Izuku stayed silent throughout the drive towards the nearest police station. Patches – who was quite surprised at the comfiness of the seat – glared at the police officer who was visibly flinching underneath the sleazy but trusty Undead merchant.

The car stopped and the police hopped out of the car. They opened the doors to the backseat where Izuku and Patches were cuffed on.

“Come on, out!” the police yelled at the two Undead with a visible vein on his head. “And no funny business, am I clear?”

Izuku stayed quiet while Patches snickered when the police officer turned his back. The metal circle cuffing his hands is quite weak, so he could get out at a moment’s notice. However, his old pal, Izuku of Musutafu – who was leagues above his own strength – followed their lead, so he complied.

Not that he enjoyed it, no… It reminded him of the dungeons in Lothric Castle.

‘Where the hell is that thief, anyway?’ Patches would’ve scratched his bald head if it weren’t for the cuffs obviously restraining his arm movements.

The two of them were led into the lobby of the station, officers of different ranks busy roaming about their jobs and businesses. The moment they entered, however, all of them stared at Izuku. Sure, they dealt with villains and whatnot, young and old, it didn’t matter. What caught their attention, however, was his impassionate face, as if all of this was like an annoyance to him than a threat to his current life.

They ignored him a few seconds later as they had jobs to be done. The officer leading the two Undead, one a potential criminal and the other a potential vigilante, stops for a moment and turns towards the two.

“You, kid,” Izuku looks at the officer – who he would forget in a few more hours – with a stoic face. “I don’t know why you tried playing hero, but public Quirk usage without a license is still a crime. You might get away with a slap on the wrist, but make sure you don’t do that again and put your life in danger.”

Hearing that, Patches couldn’t hold it in any longer and begins laughing like a madman. The officer glares at Patches and readies his baton in case the bald man becomes aggressive.

“You… Haha… You… Really think… hehe… That this guy right here,” Patches pointed at Izuku with his hands still cuffed in between snorts and bouts of laughter, “was in any danger? Oh… By Gwynevere’s giant cow tits… I doubt the entirety of guards in this place could take him down, least of all touch him.”

Izuku deadpanned at Patches pouring oil on the fire, as observed by the red face of the officer in front of him. To be demeaned by a villain who said that the wannabe hero – who was still in his U.A. uniform, mind you – beside him was stronger than the whole Musutafu police force combined, was incredibly insulting.

The officer was about to yell and hit Patches with his baton for disrespecting the badge, but was stopped when a gloved hand grabbed his shoulder.

“I’ll take it from here, officer. Dismissed,” Detective Tsukauchi with his signature detective coat, a faint frown adorning his face, said.

“Y-yes, sir!” the officer saluted and walked off, not looking back at the grinning face of Patches.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“I must say, Mr. Midoriya, that you being here must be so unfortunate,” Tsukauchi took a key from his pocket and unlocked the cuffs that were restraining Izuku’s hands.

“Thanks,” Izuku elicited a brief nod of appreciation at the removal of his restraints.

“You, however,” Tsukauchi pocketed the key, “will keep those on.”

Patches grumbled in response to that.

“Don’t worry Patches, you’ll get it off soon enough,” Izuku smiled faintly at the sleazy Undead merchant, which in turn caused Tsukauchi to lock onto Izuku’s face.

“Do you perhaps, know this man?”

“Yes, I do,” Izuku’s smile faded away and his impassive face returned. “He is Undead, like me.”

“… This just gets worse and worse…” Tsukauchi rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sigh. His Quirk was telling him that yes, Izuku did not lie, and this man was indeed, the same as Izuku.

‘Once this case is over, I’m asking for a vacation,’ Tsukauchi looks at the door leading to his office, then the iron doors towards the holding cells housing a certain Onion Knight.

“All right,” Tsukauchi turned his back and walked towards the area with the holding cells. “Follow me.”

Izuku and Patches complied, one free from his restraints, and the other still bound. The three of them walked past other busy officers and into the holding cell area.

“Sometime yesterday, we apprehended a strange fellow,” Tsukauchi suddenly talks, grabbing the attention of Izuku and Patches. “He wore what seemed to be Onion-themed armor, and a giant sword which he hefted like a plastic sword.”

‘Wait… Onion-themed armor?’

“Detective, could you please tell me what his name is?” Izuku asked with unbidden hope.

“He said his name is Siegward,” Tsukauchi replies with his back still turned, unknowingly causing Izuku’s hope to be kicked, trampled upon, burned, buried, and reduced to an atom before being subjected to the Big Bang explosion.

“… Oh… Okay…” Izuku’s face fell, his lips forming a frown. “Does he say where he comes from?”

“Yes, he did say that he was a Knight of Catarina,” Tsukauchi rubbed his chin. “Whatever Catarina is.”

Izuku was a little bit glad that the hometown of Siegmeyer was still standing strong against the plague of Undeath in Lordran. Patches, however, knew the Onion Knight they were talking about.

‘… Wasn’t that the guy I trapped in the well?’ Patches recalled the time he kicked an Undead into a well after stripping him of his armor.

The three of them then proceeded along with nary a sound, the only audible sound being their footsteps echoing in the silent walls. Most of the villains here were already transferred to a different prison, so the only occupant was the said Onion Knight, who they had no idea what to do with.

After a few more seconds of walking, the three of them arrived in front of a cell that holds the said Onion Knight without his armor on. He was athletic and buff, a result of wearing that huge and fat armor like nothing. His face though, was what drew in Izuku’s attention.

He had a mustache above his ever-present jovial smile, and black hair covering his head. All in all, he looked like one of those kind uncles in the neighborhood.

His eyes opened and he saw Patches.

“You!” his face twists into a frown. “You were that thief that stole my armor!”

“Did I?” Patches, in an effort to direct the attention off of him, slunk away, only to be grabbed by Izuku.

“Really, Patches? Still not done with that?” Izuku deadpanned at the Undead Merchant.

“Hey! I may be sleazy, but I sure as hell ain’t a greedy pig!” snarled Patches while he stomped his foot on the ground, causing a visible crack on the floor. Tsukauchi looked on with surprise at the strength of the stomp.

“I am no greedy pig!” Siegward retorted with a huff. “I have a goal, and it hasn’t anything to do with greed!”

“Oh really, you bumbling Onion?” Patches grinned and recalled a memory from the time he kicked the man down the well.

“Alright, enough!” Tsukauchi yelled with force, causing the minor, but amusing, dispute to grind to a halt. “Mr. Midoriya, can you please explain to me what your relationship is with… Patches?”

“Sure, just uncuff him and let Sir Siegward out,” Izuku said with a hint of a smile forming on his face before it came into a complete frown. “We need them for the future.”

Tsukauchi noticed the quick shift in demeanor, so he complied and hope that upper management won’t bite his ass too hard once they realized he released two unknowns free.