As I left the arena, my stomach informed me of my neglect. While I could have gone to the guild hall for some food, I would be there later. Plus, today would be the day to try some new place. Taking a few steps to the side and out of the flow of people, I spoke to a kid manning a stall with various pieces of leather on display. “Hey, do you have any suggestions for food?”
He lifted his eyes out of the book in front of him and reluctantly asked. “Sit down or grab and go?”
“Sit down.”
“Follow this road back to the water fountain. Then look for a sign with a boar wearing an apron.” His head dropped back down as he returned to his book. Shaking my head at his attitude, I resume walking.
It doesn’t take me long to return to the open plaza-like area. Not only that, but the sign catches my eye within seconds of looking around. Given the bright colors, it was either well-maintained or stored and only used for special events.
There was a line that went from the door to the door of the next building. Given the amount of people in the city, this wasn’t surprising. If this was anything like the real world, days like this would be the best days, profit-wise, for most of the stores and restaurants in the city. Standing there, waiting for my turn, I looked over my status.
Name:
Kyren Vulpier
Race:
Human
Level:
15
Class:
Elementalist
XP:
22301/22.5k
HP:
445/445
HP Regen:
16.5% (73.4) per hour*
MP:
370/370
MP Regen:
23% (85.1) per hour*
Current Ailments:
Status Imbalance*
Current Buffs:
Unsurprisingly, nothing had changed since getting my class. Now I just needed to figure out what the class did. I mean, I knew what the class description said, but it didn’t mention any limitations or loopholes I might be able to use to my advantage. But that would have to wait until I could ask either my teachers or someone in Michael’s party.
Flipping to another tab, I looked at my sword. Oddly enough, it had leveled just as much as I had. It was almost as if, as soon as I reached its level, it kept up.
Weapon Name:
Shizukana Arashi
Type:
Single-Edged Blade
Specific Type:
Chisa Katana
Rank:
Uncommon
Range:
Melee
Material:
Magical Iron
Current Damage:
10 – 100 HP*
Level:
15
XP:
22301/22.5k
Skills:
Mana Slice (2), Mana Blade (2), Crescent Moon Strike (1), Cascading Strike (1)
Durability:
250/250
Current Condition:
Sheath – Excellent
Handle – Excellent
Blade – Excellent
Requirements:
A blade-related skill LVL 2 or greater
Or
User named Kyren
Description:
This weapon excels at short-range combat. This blade’s previous wielder poured their heart and soul into practicing with this weapon. As this blade took the lives of their enemies, it absorbed the knowledge. Nudging its wielder in times of need. Kyren, take care of this weapon and it will take care of you. Also, you will find that this weapon is best used with both hands, though you can use one if necessary.
Seeing the skill section reminded me of what had happened in the fight against Austin. As soon as I read over the first skill, I groaned as the need to beat my head against the wall grew. The damned skills had a cooldown. I recalled reading this but, for some reason, I had let the information slip my mind in the moment. Looking over the rest of the information, I found a new skill had been added.
Skill:
Level:
Mana Cost:
Activation Time:
Time Limit:
Cooldown:
Point Cost:
Mana Slice
2
15 per cast
1 Swing
NA
5 Seconds
6
Mana Blade
2
1 per second
10 Seconds
1 Minute
1 Minute
6
Double Strike
0
20 per cast
5 Seconds
NA
5 Minutes
1
Crescent Moon Strike
1
10 per cast
5 Seconds
NA
2 Minutes
2
Vorpal Strike
0
20 per cast
10 Seconds
NA
5 Minutes
2
Cascading Strike
1
50 per cast
1 Second
10 Seconds
20 Minutes
10
Keen Edge
0
1 per 5 seconds
1 Second
1 Minute
2.5 Minutes
2
Meld
0
250 per cast
10 Seconds
25 Seconds
1 Day
5
Multiply
0
125 per cast
5 Seconds
30 Seconds
12 Hours
10
That was a long cooldown time for a skill and the point cost was stupid but something told me it would be worth it. As soon as I purchased the skill, I found most of the page greyed out. Likely due to the lack of points to spend.
Flipping to the level-up section, I found that a new material upgrade had been added. Magical Iron to Magical Steel. It wasn’t hard to justify that purchase. The question that bugged me until I got to the front of the line was where to put the rest of the points. While I could go with more damage, I had a feeling that I needed some way to store mana for use in various skills.
