Lucid sat across from me in the training courtyard, both of us drenched in sweat and breathing hard.

Ever since the Baron’s household-wide declaration that I was not to be so much as bruised, none of the Knights had wanted to spar with me. Even the mercenaries were shying away, which had been proving frustrating. Without them, I couldn’t train my muscle memory properly. Sure, my eleven year old body hadn’t been providing much of a challenge for them, but it wasn’t about them.

Nearly three months of self-training had passed before I’d less so asked and more so told the Baron that I would be getting bruised in sword spars. He had laughed and agreed. I still couldn’t tell if his nonchalance was good or bad, but at least it opened the door to my sparring again. Despite the allowance of physical activity, my social activity was still stunted and I had yet to follow up with Lady Ballenci, though a letter of vague acceptance had been slipped under my door the night following our discussion.

Unfortunately, the lack of proper physical training had greatly impeded my ability to form heart rings. Without heightened physical training to push me to my limits, my body still hadn't developed enough to hold that amount of energy. What little self-training I’d been doing like running until I dropped and, whenever I managed to sneak into the Knight’s quarters, donning some armor and training weight resistance to increase muscle mass, was providing me with only slight improvements.

It was all very limited.

The past few weeks since the Baron’s allowances had been much better for my growth thanks to the sparring, but it was still slower than I’d have preferred. Lilliana’s body was weak to the point even the single heart ring was pushing her heart’s current limits. I estimated at least another six months before a core could be formed, and that was if I was able to remain focused the entire time.

“You’ve gotten a lot better, young lady,” Lucid said, and took a large swig from his waterskin. “I can finally see some muscles on those bones."

I laughed and gave him a playful shove. “Just wait. I’ll have great large muscles and stand a full two meters someday soon.”

Lucid snorted. “Yeah, sure. And I’m half giant.”

“Don’t believe me, do you, Sir Squire?”

“That’s huge! You’d need at least one family member that tall to even think that is a possibility! The only person in this household even close to two meters is the knight captain.” Lucid said Captain with a reverent tone as usual and his eyes seemed to almost glaze over in a moment of admiration.

“I don’t understand your obsession with that man,” I said, leaning back against a railing separating the sparring sections from the new squires learning horseback riding. “He’s strong for a barony but I’m sure there are much stronger out in the world.”

Lucid shrugged, taking another sip of water. “Maybe, but he’s the strongest person I’ve ever met. And did you know he’s not even a noble? He’s a common born, just like me, who got into a knighthood through hard work! Even the Baron respects him.”

“Isn’t he from a duchy?” I asked.

“Yeah, the Goldenhearts,” Lucid responded with a nod. “His service to the Baron was part of the Baroness’s dowry when the families were married.”

He passed me the waterskin and I took it without looking. “Why would the daughter of a duchy marry into a barony?”

The squire gave me another shrug. “How should I know? I’m barely above a servant’s station.” I didn’t respond and instead let a splash of cool water work its way down my parched throat.

“Lucid,” I began tentatively but he cut me off.

“For the hundredth time, Lady Lilliana,” Lucid said in an exasperated sigh, using a serious tone only contrasted by his playful use of my given name. He’d explained to me following Morgana’s tea party that using Lady and her given name, rather than the more respectful surname, was only done by someone close to you, though ‘close to’ could be rather subjective. For most situations, I was the young lady Silverwater, Morgana was Lady Silverwater, and Mathilda was Baroness Silverwater, or in some situations specific to this world I didn’t understand yet, she could be called Lady Goldenheart. “No, I can’t explain heart energy to you. And I can’t explain magic to you.”

I grumbled. “Can’t or won’t?”

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“Both. You know the Baron has given very specific orders about that. And yes,” he said as I opened my mouth, “he would know. Somehow. I worked hard for this position and I’m not risking it to satisfy your curiosity.”

“It’s not curiosity. If I’m to survive against Earl Paul, I must know how to protect myself.”

“Earl Paul is a noble, he won't treat you badly. He can’t! It’s part of a nobleman’s dignity.”

I just shook my head but the boy’s stubborn naivety was unrelenting. “At least tell me why the Baron doesn’t care if I train swordplay.”

“The Earl Mar Paul is a master swordsman with an affinity toward physical energy.” Lucid gave me a tight smile that I knew to be his attempt at avoiding sympathy. I’d punched him last time he’d shown me pity. “No matter how much you train, he would win. Perhaps he enjoys the challenge of a wife with some skill.”

“What is physical energy?”

“Really, my lady?”

“How this Barony managed to acquire a Squire of your loyalty simply confounds me,” I muttered and drank more of the water. I could see Shael stomping around closer to us screaming at the other soldiers and knew our break was almost at its end.

