Tracy sat at her desk, staring into her monitor. She pressed a button on her keyboard. Her Kitsune character rolled forward, dodging a devastating attack from the boss. Then, with ruthless precision, she took aim with her sniper rifle. The cluttered map was not a problem for her. She pulled the trigger, and a bullet lept from her gun, threading through two windows in a collapsed building before hitting the boss in the head, shredding through the last sliver of health the boss had left. Tracy sat back in her chair as she moved her character up unceremoniously to the boss, watching as the giant alien roared in pain. She sighed as green mist hissed from the boss’s gargantuan suit before it fell over on the ground with a think, dead. She groaned, sinking deeper into her chair as she unloaded her remaining ammo into its corpse. A platinum medal appeared on her screen, followed by triumphant music. She had beaten one of the most challenging bosses in the game, something most players only dreamed of doing. Yet, it felt hollow. It didn’t feel like a victory. It felt like leaving school. Still, Tracy looked at the medal and instinctively pulled out her phone, snapping a photo. She could upload this. The Discord and the Subreddit would appreciate it. She smirked, as if she’d ever do that. There was one person she knew would appreciate this, the only one she ever needed approval from. She turned around, ready to tell Tristan. But… he wouldn’t be there. She shook the thought from her mind before it could latch on.

“Screw this!” She grunted as she turned off her computer. She saw her reflection in the monitor’s glass as the screen went dark. It wasn’t good. Her hair was a knotted mess, and her dirty clothes lay crinkled on her skin, hidden by her orange jacket. Her face was worse. The dark bags of sleep deprivation sat underneath her eyes, and her mouth was etched into a perpetual frown. A sight she was all too familiar with.

She looked away from her reflection. She couldn’t stand its ugly, depressed look anymore. However, as she looked away from the screen, an even more ugly sight filled her eyes.

Her room was a pigsty, with dirty clothes, books, and unfinished assignments scattered on the floor with empty soda cans and chip bags mixed into the mess. All while sheets swirled around on her bed. The sight was ugly and irritated her. As much as she wanted to clean it, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was like her body was numb, unable to move.

What time was it? She thought, hoping to distract herself from her room. Surely, beating that level would’ve taken some time for her to do, a few hours at least. She looked up at her clock.

3:30 pm

She slammed her head onto her desk, hoping the pain would relieve her from her numbness. It only gave her a headache. She had gotten home from school at 2:30. It had taken her an hour to clear it. She smirked weakly. She should become a speedrunner. She could do it with that time, and the thought of people raving at her times sounded nice. She felt a lump grow in her throat. It wouldn’t keep him from her mind, though.

Tracy looked down at all of the school assignments on the floor. She could be productive, that could take up some time. Do something to clean up this mess or to salvage her horrible grades. She smiled. She would’ve been appalled at this three months ago, but now it was just home. Her parents were still appalled she lived like this, though. Too bad anytime she thought about doing something productive, her mind went blank, even if that could help her to be a hero, just like Tristan.

She stood up from her desk and tiptoed around the clutter out of her room. She should get some fresh air. She’d spent way too much time in her room. Tracy opened the room and walked through her house. Her parents were out today. Too bad, Tracy thought. They generally jumped at every chance to get her out of her room. Tracy smiled. She bet they’d call her a liar if she told them she left her room today. She strode through the rest of the house before opening the sliding door to the back porch.

It was brisk but not too cold, and with the sun shining above, it took the rest of the chill away. She looked over at the few chairs that sat on the porch. She opted to just sit on the edge of the porch. Let her legs dangle off the edge for a change. It was the same view that she’d always seen. The trees blocking the sun created the area she’d always called the backyard. She saw the same play place she’d played in as a child, along with the trampoline where she had used her imagination to play hero. Good times…

Tracy sighed. She was going to go insane if she kept this up. She walked back into the house and her room, rolling her eyes as she saw all the clutter. She groaned as she waded through it, kicking aside the medley of junk on her floor before she flopped into her bed. She closed her eyes, hoping that it would all go away, that the world would dissolve, and that she wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. As she did, she felt something dense hit her back. She pulled it out. It was a poorly made fox plush, and when she saw it, she cried.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

She held the tears, but she thought back to the two chairs they both sat on. Just passing time until it he needed to go, just enjoying every second they could have together. The emotions crashed against her heart like a tidal wave. His over-confident smile, his reckless attitude. As much as Tracy hated to admit it, that attitude had saved her more than once in the arena that was a high school social life. Tracy smiled as she recalled a few years back when mean girls harassed her for her fox-eared jacket, done in by Tristan’s roasts. She never felt more grateful than when she went to school the next day when they were gone. He also always was the kind of brother who knew her inside out. She examined the fox plush in her hands.

