My name is Sake Nishimori and I’m going to explode. Not literally, I should add. I just figured that’s a less disgusting way to explain the serious case of intestinal distress that I’m currently dealing with. Besides, I’m sure you don’t need any nasty mental images of me clutching the sides of the toilet for dear life, right? What? Too far? Sorry folks, sometimes I get a little carried away. I just can’t help myself. Where was I? Right. Exploding. Allow me to elaborate.
It was a sunny day at the end of the spring semester right before exams, and the entire campus was on edge. As a student of Ginza Academy, one of the most prestigious high schools in all of Japan, it was our duty as students to make sure we didn’t tarnish the school’s reputation. The pressure to succeed is absolutely nuts here. About ninety percent of the students who studied at Ginza Academy in the past have gone on to receive a post-secondary education at one of the top universities in the country. Failure was not an option.
Getting into the academy wasn’t easy for me, but it was something I had desperately wanted. I had to basically stop playing my favourite game, Anoch’s Crossing, and gave up having a social life completely in order to put in the time to prepare for the entrance exams even though it wouldn’t have been financially possibly to even attend. Looking back, it was a bit selfish of me considering that my father and I lived on just his small salary from his office job. Anyways, my father somehow found out that I dreamed of going to Ginza Academy and wanted to help, so he secretly took on another job at night so I’d have the money to pay for school if I got in. Not only that, but he took on the extra work while the two of us we’re still dealing with the mental wounds from my sister and mother’s fatal car accident. I was so touched when I found out, I spent the better part of a week crying. I swore to him that I would go to Ginza Academy or die trying. But it all had been worth it. I got in. It was time for my new life. I had abandoned everything from my past in an effort to make my dreams come true. I felt like I could accomplish anything.
Even with all of that, I still barely squeaked in by the tiniest of margins. Now you would think that not having any close friends in my life anymore would bother me but it didn’t. The loneliness on the other hand, was brutal, but I figured that would change when I met my classmates. I was always more interested in things that the other kids my age could care less about; like world politics, history and sociology. I was definitely one of those kids who was happier at the adult table, if you know what I mean. I hoped I would meet a bunch of like-minded individuals in my first year anyways. That’s what an esteemed school of academia was for right? Boy was I wrong.
On orientation day I quickly came to the realization that I had made a horribly error in my calculations. Almost all of the other kids at the academy were extremely privileged and wealthy. They weren’t just well off either, no, these kids we’re at the height of societal privilege. One child in my class was the son of diplomat. Another was the daughter of a general. An armload of children came from various wealthy families in the corporate world. And me? I was the son of a single father who had to work multiple minimum wage jobs just to make enough money for us to eat. Needless to say I was immediately looked down upon by the others for being from the working class and made fun of constantly for not having any money. It also became abundantly evident from my interactions with the faculty that a student’s grades were bought at Ginza Academy, not earned.
I had initially thought that Ginza Academy had gotten its reputation from hard-working students, but clearly that wasn’t the case judging by how my first day had gone. It made sense that ninety percent of the student body would go on to university. These are the children of the absolute elite, after all. With the amount of wealth and power their families held, any university would be obviously happy to accept them.
I was pissed off at my mistake at first; but like my dad always says, wallowing in the dumps doesn’t get you anywhere. So I put my head down and got to work. It didn’t take me long to establish myself. I was always good at sports and my grades were now exceptional compared to the others. Due to the attitude of my overly-obnoxious classmates, I couldn’t help but develop a few bad habits. Over the first couple months it became apparent to even myself that I loved to crush anyone who thought that they were my better. My tendency to rely upon sarcasm whenever I got nervous or uncomfortable didn’t help my make any fast friends either. Still, my character flaws led to me quickly rising to the top of my class by the time the first year had ended. Now that I was in my second year, I had even made a few acquaintances amongst some of the less pretentious students on campus. Now that you’re caught up, let’s get back to the present, shall we?
It was a normal day for me in the beginning of September. I was at kendo practice with some of my schoolmates in the afternoon when I started to feel…for lack of a better term, slightly off. Unfortunately for me, the chicken yakisoba bowl I ate for lunch at the school cafeteria was having a serious disagreement with my stomach. I tried my best to weather through the discomfort but after twenty minutes of laboring around like I was about to give birth to a chicken-noodle monster, I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and subbed myself out of the drill I was participating in. As I struggled to get a grip on the pain and take a seat, one thought kept creeping back up into my head. I needed to evacuate my bowels, pronto.
I held it as long as I possibly could before explaining the desperation of my situation to my less than apathetic gym teacher, who eventually let my go the bathroom after some minor begging and pleading. I thanked him and took off at a speed that would make a cheetah envious towards the main school building hoping I’d make it in time. As I ran through the double doors that marked the entryway, it became desperately clear to me how bad the situation actually was. If I didn’t get to the bathroom right away, I was pretty sure I was going to die from intestinal distress.
As I climbed the stairs two at a time to the second year bathroom on the third floor, I couldn’t help but picture what would happen to me if I did have an accident and anyone at school found out. Images began to circulate around my head of me being ruthlessly mocked by my classmates. Obviously all of the hard work I did cultivating my reputation would have immediately gone to waste. No…there’s no way I could let that happen. I held my stomach and willed myself to move faster. I threw open the door to the hallway with gusto and slid around the corner like Tom Cruise in Risky Business, but I didn’t have time to admire how awesome I must have looked. I could finally see the bathroom just at the end of the hall.
An older janitor stood in the middle of the hallway with a mop and an empty bucket. His back was to me and he was folding something large, but I barely even looked at him. Normally I would have at least acknowledged him as I went by, but I didn’t think I had the time so hopefully he can forgive me for being rude this once. As I passed by, I saw the janitor place what he was folding carefully down on the floor out of the corner of my eye and it took my mind a second to register what it was. Is that a…wet floor sign? Suddenly I felt my feet fly out from under me, and I desperately tried to get a grip on the wet tile to no avail as my entire body was now parallel to the floor. I felt the inertia of falling backwards and the rushing of the air going by me as the back of my head hit the concrete floor with a resounding crunch.
Ouch. I wanted to shout out in pain but for some reason all I could muster was a gasp. My vision slowly clouded over and a persistent ringing buzzed in my ears. I could barely make out the janitor moving towards me. His mouth was moving franticly and he seemed panicked about something but I couldn’t hear what he was trying to say over the noise in my head. It slowly became harder and harder to keep my eyes open, and I felt my consciousness fading. Just as I blacked out, I remember thinking that the ringing noise sounded almost like a man laughing hysterically.
¤ ¤ ¤
I woke up surrounded by a bright white light. At first I thought the light must have been a reflection from the sterile white walls of a hospital, but it became apparent that I wasn’t in any facility when I realized that I was lying on the floor and not in some sort of medical bed. I tried my best to look around at my surroundings but all I saw was white. The endless white expanse I was in seemed to stretch out in every direction. There was nothing around me at all.