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Before I could come to a decision, one of the servers gestured me forward. “There should be a table open along the wall.” She said as she passed me a small piece of paper and gestured me in. The place was packed and as loud as one might expect. It took me a few moments of looking around before I found the open seat she had mentioned.
As I sat down, the older gentleman waved from his seat to my right. His crisp British accent was different enough to catch my attention. “Try the Brisket. While it isn’t as good as some I had in my jaunts to southern Texas, it is damn good.”
I only had time to nod my head before someone on the other side jostled my arm. Turning to look at who it was and why they had done so, I found a kid drawing something on a piece of parchment with a colored stick of some kind. While I knew that crayons were likely not a thing in this world, it looked oddly similar to one.
“Sowwy,” the kid's eyes looked on the verge of tears as he looked up at me. It looked like he was expecting to be hit or something. Seeing the look had me wanting to kick someone's ass for making that the kid's first reaction.
His mother, I assumed, heard him and quickly tried to grab him. “Honey, you shouldn’t bother other people.” While he moved closer to her, he kept working on the art piece in front of him. “I am so sorry for whatever he did.”
I waved off her apologies. “It's fine.” I wanted to ask her why he was so scared but something about her posture made me think that it was not something she wanted to talk about, especially in public. As I had never dealt with a kid that young, nor their parent, I was lost.
The old man saved me from just staring. “Don’t worry about them. The last person that was sitting in your spot was a bit harsher than he should have been.” He spoke just loud enough for me to hear him over the noise.
“What happened to him?” I whispered back.
“He was encouraged to go find food elsewhere.” His smile was predatory as his hand tapped a cane leaning against the chair. “As long as you don’t do anything of the sort, you will find that this spot is fairly welcoming.” His threat was clear, even to me.
“Thank you, and I think I will try the brisket.”
“You will love it.”
Less than a minute after ordering my meal, the waitress brought a large plate over with four thick slices of meat coupled with vegetables and a side of a dark sauce. As soon as I took my first bite, I was in love. It had hints of bacon, a woody smoky flavor, and seemed to melt the instant it hit my tongue. I savored the meal as much as I could, but it was still gone all too soon.
“Told you.” The old man laughed.
I nodded as I moved to eat the last of the meal. Just as I went to stab a carrot, someone bumped into the back of my chair, hard. “Sorry about that.” A slightly slurring male voice said from practically behind my ear. The sound and feel of it was revolting.
“Hey, there is an open table over here.” The voice sounded close. Likely one of the person's buddies.
“Nah, I think I found the perfect seat right here.” He says as he takes a deep breath instantly changing him from weird drunk to creep.
My voice is firm as I turn and move to shove him away. “I am already sitting here.”
“Didn’t your parents ever teach you anything about sharing? I am fairly sure there is enough room for you on my lap.” Oh no he did not just try to pick me up. As my emotions flared, so did my mana.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, for the creep, the kid sitting next to me was all that was preventing me from blowing up and attacking him. With a tone cold as ice, I spoke, “I am sorry but you are not my type. So fuck off.”
“I am everyone’s type.” He spoke with such confidence as he leaned in closer. Moving as if to kiss me. Even if the guy's breath didn’t smell like whatever spirits he had been imbibing, I would not have allowed him to do so. Not now, not ever.
As I mentally worked on pulling out my Chisa Katana, the old man spoke up. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I didn’t know if he was speaking to me or the creep. “Pretty sure he will kill you if you do.” We both turned to look at him. While he was facing the window, I could see his eyes in the window. They were looking at us as his hand lightly swirled an amber drink around in his glass.
“Stay out of this old man.” The arrogant prick spat.
While I had wondered why he had not stepped in to help me, his muttered words told me that he knew I wouldn’t need it. “Your funeral.”
Before me or anyone else could do, or say anything else, a waiter walked up. His voice was clear and promised pain to anyone that didn’t listen. “Sir, we ask that every one of our patrons find their own chair, so as to avoid unwanted accidents. If you cannot do so, I will have to ask you to leave and come back at another time.”
“Fine.” He ground out as he backed up just enough to turn and walk away without running afoul of the waiter.
“Thank you,” I said as I closed my inventory screen. “Both of you.”
