The crystal clear water of a tiny, yet lively stream glittered with the touch of early sunlight, livening up the tranquil landscape of the surrounding verdant green forest with it’s joyful trickling. It’s turquoise-blue surface splashed merrily against the sharp rocks embedded in the otherwise lush river bank, overgrown with all kinds of wildflowers and ferns. A handful of petite rounded pebbles seemed to swirl around chaotically as the vigorous undercurrents whisked them around, along their way to a small pond.
A gentle gust of wind rustled the young leaves crowning the majestic oaks, perhaps praising them for providing shelter to this breath-takingly beautiful scenery with their thick, healthy branches. They have been standing vigil over this fertile land for ages, together with their faithful companions, the withered mossy stones, which in turn provided refuge for those of the animal kingdom, who would otherwise find themselves lost within the sea of dense undergrowth.
However, the wind itself still carried a hint of chill, a remnant of the days of winter that have come to pass not too long ago. The last patches of snow were mere memories now, but mother nature still remembered them well.
There was but one thing amiss within this sanctuary of life. It would appear, that the jovial stream, always the little rascal, has brought along with it an uninvited, though not unwelcome guest. The visitor did not appear to be showing any signs of life, but then again, those of the fae descent possess neither the heartbeat, nor the need to breathe of other living beings.
It would appear, that our tiny visitor’s time of slumber was nearing it’s end, as the little pixie finally showed signs of movement.
***[POV: the pixie]***
A feeling of urgency and dread the likes of which I have never experienced before were the first two things to greet me in the morning, as I woke up in an unfamiliar place.
“The Mage!”
The thought rang in my mind the very moment my hazy consciousness regained some of it’s usual focus. I started frantically looking around, searching for the visage of the one man I needed to avoid at any, and all costs. He was nowhere to be seen, but that did not mean he wasn’t close. I needed to hurry up and run!
A pained whimper escaped my mouth as I forced my bruised and battered body to move, pushing my shaky hands underneath the freezing cold water in an attempt to stand up and keep moving. My limp, aching wings were drenched through and through, adding a whole new layer of difficulty to the task at hand, but I did not care. I pushed with all my might, raising little by little above the surface, but I lost balance as my hand slipped on a submerged stone that I have been using as support, sending me right back below the waters of the shallow pond.
A cry that was a mix of agitation, anguish, frustration and fear forced it’s way out of me, but I didn’t relent in my efforts. If I couldn’t stand up, I would crawl.
“Just a little… more!”
I was panting heavily by the time I felt the good old dry ground beneath the scraped, aching palms of my hands. Getting out of the water took all I had and it was merely the beginning of what was waiting ahead of me. But I had no time to spare, and I was afraid, so very afraid. The overpowering fright had cast a shadow on my mind, pushing all thoughts but those of escaping out of the reach of my reason.
“He’s coming. He’s coming for me. He’s coming to kill me!” my head was repeating that one thought, over and over again, like a broken record. The injuries, the exhaustion, the hunger, the pain… all irrelevant. Even if I could no longer fly, I would use my two feet to run. If I couldn’t run anymore, I would crawl, I would grovel and I would bite the ground with my teeth and pull myself forth would the rest of my body stop listening to me.
“I! WILL! GET! AWAY!”
I took a deep breath and gathered all of my remaining strength. It was nothing short of a miracle that I did somehow manage to stand up. All the muscles in my body screamed in protest of this foolishness, but the pain was nothing compared to what would be waiting for me if I stayed here.
Right foot, left foot, and then right again. I took my first, shaky and unsteady steps, not unlike those of a newborn calf. They were slow, and unsightly, but they felt liberating. I was running away at last.
***
A sudden jolt of pain brought clarity back to my hazy mind, as my injured right wing brushed against an old, dried up branch laying atop the forest floor. I had no idea how long I have been walking. I wasn’t paying attention. I was too scared to look back and I didn’t care where I was headed in the first place. All I wanted was to run away.
But now that I have finally managed to calm down a little bit, I felt so incredibly tired. I was hurt pretty badly, and it felt as if I couldn’t take even a single step further without collapsing on the spot.
“What am I doing…” I sighed loudly, feeling the last traces of determination snap beneath the weight of the overwhelming exhaustion.
“I can’t run away from someone so much bigger than me on these two tiny feet.”
I felt like giving up. I just wanted to rest. I needed to take a break, replenish my energy.
For a second, I was nearly overcome with the desire to let myself faint right where I stood, but I steeled my mind and decided to find a suitable spot to recover from my fatigue first.
Taking a good long look at my surroundings, I spotted a rocky mound of irregularly shaped pale boulders assert it’s dominance over the otherwise level landscape. The stones were being bathed in the glory of the sun, it’s warm golden rays penetrating the greedy dense canopy, giving the scene an almost mythical atmosphere. Oh how I longed to dive into that radiant stream of light that felt like home.
If I was to collapse and die somewhere, let it be there, surrounded by what I love the most in this world.