Okay. This is weird. Don’t freak out. I must be dreaming. That’s the only logical answer, right? This isn’t real. This must be a reaction to getting knocked out. Pretty soon I’ll open my eyes and be back at school lying on the floor with the janitor. Yeah, that’s it. I just need to wake up. This should end any second now. Any second…..So I waited for a little while. And waited. And waited some more. But nothing around me changed in any discernable way.
Seriously? Why am I still here? Do I have a horrible concussion or worse… do I have brain damage? I tried every trope I had ever seen on television or in pop culture before, from pinching myself to pulling lightly on my arm hair. I even tried to trigger a wake-up from my dream-like state by falling backwards in the same way they do in that one movie. You know which one I’m talking about. Nothing worked. Maybe… I need to knock myself out to wake back up? But how do I do that? There isn’t anything around I can use to hit myself. I paced back and forth while brainstorming, the only audible noise in the derelict chamber being the sound of my shoes echoing across the floor. Hold on a minute… I can use the floor! I took up a diving position and shook off the nerves I was feeling. I had obviously never intentionally hurt myself before, and this was basically going to consist of me throwing myself headfirst at the ground but I was ready for it. I prepared myself for ‘launch’, trying my best to mimic the swan-like dives I had seen from the divers on the Olympics. Just as I was about to make my jump, a voice suddenly echoed throughout the chamber from behind me.
“As funny as watching you do that will be, I really don’t think it’ll help you that much.”
I spun around as fast as I possibly could and saw the dark silhouette of a man watching me from his chair on a raised platform. The man was completely covered by shadows except for a small crack of light that illuminated his creepy smile. The man held a brandy glass and a cigar in either one of his two hands. He slowly took a swig from the glass and took a big puff while he casually sat in a throne observing me.
What the heck? Where did this guy come from? Was he always there? No, I didn’t see this platform behind me a second ago and I would have while I was pacing around. He either just got here or has been screwing with me from the start. Judging by his tone, he clearly knows what’s going on here. This guy pisses me off for some reason, but I probably won’t get the information I need by being defensive around him. I guess I have to play along for now…
“If that won’t work, how do I go back to where I was then?” I asked.
“You don’t.” The shadow said as its smile grew wickedly from ear to ear.
“I’m sorry? Why not?”
“There’s nothing for you to go back to besides a jar of ashes, boy. Do you remember what you were doing when you woke up here?”
“Yeah, I was running through the hallways when I slipped and…wait. Don’t tell me…”
“He-he-he-hee, Congratulations. It looks like you’re finally starting to catch on.”
“I died?”
“Correct! And in an extremely embarrassing way, I’d like to add. I’m definitely glad that I’m not you after seeing what happened, that’s for sure.”
“Um…what do you mean by that?” I asked rather horrified of what the shadow might say. Nothing I could have done would have prepared me for what I was about to be told next though.
“Where do I start…do you remember having to go to the bathroom?”
“Yes?”
“Well simply put, you did go. All over yourself too, right before you passed on. Most people tend to go after they die, but not you. Your unconscious body just let it all go.
“Yikes...”
“Tell me about it. Normally that wouldn’t be too bad, considering the circumstances and all, but you went while the poor janitor was trying his hardest to resuscitate you which resulting in quite the scene. Word spread through the school of your unfortunate defecation rather quickly. Needless to say, it definitely didn’t help that reputation you we’re so worried about.”
“What happened to my reputation?” I grimly said, almost completely unsure if I even wanted to hear the rest. “And wait a minute, how do you know I care about my reputation?!” I could barely contain my shock, considering that was a concern I really didn’t tell anyone about out of fear of being called petty.
“Please child, I know everything about you but we’re getting to the good part so settle down. Let’s just say the Japanese media and government turned what happened to you into an international moment. I wouldn’t blame them too much for doing that, though. After all, your story served as the ultimate ‘don’t run in the halls’ public safety announcement. This led to your father getting involved. You remember how outgoing he was, right? Well after what happened, He wanted to try and prevent anyone else around the world from dying by slipping like you did. He went from school to school, country to country, spreading your story for the better part of ten years. That’s not even the worst part.”
“The worst part? Are you telling me there’s more?!”
“Oh, you’ll love this. Here, why don't you take a look for yourself!” The shadow materialized a piece of newspaper out of nowhere and then snapped. A second later, the front page had magically rematerialized into my hands instead. I looked at the newspaper headline and the picture accompanying the article, and practically went through the process of dying again. The headline read “When Nature Calls: Walk, Don’t Run” and the photo next to the article showed my dad putting on some sort of presentation on stage at some high school. That wasn’t the issue I had with the picture, though. My father was wearing a costume that looked like a giant poop emoji.
“Y-You’re joking, right?!”
“Do I look like the sort of person who makes jokes to you?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Sarcastic humor was always my strongest defense mechanism, and I couldn’t stop it from rearing its ugly head in a situation I had no control of.
“He-hee, feisty, aren’t you? I think the two of us are going to get along just fine.”
“Hilarious. Like peas in a pod?”
“In your case I’d argue it’s more like poos in a pod but sure, let’s go with that.”
“Wow, low blow.”
“Low blows are what I specialize in. Anyways, different versions of the same story eventually spread across the country. People started saying things like ‘Don’t run through the halls or you’ll end up like Sake Shit-pants’ or ‘Sake would still be taking shits today if he wasn’t in such a hurry’.” The shadow howled while it rolled back and forth on the ground, laughing hysterically. “Isn’t that absolutely hilarious? I mean maybe not for you exactly, but for anyone else that’s like top level comedic gold. I’m almost surprised that there wasn’t some terrible movie made in your honour.”
“I’m glad someone seems to be enjoying this.”
“C’mon kid, lighten up. Life’s too short to be such a grump all the fricken’ time. Trust me on that, I know what I’m talking about. Besides, if you were in those people’s shoes you’d be laughing too, right? Kids can be surprisingly cruel, huh? God, I love them. Hopefully they never change.”
“Okay, if you’re finally finished making fun of me, do you maybe want to explain why I’m here now and who you are?”
“Finally, the fun part. I’ll get to the former in a second, as for the latter, I have no problem telling you who I am. In the past, you humans have referred to me by many different epithets. Previously, I have been called The Grim Reaper, The Collector of Souls and The Benign Banker. Others have known me as The Detached Judge, The Great Balancer or the Indifferent Arbitrator.
“Did you just say you’re the grim reaper?”
“I did, but in actuality that’s only one part of the job description so it’s not aa title I’m in love with. I prefer to go by a name the subject I’m addressing can understand better. For now, you can just call me The House.”
“The House? Like a casino?”
“That’s right. I’m glad that you’re familiar with the term. It’s nice to finally be acquainted with you, Sake.”
“Um l-likewise.”
“No need to be frightened, child. If I wanted to reap your soul, I would have done so ages ago and we wouldn’t be having this conversation now.”
“Okay. So why am I here?”
“I’m getting to that. Have some patience. You know patience, right? It’s that thing that if you had even a little of, you’d probably still be worrying about history essays instead of becoming a god’s personal plaything.”
“Touché. I’m not a huge fan of beating-around-the-bush so why don’t you just get to the point already?”
