It cannot end like this… I will not simply vanish in such an unceremonious way. I did not wait for this long just to have it crumble at my feet, there’s must be some way out of this. She is still alive, but a human so fragile will never make it far… Am I really considering this? If only I could have it… His body should’ve been mine, but now I’m trapped in this hell, an endless ocean of… white.

Just look at her… resting peacefully among these delicate things. You are dead, what is there to smile about? Unfortunately, your end means my own, and I will not make my exit like this. I am so close, yet nothing went the way I wanted. A knight’s power… replaced for what? This tiny and frail body? These hands could barely crush a bug, but if this is all I have… then these tiny hands must grow to shroud the world under their shadow.

Never I imagined I would be talking in such a way, or thinking in such way… I’ve been alone for so long, but what’s a few thousand years to an immortal god. Is that why I feel so different? This new body is not immortal, but my core keeps forcing itself to maintain it… like a dumb puppy chasing after its tail. Why are you even doing that? Are you dumb? Although it is my core, am I dumb? No! What are these thoughts? And that sound… is that… my voice?

Here she comes now… wearing that repugnant expression as usual. Why are your eyes so wide, and your mouth open like that? She… she is talking to me again, but I can’t understand a single word of hers. This is human language… I heard so little of it before, as I was always met with helpless cries or horrified screams. Is she trying to teach me? This is not your job, what use could I possibly have for such a pointless skill? My specters answer to nothing but my own will, to hell with you and your words.

Something in my body hurts, but I cannot explain this agonizing feeling. How could such a strange anomaly affect me to this magnitude? I’ve been pierced by the cold end of many spears… cut by the strongest of steels that the world has to offer… and yet only the champion’s azure could even come close to leave a scratch in my body. Then why? Why am I hurting this bad!

Here she comes again… why would you stop everything just to come look at me? Her expression looks quite familiar, an undeniable terror that brings nothing but joy to my heart, and yet… she does not seem to be afraid, at least not for her own well-being… but for mine.

Stomach ache? That’s strange anomaly that caused me so much pain before… is called a stomach ache. Why was my stomach hurting? Is it trying to kill me? Why would my own body act against itself? There must be an explanation for all of this… dammit! I need to figure this out, but she’s got me trapped in this strange prison. Its structure is quite fragile, but my feeble hands are unable to bend even these weak bars. Humiliating… I’m being humiliated in such a way… this cannot be… I have to escape!

She didn’t kill me, but to confront me… me! Even when all I did was punch the bars keeping me confined. The floor was too soft for me to keep my balance, and that sound… what was that little moon hanging above my head? Making those strange noises. She called it… music. Still, for that woman to defy me with such vigor. In my many years of life, I’ve only met a single human who tried to oppose me. Her name I bowed to never forget, but my efforts to find her have yet to borne any fruits.

Mama… I understand those words to some extent. She calls herself mama when in my presence, and asks me to address her as such. She holds me in the air like a trophy, has she forgotten who I am perhaps? I saved your pathetic life, and yet you keep me confined here like a pet. Hm? Is that… another human? She wears a ridiculous object in front her eyes, it seems to make them look bigger… are humans trying to mimic a knight’s sharp vision? How pathetic, not amount of effort will elevate your imperfections to such a degree. Hm? Why is she so close? She is making that same expression mama does… a goo goo gaga, as she calls it. I shall make you pay for your arrogance… if only… if only… I could…

The object broke, and mama got mad at me. How is any of this my fault! She must’ve known that defying a god has its consequences, which could’ve been much worse if I wasn’t trapped in this body. Oh? She is back… and has brought those things with her again, although they look slightly different. She is coming closer to me again, have you not learned your—hm? Why is she touching my head? Only mama puts her hands on me, and only because I allow it. This is… humil… this… I… I…

I fell in love with it… though my memories as a baby quickly faded, this feeling has lingered within me despite my best attempts at suppressing it. Such a warm sensation that I never felt before, something I never had. It could be my old instincts as Specter, or perhaps my new found… what would you call it… I guess feelings would be the word to describe them. This is just how I am, an obsessed fool who can’t let go despite the damage he may cause.

My memories as Specter have mostly vanished… replaced by my new life with mom and Ki-Joon as I fail to realize something’s missing. That instinct driven devil who had no other purpose but to eliminate what was in front of him… is almost gone. Can’t say I’m not afraid… this is the opposite of what I was looking for… but it’s exactly what I want now.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

It’s hard not to enjoy it… the attention and the smiles... that’s what I’m used to see ever since I was a baby. Naturally I want more, and then more… and then more. This empty void that is my heart simply cannot have enough, despite protests from both mom and Ki-Joon. They tell me about love, but I already know what it means… that’s all I ever knew ever since I was born, and want everyone to give me it at all times.

