“The feeling won’t go away…”

“And that’s the last of it.”

Allyson, her mother, and her younger brother completed moving every piece of luggage, backpack, and bag from their vehicle to the Parkside apartment. Going back and forth with relatively heavy carriages can be exhausting as seen by their expressions. Nothing else really needed to be done at this point. Her desk was already set up earlier, and the bed was firmly arranged in the far left corner of the room. Prior to her move-in, light blue couches and a small dining table were already in the living room area. In the kitchen, the shelves contained a decent amount of utensils, plates, and bowls. Allyson brought some of her own and placed them in the cabinets above the sink.

She’ll have to do a few more errands later. But that did not matter at the moment. It’s now official; She has moved into her apartment.

Outside of the building and just at the cusp of the parking lot pavement, Allyson was with her mom and brother before departing their separate ways.

“Thanks for helping me move in. It’s pretty crazy that I have my own apartment.”

“Oh, I can’t believe my daughter really is living on her own,” her mom could not help but smile yet water was flowing down her face. She quickly wiped them from her face but they persisted. “Please study hard and be careful out here ok?”

“I promise mom,” Allyson chuckled and embraced her mother. Her younger brother joined soon after.

“Please text me when you are coming home.”

Allyson continued to hold onto her family trying her hardest to maintain her calm expression. She tightened her hug one last time.

“Text me if you need anything.”

“I will.” she nodded before seeing her family drive away. She stood at the entrance by herself. “Damn, I’m really living on my own here now. It feels… weird.”

Upon returning to the building and heading to the 6th floor to enter her apartment, Allyson noticed a young woman half a foot shorter than her returning with several groceries bags on the table.

“Oh hey,” She waved in one direction once. “Name’s Allyson. I know I was expecting a roommate, and I didn’t expect you to arrive this soon. Nice to meet you!”

“Hey,” the response of her tone was monotonous, made no eye contact, and continued to unload her groceries. “I’m Julia.”

“So,” Allyson elongated her words while pouting her lips. “Need any help with your bags?”

“No.”

Allyson slightly widened her eyes, walked away from her roommate, and took her luggage. “I’ll just move my stuff into my room.”

“Good. It was a mess when I came back.”

“Yeahhhhhh. I’m unpacking everything.”

Allyson resumed where she left off: putting specific clothes in certain cabinets, hanging her country’s flag on the left side of the wall, hanging a wallpaper of her favorite video game franchise, organizing her acrylic keychains on her key hooks, and lastly plugging her gaming consoles on a TV stand in front of her bed.

She spent the weekend walking over 10 minutes to a grocery store and purchasing a few vegetables, fruits, and frozen meal packages. Since she had no choice but to walk everywhere, Allyson decided to tour around the campus to get comfortable ahead of time. While spending at least an hour walking around the enormous campus, it felt much bigger than expected. There were times when she felt she was going to get lost.

Ever since that awkward introduction, Allyson made no attempts to converse with Julia. She even hoped that the apartment would be empty whenever possible.

Allyson hoped that when the semester starts tomorrow it would stay like that.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

First week of the new school year - August 29

Allyson woke up at 8am and toasted a bagel with sesame seeds. She took her time to finish her breakfast while dressing up with a blue purple short-sleeved shirt with black jeans. Once she grabbed her notebooks, mechanical pencils, apartment keys, and placed them in her backpack, she was out the door.

Near the McKeldin Mall, there was a large field with a long fountain in the middle. The fountain was split into three levels at different heights like stairs. Each level was wide enough for people to walk through its shallow water. On the right of the library, the Tydings building between the Chincoteague and Scott Key building held her first class. Going inside and heading upstairs, a few students were in the relatively spacious classroom. Allyson found a row with no one in close proximity and took a seat there.

The class had begun and for pretty much the first two days, it was only just reviewing the syllabus.

Three days into the first week, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She was seeing people minding their own business and walking to wherever they needed to be.

Until Thursday, after her classes were finished, Allyson decided to walk around the campus again. After exiting the Stamp building around 3pm, she saw a construction site on her right and a large parking lot in front of her. Allyson noticed three students in formal clothing speaking with a few other students near the building. Curiosity was on her mind. As she was closing onto the group, she made sure to lower down her earbuds volume.

“...getting art should be easy as long as we get those weird artist people to do our work.”

“Who do we ask?”

“Easy. Julia,” one of the three students said. “She’ll be our best bet to present ourselves with this project of ours. Besides, she’s the most normal-ish person to talk to.”

Allyson walked far enough and the voices became difficult to hear.

“Hmm, I didn’t know Julia was an artist. I wonder what kind of big project she’s working on.”

As she looked up, she saw someone wearing a gray work shirt and navy blue tactical pants exiting the construction site. The person also wore a construction helmet and a safety vest.