I could almost feel the pain fading as I lifted my feet anew. Even if my body didn’t feel any better, I could tell I sported a brand new smile on my lips.
***
My body collapsed the very moment I felt the familiar heat touch my skin. Afterwards it didn’t take much longer for my mind to venture into the realm of dreams. My heart was calm, and for the first time in a long while, I felt an almost imperceptible tinge of happiness bloom in my heart.
***
A sudden feeling of alarm, of something bad, REALLY bad happening sent a cold shiver down my spine, waking me up from my sleep.
“Something’s wrong” surfaced in my mind as I once again succumbed to the state of panic, hurriedly searching my surroundings for any signs of hostile movement. But there was nothing.
I still couldn’t get the danger off my mind, but I couldn’t place it. There was nothing around me that I could attribute my current condition to, yet here it was, and it was here to stay.
Trying my best not to fall victim to paranoia, I stood up, remaining vigilant of any possible impending attacks. And yet still, nothing happened.
Relaxing a little bit, though not completely, I noticed that the sun has moved quite a bit of a distance on it’s journey across the skies, leaving me behind in the shade.
[So heartless…] I complained to the blob of plasma floating high above, not really expecting an answer.
I have recovered, though not nearly enough to be at my full strength. In the first place, what strength did I even possess? I was always merely an observer, never doing anything myself, be it moving, fighting or… living.
To rid myself of the bad thoughts invading my mind, I decided to take a stroll and catch up to the one thing I craved more than any other - light.
But the sun’s position was bad and merely a trickle of light managed to pass through the wall of leaves that stretched above my head. If I wanted to bathe in it’s splendor for even a moment longer, I’d either have to climb up the rocky mound, or one of the towering trees.
Going with the easier option, I started unsteadily ascending up the coarse, dry stones. I was being very careful at first, making sure to always find stable footing, not to slip on one of the mossy patches covering the rough surface. But with each new step, I gained confidence in my movements, and started getting bolder.
That, however, was a mistake. A mistake that led to my downfall... or in other words, a pebble gave way underneath my feet as I was reaching the top and I got to know mister rock fairly intimately, with my face.
As I was lamenting my clumsiness, mainly via the ache on my face, I heard something that would make my heart stop, was it beating in the first place.
[Hisssssssss]
Slowly turning my head towards the source of the sound, I found myself staring into the abyss of darkness within a pair of bright yellow slitted eyes, and that darkness was staring right back at me.
[Hisssssss]
I swear I could see all colour drain from the world. My insides clenched and tightened, as unknown pressure assaulted my throat, threatening to spill out of me... could I actually vomit fear?
[HISSSSSSSSSS]
Running, screaming, crying, begging, if I could, I would do any of those, but I just stood there frozen in place, for that was the only action my stiffened body permitted.
The snake way eying me, unsure of what I was. I was extremely lucky to still be alive after disturbing the creature’s rest. Agitated snakes usually strike first, and ask questions later, or so suggested Silvia’s memories. However, these few precious extra seconds of my life were apparently all that my luck amounted to, for I saw no way to escape this situation.
In a flash, everything changed. I could see the snake striking at me, it’s long pointy teeth dripping with venom piercing my body.
“Noo!”
Closing my eyes, perhaps for the very last time, I stood in fear, genuinely expecting never to see the light of the day again. But then a tiny, weak voice whispered to me: “run you fool!”.
A sudden surge of power rushed into my body, breaking the chains of fear that bound my limbs in place, and just in the nick of time, I managed to dive sideways, barely avoiding the snake’s jaws of death.
The force of the sudden jump sent me over the edge of the mound. Trying desperately to lessen the impact of the impending landing, I spread my wings wide in an attempt to decelerate.
My right wing was still in no condition to fly, but at the very least I managed to transform my free fall into a glide, albeit one that was rapidly losing altitude.
I landed with a tumble, shooting out from my crouching position into a sprint, not daring to turn around to see whether the snake decided to give chase.
And then I ran again. I ran, and I ran, and I ran some more. I didn’t stop running until I stumbled upon a modest forest clearing, only then finding it within me to look back to check whether the snake ended up following me.
Confirming that I was safe... for the moment, I started weighing my options. I needed to find a safe place to rest and recover fully, for I would not survive this forest without the use of my wings.
Then I stopped thinking, frozen in place by the sudden revelation. For the first time since my escape, I realised that I was not alone within these ancient woods. There were predators; wolves, foxes, wild cats, birds of prey, and… and… snakes.
“What am I doing...” I hung my head down in shame. I have been blindly running from danger that I could not see, that maybe wasn’t even there in the first place… would the mage actually dare venture into these woods without any magic to protect himself with? No, he still had some magic left in him, and I definitely shouldn’t underestimate his obstinacy.
Still, I ended up getting into a situation that might have culminated with my death. I wasn’t thinking at all, the days I spent learning from Silvia utterly wasted, and for what? Just so that I could get a couple hundred meters away from where I started? How dumb could I get before I ended up killing myself…
A sudden rustle from the dense bushes across the flowery meadow interrupted the onset of depression that was poised to claw at my sanity with it’s poisonous mocking voice, once again reminding me of where I was, and what I needed to do. Alert and ready, I crouched, prepared to flee the moment the enemy revealed itself.
