"NO- I mean- no. Jared I do not want a cookie."

"Fine, but you don't have to be so offended by it, baka!"

I run away with a hidden smirk on my face, who wouldn't after a nice refreshing amount of teasing? You can't exactly call it teasing though, more like a death sentence by angered women. It's the simple fact people hate me so much that I relish in, but it's still nice to have at least a few friends, thus the introduction of my male friend, aka the guy trying to keep his composure after I offered food to him.

This young lads name is Michael, a rather classic name by my standards. He doesn't have a temper at all, making his pride the target of my teasing. My sole purpose for living is to see the day this mass of white muscle crack, and I will be the one to make that happen! Michael is fairly popular with the ladies because of his natural composure and tilt-proof attitude. When ever one of his fan girls try to make a move on him he simply introduces them to me, that's when their faces wrinkle in disgust and they forever begone from our sight, something I refer to as a "true work of art".

"Don't do it again." Michael drops as deadpan as possible, his eyes are cold and scary...

"..."

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Since I live alone there is never a need to worry about appearances! The wonderful perks of secluded life in an apartment building and thin walls~!

Time for a small introduction of myself! Jared, 14, a bit small for my age, likely mental problems, a tendency to attract hate for some unknown reason, and random in every way as my mum likes to put it. All done!

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

If you're wondering about what my mental problems are, how sweet of you! Sorry, no spoilers here, or free lan.

...

..What do I say now?

...

I check the clock on my wall, 10:04 PM. I was already tired, so this is perfect timing. I flop down on my bed, clothes still on, and let the cold, dark, numerous hands pull me into sleep.

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"WAKE UP LAZY BOY IT'S TIME FOR WORK!"

Ugh... I'm here again...

"GET YOUR SWORD THE MORNING PATROL FOUND SOME MONSTERS!"

"STOP SCREAMING!"

"Sorry..."

The small "kid" who screamed me awake cowers a bit. Too bad I already know better than to fall for that pity trick, old man! His name is Larry, and the correct theory is that he is an illusion mage that has some weird fetish of trying to trick people into thinking he is what ever he looks like. Larrys real age is somewhere around 40, a pitiful age to be doing tricks like this.

A try to shrug off the resisting bits of sleep left on me and crawl over to my sword. It's a beautiful sword, in terms of how precious it is to me, of course. The blade is around 1 to 1 and a half feet long and covered in runes to aid in any magic I might need to use. Despite being a katana, the blade has no curve and the hilt has no guard, a fascinating, dangerous, and ultimately cool combo.

I walk sluggishly towards the chaos on the northern wall of Aln, a very strange sight indeed. The gate is nearly broken down and the patrol leader is desperately yelling orders to soldiers around him. It's a bit pitiful to see his face light up when he spots the "village hero".

"Sun god, I beseech thee to- *yawn* cleanse the evil of this world and bring about peace. [Holy Light]." I mutter the spell in such a way that it's a miracle the incantation worked. My sword lights up as I swing it half-heartedly at the gate, sending a blade of light passing through the wood and burning what ever disgusting animal was behind it, goblins most likely.

Even with my great show of power, I'm only level 15. As you can guess, this village is VERY weak and depends upon a sole person to protect it. My daily visits to this world are otherwise uneventful aside from an occasional Dark Boar that got lost.

I collapse forward in exhaustion of using a spell immediately after waking up, and go to sleep on this cozy floor.