“Splendid. To make things as uncomplicated as possible, I’m in charge of managing the assets, mainly divine energy, of all existence. I mostly deal in the collection and harvesting of lost souls as they’re the main fuel source of the universe, but I do deal with the issues the gods cause from time to time. Moving on-”
“Wait hold on! God is real? Like the one in the bible? Or are you referring to someone else like Zeus in the Greek Pantheon or Krishna?”
“Hush, child. There’s no way I’m telling you any of that. Well, even if I wanted to, I’m not allowed to reveal anything about the particular universe you’re referring too so I’ll ask that you refrain from asking me questions about it. The important thing to note is yes, the gods do exist, and I maintain the balance between them. My job is to ensure that each mortal soul manages to gather as much divine energy as possible before I swoop in to harvest it. Good or bad divine energy, it really doesn’t matter to me. Just the amount.
Once a soul finally departs the body, the divine energy that the soul has gathered over its life starts to evaporate, so I need to be present as soon as this person perishes. Got to harvest while the fruit is ripe, am I right? Now you might ask, how does one person collect this divine energy of multiple worlds by himself? The answer is an extremely dedicated information system. I’ve been given an exact time of death for each person in the multiverse. Don’t ask me how, because I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew how that precocious woman does it.” Woman? I thought about who he could be referring too but The House kept talking up a storm, so I snapped out of my train of thought and kept listening.
“Using the data, I swoop in when I’m supposed to and harvest the energy. If my source is off even slightly, I could show up when the souls already significantly decayed or still alive, which is waaaay worse.
The various gods, including myself, rely on this energy to power themselves and make things happen so collecting the right amount is quite important. The longer the person lives, the more energy I get from the soul, but that doesn’t mean that all souls should live longer just for the sake of gathering energy. To maintain a proper balance, the energy gathered must be equal in all universes, so the various souls are taken to match the allotted amount of energy in each universe.
Here’s an example to help you understand. Let’s say in Universe A I harvest 20 units of divine energy from departed souls, that would mean I’d also have to harvest twenty units of divine energy from departed souls for Universes B, C, D, and so on. Now, the souls I can harvest vary greatly in energy depending on how long they lived and what they’ve accomplished. So hypothetically; if one soul in Universe A gives me ten units of energy, and another gives me five, that would mean universe B needs fifteen units of energy as well, but that doesn’t exactly mean that I only can harvest two souls in Universe B to make up the fifteen units. What if in Universe B I harvested three souls with five energy? Or five souls with three energy? I’d still end up with the fifteen units I required, you see? Like I said earlier, the numbers just have to be equal, and I don’t care what it takes to balance them. You follow so far?”
“I guess so, but what do you get out of overseeing this kind of arrangement?”
“I get a cut of the energy collected and some splendid entertainment watching you mortals struggle through you’re meager existence.”
“Really? That’s it?”
“Well, we divine beings don’t necessarily have a lot to do with our free time, immortality can be rather tedious and dull obviously.”
“Poor you. I’m devastated.”
“Cut the sarcasm because this is where things start to get complicated. Now, every once in a while, a person like you dies in a way that changes the world by affecting thousands of other souls, thus abruptly changing their time of death’s and ruining my attempted collection efforts. In this particular circumstance, your death led to countless people avoiding their planned fates by being more careful than they would have been normally. Understood?”
“I’m following you so far, but wouldn’t people living longer because of my death be a good thing for you? Isn’t there more energy to harvest now in the souls I affected or whatever?”
“That would be the case, if I could somehow calculate their new times of death, but that’s not theoretically possible for me. These souls you’ve affected have now been completely removed from the equation and need to be recalculated by that nosy woman. In short, the gods of your universe are currently low on energy because of the way you perished, Sake Shit-Pants.”
“Sucks to be them.”
“Not just them I’m afraid, but please hold your interruptions for now. It’s starting to get on my nerves.”
“Sorry Mom.”
“Keep testing me, I dare you. Now, here’s a skill-testing question for you. As the person who’s in control of this system currently, who do you think the gods blame every time a mortal’s death spirals out of whack?”
“Um, you?”
“Correct! Congratulations! You’ve our grand prize winner! Tell us what he’s won Johnny!” The House abruptly shouted as a puff of smoke surrounded him. When the smoke cleared, The House now had on a ridiculous toupee and was wearing a bright pink suit with a white carnation on his lapel. He looked exactly like one of those bad gameshow hosts you used to see on the television in the eighties.
“Let’s give a hand to our wonderful host, shall we?” For some reason I clapped, then felt stupid when I realized that I had been sucked into his performance. “Now after taking a peek under the curtain, even I can’t help but be slightly jealous. And who wouldn’t be? Our little Sake here has just won the prize of a lifetime. Or should I have said two lifetimes? The real question is: will Sake be able to make the most of it, or will he squander the opportunity afforded to him like the loser we know he is? Either way, it’s time to get excited folks. Our lucky contestant has just won…a trip to another world via reincarnation! Give him a hand, everybody!”
Cheers and clapping suddenly echoed throughout the tiny space I found myself in. Confused, I looked around at where the noise was coming from and was shocked to see that an excited audience was now sitting around us. Or maybe… I just noticed them. An ‘Applause’ sign and a ‘Quiet Please’ indicator light blinked above my head as the thunderous roars continued. Loud music played in the background, and I could see what looked like an orchestra sticking out from below The House’s stage. Bewildered by everything that was happening, I finally had enough and couldn’t take it anymore.
“Okay, what the f*ck is going on here?!”
Caught by surprise by my outburst, the music halted as the band comically stuttered from the outburst. A symphony of misplayed notes greeted my ears as the instruments abruptly stopped. Even if that was my fault, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the miscue. That chuckle died in my throat when I realized the room had gone deadly quiet. I finally looked over at my host and saw what had elicited the change in the audience. The House was clearly fuming. The House’s head suddenly turned bright red and blew up like a hot air balloon as he angrily snapped at me. “NO INTERRUPTING, YOU FILTHY WORM! ARE YOU BLIND?! YOU SEE THE SIGNS, RIGHT?! WE’RE LIVE RIGHT NOW, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!” The cigar and drink had vanished from his hands and in their place was an ominous-looking scythe. I could tell with a quick glance that I never wanted to ever see him use the business end of his weapon. The intensity in the room was palpable. I swallowed nervously and did the only thing I could think would get me out of this situation. I bowed as deeply as I could and apologized.
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” The House gave me a once over, then sighed and finally settled down. “OOPSIES. Lost my cool there. I guess I could have told you we had an audience instead of hinting at it by telling you to be quiet over and over. Then again, I blame the generation you lived in. The people of your era clearly have no respect for your elders.”
“I can’t argue with that.” The House took a deep breath and a nice drag from his cigar before he was finally ready to continue.
“I’m good now. Sorry about the outburst, but this contest is something I’ve decided to put my all in, so just know that I take it very seriously.”
“Contest?”