But the rustle subsided as quickly as it had arrived, leaving me startled and weary.
There would be time to reflect upon my shortcomings later, provided I’ll somehow manage to pull through this situation.
Realising that nothing was coming, I decided to find a safe spot to recover once again, and so I started searching for any clues that might help me pick a suitable one.
The first option that I came up with was something that was almost instinctual to all of my kin. Most spirits don’t find themselves in predicaments like this. How so? Well, they rarely have physical bodies after all. It’s just that I have spent such a long time inside of this body of ours, that I have nearly forgotten how it feels to be free of it’s constraints. Seeing as I have already… “disposed” of the amulet that the mage used to cast his spells, it wouldn’t be unrealistic for the spell that bound me to this body to have already dissipated, right?
But the moment I tried escaping the hold of this physical vessel of mine, the accursed marks flared with violet light, forcefully pulling me back, not allowing the release I craved.
I was angry, oh so angry. I was fed up with my aching body, with this forest, with everything. Channeling all that pent up anger, I tried letting go of my body once more. I could feel the threads of the spell pulling me back, blocking my way out, but I threw all that burning rage and boiling frustration at them, my raging soul biting, and kicking, and struggling like a mad beast! I just wanted to vent, I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. But something did. Something snapped at that moment, with a bang.
[Oh…] escaped my mouth as I felt the force that bound me to this plane of existence lessen ever so slightly. I looked at my forearms, marks on them slowly fading into nothingness. After inspecting my body more closely, I discovered that the marks on my shins were now a thing of the past as well.
With renewed determination, I tried even harder. I struggled, cursed, and shouted… the marks didn’t budge in the slightest. I was not strong enough to break them yet.
If I were to continue like this, I would only exhaust myself before I could find a place to sleep. Dejected, I decided to move on.
Feeling a little hopeful, perhaps encouraged by the little glide from earlier, I tried flapping my wings once, but the piercing pain that shot up my back seemed to disagree with this notion. If anything, the glide has made it worse.
In the end I had to resort to my last option. I had to try and search through the memories we shared with Silvia, the ones of our “adventures” in the forest. I didn’t like those. There was a lot of pain to be remembered there, and a lot of killing as well.
The expression on my face as I went through each and every single one of them, or at least the ones that I could recall, probably wasn’t pleasant in the slightest, and it must have gotten even worse when after scouring each of them several times over, I was forced to accept that I still held no answers to my question. I was out of options.
“I am lost.”
I had no idea how to get out of this situation. We never had any survival training, be it in Silvia’s previous life, or this one. The mage would always require of us to return to the tower before sunset, and her previous life ended, well, prematurely.
I looked up at the sky, feeling despair carving it’s ugly mark on my soul, as the first tear rolled down my cheek.
[I want to go home.]
I wanted to see my kin, to dance with them once again under the light of the moon. To welcome each and every new day with laughter and happiness. To feel the gentle caress of sun, all the while racing towards distant horizons basked in the rays of it’s light.
“I want to go home.”
I couldn’t even see my brethren with these eyes of flesh that I was cursed with now. I felt alone, so alone. Even Silvia was gone. Her presence alone made it possible for me to bear the crushing loneliness throughout the days of my imprisonment. And now, she has left me too.
I was alone, abandoned.
***
Deciding that it was better to look for a sanctuary on a high ground, as that would at the very least provide me with some measure of safety against the bigger, land-bound predators, I climbed up an old, crooked tree, reaching for an abandoned nest.
Hugging my knees tightly, I curled into a ball. I wanted the world to disappear even if only for a moment, to let me wrestle with my grief. But I dared not cover myself with my wings, unwilling to obstruct my field of vision in case one of the flying predators decided to attack me while I was vulnerable.
“I don’t want to be here.”
***
My peaceful sleep was interrupted by the sound of loud croaking and angry cawing. I must have nodded off, as it was already deep at night. The all-encompassing darkness that had descended upon the forest hid whatever was happening from my sight, but I could make out the shape of an old, grizzled raven, it’s glossy feathers reflecting the little light that remained. It appeared to be frantically attacking something, and that “something” was climbing up the rugged trunk of the tree that I was resting on.
As my sight slowly adjusted to the lack of light, I laid my eyes upon the elongated body of a snake, that was slowly, but steadily making it’s way up towards my temporary base.
I must have still been sleepy, as this time, panic didn’t claim me as easily as it did before. Instead, I just observed the whole situation calmly, as if it wasn't me that was in danger at that moment, as if... it didn't even matter.
The ancient bird didn’t relent in it’s attacks, raiding the snake’s position time and time again, it’s sharp claws and razor beak slowing the serpent’s ascent. The snake was in a desperate situation, and was soon faced with having to make a choice. It would either retreat, or risk injury.
