“We walked towards the portal. The vehicles were loaded with all kinds of things, and we did not feel like riding on top of it. The portal didn’t glow like we expected it to, but it was obvious nonetheless. A huge, open plain in the middle of the forest told us exactly where we were supposed to go. I was with Ira. He was the first guy I have met out of everyone in this room. We went through the briefing together, before crossing the portal. That was when I realized something is wrong with him, even though he is not necessarily a bad guy.”

“Says the guy who is single while refusing females, but claims is not gay.”

“I’m just not a whore. Anyway, I walked with Ira and a few other people towards the portal when, all of a sudden, something enormous flies through the portal and crashes in front of us. It took us some time to realize it was a dragon because we never saw him coming. He was invisible until the moment he crossed into our world. As soon as he did, he came crashing down. We did not realize it back then, but it looks like dragons need magic to fly. After all, they are too heavy to fly on their own.”

“Of course they need magic!” Liri agreed, “Dragons are magical creatures, just like me! Your guys told me about it, how your world has no magic at all, but I’m still having a hard time believing it. I mean … what would such a world even look like? How would it maintain the balance? How would mortals even come into being?”

“Those questions are for someone smarter than we are. The point is the dragon crashed and couldn’t move. It did thrash quite a bit, but we could clearly see how every move he made drained more of his energy, slowing his movements even further. That is when this fucking idijt decided to do something stupid,” Jens said while pointing his thumb at Ira, “He decided to approach that thing, and he went straight for its head.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

“It was just … interesting. A dragon literally fell out of the sky! What would you do?”

“I’d run! While the elder dragons are perfectly reasonable, the younger ones are arrogant and merciless! That’s what happens when your scales are impenetrable and you know no mortal can hurt you!”

“I do not know, it just felt … he was having a hard time out there. The next meal was the last thing on his mind.”

“Still, it could’ve blasted you with its fire!”

“I figured he will realize I am not a threat to him and will understand I am only trying to help. Which he did!”

“Yes. That dragon started talking to Ira, although we have no idea what he said. His tongue was completely alien to us.”

“Luckily, I was smart enough to record the whole thing, unlike the rest of the group!” Ira didn’t bother hiding the pride in his voice, “They were too busy running away.”

“I didn’t run away!”

“Yes, you were hiding behind a tree. That was very heroic of you.”

“And that is how Ira dumped his responsibilities on me. You see, the dragon died after a while. There was nothing we could do for him. So, we ended up with a dead dragon that was completely intact. We showed his dead body to some timkiks, hoping they will help us understand dragons better. Well, not the two of us. We went our ways. Our diplomats handled that. However, the timkiks demanded to see the person who killed the dragon, so our diplomats summoned us. That is when that Francisco guy showed up.”

“That Ira’s friend?”

“Yes, that guy. He came up with an idea. Instead of telling timkiks the truth, he figured that it would be better to lie to them and tell them we have killed it since that would earn us a lot of points. Then Ira pointed at me and said I will make a perfect hero, dumping his responsibilities on me! Some were worried if that was a smart thing to do since we knew nothing of dragons. Some proposed that the dragons may even be worshiped here. Just imagine the chaos that would cause, us claiming that we’ve killed one of their deities! Crazy Francisco liked that idea even more! Luckily, after some back and forth with timkik diplomats, we learned that’s not the case, so they finally agreed to lie about it … giving me little choice.”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“That makes no sense! Ira! Why didn’t you try to get the title? This is the first time I’ve ever heard someone would give it away willingly! Usually, people will do anything it takes to be recognized as heroes!”

“Do I look like a hero to you?”

“You did stand right in front of it, right? That’s how its soul entered your body in the first place! It thought it could use you as a vessel to survive, but it had no idea your people have no souls! If your world truly has no magic, then it couldn’t have known. All of its senses were probably already dead. Besides, you’re constantly complaining how you get no attention from the females.”

“No, I’m not! I’m complaining that Jens is getting a lot of it and throwing it away! That is what irritates me!”

“If you’d be known as a hero, then you’d get as much attention as Jens!”

Ira slumped in his chair: “You do not understand. I do not look like a hero. Look at me. I’m short, thin, I look like a girl. No one would believe I have killed a dragon. Now, look at Jens. He is tall, muscular, golden-haired, blue-eyed, has a square jaw. He is straight out of a book. You cannot tell me I am more suited to be a hero than he is.”

“… true, but that doesn’t … “

“None of us is a hero. We did not kill that dragon. But he at least looks like one, so he deserves the title.”

“… I never took you for a modest person.”

“He is not. He dumped his responsibilities on me. While being a hero has many advantages, it also has as many responsibilities. And he wants none of it. He would have to change his bad habits, and that is too much to ask from someone as irresponsible as him.”

“And Jens is responsible, kind-hearted person. He makes a perfect hero. His complaining only proves that he is perfect for it.”

“And, you’re a scholar, Jens?” Liri asked.

“Yes.”

“Have you ever been in a battle?”

“No. I do not think I fought with my fists either. I never had to.”

“Soo … the famous human hero is a fraud who doesn’t even know how to fight?”

“Pretty much. Although, I never wanted any part in it.”

“Then why take the role?”

“It just happened. Before I knew it, everyone started calling me a hero. Besides, if not me they will find someone else. At least I have conscience not to exploit the title … unlike some.”

“Why not find some soldier instead? There are soldiers all over the place! Surely, there are a few brave soldiers in here who would fit the description!”

“We humans need no heroes in battles,” Ira said, “We use underhanded methods to fight our opponents. If we can kill our enemies with just a press of a button, we will do it. We do not care about honor and similar trivialities when fighting a war. So we need to look for heroes in our daily lives. People who will risk their lives not to kill enemies but to save others. Jens lacks wisdom, so he will gladly sacrifice himself to save others, making him a perfect hero. And timkiks agree. They really think he looks like a hero. He never fought, but he does think and talk like one.”

“Is that why you’re refusing Snirba? Do you think you’re not worthy? Are you worried she’s into you because she thinks you’re a hero?”

“Absolutely not! First of all, I’m not a hero to her, I’m a demon. I thought we told you that already.”

“Oh yes, sure, but demons have souls while you don’t. So you’re not demons, you’re just animals.”

“Still, they got the wrong idea. They gave her to me, thinking I’ll use her to satisfy my lust. So, to prove that we are not demons, I’m not going to do that. Unlike demons, we will not take advantage of her. We will give her opportunities instead.”

Liri shook her head left to right in disappointment: “You are so dumb. So intelligent, yet so dumb. So educated, yet so dumb.”

Those words made Ira laugh wholeheartedly.

“Think what you want, I am not taking advantage of her.”

“You’re so, so dumb. What will it take for you to realize she’s interested? Does she really have to sit on your dick for you to take a hint, as Ira said? Will that be enough for you to finally realize she doesn’t care if you’re a demon or not?”

“Jens thinks all females are pure saints,” Ira said.

“Look who’s talking! A guy who thinks all women are bad.”

“You two are like … how, how in the heavens did the two of you turn out like this? It’s as if you guys never had to deal with other people before. It’s as if you never had a single friend of the opposite sex. As if you were separated from the females your whole lives and have no idea what they’re like!”

That made Jens and Ira look at each other, a spark of mutual understanding finally shining in their eyes.