“Jansen?”

“Oh, hey Allyson!” Jansen noticed and walked over to her. His smile radiated her aura. “Didn’t expect you to be around here.”

“I wanted to walk around for a bit,” her face beamed up a bit. “What’s with the uniform? You work here?”

“Well, I’m not a construction worker,” he took off his vest where the gray shirt displayed a text of his department. “I actually work with the Police Auxiliary.”

“Oh, that’s news to me,” Allyson was a bit surprised. “So what do you do exactly?”

“Think of us as like the extra eyes for campus security,” he said before leaning a tad closer to Allyson and covering one side of his face with his hand horizontally up. “But really, we do work that the police don’t want to do.”

“Ah I see,” she slightly smirked. “The campus police hires students to do mundane shit huh?”

“Quiet down,” Jansen gestured his hands downward. “They’re watching me. No one can know that. I can’t lose my job, you know.”

Allyson playfully covered her mouth with her hands. By doing that, they both shared a laugh. Allyson slowly became less tense before loosening her backpack.

“By the way, do you know those three over there?” She gestured her index finger and pointed to the three well-dressed students near the entrance of the construction site.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

“Oh them?” Jansen’s expression remained unchanged. “They’re Scott, Joe, and Cree. They’re the children of the Herman, Hurwitz, and Cuffey family. The rich kids.”

“Oh that’s them?!,” she widened her eyes and opened her mouth leaving an open gap. “I literally walked past them and didn’t realize they were in front of me. I want to make sure I can get a good relationship with them.”

“I will tell you, however, to be careful around them.”

Allyson astonishingly gazed at him as her pupils expanded a bit. “Really? How come?”

Jansen said nothing for a split second. “Well, appearances can be deceiving. Stay on your guard around them and you’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” she softly answered and made just one nod.

“Sorry for making it a little tense there. I wanted to make sure you’re safe here.”

“It’s all good,” Allyson shrugged her shoulders while maintaining a little smile. “I appreciate you looking out for me.”

Jansen wore his safety vest again. “I would love to stay and talk here, but I need to finish my rounds so I’ll see you around.”

“See you around!”

Allyson, throughout her walk there and back to her apartment, kept contemplating what Jansen said to her. She wondered if what he said was true. Would this mean that her career may have taken a step back?.

Upon reaching home, Julia appeared to be elsewhere. She wanted to mention something to her, but simultaneously, but decided against it.

Friday evening.

Allyson decided to cook up one of her mom’s recipes. With some sweet potato starch noodles, mushrooms, spinach, onions, and topping it off with some sesame seeds, it was successfully completed. She took a picture and sent it to her mom captioning: “Look what I made Mom!”

She opened a container of fermented kimchi that her mom gave her. Excitement and joy were written all over her face.

The door suddenly opened.

“Hey,” she greeted Julia, less engaging than previously.

“Hey,” the same tone recurred when they first met. She smelled the kitchen and her face scrunched up a bit. “What’s that weird smell?”

“I don’t smell anything weird.”

Julia saw a container in front of Allyson. “Then what’s that?”

“It’s just kimchi. Wanted to bring a little bit of home here.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded with a lack of amusement. “Well, eat whatever you like I guess.”

“Hey, Julia.”

“What?” She was a bit irritated by her expression.

“Scott, Joe, and Cree were talking about some project you had while I was walking on this past Wednesday so I wondered-”

“That’s none of your concern,” she quickly retorted as she directly stared at Allyson. “That is only between them and me. You don’t need to know any of it.”

Allyson was just silent and froze from where she was sitting.

“I’m leaving in a bit. Now I have to wash my clothes again, just washed them yesterday,” Julia shut the door to her room, quickly swapped into her casual clothes, and stormed out the apartment.

Suddenly, Allyson lost her appetite. She took a few bites but the taste was tainted by Julia’s words. Her expression turned soft but her smile turned upside down in an instant. Allyson just gazed at her food.

She received a text message and another notification. The text was from her mother.

“Wow! So yummy! :) How was school? What about roommate? Good so far?”

Allyson’s response: “School’s been great! My roommate’s been good. We’re trying to get to know each other.”

Her mom’s last reply: “Very good! Happy on your first week! Enjoy your weekend!~”

She let out a heavy sigh and hardly finished half of her dinner. Allyson decided to save them and returned the containers back to the fridge. After lying on her bed, she stared at the roof for what felt like hours. No thoughts ran through her mind.

“Not how I wanted this week to start out. No one to even talk to. I always hated this feeling. Of course, it’s happening again.”

Allyson slowly closed her eyes and patiently waited to doze off.

Until a notification alarm buzzed on her phone.

