“By the Pyre’s flaming nutsack, what just happened?” El asked when she was alone with her brother and Laze back in her room. Faled had gone off to gather and inform the rest of the wing, and Lhogan had stoically taken the bad news.

Nexin raised that burning eyebrow again, but didn’t comment on her choice of language. Burn it, she was an adult now! She could talk how she wanted. But her cheeks still heated at her big brother’s look.

“Does the Pyre actually have a flaming nutsack?” Laze, on the other hand, asked thoughtfully. “And I mean, I’ve never seen one in any of the depictions…” she trailed off at the disbelieving looks of the other two. “Never mind,” she said quietly.

“Oril,” Nexin began, coming to Laze’s rescue. “Sorry, Corporal Mance was in the academy with me. Same class. One of the most promising cadets.”

“As good as you?” Laze asked.

Nexin battled with his humility for a moment, then shook his head. “Not quite. He… reacted… too much. Everything was a provocation to him. Sparring, I could beat him nine times out of ten, but he was the only one who ever beat me. It was his leadership skills, well, the lack of them, that held him back. He would’ve never been anything other than a soldier. And an uncontrollable one at that.”

“He washed out?” El asked. That could explain how he ended up so far south.

“Quit,” Nexin said flatly. “Took his wings and his weapons, and left. Rumor had it he got married down south.”

“They let him go with his wings?”

“I’m sure they planned to go after him at some point, but things escalated with Guld around the same time. He was a very minor concern in comparison.”

“So, why’s he back here now? Is the rumor about newts true?”

“It is,” Nexin said, not even bothering to ask how she knew. “Two separate forces of lizards—newts—at opposite ends of Pycrin. Each large enough to raise concerns.”

“But if the force in the south is so big, why just send two wings? Shouldn’t they send a dozen? Or more?” Laze asked and sat on the edge of El’s perfectly made bed. If she wrinkled the covers…

“Sergeant Esis and her unit are… underrated,” Nexin said cryptically. “They call themselves The Boomers. They’re one of Cannon’s go-to squads, but none of them want promotions. They like the down-and-dirty action of being a single wing. Get in, blow stuff up, get out. They’re skilled veterans with hundreds of combined sorties. I’d be hard-pressed to think of a better wing to go with yours.”

“But is it enough?” Laze asked.

“If it isn’t, Esis is no fool. She won’t sacrifice her people, or yours,” Nexin said reassuringly, “if the fight is a losing one.”

“Do you think we can… lose?” El said, furious at herself for the way her voice caught on that last word. Firestorm didn’t lose. They were Pycrin’s elite force. The hammer that’d smashed a dozen rival nations off the map.

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“That’s not what I meant,” Nexin said and shook his head. “We beat the lizards decades ago. Shattered their armies and scattered the survivors to the farthest corners of the known world. With the Pyre burning so strong in Balacin, and the Spark in our chests, they simply can’t fight us. They’re no threat.”

“But?” El prodded. There was something else.

“But…” Nexin let the word hang. “Why are they back now? Why two armies at opposite ends of the country. Thousands of miles apart. Are they connected? Is it coincidence? Those questions bother me, so I want you to be very careful.”

“Is that why you wanted to come?”

“Yes… and no. I don’t trust Oril. Not with my little sister’s life on the line. He’s a hothead, and from what I saw in the meeting before you came in, time hasn’t cooled him at all. If anything, he’s gotten worse.”

“But if Esis and her wing are as good as you say, they will keep us safe. Right?” Laze asked, leaning forward and spreading a wide wrinkle along the precisely placed blanket.

“We’ll keep ourselves safe,” El growled, pushing down her frustration. Laze knew how much she hated things being out of place.

“That’s right. You will,” Nexin said surprisingly. “This may be your first mission, but you’ve each earned your place in the Firestorm. Remember your training. Expect to be surprised by the chaos of combat. And never doubt yourselves.”

“Look at you, trying to be all big-brotherly,” El joked, but the coiled dread in her stomach was gone. He was right, they could do this. They would do this.

“Every once in a while,” he shrugged. “But there are a few things I need to check on…”

“Like the elsewhere that you’re needed?”

“Exactly like that. I haven’t received any new orders, and last I’d heard, I was in the city for a few more weeks.”

“Maybe they want to deal with the northern lizard force at the same time? Stop from them meeting up?”

“Could be. But I’m not going to get that answer in here with you two,” Nexin said and opened the door. “By the way, El, you missed a spot on the desk.”

El’s head snapped around so fast she almost pulled a muscle in her neck. Then Nexin started chuckling, and the door closed softly behind him.

“I’m going to kill him,” she muttered.

“You need to lighten up a bit, El. A little dust never killed anybody,” Laze said with a small wave of her hand.

A little dust? Like Laze was one to talk. An entire wing could hide in the bedlam of her room.

“You don’t understand…”

“That’s just it, El, I do. You feel like you need to be perfect, because you think your brother is. You look at him and think how easy it is for him. But for you, everything’s a struggle. I saw how many late nights you spent studying for exams to be at the top of the class. The extra hours you put in practicing with your wings and sword, so you could beat anybody in the academy.

“Nexin’s a lot of things. A lot of wonderful things,” Laze said dreamily. “But perfect isn’t one of them. It literally hurts for me to say that, but it’s true.” Laze stood and smoothed out the blankets where she’d been sitting, then turned back to El, a soft smile on her face. “And you don’t need to be him. Just be you. That’s enough.”

El just stood there, stunned. Of course Laze would have seen all that. They’d been friends their entire lives. But for her to say it all so directly…

“Since the mission has been moved up, I should go talk to my parents. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at muster?”

“Yeah… sure…” El said, words still too difficult for her flabbergasted brain.

Laze came over and wrapped her arms around El in a tight hug. “Make sure you get something to eat,” she whispered, then gave another squeeze. “See you tomorrow.” She opened the door, and left.

El’s stomach growled at the thought of food, but she didn’t immediately move. Her eyes went to the bed, to the tiny crease still evident in the blanket, and she purposely kept her hands at her side. Was Laze right? Was she trying too hard?

Maybe. She should just go get something quick to eat, check on the rest of the wing to make sure Faled talked to them, and then get some sleep. Four thousand miles wasn’t a quick journey, and who knew the next time she’d see a bed.

El straightened her uniform, gave herself a nod, and headed for the door.

She didn’t even get her hand to the doorknob before she turned around and fixed the wrinkle on the bed.