“I’m not sure that’s a true test of my loyalty,” he said with a smirk. “Perhaps one day I’ll truly be put to the test and show the Baron I would make the greatest knight he’s ever seen.” Lucid used his finger to draw some stick figures in the dirt. “My dad was a knight, you know? He served under the old Baron, Baron Silverwater’s father. Died in a rare border skirmish with the Kingdom of Cael when I was really young.”

“Then he died with great honor while protecting those he loved,” I said, giving the young boy a slap on his shoulder and smiling. He returned my smile, if morosely before shaking his head as if to clear the thoughts.

“Yeah, I suppose he did.”

“Hey!” Shael shouted as she approached us. “Who said either of you could rest? Does this look like an inn? By the Gods, the both of you better get your asses off the ground or I’ll have you running until you're dead!”

Despite my experience as a queen and my overall age being at least a decade or two more than Shael’s, some part of me had adjusted to being Lilliana. Lucid and I both leaped to our feet without missing a beat, though Lucid nearly lost hold of his sparring sword.

“Lucid, did you almost drop your sword?” She hissed. He didn’t get to answer. “Run. Now!” He flashed me an apologetic expression as we set to take off around the training field, but Shael stopped me. “Not you Lillia- er, Lady Lilliana. You stay.”

I halted in my tracks and watched for a second as Lucid took off into the distance at a sprint. When he’d nearly reached the end of our current side of the arena and followed the border to the right, I turned to the Knight.

“Yes, Dame Shael?”

“I’m not supposed to be telling you this, so listen closely. I’m only going to say this once.” Shael hesitated before continuing until her jaw clenched in resolution, seeming to have come to some decision. “At the beginning of next spring, the Knighthood will be heading out to a forest on our Eastern borders to take care of a projected monster overload. Based on your progress, you should be up to it by then.”

“Next spring,” I muttered, tapping a finger against my chin. It was currently the eighth month of this world's twelve-month cycle, so the Knight outing would occur in about half a year.

Shael nodded. “You’ll be almost thirteen by then and that’s about when most squires will be beginning real training as well, so I believe it to be quite fitting.”

I raised my head in confusion. “Thirteen?”

“Did no one tell you? Your birthdate was the sixth month. You turned twelve a few weeks after the incident with Lady Silverwater’s tea party.”

I opened my mouth to say something sarcastic but shut it promptly. Sarcasm had its place. This wasn't it. Though I’d lost track of time some time ago, if what Shael relayed to me was accurate, then I’d been in this new world for a little under half a year. The fact I was just beginning to form the foundations for my second heart ring caused my river of rage to stir in impatience.

“No. No one told me.”

“I see. Regardless, I believe this would be a good opportunity for you. Unfortunately, I do not have the authority to admit you into the expedition. You’ll have to ask the Captain directly. If he asks who told you, tell him you overheard some knights talking about it. He won’t believe you but he won’t press.” Shael clicked her tongue, her usual telltale sign that she was done with a conversation. “Finish running with Lucid and then you can go see him if you want to participate. Tomorrow morning is the final day for Knights to sign up for the yearly Fourth Month expedition.”

The sun had just crossed under the horizon by the time we finished running. At some point, before we’d started gasping for every breath, I’d relayed Shael’s sort of invitation to Lucid to see what he’d thought, but the boy squire hadn’t had much to offer. Apparently it was a yearly expedition into the more mysterious parts around Silverwater territory. It seemed normal from what he told me, but there was something off about the way Shael had talked about it.

I waved farewell to Lucid and made my way toward the Knight Captain’s quarters I visited on my first day in this new world. It took me less than half an hour of wandering through the mansion’s great halls before I finally managed to track down the captain’s room. First floor, plain door, look for the room with a giant map and bunch of meticulously hung weapons. I nearly missed the room since the door was opened but luckily the enormous map caught my eye as I walked past.

No guard stood at the door, though I couldn’t remember if one had been there the first time I visited either. I didn’t bother knocking. If he expected knocks, the door should have been closed.

The room was empty except for the knight captain who was busy scribbling something down in the large tome I’d seen previously. Again, the moment he heard me, or anyone really, he instantly slammed the book shut.

“My lady?” He asked as curt as ever, not even gesturing for me to take a seat. I sat anyway.

“I want to participate in next Spring’s expedition,” I responded just as curtly.

“Will you slow us down?” He asked, taking out a slip of paper with tens of handwritten names.

“No.”

“Do you understand the risks of such a venture, Young Lady Silverwater?” There was something to his tone I couldn’t quite place. A warning? Maybe a hint of concern?

“I understand fully, captain of the knights. I will take care to not succumb to any of those… risks.”

“Very well. These are the assigned knights and mercenaries who will be accompanying us on the expedition. Unfortunately, I cannot authorize a young noble lady’s admittance into an expedition like this, but neither am I obligated to stop you. Do as you wish.”

I signed my name without giving it another thought. Good or bad, only time would tell.