. Did I mention I killed the dog too? Oscar didn’t bark much, but he begged for my dad’s sandwiches and my dad always gave him little chunks and crumbs would spill onto the floor.

He was in the backyard. Yeah, I know I would have made better time if I didn’t stop to stab the freaking dog. But my dad was watching from the upstairs window and remember he didn’t die? Trying to saw the damn dog’s head off killed a little piece of him. I know it did. He probably hurts more over Oscar than he does my mom.

Oh, I killed her because… Well, I don’t know… Come to think of it, I don’t know why I did any of it.

I didn’t know this tree was out here and I’ve hiked these woods plenty. It started with a voice… Yes, it was similar… Yes… I think you are onto something. I’m starting to think the tree doesn’t have my best interests at heart after all. I mean, it’s not like there is food or water up here. But, that’s crazy right? Did the tree do it? It’s the trees fault. Before I go, I just want to thank you for helping me realize and for listening. You ask a lot of questions, but you really helped me figure this out. You’re a nice squirrel. I’m going to fall now. Okay? Bye-bye.