“I just didn’t want you to get blood on my jacket or for you to scar the little one.”
“And here I was not wanting you to blast him apart with your mana.” The waiter said with a laugh, “Blood tends to fly all over the place when it happens.”
I laughed at the thought. “I don’t have the amount of power required for such a thing.”
The waiter lifted his eyebrows at that. “It's not about power. Not when your opponent is a drunk idiot that forgets that magic exists in this world.”
The comment made me realize that this guy was a player and not an NPC. “What is a player doing working at a restaurant?”
“Making some money on the side. Quite a bit of money.” His smile was full of greed coupled with happiness. “Anyway, I have to get back to work.” With that, he moved to another table that had just sat down.
“And I need to get going as well.” The old man spoke.
As he downed the last of his drink, I asked out of curiosity, “Where are you off to?”
“Off to do some hunting.”
“This late? During a festival?” I asked as the light outside was starting to dim.
Standing and pushing his stool in, he answered. “Best time to get some of the bigger beasts. Doesn’t hurt that most of the rest of the hunters will be busy drinking or playing around.” A top hat appeared out of nowhere. Just after he put it on, he tipped it. “I hope you have a good night.” Then he vanished into a group that just happened to be walking by.
Before I had a chance to even take a breath, the creep reappeared. “I was wondering when that old fart would leave. Now we can get to know each other better.” While his eyes leared at my body, his hand reached for mine. Just before he could touch me, I jerked it out of reach. His eyes flashed with anger. “Do you think you are too good for me?”
I had no response to that. I mean, what would I have said? That he was an idiot thinking I was a woman? It wouldn’t have helped, plus, it wasn’t as if I could blame them. Not while I was wearing this dress. But that also didn’t mean I wanted to deal with creeps like this guy. Wait, was this how some women felt whenever a guy tried to talk to them at a bar? God, I hoped I had not been one of those guys. Then again, when was the last time I had been to a bar?
His hand brushing through my hair brought my attention back to this moment. “Answer me when I ask you a question!” I managed to swat his hand out of the way just before he could grab my neck.
Before I could say a word, Linda’s voice cut in. “Who are you and what are you doing to my property.” While I wanted to question her about her choice of words, the way she spoke sent shivers of fear racing down my spine. It was quiet but not in a way I would associate with someone trying to calm a situation down. It was the kind of quiet one reserved for moments before ending someone.
Either the creep was an idiot or didn’t care because he laughed in her face. “Oh, are you her mommy? Go away before you get hurt.”
Emotions flickered across Linda’s face before finally settling into another neutral expression. “Let’s go Kyren.” While, in a way, she sounded like she was ordering me to follow her, I practically jumped off my stool to do so.
“Who are you to tell her where to go? She is with me right now and no one, including you, will tell me otherwise.” My emotions cracked at his choice of words. My mana once again poured into my surroundings. Tendrils of it writhed as if reaching for him. Internally, I struggled with letting them attack him or holding them back.
While I could feel Linda’s eyes on me and hear her words, I worked to pull my mana back into myself. “I don’t think Kyren agrees with you. But how about this; we fight in a sanctioned duel. Winner gets to do whatever they want to Kyren for the rest of the day.”
Even as I finished pulling my mana back in, it pushed to come back out as I worked through what she had just proposed. He didn’t hesitate. “Agree!”
Almost as if she had been sitting on the sidelines waiting for this to happen, Ginny popped up between the three of us. “An official challenge has been declared between Trenton Vargus and Kyren Vulpier. Do both parties agree to this?” The guy looked smug as he nodded to the dwarf. She looked at me. For a moment, I didn’t know whether or not to agree but the thought of having a chance to beat this guy down without issue was too good to pass up.
“Wait, I thought she was going…” He tried to say as soon as I nodded.
Ginny ignored him as she spoke up loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Given how quiet the restaurant had become, that wasn’t hard. “The battle will take place in fifteen minutes at the arena.” Turning to the creep, she continued. “I will personally escort you so that you won't ‘get lost’ between here and there.”
To the majority of the building's amusement, the woman practically dragged the drunk behind her as she left. As soon as they were both out of sight, people all over scrambled to pay for their food. I could swear I even heard a few beg the staff for a to-go cup of whatever they were drinking.