“That’s right. I’ve organized a little contest you’ll be participating in. You see, our lovely audience has paid quite a pretty penny for their exquisite viewing pleasure. I will not tolerate anything that ruins the show for my guests, is that understood?” I nodded as quickly as possible to show that I wouldn’t do anything to harm the flow of the act he was putting on anymore, hoping that my relative speed answering him would help settle the angry god down. The House smiled and casually leaned back in his throne. After a brief moment of silence, he continued. “So, like I was saying before someone interrupted me, I was being berated by the gods of your world for the nth time, completely bored out of my mind, no thanks to you, when an emergency arose. Are you familiar with multiverse theory?”
“I know a bit.” If it wasn’t for a popular studio’s particular superhero franchise, I’d probably wouldn’t have known anything at all, but luckily, the media had practically used the concept to death over the past ten years. By the year I had died, space time continuum stories had basically replaced the zombie movie craze that had dominated most of the last decade. At this point, almost every studio in the world was trying to do something similar. I had always been a movie-junkie and couldn’t help but get sucked into the craze like everyone else. After all the nights I spent analyzing scenes and dialogue, arguing with other people in chat rooms, and reading relevant material I found interesting, I practically considered myself an expert on the subject. I wasn’t going to tell The House that though.
The House nodded to himself before continuing, “That will make this easier. The first thing you should know; there are multiple universes and multiple sets of gods for each world. I don’t just watch over one universe. I’m responsible for all of them. That means there’s multiple pools of energy I have to keep maintained as well.”
“You sure like the word multiple.”
“Shut your trap. I realized that the gods of the multiverse weren’t mad about not getting their divine energy. Instead, the true cause of their anger was the disparity in size between the multiple pools of energy. Inequality and stupid people dying like you had created a rift between the various gods over the centuries, but I realized what really was bothering them. Gods are fickle creatures, in the end they all just want a level playing field, you see? Can’t really blame them for that. Jeez, why am I explaining this to you? You know what I’m talking about, you humans practically invented inequality. Racism and economic classes have been regulating humans on earth to the bottom for no reason since your species first learned how to communicate.”
“I’d like to say that you’re wrong, but honestly, that’s a fair observation.”
“Indeed. Unfortunately for me, due to the nature of my contract with the gods, I’m bound to help them even if I don’t really want to. Seriously though, why would I? Like honestly, do you think the gods even realize how much work goes into a balancing act of this caliber? I do so much for them and they’re never grateful either. Bunch of stuck-up jerks if you’d ask me, but there’s no point continuously complaining about them. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. It be one thing if I could just fix the natural order with the wave of a hand, but even I can’t just make missing divine energy appear out of nowhere. The laws I’m bound to also stipulate that I’m not allowed to do any redistribute energy either. Therefore, the system is fundamentally broken. So anyways, that’s the dilemma that I had been dealing with until an opportunity recently presented itself.”
“Okay, is that where I come in?”
“That’s correct. Now, put yourself in my shoes for a moment. If you were me, utterly bored with doing the same repetitive task every day and not seeing any change in the result, what would you do about it?”
I thought about it for a moment and contemplated what kind of personality the house had. “Well, if I was you and I couldn’t just give the gods of one world energy or redistribute the energy pools, I would probably try to devise a new way for the gods to gather energy while also finding some way to personally benefit.”
“You catch on quick kid, and I’ve got to say, love the evil mastermind thing you’ve got going on, it suits you.” The House said with a chuckle. “Back to our situation. It took some maneuvering behind the scenes and some additional planning on my part, but I eventually found a world in need of Divine Intervention.”
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“Divine Intervention?”
“Every so often, a couple of gods will act out of line and try to unnaturally grow their energy pool by force. When that happens, the gods of the multiverse come together and vote on a process known as Divine Intervention. They then decide if direct intervention from the gods is necessary to maintain the divine energy balance between the worlds. If they do decide that action is necessary, the various gods would then gather heroic individuals from their respective worlds and send them off to stop the incoming disaster. Problem is, the last time this happened, the heroes failed. Horribly, I might add. They definitely made things worse. This failure caused turmoil to swirl amongst the divine, and they gathered once more to debate. Using the chaos that arose from the situation, I convinced the gods to allow me to take over the Divine Intervention process. With a condition, of course.”
“Well, duh. Of course, you would have a condition. I think you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t care what happens to anyone else.”
“Hee-hee-hee, I knew I picked a good one this time, and you’re right. I don’t care. Still, a balanced multiverse is easier to control and would have its benefits, even for someone like me. Unfortunately, accomplishing that is easier said than done and without reward isn’t even worth the effort. That’s why I devised this little game you heroes will be playing.” The shadow said with a wicked laugh. “Now, your body might be gone on Earth, but I can procure a new one for you in the world of Azealia.”
“Azealia?”
“Basically, Azealia is the place we discussed that needs Divine Intervention. It’s your typical fantasy world full of magic, various species, and has an incredibly detailed feudal society. The denizens of that world are about to have a full-on apocalypse in the form of a demonic invasion brought on by The Demon King. Not that it matters to me, but many Azealians will perish in the coming battles and certain gods from that world will become so powerful they’ll basically be completely unrivalled by any other group of deities. It’s imperative that less than thirty million mortals die in the coming fight if we are to avoid the worst outcome possible. I want to send some people to Azealia who can prevent this from happening and stop the multiverse from becoming too unbalanced for even me to correct. People with knowledge of science and technology should be able to turn a medieval fantasy world on its head, right? I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun finding different applications for magic and science or whatever.”
“That sounds pretty cool, but how am I supposed to stop an apocalypse from happening? I’m just a regular kid.”
“Oh trust me, if I could pick my own candidate I’d definitely choose someone far better than you, but right now I can only relocate souls from universes that avoided being naturally harvested, and you fall in that boat with your unplanned slip and fall. The energy you gather in Azealia will directly cover the disparity caused by your death too, so no worries there. Then there’s also the fact that some of your gods basically paid me to get rid of you after what happened.”
“Did I really screw things up that much for them?”
“Oh, most definitely. I myself would have probably just smited you instead of dealing with the fallout, but the gods of your world tend to not like get involved in the lives of mortals, even when they’re the ones that would be the most affected by that individual. If you ask me, their all bat-shit crazy but they did force you on me. With that being said, throwing in the perfect person wouldn’t have been much fun anyway, now would it? No way José, obviously the most exciting personalities are the worst ones.”
“I see. So in other words, you’re stuck with me because I need to gather some of the energy I lost?”
“Well not just you, but yes.”
“What did you mean by ‘not just you’?”
“I mean that you aren’t the only idiot I’ve plucked from Earth or elsewhere to participate in this little game of mine. In fact, your actually contestant number forty-seven. The final contestant, I should add.”
“Did you say contestant? And number forty-seven? Is this supposed to be part of the ‘entertainment’ you mentioned earlier?”
“Good instincts. Like you alluded to earlier, what point would there be in taking over Divine Intervention if I couldn’t personally benefit from it myself? I sat on this very throne, stumped for a century or two when I finally had a glorious epiphany. I actually got the idea from those ridiculous contest shows you earthlings in the 21st century are obsessed with. The way I saw it, the whole situation sounded like a giant game already, so I figured, why not make it one?