The serpent apparently arrived at the conclusion, that I was simply not worth the trouble. Then it turned around and left.
Turning my head groggily towards the approaching sound of flapping wings, I saw the glistening black feathers fold along the raven’s body, as it landed mere centimeters away from me.
There the ghastly grim and ancient raven perched and sat, and nothing more.
At first, it merely tilted it’s head with a curious look on it’s face, perhaps pondering over what to do with the little creature that laid claim to it’s nest, but then it nudged me very gently, a signal for me to make space.
I was still unsure whether any of this was even real, it all might have been just a dream, brought about by my wish to be protected, mixed with the emotions I experienced in the aftermath of the encounter with the slithering predator during the day.
Perhaps I might have been too exhausted to think clearly, or perhaps it all unfolded just too fast for my reason to get a chance to kick in and slap the hell out of the drowsy, defenseless me, but I ended up thoughtlessly moving over, allowing the raven to join me inside of the nest.
Together there, high atop the tree, the two of us headed off into the realm of dreams.
***[POV: the old raven]***
The old raven returned from it’s hunt only to find it’s nest occupied by what seemed to be an oddly shaped bird. The creature looked sickly, most of the feathers on it’s body probably having fallen out because of an illness, only the ones on it’s wings remaining. But there was something else ailing the visitor, the raven could tell.
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You wouldn’t live to become an old hunter in these woods if you could not tell which prey was the easiest to catch, and discerning the health of it’s targets was just one of the many skills the raven had acquired over the course of it’s long life.
But the raven wasn’t hungry right now, as it had just returned from a successful hunt. Unwilling to risk catching whichever disease troubled the oddly shaped bird, the ancient bird decided to wait, and see. Patience was, after all, another important virtue for a hunter to have.
It perched atop one of the higher branches, observing the creature curiously. It has been a long time since her nest was occupied by anyone besides herself. A long time indeed...
It didn’t always use to be like that. There was life, there were her young, there was her mate. But that all came to an end when one day, she returned to their home only to find a snake swallowing the last of her family.
She was enraged, she wanted to attack it, to destroy it, but the snake was too big and she was too weak. All she could do was chase it away, away from their home that now housed only her, and the hollow solitude that remained where once life was.
The tiny creature reminded her of those times. Small, weak, just like herself back then, just like her young. The raven found itself staring at the sickly invader, somehow completely missing the silvery glimmer that ran across it’s skin.
And so, she continued observing the little sleeping thing, as the last light of the day parted it’s way with the very tops of the highest trees.
***
It was the deepest part of night, when neither the glitter of the milky stars, nor the glow of the silvery pale moon could penetrate the charcoal-black darkness that took hold of her homeland, as her keen eyes spotted movement along the trunk of the tree.
It was here again, to claim something that was hers by right. She would not let the beast have it this time.
***[POV: the pixie]***
[AaaAAAaaAa!] A bloodcurdling scream pierced the chilly morning air. The origin of the scream, me, was staring in horror at the gargantuan bird that was currently laying right next to me.
The raven obviously got startled by the scream, for it took no longer than a second for the creature to scurry off in a panicked flight, leaving me behind. However, it didn’t take long for the bird to find it’s bearings, as it glared at me angrily, grumpy that I disturbed it’s peaceful sleep.
Looping around the tree several times, the raven made sure there was no hidden danger lurking in the shadows before returning to the nest.
[Eeek…] I shrieked as it approached me again. The raven seemed to have come to some sort of understanding of it’s own, as instead of landing, which was undoubtedly it’s original intention, it just glided past me, heading off towards the other side of the meadow.
At first I was feeling glad to be rid of the danger looming over me, but then I remembered what happened last night.
“So it wasn’t a dream after all…” I froze up, a stiff expression appearing on my face.
“Did I just spend a night nestled up against a deadly predator?” I couldn’t believe how careless I was! But there was another question that popped up in my head following soon afterwards.
“If so, then how come I am still alive?”
“Was the raven truly protecting me? Or was it just keeping me fresh for a quick snack later?”
I didn’t get much of a chance to contemplate the implications of either of the two options any further, as the raven returned swiftly to the nest. And it was not alone.
[Hurk...] I nearly vomited as the bird dropped a bloodied carcass of a small rodent right in front of me. It was still twitching!
Looking at me expectantly, the bird nudged it’s catch, turning it around in the process and exposing it’s yellow teeth and torn belly, guts spilling out of it in a nightmarish fashion.
[Aaaaaaaaa!] I screamed, expelling all the air I held within my lungs. The raven only looked at me patiently, waiting.
“This is disgusting! How could it do such a thing to an innocent creature!” I felt hot tears drip from my eyes, as agitation slowly turned into pure, unrestrained anger. Turning my eyes filled to the brim with disgust towards the demon, I started shouting:
[HOW COULD YOU!] I raised my voice seething with rage. And yet the raven remained calm, patiently waiting, the expectant look in it’s eyes remaining steadfast in face of my fury.
[It might have had a family! Children!]