It was the same plush he’d given her right before leaving on his trip. She examined the different stitches on its deformed face and around its body. She could see all of the flaws and the mistakes, but to her, she could feel all of the love and the passion that had been put into it, every painstaking moment and every pinprick in those mistakes. But, no matter how much she liked it, she couldn’t shake the several painful memories attached to it.

“You promised,” The words came into her mind. She put down the plush and crumpled up her sheets. It was like those words had broken a dam open, letting every memory and unpleasant thought out, flooding her heart and her soul.

It happened so quickly. After he left, Tracy decided to enjoy school, being a stellar student, and all that. Then things changed. She had gotten home from school, ignorant of the news, even happy as she had aced a tough test. It was two days from when he was supposed to come home, which only added to her misguided excitement. Yet when she entered the house that day, the atmosphere was different. She could tell that her father was home, and he never came home early. She didn’t think of it; Maybe it was a surprise for her mother, but nothing else. They were both listening in on the phone together. When she tried to get their attention, they only shushed her. That should’ve been her first indication that something was wrong. But it didn’t hit her until the phone call ended and she saw her parents’ tear-streaked faces.

It didn’t make any sense to her. Tristan had kept every promise that he’d made before. He was her light, and he’d always be there when everything seemed down. All because he made those promises to her. So why? Her parents gave her the shake-down. Tristan was reported missing after falling from a hundred-meter waterfall with no cause as to why.

It didn’t add up. Tristan was smart. He would’ve known if there was a risk of falling off a cliff. So why did he fall? He wasn’t one to give in to peer pressure, and he was popular. It didn’t make sense for someone to throw him off. It could’ve been that he was caught up in an accident: falling rocks or something like that. Even though the answer made sense, it didn’t feel right. There must’ve been some sort of deeper reason why he’d fallen. But try as she did, no answer came to her mind. Search parties were sent out, and Tracy yearned… she prayed more than anything that something, anything, would come up. Nothing did. The searches stopped a month and a half later, and she was powerless to help.

Now, here she was, a loser who couldn’t even keep her room clean.—moping about because of the past. She closed her eyes. There was nothing that she wanted more than anything to see him again. But he was dead. It was the only thing that made sense.

“You promised.” The words rang through her head. She looked up at the ceiling, the squiggles in the paint looking inviting, something to take her mind off it all. But as much as she tried to, she couldn’t. The lines of the ceiling blurred together as tears filled her eyes. It wasn’t enough to release her from her frustration. She grabbed her pillow and screamed into it long and loud.

But no matter how much she yelled, She couldn’t change the past or the present. Her brother was dead. That was the only thing she knew, and she was powerless to change that. Not even some magical being could change that fact. She grabbed the fox plush and hugged it. She wanted to disappear and live in a world of heroes, away from this pain that she felt, Away from this stupid one. She looked over at her computer. Video games were the answer, as stupid as it sounded.

Tracy got up from her bed and sank into her office chair, turning the computer on. Speedrunning could be fun. She should try it. As the screen flicked on, she saw her kitsune character smiling vibrantly as she saluted. Without thinking about it, Tracy saluted back. At least in a video game, she could be this character: A hero, powerful.

She opened up her game menu. She smiled as she saw the other characters standing in unique and cool poses together. At the very least, she could belong here, even if she couldn’t stand real life. As she scrolled through the screen, she saw something was off. She noticed in the corner where her profile was she saw a small red number one over her messages. The game must’ve gotten an update, not that she’d seen any news about it. It must’ve been a patch. She clicked on the message box.

Sent: 15 minutes ago

From: User LjkHIUYGN7134

To: Kitsune_Fighter99

Title: _____________

Tracy knitted her eyebrows. She never got mail from anyone, being a solo player and all that. Still, from what Tracy saw of the user name, this player must’ve been new. Tracy shrugged. The player probably admired her skills from a match she played against them and was asking for some tips. She smiled, honored if that was the case. But as she opened the message, only four words were in it, and they made her heart drop.

Subject: Do you miss him?