“Why is everyone so excited?” I asked Linda as I started for the door. “I mean, it isn’t like there wasn’t a full day of fighting in the arena already or anything.”
“I sometimes forget how sheltered you are,” she sighed.
Taken aback by her comment, I voiced my disagreement. “I am not sheltered.” Ok, so I sounded like a child that wasn’t getting its way. Sue me.
Her chuckle was soft. “You spend most of your days in training. I doubt you have even explored most of the city, let alone gotten an up-close show of what the rest of the population sees and experiences.” While I didn’t like it, she had me there. “If you had, you would know just how bad some of the guys can be. Now, why Trenton Vargus isn’t the worst, he is one of the strongest.”
“That guy?” I was skeptical.
“There is more than just one way to be strong.” Then, under her breath, she grumbled. “Some stupid people like him just get lucky.” Without pause, she continued at a normal volume. Acting as if she hadn’t said anything else. “His connections make it hard for any city officials to do anything in an attempt to curb his tendencies.”
“And? Please stop beating around the bush. What does that have to do with me?”
“His backers will not do anything if he is beaten in a fair match. Especially if he was the one to initiate the challenge.” She said before sighing. “Though you are not the first one he has challenged, I feel you are the one that has the most chance of kicking his ass, and, judging by the amount of people heading in the direction of the arena, I am not the only one.”
Looking around, I found that she was right. While the crowds had been a bit tumultuous earlier, they now flowed generally in one direction. Without warning, a prompt appeared in front of my face nearly causing me to jump. Hell, I was surprised the shock didn’t cause me to lose any of my health.
Quest:
Beat the Creep
Quest Type:
Personal - Unranked
Description:
An official challenge has been called between Trenton Vargus and Kyren Vulpier. Defeat Trenton or suffer the repercussions.
Requirements:
Defeat Trenton in an arena fight.
Reward:
Freedom. Notoriety across the city and far into the kingdom. 500 XP
Failure:
Temporary (1 day +) restrictions on activities and respawn locations.
Of course, I would get a quest for this. And judging by the lack of the ability to accept or decline, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. “Be honest with me, just how outmatched am I?” I asked as I read over what would happen if I failed to win.
“What level are you again?”
“Fifteen.”
“Oh, you leveled up some more, good.” Her head tilted up as if in thought, “Likely eleven or twelve levels.” What the fuck. I was dead. She shrugged. “But he doesn’t have the stats for someone of that level. It is highly likely he had help leveling and never really cared to work on building any sort of foundation.” That fact made me a bit happier as it meant that I had a chance, though it was probably quite slim if he hadn't lost one of these matches yet.
While I wanted to ask her for advice, we had arrived at the arena. Ginny was already at the tunnel entrance waiting on us. She tossed something at me. “Wear this for your fight.” It was the same object as the one I had worn for the competition earlier that day, only the stone on this one wasn’t powder that was still grinding against my skin.
“What are the rules?” I asked as I slipped the object around my head.
Trenton threw it back at Ginny. “What is the point of fighting if neither side can truly get hurt.” His malicious grin told me all I needed to know. Hell, it took everything I had from attacking him here and now because I was pretty sure this guy had hurt a few girls to get his way.
“Fine,” Ginny’s voice lacked any inflection. “Just don’t cry when you get sent back to respawn.” With that, she turned and vanished into the tunnel.
He must have realized something as he cried out, “Wait, why is she still wearing the damned stone?” He didn’t get a response. Not that I cared. I simply made my way down the tunnel, through the preparation room, and onto the sandy surface of the arena. Ginny was nowhere to be found. “Are you ready to lose?” Trenton’s vile voice had my head turning slightly to catch him in the corner of my vision.
“Less talking, more fighting.” I spat back as I stepped into the ring made of light on the far side of the arena.
Ginny chose that moment to speak through the arena’s system. “Kyren Vulpier is the only one that has accepted the sacrificial stone. As such, they will fight until either the stone is broken or Trenton is killed. Participants, unsheathe your blades. Ready your bows. Ready your spells.”
As I pulled out my Chisa Katana, he did the same. Unlike my slim blade, his was nearly as tall as him and looked wider than my waist. His voice cut across the short distance. “Don’t worry, I will go easy on you. After all, we still have some wrestling to do later.” Even if I was female and liked the guy, I would kick his ass for saying something like that.