“This demon! This beast! This murderer!” I fumed, wrath being the sole playwright of this scene, scripting every word my mouth faithfully repeated, but it didn’t look like any of my emotional turmoil was actually getting through that thick skull of hers.
“Is this creature really any different from the snake?” I despaired for a moment.
The raven seemed to be fed up with waiting, as it hopped sideways a couple of times, ending up right behind me. And then, once again I could feel the gentle nudge of it’s beak on my back, patient and caring.
There was no patience or caring to be found within me at that moment though. The flame of rage was burning bright within my heart, and wasn’t ready to give in just yet.
I flailed around in denial of it’s intentions, blind fury driving me. I hit it with my fists again and again, but I lacked the strength to do any real damage to the beast. It was as if a newborn wanted to spar with a veteran warrior. The raven simply stood there, taking it all.
Exhausting myself once more, I finally managed to calm down. The raven simply nudged me once again, and then at last, the truth of the situation dawned on me...
The raven was, after all, my saviour. And now it was just trying to feed the weak, incompetent me, wasn't it? I shouldn’t have tried to fault it for trying to help me, for trying to survive… I was being unreasonable... again.
“I’m horrible.” The regret fell heavily on me. I was an ingrate.
The raven once again nudged me gently, reminding me of the fact that the one minding my earlier attitude wasn’t my benefactor herself, but me alone.
Snapping out of my daze, I turned to look at the carcass in front of me again. Eating was not something I needed to do to survive, but the concept was not foreign to me either. I used to eat the shiny stones, the elemental gems as the mage had called them before, whenever I got hurt, or spent my mana. Could eating perhaps aid in my recovery this time as well?
I felt disgusted at the notion, but it would also serve as a way to make amends. And I knew I had to try, to repent somehow. If not for the one I had wronged unjustly, then for myself.
It also wouldn’t be nice of me to waste the sacrifice of the rodent, unwilling as it may have been. I reached out with my hands, grabbing onto the meat dripping with lifesblood, as I sunk my teeth into the flesh.
It took all my mental strength to suppress the urge to vomit as I bit into the body of another, a body that was now void of life, for my sake alone. I tried tearing off a small strip of flesh off the side of the carcass, the taste of iron spreading through my mouth, but my jaw simply wasn’t up to the task.
The raven, as always mindful of my needs, assisted. It pecked a tiny bit of meat off the corpse and laid it in front of me.
Picking it up, I readied myself as I felt the nausea return in force. Unwilling to waste my newly acquired friend’s favor, I started chewing.
At first I had trouble swallowing the tough, uncooked meat, but soon enough I got used to it. After the first few gulps, I started feeling invigorated. I couldn’t even imagine how hungry my body must have been.
“But how?” my body was not supposed to be able to experience the feeling of hunger. I knew that this was crucially important to my continued existence as a spirit, and would need to find an answer to this question sooner rather than later, but then, ravenous hunger assaulted my stomach. Losing all semblance of reason, like a starving beast, I threw myself at the prey, and feasted.
***
When I finally came to, there was barely anything left of the body, save for bare bones and a few patches of fur scattered around the nest. The raven had a proud look on her face, as if she had achieved something of significance.
On the other hand, the emotion I was experiencing was that of pure horror.
[What have I… become?]
***
I had spent the rest of the day in silent recuperation. In order to recover from the injuries sustained during my escape, I would normally have to gather my corresponding element’s mana, or take it from another source, but it would seem that the meal from earlier somehow managed to accelerate the rate of my natural regeneration. And that was merely the beginning of all the effects the meat had on my body. I felt stronger, my reflexes got faster and my mind was crystal clear.
The most surprising of all, however, was that I had, for the the first time in my life, actually grown. I failed to notice any difference at first, but when I stood up, I could tell from my heightened line of sight.
Throughout the day, the raven has left the nest several times, flying off into the distance, only to return a few hours later with yet another catch.
During the times she wasn’t gone, my friend seemed to be content with merely observing me, and for that I was thankful. I was unsure of what to think of my present condition, and neither the endless supply of food, nor my unceasing hunger helped in my attempts to reach some kind, any kind of conclusion about what was happening to me at all.
I could not stop myself from indulging in the sin of gluttony, but I felt repulsion towards the act of sustaining my own life with the life of another. With each mouthful of food that I swallowed, the feeling slowly subsided though, and near the end, I had finally come to terms with it.
I could not be the selfless creature that I yearned to be. I have become selfish… perhaps I have always been.
“I might not like the fact, but I MUST accept it, or I will not survive.”
***
[Amazing] I muttered beneath my nose as I flapped my wings. Once, twice… I could barely feel any pain at all.
“It’s healing so fast...” I mused as a small, timid chuckle left my smiling lips.
“This is soo nice.” ran through my head as I tried flapping my wings a bit harder. But I stopped there. Even though the pain in my right wing was mostly gone, I could feel that it was still a bit weak, and would require some more time to make a full recovery.