What if not one, but several people were trying to stop the apocalypse in their own various ways? What if some of these people weren’t even present to help at all, but actually there to try and make the worst happen? But there was one more problem I had to solve. How do I get the gods involved? Then it hit me. What if a god could bet divine energy on their favourite contestants? Even I couldn’t help but get excited. All the sudden there was so many fun possibilities. The amount of energy I’m about to rake in…to be honest with you, I’m getting hard again just thinking about it.”
“Gross, thanks for sharing. Whatever floats your boat, bro.”
“I’m sorry about that, but this whole thing is so…stimulating. I just can’t help myself. Before long, the whole idea had slowly strung itself together in my head. You don’t need to know all the specifics, but I’ve basically set up a little wager system for me and the gods of the different universes where they can tune in and watch the show. They in turn then bet their divine energy through my casino on everything they possibly can. There’s the standard bet; where gods can put down divine energy on the contestant they think will actually win, or hedge bets, like the first contestant to kill an A-Ranked monster or even the next person to kick the bucket.
That way, I can gather more energy for myself while doing the absolute bare minimum for the gods - Oops - I meant while trying my hardest. Can we cut that last bit?” A little imp-demon thing that was controlling the camera tried to pull out the film from the side of the camera and tried to use its claws to slice it, but the film wouldn’t cut no matter how hard the creature tried. “No? Oh well. Please ignore that, faithful viewers.”
“Is that why you’re being so overly-theatrical? The amount of energy you’ll be gathering is viewer dependant, am I right? That’s the reason why you’re acting like the host of a bad television show.”
“Ouch. You got me there, kid. Of course ratings matter. That’s why we’re already filming. Don’t you see all the equipment?” The House said with a light-hearted chuckle as he pointed towards the corner before leaning in close to whisper in my ear. “Smile and wave like your life depends on it.” I looked in the direction The House had pointed but there was nothing actually there. The House seemed to be waiting for something and eventually I got the message. I gave a brief but awkward wave and a camera materialized with a shimmer momentarily right where I was looking. The applause sign from earlier suddenly lit up again and we we’re surrounded again by another chorus of celebration.
“I think I saw it for a moment.”
“Oh right, I forgot. That’s not an accident. Can’t have the normal people of Azealia seeing video cameras or other mysterious machines they wouldn’t be able to comprehend right? It would probably cause a small panic, so to speak. The cameras will remain invisible for now, but they’ll always be watching, so there’s no need to worry about them. That being said, I’m sure you have a few concerns about constant surveillance.”
I’ll say. It sounds like you gods are a bunch of perverts.”
“Well not me, but I can’t say the same about the other gods. After all, you never know what happens behind closed doors at the winter solstice, am I right?”
“Gross, but I still don’t love this ‘constantly being watched’ thing you’ve got going on.”
“Please. I just told you the gods of your world have been watching you unfiltered since the day you we’re born, but this is what bothers you?”
“Fair point.”
“As unsettling as constant surveillance is, please note that the cameras were designed with personal privacy in mind and won’t transmit anything to riské. I’m not a freak like the others and have no desire to see your junk flopping about so I can assure you that you have nothing to be worried about. Does that satisfy you?”
I’m not sure I like the idea of being constantly observed by a group of random strangers, but if the gods do exist like The House has been saying, they’ve already been watching us forever. I guess it wouldn’t make sense to get nervous about something like that now.
“I guess that’s fine, but even I have to admit this whole plan of yours is pretty despicable. With all the betting that’ll be taking place, the name you chose to take on makes some sense, but you’re basically playing with people’s lives and the livelihood of all of the gods. Don’t they care that you’re not taking this Divine Intervention thing seriously? Are you sure you should be telling me this?”
“Oh, cry me a river you big baby. Try to think about it logically for a second here. GODS ARE SELFISH. The fact of the matter is that gods care about their own energy pools and the only reason they watch each other is to make sure another universe isn’t getting more than what they get themselves. Otherwise, those butt-wipes wouldn’t have even bothered acting at all. With this new system, I’ve given them a way to increase their personal gains while making it actually worth their while to intervene in the schemes of their counterparts. Seriously, all I had to do was wave a little extra energy under their noses and they all agreed to my plan almost immediately.”
“But…why do this? It doesn’t seem like you care if we succeed or not.”
“Seriously? I already told you I don’t care about Azealia. Think about it this way, you humans have several stories about the gods screwing over mortals for no reason, yet for some reason you still haven’t realized that we enjoy fucking with you? We have, and always will take pleasure in playing with the lives of mortals. It’s. What. Gods. Do. What I actually care about is gathering more energy for myself, get it?
Besides, giving the rest of those bastards a small taste of their own medicine is good for them every once in a while, don’t you think? You can’t deny that it keeps everyone humble. This way, the gods are far less likely to step out of line next time an opportunity presents itself in my honest opinion. If I can do this to the gods of Azealia who were dumb enough to force the triggering of a Divine Intervention, what’s stopping me from doing it to every world whenever I want? This’ll teach them a lesson that they all won’t soon forget. The gods would rather stand a little light-hearted ribbing then miss this opportunity to gain more energy for themselves, and I intend to lift my position in the multiverse. Everybody wins, well, except for the Azealians.”
“Well when you put it that way…”
“Ya, I figured that would shut you up pretty quickly.”
“Can I ask you something else? If the gods watching us right now, why are you purposely going out of your way to antagonize them?”
“Simple. The fact is, it doesn’t matter what I say. That’s literally how bored and selfish they all are. Some of the more anger-prone individuals might not be able to take my light-hearted ribbing, but the smart ones know that the real fun’s just about to start. There not going anywhere and they wouldn’t miss this for anything. And even if they we’re bothered by my comments, it’s too late for them to do anything about it. I did get their approval to act in any way I see fit, after all. If anything, it’s their fault for not carefully reading the fine print of the contract I gave them.”
“So they’re a captive audience. Again, good for you. I have one more question.”
“Oh? Shoot.”
“What do I get for participating?”
“Jeez, a second chance at life isn’t enough for you? Ungrateful worms.”
“Hey! I get that we humans can be rather impulsive, but we’re not that bad.”
“Really? That’s news to me. I’ll have you know that every single contestant asked that same question. I seriously think that not a single one of you would have even participated in the first place without an additional reward. Absolutely amazing. I never thought it be possible for a lesser species to somehow be even more despicable than the divine. Colour me impressed-”
“Additional reward?” I quickly cut in, hoping that would end the tangent The House was on but it had the opposite effect.
“Did you even hear everything else I said? Look at you, you’re so excited you’re eyes are practically bulging outside of your head. The fact that you-Ugh, what’s the point of explaining this? Forget it. Yes, there’s an additional reward. The winning contestant will get something I’ve never offered before. A return ticket.”
“What’s a return ticket? Judging from the context…Wait, you can’t be serious.”
“Completely. The winner will be reincarnated back into their world and time period again. Obviously we can’t put you back into the same body, but we’ll figure something out when and if we get there. Now, all of these pesky questions are delaying us from starting and we’ve got the best part coming up next. Character creation and class selection.” The House said as it put down its glass and snapped its fingers.
