Blinking a couple of times I take a look around the room. I'm standing on a lounge chair, in front of me there's a small coffee table and on the other side of it there's a woman in a white office dress, slowly sipping from a coffee mug with her legs crossed one above the other.
"Hello primitive creature, I am Valerya, your guide for the next 5 minutes"
Two white wings portrude from her back, slightly masked by strands of golden hair falling from above.
"Woah, cool wings, can I have some too?" I pointed my finger at her and said, well, *tried* to say. Alas my mouth opened and closed but the silence of the room remained undisturbed.
Shaking her head, a small smirk shows on her lips "I'm sure you have many questions and I'll gladly not answer any of them, so I'll be grateful if you'd shut up, not that you'd have any choice, thank you!" she smiles cheerfully
'The fuck? Is this a bug?'
Swiping her hand through the air, a small paper map on appears on the table. Where did her coffee mug go? No one could say.
"This is Azkana, the world you'll be starting your adventure in" she then lowers her finger to a small city in the northern part of the map.
"And this is Everbrill, a small, desolate area nobody gives a fuck about, just the right place for a primate like you, isn't it wonderful?" she claps her hands with an innocent smile.
'This fucking bitch is messing with me!!' I try to say as I slam my hand in the small little table in front of me, alas I only end up looking as an angry mime.
"Now now primate-kun" she shakes her finger at me "That's not how civilized people act, I haven't finished the presentation yet!" and then with a snap of her finger she makes vines grow out of the ground, pulling me back to the chair, keeping me tied.
"But since you're so eager to beat dogs with sticks or whatever you apes like to do, I won't hold you back any longer."
She claps two times and a portal opens up under my chair
Hey, HEY- WAIT, WHAT ABOUT MY TUTORIAL??HOW DO I PICK A CLASS???HOW CAN I GET COOL ARMOR HERE????WHERE IS THE BOOB SLIDER????
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
"Bye bye <3" she said as she cheerfully waved. And that was the last I heard as I got teleported away.
.......
"Hey, you, you're finally awake" I open my eyes to a bald, fat man looking at me from above.
"I've thought you dead, you've been unconscious since you've arrived here, must have been some wild night, eh?" he laughed while holding his belly.
I just nodded as I massaged my head.
Taking a short look at the dark surroundings I couldn't help but ask "Uhm, where are we?"
"In the prison, of course!" he says while showing with his hands around the room.
And then I've noticed. The iron bars, the unwashed stone walls, the small corner full of poop. The bitch not only didn't give me the full tutorial, not only did she call me a primitive ape...
"SHE EVEN SENT ME TO FUCKING PRISON!!" I yell, shaking the iron bars like a retard. Maybe I was an ape after all.
The baldy stared giving me weird looks and slowly tiptoed to the back of the cell, other prisoners just made their displeasure clear, and *loud*.
"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep you bitch!"
Giving a final shake to the iron bars I climb down and continue.
"FOR ALL GODS THAT MIGHT CARE TO LISTEN, I SWEAR I'M GONNA FIND THAT BITCH AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER!"
I obviously take my video games seriously, and as any respectable gamer so do I my grudges. I don't care that she's the tutorial npc, if there's a will there's a way!
Ding ding!
[You've attracted the attention of Daemon, the god of death, he has listened to your pledge and decided to accept it.]
[New quest received: Beating the shit out of Valerya, The Naughty Angel of Heavens.]
Reward: ???
[Your intense hatred has gained the attention of divine beings, marking you as a slightly more important mortal in the eyes of the mighty]
+1 Divinie Insight
Oh shit. Well, nevermind, I guess I ain't uninstalling this game after all
The fatty that was now giving me weird looks, waved my hand to him with a creepy, pedofile-like smile and then promptly disconnected from the game.
...
I stretch my arms and legs and as I climb out of the capsule. "Alright, it's time to do some research about this shit if I am to take it seriously"
Guest174682: This game sucks, I stubbed my toe in a stone and it hurt, 1/10, would not recommend.
SussyBaka2010: This is the best game ever!! I've played hide and seek in it with my friends and it was just like in real life, amazing!!!
TheOldGeezer: Hehe, has anyone tried sex in this game? I've fondled an NPC and it seemed pretty real, sadly she beat my ass and now I have to wait 24hrs before getting back :(
1028293 likes
- N00dleSampl3: Old man, are you sure it felt like the real thing? Don't mess with us!
-- YourMomToTheMoon69: ^ someone confirm plz, I can't play yet but I'm gonna buy a capsule just for this if it's real.
---.........
Mohammed263822: Good gam, have sharingan pow pow.
This game really caught on, didn't it? It's been just over 24 hours since it's launch and it's already in top 10 most played games, well it's immersion is pretty real to be honest, maybe I should also try some of the things these guys said in the comments...
After a rigurous web surf I've gained a couple of insights:
First, this game has a complete pain system, giving it a realism unlike ever seen before in a game of this type, coupled with it's perfect imitation of the senses... this is truly like another world...
Second, there are no levels, you can only grow your stats, upgrade your gear or simply get better to progress through the game.
Third, all classes are gained in game, there are basic classes than you can get from trainers or societies but you can also gain classes from quests, lucky encounters, class books and more. It's diversity in classes seems to be endless as you can find people talking about the discovery of a new class every couple of minutes.
Stiffening a yawn I decide to leave the computer on sleep mode and also get some for myself.
'Hmm, should I leave on the alarm for going to college? Naaah, who needs that shit, this game just got released, it's time for some grinding.'
A few minutes later my eyes close to the thoughts of making Vakerya crawl in a bunny suit, tears and snot all over her face.
"I beg you master! Please forgive this ignorants fool transgressions! I am but a manerless tsundere"