Here she comes… I can’t help but notice how her smile has weakened over the passing years. That memory of hers has not abandoned my mind yet… despite how old it is. She looked so peaceful, sleeping in a vast field of white flowers under the shadow of a tree. I don’t remember what I said, but I do know how afraid I was. In my hand I held a tiny flower from the bunch as I waited… and waited… she finally opened her eyes, and met me with the same smile she always did. That’s when I made my choice... she would live for my sake, and die once I grew strong enough to dispose of her.

To this day I’m still aware of what I can do… or could, if I allowed my memories to flow freely. I cannot let myself slip even once, though I’ve already caused more harm than I ever wanted in this life. I found her… Lionheart... it just wasn’t in the way I expected it. That was the day I took control of what was rightfully mine… my specters, my army… that was the day I no longer needed her… mom. That was the day I took her life, as I was no longer just a boy. That was the day I ruined everything.

How? How did I let it happen? I knew… I knew… Did I? Ki-Joon… Ki-Joon… Ki-Joon…

Center of the Deadlands, Ruined Castle: 936, November 6th, Tuesday, 8:00 AM.

“It-s already morning, Loewe.” The soft voice of a woman called out, echoing infinitely through an empty dark void. “Wake up.”

“It’s… morning?” Sovereign said under his breath. He forced his eyes open with lethargic moans, lifting his hanging head to discover the interior of a destroyed castle through a blur. “Where…”

He was surrounded by nothing but rubble and crimson fog, gazing upon the demolished pillars of the room and the breached walls as he remained seated in his throne. With the silent winds of the Deadlands reigning over the atmosphere, nothing but lonesome awaited him during his awakening, a familiar atmosphere that did not seem to bother Cerberus’ ex-CEO. Sovereign leaned his back in the throne to relax his posture, releasing a quick sigh while resting both hands in the throne’s armrests.

“No pain today… I may be close to recov—”

A ringing noise interrupted his thoughts with a flinch, rustling near his heart from under his black vest. The man quickly snapped back from the shock to pull his phone out from the inner pocket of his suit, fixing his gaze in a bright box informing him of a new arriving message. He tried to press the read button on the screen, but was interrupted by the continued arrival of further messages—rapidly rolling up the screen one after the other.

“What…” he whispered with narrow eyes, which widened instantly as he read the contact, marked with a star as favorite and carrying the name ‘<3 <3 <3’ on its label. “How…” his lips moved on their own as he read the text on screen.

‘Did it arrive?’

‘Dammit… just answer the damn messages already.’

‘How do I send a picture through my phone, Tori?’

‘That wasn’t for you, ignore it.’

‘Here…’

A new message promptly arrived soon after reading the last, which instead of text, displayed the picture of a girl with black hair and amber eyes—dressed with the distinguishable black and gold uniform of Bloodhound.

She looked straight at the camera while keeping her arms in a strange position, as if holding something within her warm embrace. Her amber eyes not only gleamed with a smile, but exhibited a hint of shyness as she looked through her eyelashes. She kept an eyebrow slightly raised, and her pearly whites could be barely seen through slightly parted lips.

The picture’s background revealed her neatly organized room, with the faint silver light of the moon entering through a small gap between closed curtains. A thick book lied next to her, as well as the frame of photo well known to Sovereign—displaying the picture of Sebastian and his team.

“She framed the photo at last, or did I already know that?” wondered Sovereign, unable to move his gaze away from the woman’s amber eyes. “Looks like she took her picture at night… is she sleeping well?”

‘This is stupid… just delete it if you are reading this…’

One last message arrived, and the room filled with only the whooshing sounds of the passing wind. The man’s fingers began to tremble under the black glove of his left hand, being guided towards the screen with every intention to press the reply button under the picture. Before they could reach their destination however, Sovereign rapidly concealed the phone under his vest before leaning forward on his seat.

“Huff…” he huffed while placing one palm on his forehead, meeting the floor with his gaze as he leaned further.

The man was immune to the constant heath of the Deadlands, a powerful influence that worsened the deeper one ventured into the hellish zone. Despite the fact however, his face drowned in a cold sweat that crawled all over his skin—dripping down into the obsidian-black floor at his feet. Sovereign clenched his fists tightly, and with a lump in his throat, he could do nothing but shake the thought out of his head.

“No distractions…” he told himself with a sigh. “I’ll put an end to this myself... and then… and then you will.”

END OF CHAPTER