[Who: The Narrator]
[Where: Superbium HQ, Academy Auditorium]
[When: Some time earlier]
“Quiet down, quiet down!” Tall, grizzled, and gaunt, the instructor at the front of the room addressed the crowd of hundreds of college-aged youths. The Headmaster, as he called himself, stood near a massive cloth-shrouded object, the item underneath being the reason for the gathering in front of him. Request after request went ignored, until finally, the man had had enough.
Striding to a boxed outlet on the wall, he dodged a few stray releases of ur-powers. Removing a card key from his pocket, he unlocked the cover, revealing a large lever. To the deriding booing of the crowd, he flipped it. Quiet stillness blanketed the auditorium, much to the displeasure of everyone else.
If any of them had objections, they could no longer be voiced, for the field silenced more than speech. The use of ur-powers throughout the room was also restricted, causing more than a few people who were in mid-air to drop painfully down to the ground.
All but one, of course. ”Do you have any idea how horrendously expensive this is to run? Every second, another thousand credits down the drain! Now, is everyone ready to pay attention?” He looked over at the crowd. Predictably, they were silent.
Glaring, but silent.
”That’s what I thought.” With a thunk, he returned the lever to its original position, returning sound to the room. Closing the case and flashing his card over it, he locked the box. Now uninterrupted, he walked back to the object at the front of the room.
These are the Urmin, the mutated descendants of Humanity. Horns, tails, tentacles, chitin, wings, metal, live vegetation, scales, fur, extra, missing, or deformed body parts, you name it, someone had it. Various races of the new humanity were present here, the variety among them mind-boggling.
The Fae, the Beastkin, and the Gizmos. The three main branches of humanity, each divided into their own strains, all gathered together in one room in anticipation of what would come next. It’d been a long and hard year of work at the Superbium HQ Academy, after all.
Most of them had supernatural abilities, their ur-powers. This was, of course, why they were all here, to train and to learn how to use their innate abilities. If one wanted to raise their skills, or become a Hero, this was where they went to do so.
The Superbium, being the main regulatory body for those with ur-powers, had offices and institutions much like this one in cities across the globe. What made this one different was that this particular Academy was a part of the original Superbium HQ, located as it was in the capital city of Terra.
Big City, the largest city on Terra, situated on Big Island, an Australia sized continent located in what used to be the Bermuda Triangle. Big Island is home to such notable features as Big Forest, Big Bay, and most excitingly of all, Big Volcano. Surrounding these appropriately named locations was a ring of mountainous islands called, of course, Big Mountains.
The original settlers hadn’t exactly been very inventive with their naming scheme, having been a touch more concerned with surviving the monsters and altered environments at the time than with creating cultures. It wasn’t like they were wrong to name them those things, because they were all, in fact, quite large.
“Now remember, we’re here to complete your training! If you survive, you’ll be able to graduate and join the venerated ranks of the Superbium as an official Sidekick!”
Excited murmurs ran through the crowd. This was it, this was what they’d all been working for! A Sidekick! Just one large step away from becoming a fully fledged Hero! Or even a Villain, if one wished. There was no shortage of either one, with many teams actively recruiting even here, before graduation. Taking hold of one corner of the cloth, The Headmaster ripped it away.
Hushed gasps of awe whispered out through the auditorium. A Portal! Simple in construction, the Portal was nothing more than an oversized metal door frame covered in light indicators and tubes. A series of steps led up to the empty rectangular frame. Hooked up to the Portal was a large control panel, and in front of that, a vacant office chair.
Taking his seat at the operator box, The Headmaster turned to face the crowd again. “As you can see here, I have a Portal. I will be using this Portal to send each and every one of you to random locations across the island. There are five other Portals arranged around the Island. These portals will return you here, to Big City, but only for the next month. There are no rules other than that. Make it through a Portal and you will be given your graduation certificate.
If, and that’s a very big if, you are among the first twenty-five to return alive, you will be rewarded with your first Star rank!
The rest of you will have to work your way up from a zero star, or rot, it doesn’t matter. We gave you your training, it’s up to you to make use of it.
Honestly, I don’t really care if any of you do make it back. You can live in the forest as a traveling Adventurer for all time for all I care.” The Headmaster allowed the jeering murmurs to settle before continuing.
“Now, as for how this works, I’ll be randomizing the coordinates. Do note that there are some areas off limits across the island. You’ll know them by their protective force fields. Any areas with force barriers will be detected and avoided by the Portal to prevent teleporting anyone near them.
