I kept going to church. I thought it would help me figure out more faster, but I seemed to be wrong about that. It’s been 3 sundays and still I have gotten nothing from the completely unorthodox, but harmless, behavior. William never really gave up on trying to be my friend. Don’t get me wrong, he was always nice at first, but a few exchanges into the conversation he would always ask a question that was a little too personal or a little too judgemental.

I try to keep the conversation brief but he always wants to know why I’m not responding to his messages or doing other town-wide activities. I have a myriad of excuses for this type of thing, that he somehow believes, but those were not going to help me today.

I was walking from the cafe to the church, enjoying a tepid day, when I got a phone call from one Orphan in a very sour mood.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“It’s good to hear from you too, glad to see that nothing has changed,” I reply coldly.

“Who is William and why does he keep texting me asking about church activities?”

“He’s a guy I wanted off my back and I felt like you could handle him. It’s not like you have too much else to do.”

“So you ran away from this big city, full of people to help, to play small-town-girl in rural America?”

“Yes, that is exactly what happened. And for no reason too. I just left, shocking isn’t it?”

“You don’t need to be a smartass.”

“Well you certainly seem to be a good example of that, you already dropped the smart half.”

“Listen, just get the guy to stop messaging me, or I’ll tell him the truth about who I am and who you are and some other stuff.”

“You would really divulge all those secrets because I gave a weird, but harmless, dude your phone number?”

“Well, I don’t have to.”

“Fine, I’ll give him a different number. Thanks for being so mature.”

“Bite me, Athens.”

“Go choke on a needle.” I hung up.

I walk into a normal service, and get stepped up to by William before I even see which pew is open. “You haven’t been responding to any of my messages. Did I do something wrong?” You know the way a kid looks when he tells his parents he broke something in the house? That’s the look this guy had all the goddamn time. You feel sympathetic at first, but after time it just becomes frustrating and my patience for him was already pretty short by nature of where I was.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I think I gave you the wrong number. I’ll fix it.” I gave him my actual number this time. I’m pretty sure he’s just mildly irritating, instead of actually stalker like. I gave him a nod and walked around him to one of the back pews and sat down. He followed me too closely for my comfort. The sermon started.

“Can I ask you a question?” he leaned over to me.

“Aren’t we supposed to be listening?”

“I already went to the 8 am service for the senior center, it’s not that interesting this week. Anyway, you hang out with the McDoven girl a lot, right? I see you two outside the diner a lot.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty good friends I guess, why?” I asked, suddenly regretting my earlier judgement.

“I think you should be careful around her. She used to hang out with that Jess girl and I know Jess likes girls.” The way he said ‘likes girls’ made it sounded like Jess liked freebasing and streaking through town center.

“Ok, well, that doesn’t really worry me,” I said, trying to be notably annoyed.

“Well, maybe it should. She could try and do something to you that you don’t like if she finds you attractive. You know, something gross.”

“I think she can control herself in my presence just fine. We’ve made it this far, haven’t we.” I could feel my brow furrow. I wasn’t gonna tell him that me and her had slept in the same bed many times already, because I think he might just keel over in his seat.

“I mean I just wouldn’t let her stay over, especially if you’re a heavy sleeper.”

I fully turned to him, “Why do you think she would do that? She’s a nice person with a modicum of self control.”

“Well sure, but nice people still have urges to sin. I would never want to hurt someone, but sometimes I do just want to grab a girl I have a crush on and be all over her. Not in a mean way, in like a loving way.”

“Ok, well, thank you for sharing that very interesting perspective, but I don’t think she will have that problem. In fact, since she is a woman and has a small grasp on what women actually want, she’s probably better at it.” I slid all the way down the other end of the pew to get out without having him block me. He tried to stop me by the door, but I blew past him. I might have knocked him over actually, but I walked out too fast to actually see him hit the ground. I was definitely super wrong about the harmless part, and I don’t even want to think about the messages I would get after that display. What I did want to think about was seeing my, apparently very dangerous, lesbian best friend.

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The walk home was quiet, and I found myself wishing I would have just taken my crappy car. A little exhausted, I entered my apartment to the smell of cinnamon and sugar. There was a crop of red hair I could see on the couch. I walked up and scruffed it.

“I didn’t make you food for you to treat me like this,” Katrina said, not even surprised by my presence. To be honest, she shouldn’t be; it is my apartment.

“Well I appreciate you wanting to keep our cafe tab down. Did you make cinnamon rolls?”

“Cinnamon rolls, mac and cheese, sauteed broccoli, and some chicken. Figured you would need something nourishing after dealing with the church folk.”

