Thomas wakes up with his face smushed into something that is definitely not a pillow. Opening his eyes groggily, he sees ... a forest floor? Covered in leaves and pine needles. It's dimly lit by flickering light. What. What is the last thing he remembers? Nothing comes to mind. Then again, he usually doesn't remember what he had for breakfast. He remembers his name, where he lives, where he works.
Did I get drunk? I haven't in years. There is a feeling like he's been ignoring something important, something right in front of him. When he tries to reach for it, he sees, but not through his eyes,
> NOTIFICATIONS:
> * You have reached 18 21 years of age without a Class. Class unlocked: Generalist.
> * Generalist 1: +1 all attributes, halved thresholds for Unclassed Skills, +1 max Unclassed Skills.
WHAT
> STATUS:
> Thomas [Generalist 1]
>
> HP 18/20
> SP 20/20
> MP 3/20
>
> Strength 5
> Agility 5
> Intellect 5
>
> Generalist 0/10
Also, now that he's awake, his hands are tied. That's not good. At least they are tied in front?
Hypothesis #1: Hallucination / insanity.
Evidence in favor: Literally everything about this situation.
Evidence against: Unfalsifiable and generally unhelpful to worry about. Also, he's coherent enough to worry about it.
Hypothesis #2: He died (ish), was cryopreserved as per his contract, and his mind eventually uploaded into a VR sim.
Evidence in favor: Ditto #1.
Evidence against: Simulations are also unfalsifiable. Also it seems like an odd thing to do to an upload without saying hello first.
Hypothesis #3: It's the far future, and he volunteered for injection into a VR game (with intentional memory suppression) because he's 1000 years old and bored.
Evidence in favor: Explains everything, really, and actually predicts the game interface rather than merely tolerating it. If this is the goddamn Skyrim intro I am going to lose my shit.
Evidence against: Also unfalsifiable. Also it's awesome, so he wants to believe it, so caution requires biasing against it.
Hypothesis #4: His memories are fake and he never existed before being spawned into this game. NOPE not going there!
Course of action: Assume reality is real. Gather more data. Take it slow, keep options open.
Speaking of data, someone is talking. That seems important. A man's voice. That's not English, unless of course he has a head injury NOT HELPFUL. What language is it? He doesn't speak other languages, really, besides a few insults, but he's heard some. Not German, Italian, Russian... Not Mandarin.
Other men reply. A deeper, louder, angrier(?) voice: "Kot tog!" Wait, was that expletive a different language?
> [!]
yes?
> NOTIFICATIONS:
> * You have tried to understand 3 2 unknown languages. Unclassed Skill unlocked.
> * Linguist I: Identify languages upon hearing them.
> * Unclassed Skills: 1/2.
WHA.. no actually this isn't any stranger, is it?
[Southern]
How informative. Can he retroactively identify that brief expletive? "Kot tog"?
[Orkish]
Well shit. That can't be a good sign, though it is admittedly more informative. Be careful what you wish for? Swearing in a language doesn't mean it's your native tongue. He can swear in several languages he doesn't really speak. But it implies that Orks exist here. Wherever here is. Maybe they're the honorable warrior type instead of the always Evil type?
"Linguist I" - "I" implies a "II". Can he get universal translation just by listening for a while longer? That would be nice - but Linguist I was awarded for listening to 2 languages, not for a duration. Presumably the 3 was before the halving from Generalist. Ok, HP was 18/20. Does that mean he's injured? Body scan. He feels fine, actually, other than the pointy bits pressing into his cheek. Better than you'd expect from sleeping in this awkward position, really. Cold, damp, but not shivering or numb. Status?
> STATUS:
> Thomas [Generalist 1]
>
> HP 18/20
> SP 20/20
> MP 4/20
>
> Strength 5
> Agility 5
> Intellect 5
>
> Skills:
> Linguist I
>
> Generalist 0/10
He has 1 more mana. Natural regen? Why was it low? With a bit more time to see how fast it regens, he could estimate how long he was unconscious after ... arriving ... assuming it started at zero then. Though that doesn't seem immediately relevant. Magic. Spells. List spells. Nothing happens. Mana. [MP 4/20]. Ok, that did a thing. Not a helpful thing, but a thing.