Do NOT bypass these areas! They are designed to keep things in, not out! You WILL be disqualified! They are sealed off for a reason! Either for research, private land, or public safety reasons, it doesn’t matter.
What does matter is if you can return to a Superbium outpost in any city. All students will be provided with one (1) emergency escape spell. Please be aware that the usage of an emergency escape spell will not return you to the Academy grounds, but it will send you to another random location.
Along with your emergency escape spell, you will also be automatically assigned a kit when you pass through the Portal. Some food, water, and a few essential tools and gear suitable for your location and talents. If those of you who use equipment to facilitate their ur-powers, well, it’s too late to go back and get them now!”
With that, the Headmaster turned to the console. “I hope everyone is prepared! Because if not, well, it was nice knowing ya!” He laughed, fingers flying over buttons and levers. A few moments later, the Portal whirred to life. Swirling whites and blacks filled the frame in a kaleidoscope of clashing lights.
Turning around, he addressed the crowd. “We will now commence the graduation ceremony! When your name is called, please make your way to the front. In no particular order, let’s start with Aaron Aardvarkian.”
A nervous looking beastkin in an Academy regulation-issue jumpsuit walked up to the front. Jeers rang out, and someone threw a wad of paper at the aardvark man. Before it could hit, Aaron flashed out his tongue, snapping up the paper into his mouth. A quick chew and swallow, and it was gone. Blowing raspberries at his detractors, he stepped through the portal.
“That’s one down, a couple hundred more to go. Alright, next, we have Abby Appleton. Abby Appleton, you’re next.”
×+×+×+×
[Who: The Narrator]
[Where: Same as Before]
[When: Graduation Ceremony]
Sprigg Greanleaf listened with half of her attention while the Headmaster gave his little spiel. She wasn’t overly worried about the challenge. Instead, she was reading through her spell book, and trying to ignore the jabs of her classmates at her expense.
”Aww, is the little lettuce-head reading her little book? Hey, get a load of this nerd!” Greyash nudged his neighbor, pointing at Sprigg. “Pfft, compensating for something, nerd? Why the magic book, huh? No ur-powers?”
Sprigg just rolled her emerald green eyes, and returned to her book. The three broad leaves sticking out of the vines of her hair bounced with the motion of her head, and Greyash laughed.
”Ooh, lettuce-head didn’t like that! You hear that, Greyash?”
”I sure did, Fangred. What are you gonna do about it, lettuce-head? Gonna photosynthesize at us?”
Fangred and Greyash, Sprigg’s self-proclaimed nemesis. A laser-emitting beastkin resembling a vampire bat, and an ashen fae, respectively. The two of them, along with others in their clique, had been the bane of her entire stay here at the Academy. She’d done her best to ignore them, focusing on her studies and training. Sprigg was no fool, she was well aware that her chances of surviving Graduation were abysmally low.
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As Greyash had said, she had no ur-power of her own. Requiring other means of reaching her goals of becoming more than just a Sidekick, she’d set her sights on magecraft.
”Haha, little lettuce-head not gonna say anything? Oh wait, vegetables can’t talk! Hahahack-coff blagch—” He continued coughing for a few moments, the powdery substance that was his namesake pouring out of his mouth. Greyash, as his name implied, was made entirely of ash and coals. Two glowing orange coals sat where his eyes would be, the only distinct feature in the humanoid cloud.
Redfang thumped Greyash on the back with his paw. Greyash slapped him back. “I’m fine, you idiot! Hit her, not me!”
Unphased, Redfang grinned, his signature red fangs on full display. ”Little girl can’t even talk! How’s she gonna use spells if she can’t even chant?”
In response, Sprigg raised a green hand, drawing the attention of the two bullies. She then raised her left hand, wrapping it around an imaginary handle adjacent to her other hand. Now appearing to be holding an invisible fishing rod, she mimed reeling it in.
As she did so, a middle finger rose up in response. She looked at her fist in feigned shock at the rude gesture, then looked back at Greyash and Redfang. She stuck out her tongue in defiance.
“Did the vegetable just say what I think it said?”
”You heard her,” said the book in Sprigg’s lap. “She said you can bleep it and stick it where the sun don’t shine, you #@&%!”
Sprigg rolled her eyes at the book.
”Whaa? I’m not making things worse, I’m just defending you! Don’t give me that look!”
