Chapter 56

Everything looks like a nail (2)

Eun Woo pulls out his halberd.

-good, now that this matter is settled let’s move on to training-

_training? _

Saiko raises an eyebrow and looks at Eun Woo.

-yes, training, after all, you will need all the fighting experience you could possibly get to fight the invaders, besides it’s obvious that the wave of decay was a result of you losing your composure, so the more skilled you become, the less likely we will have other waves of decay tearing through the fabric of the universe-

Saiko rubs the back of her head.

_ well, I don’t disagree but how would we train? You are … well dead and I am not sure what this is but I assume it’s a dream like state _

-that’s correct, but this dream like state is why we can help you train –

_what? _

Eun Woo smiles amused by Saiko's reaction then explains.

-your brain doesn’t differentiate between the actions you do in your dreams and the actions while awake, if you raise your arm in your dream, your brain sends a signal to your physical arm to rise up, the only reason it doesn’t is that when you enter a dream state, your brain releases certain chemicals that prevent you from acting out your dreams –

Eun Woo’s words trigger some of his memories inside Saiko.

_ oh, so even though I won’t be moving, my brain would still build the patterns and skills associated with the training as though I acutely did them _

_- not only that but since in dreams the brain isn’t limited by the speed of the body but only by its processing speed, you can spend weeks in a dream but in reality, only a few seconds have passed-_

The two of them say the last part at the same time which causes Eun Woo to scowl.

-that was weird and unpleasant –

The silver cat smiles slightly.

_well, technically I know everything you know now _

Her expression then turns serious as she recalls how Eun Woo came to know this much about dreams.

Specifically, she recalls him overhearing a conversation between two court magicians, upon inquiring, the court magicians explained it to him and told him that they were studying the invaders living weapon program.

She then recalls her own memories.

Although most of them are fuzzy due to her old man sealing them, she can still recall the sensation of her body being torn apart and put back together over and over and over and over.

That is one of the memories that is still clear in her mind, not because that memory had any significance or special meaning for her, but simply because of the sheer quantity of it.

There has always been a disconnect between her memories and the reality she knows to be true.

she has eons worth of memories even though she knows she is only in her early twenties.

Even if she combined the memories of the twenty-two Royal Guards, twenty-five surveillance unit members, and seven otherworldly beings, they would still be dwarfed by her own memories from the living weapon program.

This fact has always puzzled her, however, now, she can guess that by studying dreams, the world government had found a way to mess with her sense of time causing her to experience the ten years she spent in the living weapon program as if they were thousands of years.

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‘I have to save the other children as soon as possible, every minute I waste is weeks of torment for them’

Saiko clenches her first harder.

It looks like she has two equally urgent problems to fix. Which should she focus on first? Which could she neglect? A war that threatens the world, or children’s endless torment. Which should she sacrifice?

At this moment the words of Naoi echo in her mind.

‘if I tell you, you might not want to stop them, you are not yet ready to know the answer’

She freezes in shock at herself.

She couldn’t believe it, she almost considered sacrificing these children.

Despite knowing the suffering they are going through.

The loneliness, the endless torment and pain, even though, she experienced them herself, she almost sacrificed the children as well.

Although, she doesn’t know the world government’s reason for it, regardless of what it is, they clearly think it’s a valid reason to sacrifice those kids.

The words of her old man echo in her mind next.

‘Remember Saiko, Evil is an enchanting mistress, it can be very tempting, and it will always offer you an easier and faster solution to your problems’

‘NO’

‘I Refuse, there must be another answer, I am not playing this game’

She clenches her fist and her eyes glare with rage.

‘I am not sacrificing innocent lives for this’

-what about the children who die from the war?-

-what?-

Saiko hears Eun Woo’s voice and turns to face him.

due to the link between them, the souls inside Saiko were aware of her inner turmoil.

Eun Woo continues.

-if you prioritize saving the children in the living weapon program, you won’t have time to prepare for the war which will lead to even more children suffering and dying-

Herman adds.

- Miss Saiko, sometimes life confronts us with difficult choices, choices where shedding blood is unavoidable and we have to choose the one that harms the smallest number of people-

Saiko glares at the Royal Guards with blood shot eyes causing the two of them to flinch.

_Would you have said that if the ones who had to suffer were your Sons instead of random kids that you don’t know, or would you have traded the world to save your Sons? _

The Girins instinctively move back cowering from the gaze of the silver cat.

Even in death, their instinctive sense of danger did not leave them.

Eun Woo notices the fear of the Girins and raises an eyebrow at them but stands his ground and looks at Saiko.

- It doesn’t matter, it’s not my son and it’s not yours either, we can’t be swayed by our emotions here, are you really suggesting that you want to sacrifice thousands of lives just to save a few dozen-

_yeah that’s right, they are not your sons and not mine either, that’s their sin, isn’t it? Their sin is they don’t have anyone to protect them, they have no one to stand up for them, that’s why it’s okay for them to suffer, that was my sin too…. that is until it wasn’t_

Saiko’s lips curl up slightly into a soft smile as she recalls the day her old man came to save her from the facility.

Eun Woo lets out a sigh.

-I am not even telling you to abandon them forever, I am just asking you to focus on the war and save them after it’s over, if don’t thousands of lives will be lost-

Saiko shakes her head at Eun Woo.

_ I refuse to sacrifice those kids but don’t worry, I am not saying I will ignore the war either, I won’t sacrifice anyone, as I said if anyone has to pay for this it’s me and only me _

-that’s a nice sentiment and all but words can only take you so far, time is limited and you can’t do both things at the same time, you have to pick one-

Saiko closes her eyes and sinks deep in her thoughts.

She knows that there are some truths in Eun Woo’s words but she refuses to accept them. She won’t allow herself to be locked up in that choice.

‘there must be another way’

She begins to come up with and analyze different ideas.

‘what if I rush directly to where Lavie is?’ no, even if I do that there are others and no matter how fast I am I won’t have enough time’

‘what if I talk to the king or the president? No, telling them there is a war coming would make them insist even more on using the children as weapons and probably use them in the war’

‘can I do it on my own? Maybe there is a way to make me control all the water in the world-

_pfff_

Saiko laughs at herself as she recalls Ken’s words.

‘you are a hammer and you see everything as a nail, you only have one answer to every question’

She recalls how she always tried to brute force her way through problems, and how that brute force repeatedly failed her.

Wasn’t she supposed to change? Was killing the Royal guards not enough? Wasn’t this entire situation born from her relying on her might?

_ I really am a hammer; I haven’t learned anything, I have to stop thinking like a weapon _

Saiko decides to reexamine the problem.

What’s really the problem here?

That she can’t do both things at once.

The problem is she needs to be in two different places at the same time.

Of course, that’s impossible.

‘is it really impossible though?’

Saiko slowly goes through all her memories and all her knowledge.

A long time passes as she thinks deeper and deeper in her thoughts, determined to find a solution, one that doesn’t rely on her might alone.

The Royal guards and seven otherworldly beings observe her patiently.

Thanks to the fact that they are in dream like state, no matter how much time Saiko spends thinking, in the real world it would only be a few seconds.

_ I got it _

She eventually exclaims and her lips curl up into a confident smile.

_ I need to wake up now _

Sir Eun Woo bows to her and smiles.

- I congratulate you on finding an answer, and I hope your plan succeeds but you can’t wake up yet, we still have a training session to do –

_ right _ she smiles then raises her hand up and performs a “come at me” gesture.

_ let’s not waste any more time_