Turning my head around, I tried looking for something, anything to distract myself with. There has been far too much going on in my life as of late, and I needed some other thoughts to freshen up my overburdened psyche. Seeing as I didn’t want to tackle my inner demons just yet, I tried looking for some kind of entertainment. That’s what people in Silvia’s memories did when times were tough, and I saw no reason to disagree with their methods.
Throughout my life inside of the mage’s tower, I had free access to Silvia’s memories. That’s years of content! Sure, not all of it was amazing, but some bits and pieces were really interesting.
When I first awakened, I couldn’t understand much of what was going on, so I simply went through the memories of all the pretty places she had visited. Crimson sunsets, vibrant forests, lively parks, wondrous cities… I couldn't get enough of it. But those memories ran out pretty fast. Apparently, she wasn’t much of a traveler.
The rest of her memories didn’t make any sense to me back then, as I couldn’t understand all of the words, and any of the writings. So I had to learn. The first few years of her life taught me much of what it feels like to have a loving family, to experience life for the first time.
But as she slowly grew up, many of the wonders of the world lost their appeal somehow, being replaced by the dreary reality of stereotypical routine. What she wanted to do was no longer as relevant as what she had to do, so she started escaping into the world of books. I could not read back then, but she seemed so happy. It inspired me, and awakened within me the thirst for knowledge she possessed as well.
“Oh how I miss her…” I sighed. This wasn’t helping at all. Even my happy memories were turning sour now, so I turned my attention towards something that remained good in my life so far, my new friend.
She was sleeping soundly right next to me, so I just pulled closer, snuggled up, and started drifting off to sleep myself.
***[The next day]***
After what felt like an eternity, but was in fact only a few short days, I was soaring the vast skies once again. And after what indeed was a long time, I wasn’t flying alone. I had a friend with me this time.
Feeling the refreshing sensation of a playful wind caressing the feathers on my now completely healed wings, I reveled in the freedom that I was denied before due to my injuries. This time, I held my emotions firmly in check though, as the memory of the snake’s attack was still freshly etched in my mind.
“I will not let myself go out of control like that EVER again.” too emotional, too careless, I was being simply too naive, and it nearly cost me the ultimate price. Even now, I had to be careful not to draw the attention of the aerial predators, such as hawks and eagles.
I had no idea whether they inhabited this part of the forest, but I would not let myself find out the hard way.
“I might be bigger now, after all those meals perhaps even slightly larger than the raven that I now call a friend, but that is no excuse to get conceited. Slow and steady wins the race.”
Deciding that the brief moment of bliss had to suffice, I landed back inside of our nest. It was time for another meal.
***[Two weeks later]***
I had spent the next few weeks getting stronger, both physically and mentally. The food that my friend provided me with boosted my growth so much, that I could barely fit inside of the nest that would normally house a family of ravens, when we both went to sleep at the same time.
But there was something else that was bothering me as well. My control over the element of light had undergone a transformation. I couldn’t really tell whether it was for the better, or worse. All I knew, was that I was somehow starting to sense the other elements around me as well, and it was overwhelming. I felt as if a whole new dimension of colors, sensations and stimuli opened up to me, and they all rushed inside of my head, demanding attention.
I did remember that Silvia made use of all the elements when she was still in control of my body, but I always thought that to be because of all the training she had undergone under the tutelage of the mage. Honestly, now I was regretting browsing through her memories instead of paying attention to the lectures, as I could have used some spells of my own.
Adjusting to my new powers therefore wasn’t easy, but in spite of all the distractions, I did somehow manage to retain a presence of mind that allowed me to slowly absorb them into me, strengthening me even further. This left me exhausted, and starving, so I ended up eating even more than before.
***
Over the course of the past two weeks, I have noticed a change in my friend. She seemed to be getting… weaker. At first, the difference was negligible, but yesterday she faltered as she was landing at our nest and almost fell down the tree. That got me worried about the state of her health, so I started observing her closer.
Her majestic wings seemed to be lacking strength, as her masterful flight appeared to have become merely an apparition of what it used to be when I saw her for the first time, her glistening glamorous feathers becoming dull and sickly, and above all else, she appeared to be getting thinner.
“How have I not noticed this sooner?”
“Wait, with all the food she always brought to me, did she even get a chance to eat properly herself?” I paled, horrified at the dreadful revelation that announced itself to me immediately afterwards.
“Am I being a parasite on her?” I had decided to accept my selfishness, but I would never accept myself thriving at the cost of my friend’s well being!
[I, I… have to leave.] Yes, I had to leave, lest risk becoming a nuisance that would end up killing my only friend.
But I couldn’t bring myself to. I needed her. Without her, I would be lost, hopeless and… alone. Was there no other choice? Could I not think of another way to solve this situation?
“There has to be a way!!! Yes, if I go hunt alone and bring enough food for the both of us, I will be allowed to stay. Yes, now I will be the one caring for her, repaying the favour. It will work…”
[... but it’s getting dark already, I won’t be able to catch anything in the darkness… In the morning, YES, in the morning I’ll go and catch us some breakfast!] I muttered in a daze.