System-poking can wait. More relevant data: Number of captors. Their armament. His potential armaments. Come to think of it, whether they intend to do terrible things to him. Probably yes, but let's not jump to conclusions. Since he currently has no weapon or way of escape to risk, revealing that he's awake is probably ok, as long as he can pretend he just woke up.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
He sits up, groaning somewhat more than is warranted. There is a fire with a pot over it. There are 4 figures squatting and standing beside it. One of them points at him and says something, laughing. [Southern]. Another, the biggest, smirks at him. Tusks. Those are tusks. So much for only swearing in Orkish.
[Southern]... He does not need to feign confusion and ignorance as someone seems to ask a question, assuming Southern uses the same rising pitch for a question as English. Scowling, the bandit(?) walks over and repeats his probable-question. Seeing no effect, he reaches into a pouch, taking out a coin. Miming: you, coin, me, *slit throat*. Your money or your life? Wonderful. Seeing as they have already had time to take any stuff, they probably mean ransom. Which isn't going to happen.
Thomas sighs and nods understanding, hoping that, at least, will cross the language barrier. The bandit relaxes and walks back to the fire. The warm fire. That it would be good to be closer to right now. His feet are also tied. Inconvenient. On the other hand, that implies they think he could inconvenience *them* by running, which hopefully means that none of them have magic super-speed powers, because *that's* a thing he has to worry about now, apparently.
System. Help. System Help. System Info. Info. It was worth a shot. Enemy weapons: Long dagger on ransom-guy, shortbow and long dagger on pot-stirring guy, big-ass sword (falchion?) on Ork, crossbow and hunting knife on Slav-squatting-guy. His own weapons: jack shit. Any sticks around? None big enough to bonk someone with. Just leaves, pine needles, twigs, mushrooms, trees, ... mushrooms. Most mushrooms are poisonous, right? It's not like he could fight all 4 even if he stole one of their weapons.
Quietly, he shifts back a foot. Another foot. No one is looking. Let's hope this isn't a contact poison. He picks the two species of mushroom he can reach. Taking two leaves, just in case, he carefully crushes some mushrooms between them, trying to minimize skin contact with the paste. He sets the leaves down, carefully, and wipes his hand on the ground. Now, how to get it into the pot? He could throw a rock. That might distract a few. Not enough for him to bunny-hop up to the fire and drop something in.
Shortbow-guy says something [Southern] and gets out some bowls. The soup is ready. Now or never. He wobbles to his feet, holding the hopefully-poison between his bound hands, and tries hopping over to the fire. Crossbow-guy scowls at him and starts to say something, but the Ork cuts him off, laughing and making "bonk bonk" noises as his fingers do an impression of bunny-hopping. Apparently the jester gets fed, even in bandit camps. The others have already dipped their bowls in the soup before he arrives. They'll want seconds, that soup looks pretty thin.
Now, pick up the bowl, clumsily, with the poison underneath. Dip the bowl, drop the payload, push bowl down to sink the evidence under the surface, scald fingers, "Ah!" [-1 HP], withdraw bowl, watch leaves sink, draw attention away from pot, "shit ow ow ow". Much laughter ensues. Hop back, trying not to spill. Spill. "Ow" [-0 HP]. Well, at least he's being distracting. Also, minus zero? Damage that's too small to register, but notifies anyway? Odd. Maybe there are decimal places under the hood? Not the time. Wait. That's a problem. If he gets damage notifications, they probably do too. If the poison ticks over time...
The soup he got *should* be safe. But it is hot, so he will blow on it for a while, stalling. After a few minutes, and a few tentative sips to avoid suspicion, the Ork takes a second bowl. Then crossbow-guy. Analyze. Target Info. Status. He gets his own status, not the Ork's.