A floating holographic screen suddenly materialized in front of me and it took every fiber of my being to not jump back in shock, but I didn’t want to give The House the satisfaction of knowing that he got me once again. I quickly wiped the surprised look from my face and steeled myself for whatever was coming next. “This is your terminal, a personal assist device I’ve invented that each player gets. You can make the device appear in the real world by saying ‘Open Terminal’ and vanish with the phrase ‘Close Terminal’. Go ahead try it out. Did I mention that it’s a touch screen?”
I had questions but movement from the screen’s surface caught my eye and distracted me. The cursor seemed to move by itself as it hovered over an icon along the top left corner of the screen. The cursor tapped on the icon and a program popped up. In a matter of seconds, the program filled with text boxes and I tried to get a better look. A long list appeared that was titled Available Classes. From what I could make out; the list consisted of your classic video game RPG classes. I saw names like Cleric, Fire Wizard, Tamer and Berserker, just to list a few. I could even see some historical classes based on cultures from earth like Samurai, Gladiator and Ninja, but I just figured The House had made those to make the other people from earth more comfortable.
There’s even a hero class, obviously. You can’t do an RPG without the hero class, right? Definitely not my first choice, but we are talking about fighting and defeating a Demon King here, so that’s got to be the safest option. I guess I’m going with that one.
I tried to click the Hero class, but nothing happened. Thinking I must have done something incorrectly, I clicked the class again and waited. A few moments went by but still nothing changed. Just for fun, I tried to pick some of the other classes too but the same thing happened every time. Finally fed up with the lack of response from my terminal, I turned back to The House to see if he was pulling my leg. The shadowy figure sat in its throne leaning on one arm nonchalantly, slowly swirling the liquid in its glass as it looked off into the distance.
“Um, Mr. House sir? I think something’s wrong with my terminal.”
“Why would you assume that?”
“All of the classes are blacked out. I can’t actually select any of these.”
“Well, duh. There’s an obvious reason for that. I hate repeats. There just so totally unoriginal, you know? I decided that having two contestants with the same class absolutely sucks. So in an effort to keep things interesting I made it so each class can only be chosen once.”
“But all the classes have been selected already. Judging from my count there’s also only forty-six of them.”
“That does tends to happen when you pick last, after all.”
“Well that’s not fair-”
“Tah-tah-tah. I don’t want to hear any complaining about what number you are. I’ll have you know that the selection order was determined completely at random and I didn’t orchestrate any special considerations for anyone. Don’t worry though, because of the disadvantage of being last, I prepared something unique for the final contestant. By the way, you also get a bigger skill point bank to start with than any of the other players.”
“Fair enough.”
“Now if you look again, you’ll see a special class that was made available only to you.” A new option materialized at the bottom of the list, surrounded by flashing lights and a neon sign with an arrow pointing at the class that said ‘Pick This One Stupid’. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I followed the arrow to where it indicated. I read the class name, then once more after initially thinking I’d made an error, but the name was still the same the second time. I’ve played a ton of video games in my life, but I’ve never heard of any RPG class like this before.
“Sovereign? Is that like a king or whatever? Do I get to have my own country?”
“Sort-of. I would more aptly describe it as the king of classes, but you will have to rule over a country. It’s one of the few Wild Cards that I threw together for our little game.”
“Wild Cards?”
“That’s just the name I’ve given to a few special classes that I personally designed. Everyone expects the Hero to be the one to vanquish the Demon King due to certain abilities and skills that this person will inherit as they level up, but I thought it would be nice to have a few classes that could shake up the narrative. That is, if their used correctly. I couldn’t just stack the deck for you though, so the Wild Card classes do come with some drawbacks to offset their bonuses. Pretty sneaky, right? There not the only player type I’ve thought up, either.”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway, but what are the other types?”
“I’m so glad you asked. The Hero and Demon King have top-billing in our little play so let’s refer to them as our Face Cards to keep things simple, shall we? They have the highest odds of winning out of all the contestants. The next type would be the Neutral Cards. This player type is rather self-explanatory. These are people who have personalities that could cause them to potentially join any side of the upcoming fight, and not just whatever side you might be on. They make up the largest group of players in the game. Lastly is the Flop Cards. These players are in the game for one reason: to sabotage everyone else. They’re the worst of the worst potential players I have, hands down. Their definitely my favourite contestants.”
“Avoid the Flop Cards. That seems simple enough.”
“I knew you’d catch on quickly! Now, the Face cards might be the most important players in our game, but that doesn’t mean that their destined to win it all. It might not seem like it, but I’m a huge purveyor of fair chance. Face Cards might have the greatest advantage initially, but that doesn’t mean that the Neutral, Wild, or Flop Cards can’t win this entire thing for themselves by making the right moves.”
“Interesting. You mentioned that the Wild Card classes come with drawbacks. What are the drawbacks for the Sovereign class?”
“In your particular case, you won’t get to pick your character’s age or race. The most important drawback of your class though is this; the sovereign class does not earn class EXP in the same ways that the other players do. The Sovereign class uses the acquisition of loyal subjects to level up and gain experience points.”
“That’s…”
“Horrifying? I figured an introvert like you would hate that.”
“So, you did this on purpose?”
“What, little ol’ me? What would ever make you think that?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s everything you’ve said and done so far.”
“Touché. By the way, Sovereign is also the only class that can lose EXP if your subjects decide to turn on you, so treat them well or it will be you’re end. You can level up you're fighting and lifestyle skills in the normal ways though, so don’t worry about them. You’ll also be transferred to the most dangerous available starting area. As a new king, you do need unclaimed territory to rule over, after all. Then there’s the matter of your opponents. The other players will mostly have to deal with smaller-scaled skirmishes between individuals, but you’ll do most of your fighting on a national level instead. Be wary of that.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
“Excellent. I have one more warning for you. I should mention that when we ran our beta test a few years back, the tester who had tried the Sovereign class didn’t last more than eleven months before he was left for dead by his ‘friends’ and savagely eaten by wild animals.”
“Great, that really inspires a ton of confidence.” I said while rolling my eyes. “Besides the skill point bonus, those all sound like huge negatives to me. What about the supposed benefits?”
“The Sovereign get three weapon proficiencies and seven different magical affinities. That’s a big difference when compared with what everyone else got. You’ll also get a few skills a king would need for free like EZ-Build, Linguistics, Reading & Writing, Calculations, Etiquette, Asset Manager, Riding, Leadership, Kingcraft and Mana Manipulation. These skills already come at the max level. Does that work for you? Are you finished complaining yet?”
“Well, that’s a little better.”
“Indeed. Before I allow you to make your last few choices, please note that you will not get another chance at any of these selections. Make sure you’re completely satisfied with what you’ve chosen, and you lock in all of your picks. I will now pass the terminal over to you. You’ll have thirty minutes to make your choices. Good luck.” There was a light clicking sound and the page I was on minimized to show a desktop with several different icons. The House briefly explained how each of these categories would either cost me skill points or be left up to my choice depending on the class I got. Looking at the point bank in the top right corner, I could see that I had three thousand total skill points to distribute however I saw fit. With that, The House left me to play around with the terminal.