Turning my head towards my friend, I looked at her sickly visage with regret in my eyes. I would make it right come tomorrow.
I snuggled up to her, trying to ease the pain in my chest. It wasn’t helping, but that was all well. The pain would remain there to remind me that I must make things right when I open my eyes again.
***
The raven stirred, waking up both of us at the same time. It was deep at night, but unlike before, I could see quite well in the darkness. An after effect of my evolution, no doubt.
And because of my improved sight, I could tell the reason my friend was being nervous. Our old nemesis has decided to come pay us a midnight visit, yet again.
Perhaps because of the intense guilt that I was feeling, or maybe because of my budding overconfidence that I failed to extinguish in spite of my best efforts, I decided to take a course of action I would normally never even consider.
I was going to fight.
[This is our nest, creature. This is our home, and this is MY family. You are not welcome here!] I hissed at the approaching predator, firing myself up for what was to come.
The raven took off immediately, but she did not head for the snake. That was good, for this was my fight alone. I would protect her!
I was not the tiny weak creature the snake tried to eat before. I was bigger, I was stronger, I was fiercer. I had feasted on the flesh of another, and I have conquered my fear. I would face it, and I would win.
Cladding my hands in the elemental energies surging all around me, all colour drained from the world.
“Just like that time.” This was our rematch, and I was prepared.
[Aaarrrrrrrgh!] I rushed at my foe with a growl like that of a feral cat, commanding the wind with the force of my wings and closing the distance between us in a second.
I extended my claw-like hands and struck at the startled serpent, causing a couple of bloody gashes to appear on it’s back.
Not wasting a single moment further, the snake retaliated, whipping it’s head sideways in attempt to catch me with it’s fangs, but I could see it striking at me long before it even started moving, and it’s jaws struck empty air.
“I can do this!” I rejoiced, a toothy grin spreading on my face.
Picking the moment when the snake was paying attention to the raven that approached us carefully, I decided to go in for another attack.
But it was a ruse, as the snake was ready and waiting for me. I could see it strike at me again, but this time my rush had too much momentum and I couldn’t stop in time. It’s head sprung forward in a flash, and all I could do to avoid a direct hit was to alter my path sideways. I did avert the immediate crisis, but I still ended up crashing into the thick branch behind the snake.
And that was a chance it would not miss. I could feel the open jaws approaching me from behind, but there simply wasn’t enough time to evade.
In a last ditch effort, I summoned all the elemental power I could muster, and imagined a wall appearing behind my back.
[Argh!] The force of the impact slammed me into the tough, wooden surface, knocking the wind out of me, but I was otherwise intact. A miracle in and of itself.
Seeing the situation take a turn for the worse, my friend came to assist me. Gasping for air and struggling to regain my composure, I wanted to shout at her to stay out of this. To keep herself safe, out of harm’s way.
“I am doing this for her!”
[Run! Don’t fight it!] I shouted at her the moment my breath returned. But she wouldn’t listen. As intelligent as she was, words wouldn’t reach her, and the one she wanted to protect, me, was still within the serpent’s reach.
I flapped my wings hastily, drawing distance from our foe as to avoid exposing her to any more unnecessary danger. We would simply get away and come back once the snake is gone.
[RUN!] I shrieked at her, worry clutching my heart in it’s iron grip.
She turned her head my way, and seemed to understand what I wanted to do, but that opened her defenses to the snake’s next attack.
I knew what was going to happen. I could see it in advance with this grayscale vision of mine, but there was nothing I could do to stop that prediction from coming true. I was too far, and wouldn’t make it no matter how hard I tried.
The snake’s head reached her, it’s venomous fangs piercing her body, delivering the deadly substance into her blood.
[NOOOOO!]
Colours returned to the world, but not the ones that were supposed to. My vision was now dyed in savage, crimson red and turbulent pulsating violet. I was burning. Burning with rage and fury and hatred that could incinerate worlds.
[I WILL END YOU!!!]
I appeared in front of the snake almost instantaneously, reaching for it’s fangs with my hands, blazing with violet light.
[GraaaAARGH] I pulled with all my might, the tearing sounds and pained hissing singing an ode to madness.
I wanted to make it suffer. I wanted to make it regret being born. I wanted to make it experience the pain my friend was going through.
The snake might have understood that it couldn’t win this fight, as it was trying to scurry off, but I wouldn’t allow it. I descended upon the frightened creature like a valkyrie of death incarnate and struck it’s eyes with it’s own two weapons that I still held firmly in my hands, robbing it of it’s sight.
[HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!] I shouted, bathing it in my bloodlust, and in turn getting bathed in it’s blood. The force of the punch that followed sent it falling off the tree, but I wasn’t done with it, not by a long shot.
Down on the ground, I punched the creature wriggling in pain, over and over again, my magically enhanced fists gouging flesh out with each strike.
*splat*, *splat* The squelching sound of my fists impacting bare, bloodied flesh echoed across the forest in a grim serenade, and it was time for it to climax.