Huffing, Sprigg pointed at the portal, then to Greyash and Redfang, finally tapping a watch on her wrist. Holding up five fingers, she gestured at Redfang and Greyash again with the other hand. She then swiped a finger across her throat, and laughed silently.
“You’re being optimistic, girlie, if you think they’re going to last that long. Just ignore them. Remember your training! You got this!”
Sprigg nodded, and returned to perusing the book.
“What makes you think you’re so much better than us?” Greyash raised a fist, ready to spew a cloud of superheated ash at the diminutive Sprigg. Redfang stretched out a wing, blocking him.
”Not here, not now, you idiot! Lettuce-head will be a dead-head pretty soon, she doesn’t stand a chance. Remember the plan!”
Greyash let out a long sigh, ash streaming from where nostrils and a mouth would be. “Fine, fine. When next we meet, lettuce-head, prepare for the pruning of a lifetime! If you even make it long enough!”
”Greyash Hearthston, you’re up!” The voice of the Headmaster rang out.
“Looks like that’s my cue. See you later, or not, veg-head.” Moments later, Greyash stepped through the Portal and vanished.
”Redfang Bateson, step up please!”
”And that one’s mine. Bye, dweeb! Hope you fry!” Greyash flapped his powerful wings, muscles rippling under short brown fur and the fabric of his jumpsuit. He lifted into the air with a gust, flapping his way into the portal. With a flash of arcing lights, he too disappeared.
”I would just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that I am randomly reading these names off, in no particular order. With that said, next up is Sprigg Greanleaf. Sprigg Greanleaf, please step forward.”
Sprigg slammed her spellbook shut, tucking it under her arm. “Oh, I hate when you do that,” muttered a muffled voice, inaudible with the noise of the room. She adjusted her grip and moved the thick leather and brass bound book to her chest in a tight hug between her arms. “Mmm. Better. We’ll work on it.”
Paper airplanes and pencils were thrown at her as she walked to the Portal. Heckles and booing came from the crowd, throwing hate as well as office supplies. Finally at the base of the stairs that led to the ominous looking artificial rift in Reality, she hesitated for a brief moment.
At a mere meter in height, the Portal dwarfed her by several times. It was awe-inspiring, really, to see how far humanity had come in taming the forces of Unreality. The black and white light within pinwheeled, spinning hypnotically.
Glowing brightly, it appeared to be a solid surface of glass. Holding onto her book with one hand, she reached out a finger with the other, approaching the Portal with new-found awe.
”Nuh uh, I ain’t having any internal monologuing of the wonders of a hole in the very fabric of space-time! Get in there, tiny!”
On her back, Sprigg felt the hard soles of a boot impact her. Thrown off balance by the force of the kick, she fell into the portal even as she tried to catch herself in the air.
A silent sensation of falling through ink, dark with white streaks, or was it white with dark streaks? Everything spun as the universe chewed on her for an endlessly long moment, deciding whether she was worth the flavor or to spit her out somewhere.
Eventually, the universe decided she wasn’t edible. With a dissatisfied ptooie! , she found herself once more in ordinary Reality. In her left hand was her spellbook, held tight to her chest, and dangling from a strap in her right hand, a knapsack.
×+×+×+×
[Who: Sprigg Greenleaf]
[Where: AAAAH!]
[When: Twenty minutes later]
Music, balloons, and paper streamers fly past me as I weave through food stalls. Dear gods! I’ve just got the absolute worst luck! That Portal sent me right into a circus! A clown colony! A gods-be-damned clown colony!
Nasty little buggers when they’re feral like this. I was hoping I would have at least a day or two before something like this. So many clowns of all types, from common screaming meanies to the jack’s harlequin chasing me. Giggling, long limbed, and disproportionately large hands and feet, the things are covered in ruffles and bells.
Bells jingle as they chase me, alerting more and more of the multi-colored white-faced creatures. Red noses honk, and oversized feet squeak. The cacophony of horns and bells grow louder.
I look behind me. A mistake, I discover, as I almost stumble on a discarded popcorn bucket. Scores of the creepy things are building up back there, screeching and honking. Many of them are wielding balloons twisted into nasty looking weapons, waving them around threateningly. Eep!
”Don’t look behind you, just focus on running,” urged the book clutched tight in my arms.
That would be PAGe, my Personal Automized Grimoire. My companion and occasional voice. Yeah, thanks for the late warning, PAGe!