Okay, I was just in the program called ‘Class Selection’. That was this icon in the top corner that looks like a stick figure. So next would be this icon here that looks like a crossed sword and bow. A window called Weapon Proficiencies popped open with a small digital chime. Holy shit. There are literally thousands of different types of weapons. This is beyond overwhelming…its way too much for any normal person to handle. No wonder there’s a time limit. This choice alone could take me all day if I had the time to spare. I parsed through the options as fast as possible, but nothing stuck out as being largely better than the others. It seems like this choice boils down to personal preference. I’m thinking I’ll take Sword Mastery: Shadow Style. With how many different types of swords there probably are, it’s got to be one of the more versatile options on here. Not to mention the small fact that shadow style sounded bad ass. I’ll also take Dagger Mastery in case I’ve got to get in close and Firearm Proficiency for long-range attacks. That should do it. Damn, I’ve already used 300 points! I’ve got to be more careful with how much everything costs. Hold on, what’s this little sideways arrow at the bottom? My curiosity eventually got the better of me and I pressed the arrow with the terminal’s cursor. A second page transitioned into place where the first had been.
The page loaded and the title Combat Skills revealed itself. Most of the listed skill names seemed easy enough to grasp what they would do. After a quick investigation, it seemed that I could load a brief description of the skills I didn’t understand. I made my choices and then hovered over the lock symbol when The House interrupted me.
“Hmm. So, you’ve picked Acrobat, Dual Wielding, Dual Casting, Marksman, Quick Casting and Hyper Regeneration for a total of 1000 skill points? Pretty weird choices. Shouldn’t all of your skills be useful together? The skills you selected are all over the place. I mean you’ve got two skill for magic users, three skills for melee combat, and a ranged skill. Aren’t you kind of breaking an RPG Taboo here by not sticking with and going down one combat style?”
“Technically you’re correct, and if this was just a regular game my selections would probably be terrible, but I really don’t know what to expect from Azealia or you for that matter. Having skills in similar talents is fine if I’m only fighting, but I truly don’t know what problems I may face down the road.”
“You make it sound like I’m some sort of manipulative evil genius.”
“Am I really that far off?”
“Oh, how you wound me good sir! How will I ever recover? All jokes aside, you’re absolutely sure about this then?”
“As sure as I’ll ever be.”
The House nodded with a small smile before waving me off. I looked back towards my terminal and locked my selections in again before minimizing the window. The next icon consisted of a top hat and magic wand. Well, I wonder what this could be? Not. The next window that opened was titled Magical Affinities, confirming my suspicions from earlier. The House said I get seven of these. Each one costs 100 points. Let’s see…what’s this? Skill required for class. It seems that I have to take Dark Magic and Space Magic… so I really only get five choices.
Okay, that doesn’t change too much for me. Time to think. Space Magic was a must anyway. Being able to teleport and store items in pocket dimensions is straight OP. Taming Magic also would be extremely useful in mounted combat and animal husbandry has been a very important tool in humanity’s natural progression. Mind Magic will grant me the ability to communicate telepathically with my subordinates and allow me to read their thoughts. Considering my classes defects, I definitely could use that.
That leaves three picks left. Just like my class, the magic types I’ve already selected are all wild cards, I could see myself finding various applications for each of them. Preferably for my next choices, I’d like to pick different types of magic that specializes in defense, offence, and utility respectively. Earth magic is probably the easiest to use defensively. Nothing like throwing up a wall of stone or a fortress if I’m ever in trouble. For offence, I’m going to go with Lightning Magic. It has destructive capabilities, and most people wear metal in a fantasy world. Here’s hoping that leads to some easy K.O.’s. In Anoch’s Crossing, Lightning Magic can come with the ability to stun or shock an enemy as well. If this world is anything like that, then inflicting a bonus status effect could be the difference between life and death.
The last decision was the toughest for me. Should I go with Holy Magic or Support Magic? I sat there contemplating until I realized I only had fifteen minutes left. In the end, I decided to go with Support Magic for one main reason. Holy Magic is great against the undead but useless against the living. It also has healing capabilities, but even with that, it still was clearly the weakest affinity when compared to all the other types. Support Magic would also allow me to buff certain aspects of myself and my subjects, reducing their inherent weaknesses and bolstering their strengths. I moved on to the next icon.
The fourth icon had the symbol for addition on it. The page that opened was the sparsest one yet. The word ‘Stats’ was written at the top and a tiny group of words proceeded down the length of the page. Beside each word was something that looked like a giant carnival wheel. Two clickable buttons we’re at the bottom of the page, labelled ‘A’ and ‘B’ respectively. “You finally made it to stat selection, huh?” The House interjected from his throne with a knowing smile. How did he know that? He can’t see my screen from where he’s sitting…I might as well play along.
“Looks like it.”
“Awesome. You’ve got two options here. Option A: distribute 35 stat points however you see fit amongst the available categories. This option gives the player control over their initial starting stats. Option B: Try your luck. You lose the chance to distribute the points yourself, but you gain the possibility of acquiring more than 35 points.”
“It’s a classic risk vs reward scenario, huh?”
“Indeed. The wheel next to each statistic will spin and we’ll see what you get. It could be extremely beneficial for you, but fate can also be cruel sometimes. Choose wisely.”
I internally debated on which option I thought was best. Eventually I decided that I’d take my chances with Option B. I was never the type to play it safe anyways. I pressed the button for option B. The wheels next to the stat page whirled into life with a musical pitch, rotating faster and faster as it started to turn.
“Whenever you’re ready hit the stop button.”
I tried to gauge the speed of the wheels and waited for a moment before I slammed the button at what I thought was the perfect time. The terminal made a horrible sound that was almost like a car’s break mechanisms as it desperately slowed the rotating wheels down. The machine eventually grinded to a halt, and I could hear the numbered slots slowly sliding over the last few rotations with an ominous clicking noise.
“Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows!” The Shadow shouted with a cackle.
“I’m glad someone’s enjoying this.”
“C’mon now, don’t be such a spoilsport. Big money, big money, big money…” The House stated with a laugh as the pace of the wheel’s spokes clicking against the arm of the machine finally stopped.
The wheels finally stopped clicking and the anticipation was too much. I prayed that I hadn’t made a mistake and braced myself for major disappointment. This was stupid. I should’ve picked option A. At least I would have had some piece of mind over how the points were distributed.
“What’s this? Why the long face? You sounded so sure of yourself during all that talk earlier. What happened? Starting to second guess ourselves, are we? Why don’t you take a look first before you start desperately panicking about results that might not even be there?”
I opened my eyes and reluctantly took a peek at the terminal. Huh…well, I guess I can work with this. This isn’t exactly how I would have distributed the points myself, but it’s not too far off from what I would have liked. Judging from a quick tally I did, I seemed to have rolled a total of 46 points. The numbers that we’re picked from the wheels we’re shown next to their respective stats and the rest of the page had changed to show other relevant information these stats would affect. I took a few seconds to look at the numbers presented to me but there was a ton of things that caught my attention. I really don’t have much time left at this point, so I should spend a few minutes reviewing this page later on.