***
By the time the red haze lifted off my mind, the creature was long dead. I didn’t care, I just kept puncturing it’s body with my punches, until I couldn’t find any more fury to throw at it, and then some more.
There was little left of it’s head, and the rest of the body didn’t fare much better. Then, I turned my attention towards my friend, afraid of what I would see there.
She was still breathing, but the venom was eating away at her remaining life force. The bite itself wasn’t very deep, but that did not matter. I walked up to her, brushing the top of her head with my hand, but at that moment, I could feel a tiny stream of power resonate within me.
Feeling the light of hope fill my despairing heart, I tried reaching for it, grasping it, but it kept eluding me, as my friend’s life was trickling away. I wasn’t about to give up. I tried harder, and harder, driven by the urgency pressing at my frustrated mind.
“I can’t afford to panic now.” I steadied my rugged breathing, as I noticed that getting agitated won’t get me anywhere, calming down in the process. Then I attempted to reach for the trickle of golden power once again, but slowly and carefully.
I could see an almost imperceptible gentle golden glint cover the palms of my my hands. My instincts were telling me to let this power, the power of life, seep into the body of my dying friend.
Pressing my hands against the gaping wounds in her belly, I could feel the flesh mending, the venom dissipating, but it wasn’t enough. She was too weak, the invading substance was too spread out and she wouldn’t make it if I didn’t hurry up.
I tried channeling more power through my palms but the tiny stream ran dry, as the golden light on my palms faded.
Frantically, I tried to reach for it again. And then again and again, but the light didn't come back.
Feeling despair seize hold of my heart, I felt the familiar, gentle nudge on my arm.
“She knows... doesn’t she?” a dam of tears burst open as my vision blurred, the pain of the world disappearing behind a rainfall of sorrow.
“Of course she knows, she always knows better than I do myself…” I sniveled.
I hugged her tight, to let her know just how much I cared, to let her know that she wasn’t alone. I cradled her head in my arms, the unbearable pain of helplessness shattering my heart, as her breathing became increasingly weaker and shallower.
I was there for her until the very end, until the warmth of her life turned cold against my skin.
I kept cradling her lifeless body, remembering all the time we had spent together.
“This is all my fault.” I was starting to hate myself.
“The weak useless me who keeps getting into trouble, that can’t do anything on her own, always requiring protection.”
"For what purpose was I even born in this world, other than to suffer?" I was starting to pity myself, when a wave of disgust washed over me.
[No…], "no, that’s not right. That weakling part of me has to die tonight. I will strangle it myself if I have to."
“I will never let anyone rob me of what’s precious to me EVER AGAIN!”
“grr!” I expelled the air from my lungs angrily.
“I need to become strong. Staying alive is no longer enough for me. Hiding away in fear of shadows is no longer acceptable to me. Being protected is no longer something I wish for. I will use these two hands of mine to grasp my own place in this world!” resolving myself, I stood up.
[You will become my power, even though I hate you.] I walked over to the mangled body of the snake and started devouring it. The flesh tasted of regret, but that didn’t deter me from consuming the whole carcass. It would become my strength, repenting for it’s sin in death.
***
In the end, I decided to cremate the body of my friend. I would not touch her flesh and I would not allow any other creature to either. She would forever remain the masterful hunter, never the prey.
To make sure that the forest wouldn’t catch fire, I had to dig a hole in the ground. With no tools at my disposal, I could only rely on my hands, which took me the whole day, along with hauling all the small sized rocks and pebbles I could find to provide an additional layer of protection against the fire.
My hands were scraped and bloodied from the work, but the pain didn’t even register through the agony that was tormenting my heart.
Gathering the dried up branches that were scattered all around, I created a provisional funeral pyre, mixing the wood with any grasses that looked dry enough to catch fire.
As nightfall drew nearer, I placed the limp body of my companion upon the wooden construct. I took a good long look at her visage again, motionless in what seemed to be merely a tranquil, peaceful sleep. But I knew that she would not be waking up from this one.
I brushed her head one last time, bidding my farewell to a friend I owed so much to. Before moving away from the pyre, I plucked one beautiful, charcoal-black feather from her wing. A memento that would both haunt me for the rest of my life, and remind me that I now carried responsibility for two lives instead of one. A responsibility to get strong, and live my life fearlessly.
As I turned away from the pyre, taking a step towards the outer side of the circle of stones, tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them trample over this newfound resolve of mine. What happened was my fault, and my responsibility to carry alone.
Gathering all the remaining rays of fading sunlight from the crimson sky, I directed them at the leaves scattered across the base of the pyre. It took some time, but they did catch fire in the end.
And as the last remnants of the day yielded their hold over the world to the dominion of night, I stood there illuminated by the fire, alone with my sorrows.
***[Later that night]***
[I know you’re there, show yourself!] a voice I once dreaded more than any other echoed across the clearing hidden in darkness.
It would seem that the time to test my resolve has arrived much earlier than I anticipated.