Too bad I didn’t get a chance to toss back the retort I had on the tip of my tongue. “Participants, FIGHT!” Everything around me went quiet. It was almost like the world outside the arena had vanished as my focus narrowed to the one person I wanted to kill. My eyes tracked every movement he made as I tried to anticipate where he would go and how. Waiting for my chance while I spooled my mana out around me.
Suddenly, Trevor vanished. A line of dust lifted off the ground connecting my spot to where he had been standing. It was the only indication that he had moved fast rather than teleport. So much for his stats being lower than it should have been.
My only warning about where his strike was going to hit came from the mana around me. He wasn’t holding back based on just how much of the stuff he was packing into his strike. Leaping out of the way, I barely avoided getting my left arm cut off at the shoulder. His sword barely parted the sand as he brought its momentum under control.
“I was trying to make this easy on you.” He growled. “You should have just gone down then this would have been over.”
I want to blame what I said next on the fact that I was distracted by watching him for any sudden attacks. “What if I like it hard?”
His smirk had me thinking back on what I said. I almost wanted to kill myself as soon as I realized how I sounded. “I can give it to you hard.” Yeah, I saw that coming.
Figuring I would keep going, I poked at his masculinity. “Are you sure? I don’t know if you will be able to after I am done with you.” I purposely spoke slowly as I put spell after spell together around him. My mind strained as I held a fair number of the spells far enough away that he wouldn’t notice. A headache made itself known as I poured a decent amount of my mana pool into the single strike.
“Is that a promise?” I nearly lost control of my spells as he fired back. Lucky for me, I just needed a second more to finish and launch the spells at him. Light from seven blue balls of condensed flame appeared in a ring around him. He wasn’t even allowed a moment to react before, as one, they slammed into him.
The blue flames quickly dimmed and changed to a deep yellow, bright orange as they engulfed his body. As the fire roared, bits of it popped and flew off. Where it landed, the sand turned red and clumped together.
Without warning, his sword cut upward. The flames surrounding him parted as if it were a cloak. They continued to peel and fall to the ground as the flames petered out. “Not bad, though not something that would really affect anyone on my level. My turn?” He lowered his sword until it was parallel to the ground. His legs spread out as he prepared to attack.
Unwilling to let him launch an attack unchallenged, I charged. My sword skimmed the ground as I rushed forward. The moment I got close, I sliced up at his arm. Swinging with every bit of strength I could.
With a simple pivot, he hit me with the flat of his blade. The simple attack didn’t just cause me to miss my target, it sent me flying across the field. My back smashing into the wall as my sword was knocked out of my hand. I scrambled for the weapon. Scampering across the sand on my hands and feet as fast as I could to get to the weapon.
Either I had lost control of my Mana Sense or he wasn’t using any mana because the next thing I knew, I was flying across the arena. My side felt like it was on fire from where he had kicked me.
I must not have been kicked to the wall directly across the arena as I slid along the wall for a fair distance. As my momentum bled off, so did my health. The bar in the corner of my vision dropping at an alarming rate before finally coming to a stop.
I didn’t know whether or not to consider myself lucky that the stone sitting against my chest hadn't broken yet. At this point, I was fairly sure I was going to lose this fight. Not that I wouldn’t go without a fight, but I was outmatched. My only hope at this point was likely a Hail Mary. I could always use my SoulStone, but something told me to save it.
Before I could make any decision or plan, a hand grabbed onto the back of my dress. I kicked out. Trying to hit something, anything. I must have hit something as he grunted before throwing me across the arena for a third time.
Unlike the other times, my head led my flight. The impact with the wall caused my nose to crunch and blood to flow freely down my face. A hand on the wall was the only thing that prevented me from crashing back to the sand as my head swam at the effort to stand.
It was in this compromised position that he got his hands on me yet again. His body pinning mine against the wall as an arm wrapped around me. His hand rested on my chest while the giant sword parted my legs. “Surrender.” He demanded. The tickling of my ear with his breath had me flinching.
Not able to move, my mouth slowly filled with the blood streaming out of my mouth. Frantically, my mind tried to come up with some way, any way, to get out of his hold. I spat it to the side. “Or what?!”
His hand squeezed. Likely in an attempt to feel up a woman’s breasts. Jokes on him. I didn’t have any, for which I was grateful. “Or I will stop playing with you.”