The last icon had the picture of a farming stick figure as its thumbnail image. I clicked the icon and a page titled Lifestyle Skills opened. The list on this page had even more options than the Weapon Proficiency list. A small window above the skills indicated that I had 1000 skill points remaining. These skills varied in the number of points needed to purchase. The skills covered a vast range, I could see everything from gathering skills to educational skills had been listed here. More than a few of them stuck out to me. There’s the classics like Blacksmithing, Medicine Making and Appraisal, but what’s Naming? This world has Engineering too. I calmly put together a list of skills I thought would be essential and then grabbed a few interesting ones with the leftover points I had.
After closing this program, a prompt popped-up over the home page that read ‘Extra Decisions Detected’ as two tinier windows opened behind the message. The first window wanted me to pick three starting items. I decided to go with something called The Ring of Concealment that prevented the user from being appraised, a book titled Yashin’s Encyclopedia of Everything that I could use to learn more about Azealia, and something called The Boundless Water Skin that magically stayed full no matter how much you drank from it.
The second window must have appeared because I had picked Taming Magic. Based off the brief description at the top, I was now going to get the chance to pick my starting pet. There were a few cool options that stuck out immediately like the two-headed wolf, velociraptor, and flame salamander, but these pets seemed to be a tad more combat oriented than anything else. What I wanted was a pet that would give my character some sort of buff. Having an extra ally in combat is great and all, but not at the cost of that ally being only useful in battle. Looking at what was available, I was starting to lose hope when I finally found the perfect pet near the back of the catalogue.
Hound of Fortune? It kind of looks like the King Charles Cavalier Spaniel breed. My ex-girlfriend Asuna from middle school had the same kind of dog, I think. It doesn’t have any combat capabilities…Whoa, hold up. The dog comes with some skill called Danger Detection and boosts my luck stat!? I’m still not sure what the luck stat even does, but Danger Detection sounds perfect considering how perilous my starting area is. Okay, that settles it. This is definitely the pet I’m going to go with.
I picked the hound after going through all of the other options, satisfied that I chose right. A window appeared that showed a brief overview of my selections before asking me for a character name and to pick a starting deity. I clicked yes after randomly selecting Aliyah, the goddess of wisdom and wrote the first name down that came to my mind. Finished for now, the terminal vanished into thin air with the same digital chime it had magically arrived with.
“All done, are we? Look at you, finally ready to go. My, my, they grow up so fast.” The House said with a little chuckle. He suddenly paused for a moment as he went over the information on his own display. “Adam Vegas?”
“Ya, like ‘Las Vegas’. What do you think? I figured a guy who called himself 'The House’ would get a kick out of a name like that and considering the nature of the game- Whoa, are you crying?”
“I can’t help it. You just…understand me completely. This must be destiny.”
“Okay I get that you’re satisfied with my choices, but you’re creeping me the hell out. Could you maybe relax a little?”
“I apologize. Suddenly I feel like the proud parent who’s about to send their precious child off into the world for the first time.” The House vehemently moaned while sniffling. He carefully pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose repeatedly before he wiped his eyes.
“Please. If anything, it’s more like you’re a rich parent who’s pretending to be affectionate by peppering his child with flashy gifts, but whatever.”
“So cruel. Has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole before?”
“About three times a day for the last ten years or so, but who’s counting?”
“I’d say it kind of sounds like you’ve been.”
“Touché.”
“As much as I’m enjoying this; I don’t want to repeat myself, so listen to what I have to say carefully. The game has certain rules that you’ll need to abide by.
Rule one: No spoiling the charade. I’ll have you know that revealing your identity as one of the reincarnated to the natural inhabitants of this world will have dire consequences for anyone involved. I’ve fabricated back stories for each character, so I’d suggest you stick to them if you know what’s good for you. You can read the one I wrote for your class in the journal app on your terminal.
Rule two: Stay away from the void. There is an area that separates all known physical boundaries in our multiverse. This is known as the void. Going there on purpose will result in an automatic disqualification. Capeché?
Rule three: Don’t touch the merchandise. Do anything to the camera’s or any of my recording equipment and I’ll shoot your body into the sun so fast you won’t even have time to apply sunscreen.
Lastly and most importantly is rule four: Wait for the finale. The Demon King has been forbidden from attacking the southern continent for the first twenty years, so I’ve decided that you players can’t pre-emptively attack him either to keep things fair. That means you have twenty years to get ready for the end.”
“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Oh, one more thing. I’ve devised a secret code for you players to communicate. If you’re ever suspicious that a person you’ve met is really another player and you want to talk to them about it, tell them ‘The House Always Wins’ and they’ll know that you’re not originally from Azealia either.”
“Someone thinks highly of himself…” I muttered under my breath.
“Now in an effort to keep things interesting,” The House completely ignored my and went back to his monologue. “I’ve instructed the neutral cards to team up with whoever they’d like. Fair warning though; the other wild cards, flop cards and the face cards know the code as well. I’ve made sure that all the wild cards will have a few neutrals spawn around them as an advantage. Personally, I would start by finding a few of them to make life easier on yourself.”
“How do I find them though?”
“What, do you expect me to hand you all the answers? Figure it out yourself. We’ve delayed for long enough.” The House responded, clearly he wasn’t going to answer my question. “The world of Azealia is waiting. Here’s a welcome kit to help you get started.” The House threw a bag at me that I promptly swung over my shoulder. With that, my host turned back to the audience to address the crowd.
“The preparations are set. All initial bids have been locked in. As your host, I would like to take this moment to thank you all in the audience for your long-anticipated patronage. Remember folks, there’s always another opportunity to win big at my little establishment, so there’s no need to get too down on yourself if things don’t go your way initially. You know what they say; you win some, and you lose some. Sulking about the results of your bet won’t change the outcome, but another bet might ease your suffering. We are not liable for any loses you may incur and have no control over any of the results. Please gamble responsibly. With that being said; let’s try to have fun, everyone. Farewell and good luck!!!”
The House pressed a button on his throne and the walls around me began to move at an alarming speed. The room we we’re in hurtling through space like a comet, passing several different constellations and systems in a wormhole-like tunnel. The light from the stars and galaxies blended together beautifully as the various images flashed by me in mere seconds. I tried to comprehend what I was seeing, but a horrible pain throbbed in my skull when I tried to concentrate on any distinct point for more than a moment. We continued onward until the tunnel I was in ended without warning and my ‘ride’ paused, suspending me in the air momentarily over a vast, empty wasteland.
I barely had time to blink before I started moving again, but this time I could tell that I was now being pulled downwards by a mysterious force, falling dangerously fast towards the ground. I desperately tried to stop my descent by flailing my limbs like a bird, but nothing I did helped stop me. By my calculations, I was going to be a human version of pancake in less than a minute. With nothing left to try, I prayed for a miracle with my eyes shut and waited for the thud of the approaching impact, but I blacked out just seconds away from hitting the ground.
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