I swing my knapsack over my shoulder. I hadn’t even had time to look through it when I’d been spotted by the boss harlequin back there. I’ve been running for the past twenty minutes now, and I still haven’t seen an end to this place.
I can’t keep running like this forever! It’s regretful, but I think I’m going to have to use that emergency escape spell early.
Keeping my eyes on the path ahead of me, I dig around in the Academy-issued bag. I pull out one item after another, glancing briefly at them before putting them back in.
Expandable camp shovel. Useless.
Bag of fertilizer. Useless.
Change of jumpsuit. Useless.
Frayed rope, half-empty box of matches, mushroom field spotting guidebook. Watercolor paints, no brushes or canvas. All useless in this situation.
Terracotta flower pot. Useless, and possibly racist.
Ah! There it is! I press the button on the metal ball that contains the emergency spell. Nothing happens. I’m panting heavily now, exhausting quickly.
Oh no, is it broken? It’d be just my luck if it were. Clearly whoever packed my bag has it in for me. I shake the spell-ball and press the button again.
Still nothing. Frustrated, I toss it to the ground. It bounces back up and hits me in the chest. The spell-ball remains stuck there, a wad of chewing gum keeping it in place. I move to pull it off, to see better, but it’s no use. The gum stretches, but doesn’t break, snapping right back into place.
Click. Whirr. Bzzzt ding ding clink.
Kthunk kthunk kthunk. Smoke comes out of it.
Uh oh. That sounds… bad. I think I broke something in there, and worse, I’m running on the last dregs of my stamina. It begins to vibrate, still firmly attached to my chest.
”Warning! Unreality values spiking! Now approaching dangerous levels of instability! We had a good run. It was nice knowing ya, Sprigg Greenleaf.”
FLASH!
White and black light blinds me for a second, and I’m in a warehouse full of computers. Honk! Honk! Bleep! They’re still behind me! Maybe I can lock th—
FLASH!
—em in after… me… there is no ground under me, and I am falling. Below me is a volcanic crater, lava flowing from it. Clowns flail all around me, still trying to—
FLASH!
—a cavern of crystals—
FLASH!
—a herd of triceratops, staring at a fire in the sky—
FLASH!
—fountains of bloo—
FLASH!
—sting of radia—
FLASH!
—salt spray fills my mou—
FLASH!
Colors and sounds spin past me in dizzying flickers, over and over again. Through it all, only a few clowns are lost from the mob chasing me. Over and over, it speeds up, allowing me only glimpses of where I’m teleporting into.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
FLASH! FLASH!
FLASH!
Eventually, the teleports slow down. I’m not doing too hot, and from the looks of the clowns, neither are they. Several of their ranks are missing, and the exposure to such different environments in such rapid succession had affected the remainder as much as it was affecting me.
…Flash.
The metal orb fell down, tearing my skin off with it. Heat and smoke wafted from it. I grasp at the charred wound in my chest, my life sap oozing away. Woozy, I look at the book in my hand. I’d lost hold of the knapsack at some point, but at least I still have PAGe, I thought wearily.
I shake the spell book, but there’s no response.
I stumble away from the disoriented clowns behind me. I have to get away from here, and now is my chance!
I walk, and I walk. For what feels like hours, I walk. More and more sap leaks from the hole in my chest, and my pace slows.
Ahead, I see what looks to be an abandoned campsite. In a half-built circle of stones, a pile of pine cones lay there. With my matches lost along with my knapsack, I’d have to start a fire the old fashioned way.
No time to worry about that! Amber sap drips through my fingers, weakening me with every drop lost. I need to sit down somewhere safe, somewhere where I can patch myself up. Somewhere to rest…
Ah! Finally! Luck! There’s a brick shack set into this hill here! I hope whoever owns it doesn’t mind me borrowing it. I need a healing spell, and I need one now. But alas, my grimoire seems to be offline, and without her, I can’t use my spells.
I’ll just have to make do with what I have. Wrap myself in the torn remnants of my uniform, apply pressure to the wound. Yeah, that sounds good. I enter the shack, my eyes adjusting painfully to the sudden change to darkness.
A nap sounds good too. I’ll just… sit down… right… here. Don’t close your eyes! Not yet! I tear my uniform into long strips, and pack them into the gaping hole in my chest. Wake up soon, PAGe. I’ll just rest my …head here… for. a little… while…