If one of them doesn't take seconds before the others show symptoms, he's in deep shit. If two of them don't, he's just dead. If the mushrooms aren't even poisonous, he's probably also dead, but later. Wet rope stretches, right? It does in movies. A careful spill while no one is looking - [-1 HP] Ow. And, trickier, on the hands [-1 HP].
Shortbow-guy dips his bowl. Then ransom-guy. Odds of success rising? The odds are irrelevant - there is no plan B, other than "try to outrun arrows". Crossbow guy wobbles. Looks behind him. Says something [Southern]. Slurred? Hard to tell. He drops his bowl and grabs his crossbow, loading it. The Ork puts his bowl down calmly, asks a question [Southern]. Crossbow-guy is panicking - he shoots out into the dark. He tries to reload, but staggers and falls. Shortbow-guy runs to him, trips, lands on him, tries to get up. Crossbow-guy knifes him in the gut, repeatedly, screaming. Shortbow-guy, after a moment of shock, knifes him right back. The Ork is shouting at them. Ransom-guy seems stunned. Nobody is looking at the prisoner - yet. He wiggles his hands out of the bonds, painfully, but without losing HP.
> NOTIFICATIONS:
> * You have slain a foe with poison. Class unlocked: Poisoner
> * Poisoner 1: +1 Agility, +1 Intellect. Lethal Poisoner I: +1 damage/tick/level with poison.
> * Over-level Assist: Human [Rogue 2, Hunter 1] 32 XP / 2.
> * Over-level Assist: Human [Rogue 3] 36 XP / 2.
> * Poisoner 2: +1 Agility, +1 Intellect.
> * Generalist 2: +1 all attributes.
> * You have assisted two foes in killing each other without taking damage yourself. Unclassed Skill unlocked.
> * Tricksy Bastard I: Your effective Threat to non-sapient monsters is 25% lower.
> * Unclassed Skills: 2/2.
Well, that went better than expected. Also, two classes? Status.
> STATUS: Thomas [Generalist 2, Poisoner 2]
> HP 17/22
> SP 20/26
> MP 7/26
>
> Strength 6
> Agility 8
> Intellect 8
>
> Skills:
> Linguist I
> Lethal Poisoner I
> Stealth I
> Tricksy Bastard I
>
> Generalist 7/12
> Poisoner 7/12
Ransom-guy is not merely stunned, but is foaming at the mouth. That's ... good? Not really the career choice Thomas was planning on, but Poisoner seems undeniably, horrifically, effective.
This is a game. They are not real. I'm not killing anybody. I'm NOT killing anybody. Whether it's true or not, he really cannot afford to think of his enemies as people right now.
Ransom-guy might have just figured it out. He is running straight at his poisoner, who abandons subtlety and frantically removes his leg bindings, jumping to his feet just in time to meet the flailing charge. A wild slash [-5 HP] and the impact of the charge [-2 HP] [2 damage dealt]. Grab the knife arm, and kick, and knee, [2 damage dealt] and knee. Ransom-guy is weakening, allowing a desperate grab for the knife - I was never this quick - and a step behind, and a stab in the back [9 damage dealt] and another as he hits the ground [12 damage dealt].
> NOTIFICATIONS:
> * You have slain a foe with a melee weapon from behind. Class unlocked: Rogue
> * Rogue 1: +2 Agility, Stealth I (+10% effective Agility/level for stealth)
> * Kill: Human [Rogue 2] 11 XP
> * Tricksy Bastard I has become a Rogue Skill. Rogue Skills: 1/1. Unclassed Skills: 1/2.
> STATUS:
> Thomas [Generalist 2, Poisoner 2, Rogue 1]
> HP 10/22
> SP 13/30
> MP 7/26
>
> Strength 6
> Agility 10
> Intellect 8
>
> Skills:
> Linguist I
> Lethal Poisoner I
> Stealth I
> Tricksy Bastard I
>
> Generalist 10/12
> Poisoner 10/12
> Rogue 5/12
And now, 3 meters away, there's an Ork, sword drawn and charging. No foam, no panic, no flailing. Just rage.