I walk to the kitchen to see my feast and the smells of homemade food. It’s been years since I had them. I guess I always told myself I didn’t like them, but the truth is they made me remember my mom. Once a month when I was young, we would get the tubes of cinnamon dough that you had to crack open on the counter. My mom liked to have them with chili. It was odd, but the sweet spicy combination tasted like heaven. I grabbed one of the still steaming cinnamon rolls off the counter and bit into it. I remembered that I like cinnamon rolls.

“Shouldn’t you eat your lunch before having dessert?” Katrina said without looking up at me.

“I haven’t had a cinnamon roll since my parents died,” I say plainly.

“Well, I’m glad I bought them then. I almost got cookies instead.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You already did.”

“Do you really think your parents didn’t care about you?”

She took a long pause. “Yes. They didn’t consider me.”

I was pretty shocked by this one. She’s always been pretty uncomfortable with herself but she can’t honestly think that her parents didn’t love her. “I mean, I know you have no idea who your dad is, but your mom was part of your life wasn’t she?”

“Until I was five, yeah, and then she was killed trying to stop two men from taking me away.”

“I mean you can’t say that isn’t love, she gave her life for you.”

“No, it was martyrdom. She could have hid, or called the police. She could have gotten me out a window, or called my step dad. She didn’t need to try and make them leave. She didn’t need to let them know we were in the house by going into the kitchen. She didn’t need to leave me here, with Dave and no one to ask about where I’m even from, or who I even am. My last name isn’t even real. It doesn’t exist as far as any name records I have found. She left me as a nobody in the middle of nowhere and none of it had to happen!” As she spoke, her voice rose and the pan of cinnamon rolls flew off the counter and across the floor, splattering as its shadow reconnected to the floor.

I kneel to pick it up, as Katrina apologizes profusely. I stand up and face her, “I’m sure she didn’t want to die either. I don’t think she planned it.”

“I don’t know, she was married to a man who did nothing but drink. She had an illegitimate child who she couldn’t even tell who her father was. She had to have some sort of life before Dave, so why? I don’t guess her self preservation was very high. Red once told me he saw her soul around in the Afterlife, and that it wasn’t anywhere finite, but it was happy. I don’t remember her being happy a lot here.”

“Is that why you are ok with killing? Because you think people will be happier outside of this world? And how do you know he’s even telling the truth?”

Katrina sighed, “I mean that’s the thing, he's had me do terrible things, and he has caused me a lot of pain, but even when he keeps me in the dark on what is happening, he has never lied to me.” She wipes the last of the icing off the ground. “I guess I had some amount of respect for him for that.”

I shot up, “How can you respect someone who is wreaking havoc on your town? Whose attacked girls all around you, girls just like you? He’s made you hurt, and even kill.”

“These girls are nothing like me. And I don’t know what havoc he is wreaking yet, nothing even happened so far. Only Lillian and other demons like her have been causing trouble.” She fiddled with a paper towel, “He didn’t force me to do everything.”

“What?” I say, as my chest tightened in shock.

“There was one, a man, he was in the woods. I hadn’t lured him out there and neither did Red. I think he heard about girls being lured into the woods and wanted a piece of the action. When he saw me, he tried to talk me into coming over to him. I declined and kept heading towards home. He ran up and grabbed my arm, and tried to throw a cloth over my mouth. It had been such a long night, I was so scared and angered by another guy trying to take control of me. I turned around and I bared my teeth at the man. He stumbled backwards and I took out my blades. He didn’t last much longer. I brought him to Red and that was that. No one ever looked for him. Red never even blinked.”

“Is this why you haven’t attacked him? You think he cares about you more than the people who died for you? Because he didn’t judge you for killing an attacker? You really think he cares about you more than any of those other number of girls he has captured?”

“I don’t know! He’s the first person who ever made me feel like I had any power over my life!”, Katrina screamed. The room hung in silence after that. She panted. “I don’t know what he is, or what he wants, but I wouldn’t be here with these powers talking to you if it weren’t for him. Going against him feels like attacking God.”

“He’s not a God, Katrina. And you thinking that is only gonna make him stronger. You can’t jeopardize my mission to help these girls.”

“I’m not going to. Why would you say that? I thought this was our mission.”

“Because you just said you respected the man we are fighting, and how he helped you. How are you going to fight a man you think you owe something to? It can’t be our mission if you won't actually complete it.”

“I don’t know how to fight him, but I can try. I thought you trusted me, no matter what?”

“I think you really need to think about what you are doing here. If it comes down to us having to destroy him in some way, would you be able to?”

“You wouldn’t do that, you don’t kill people.”

“Yeah, well, you do! Could you do it?”

She stares at the floor, “I don’t know.”

“Well you need to figure it out.”

“I think I need to go.”

“Yeah, me too.” Katrina nodded and went for the door. I slide myself down to the floor. The one person I had helping me fight this unholy creature, this man made of darkness, wasn’t on my side like I thought she was, and I was far away from any friends I knew could help me. What was my plan now?

I needed to find new help.