I must have lost quite a bit of blood because I actually laughed at that. A spray of blood pelted the wall in front of me. “Playing with me? Please. This is probably the worst that you could do with your pitiful strength.”
“Do you really think that this is the worst I can do?” His mouth was practically in my ear as he spoke. “In fact, I think I will undress you in front of everyone here. Let them get an eyeful before I kill you. Then, when you respawn, I will kill you again and again until you submit to me. And don’t think about escaping into the real world. I will find you and make you regret ever even thinking of escaping.”
Between one heart beat another another, the world froze. While I had been a bit scared of what could happen in game, I had thought that it would be limited to just in here. Never had I thought that someone would ever threaten me for real. My rage wasn’t hot. I didn’t explode and attack in a blind rage.
Instead, I felt as if I had gone numb and unfeeling as everything became crystal clear. While I could feel my mana flood out of me, I didn’t try and stop it. It stopped itself just as the bar started to blink in warning. All but a sliver of it was gone.
My head was angled so that I could see the arm across my chest as thin blue lines lashed at him. While I didn’t know how it was possible, my mana was fully visible and doing direct damage. Not that I was going to question what was going on.
Everywhere the lines touched, his skin parted. Those cuts were not all that deep or vital given how fast his body regenerated the damage. If anything, they looked like he was being riddled with paper cut after paper cut.
I felt his sword start to lift as he growled. It pushed against one of my legs as it twisted. Fearing what he would do, I wished for a way out. For anything to help. For someone to kill this guy since I was too weak.
While no one came to my rescue, my mana responded. The streams vanished from my sight as something appeared behind me. A foreign feeling extended from the end of my spine and out for what felt like a few feet.
Whatever it was, it didn’t stay still. It moved upward from where it rested, through something that shattered like glass and into something fleshy. Given the position, and the way he squeaked, the strike hit something vital.
The mana wrapped around whatever it was and squeezed. Out of instinct or reflex, his body tried to bend in half only to be stopped by me and the wall. He tried to back up, to get away. The problem was, he forgot that his arm was still wrapped around my chest. Effectively keeping me well within striking distance.
Before he could figure a way out of the situation and regain the upper hand, I yanked on his hand. Grabbing his sword as I slipped under his arm. As I moved forward, I pulled hard on the piece of heavy metal, building up momentum as I lifted and swung the thing around. His hands, now free had been focused on a tail-like object wrapped around his dick. The distraction and a lack of defense allowed the sword to hit him without issue.
While I didn’t hit his neck like I had been trying for, I did manage to hit his chest. The tip sliced across until a bone managed to stop it. Likely his sternum given the position. While he froze, I didn’t miss a beat. I changed grips and shoved the blade in with everything I could. Throwing my weight into the handle as I pushed.
While I could feel it struggling a bit to cut through the bone, the sword did move. Slowly, inexorably, it moved forward. Finally, it broke through the bones and sank deep into his chest. His body jerked back, pulling itself off the sword.
A veritable waterfall of blood fountained out of the wound. It was the darkest red color I had ever seen. His voice was quiet, barely getting out “Fucking bitch,” before falling forward.
Leaning down, I simply said, “I am a dude you fucking idiot.” A moment later, he vanished into a cloud of opalescent dust that fluttered in the air before vanishing.
“And Kyren Vulpier is the winner,” Ginny called but I barely heard it. As soon as he had vanished, everything started to hurt. My head felt like someone was using it as an anvil while the rest of my body felt like it was being used as a training dummy to test said tools on. Thankfully, the pain didn’t last long. My vision tunneled down before darkness finally swallowed me.
Ginny:
I watched as Linda caught Kyren as he collapsed. His mana-formed ears and tail vanished without a trace. No wonder Barti Vendlewood had his eyes on this kid. While he had been trained by those three, he was going to lose. That was until he lost control over his mana. Mana that showed me a glimpse of his future. A future that might be worth keeping an eye on.
Not that we would be the only ones doing so. While some might have been fooled, I noticed at least three major traveler guild representatives in the crowds and a dozen officials from various governments and races. While I doubt he would stay here no matter what he could be offered, I just hoped he didn’t take whatever the demons offered him to join their side.
Mindi:
Where the hell is that stupid kid? He was supposed to be here an hour ago.