She opened up the TerpConnect app and navigated to the chat feature to see a message for her. A smile beamed on her face.

JansenErikson: Hey Allyson, it’s me Jansen!

AllysonKim: Hey Jansen!

JansenErikson: What are you up to now?

AllysonKim: Nothing much. I’m just chilling in my bed.

JansenErikson: Well, I just finished my shift today. Gonna get something around here. Care to join me? I do recall you wanted to find some food around here 😏

AllysonKim: Sure! I’d love to join! Though not hungry…

JansenErikson: Consider it a night snack. Here’s the place: Ten Ren’s. I’ll meet you there soon!

AllysonKim: Heading over there now!

It took about over 15 minutes before she found the restaurant on the streets of Route 1. Luckily, it was near the grocery store she went to a week prior. Upon entering, she saw Jansen waiting at a table for two.

After greeting, they sat in front of each other. After looking over the menu, Jansen went with Tonkatsu with noodles and Winter Melon tea while Allyson ordered Spring Rolls with Taro bubble tea.

“How was your first week here?” Jansen initiated the conversation.

“Not bad,” Allyson spoke while formulating a plan to mask what transpired with Julia. “Classes aren’t a huge deal right now, but I know it’ll be worse once assignments and essays come around.”

“As long as you plan ahead, it’s not too bad. Though 5 classes is a lot to manage.”

“You’re telling me,” she agreed and let out a relieved sigh. “Though just doing classes feels like I’m in a rut. I don’t have anything else to do around here.”

“If that’s the case, then why don’t you try to apply with the Police Auxiliary?” Her partially stunned expression spoke of itself. “We usually are open to hiring during the school year.”

“But I’m not like studying a police major or anything like that,” Allyson was concerned with her tone.

“Ah, you don’t have to worry about that,” he scoffed at Allyson’s rebuttal. “I’m not a ‘police major’. I’m an English major.”

“Really?” Jansen’s nod eased her nerves a bit. “Then, in that case, I could join your police auxiliary team. What’s the work like?”

“Most shifts are usually in the evenings and day shifts are usually hard to get by unless it’s the weekend. People usually scoop the day shifts but you’ll likely get the evening ones, so you’ll learn to be a night owl.”

“I’m going to be like a vampire.”

The conversation came to a halt because they were enjoying their orders. After finishing their food, Jansen asked for a check so the two could pay. The service was rather quick and they paid their checks and walked out of the restaurant.

Allyson and Jansen decided to walk near the campus. They were in a walkway in the middle of a large field and found their way to the McKeldin Mall. They sat on the fountain and continued their conversation there. Allyson broke the ice and mentioned her awkward experiences with Julia.

“That’s a shame,” he sympathized with her. “Having a sucky roommate makes living at the apartment difficult.”

“I want to get along with her but she just brushes me off whenever I try to talk to her. I guess things don’t always go my way,” Allyson gazed at the starry sky. Her face showed a lack of faith and whispered to herself. “I hate how it’s always like this.”

Jansen was silent for a moment trying to figure out how to phrase his response. “You can’t ever expect to get along with everyone as much as it pains me to say that to you. Though, you’ll have those who do more than just get along with you; they will understand you.”

“Yeah…” Allyson unhappily replied. “One day, I could shake off this feeling and not have to live through it again.”

“Come again?”

“Oh, nothing,” Allyson shook her head and took out her phone. She showed the ember app on her phone. “This might sound weird, but I want to ask you something. Have you ever had this app on your phone before? I couldn't delete this when I was at home, not here.”

“Oh that,” Jansen nodded as he showed the same app on his phone to Allyson. “I also have it too.”

“At least it’s not just me,” she breathed a sigh of relief. What even is this app?”

“From what my friends told me, nothing really happens when you use it. They said it just shows the icon and that’s really it. I tried it before and they were right about it”

“That’s emberassing,” she deadpanned. “I was expecting more…”

Jansen chuckled. “That's why it’s not a flame.”

A little crack of Allyson's smile brightened Jansen’s face.

“Well, I hope things do get better with Julia,” he got up and stretched his arms out. “Oh wow, I’m about to be late at home. I promised my housemate our game night.”

“Ooh, gamer’s night. That sounds fun,” Allyson got up and did the same thing. “It’s really nice that I talked with you, Jansen. I honestly needed it.”

“Well, when a friend’s in need, I’ll be there,” he walked a few steps before facing Allyson. “Want a ride back home? Unless you have night vision or are a vampire, it’ll be hard to walk back home.”

“Sure,” she answered without hesitation.

Allyson was dropped off in front of her apartment. She happily waved her goodbye to Jansen. He did the two-finger salute before pointing the fingers at Allyson.

After changing into her violet pajama set with her childhood video game characters and powering on her gaming console, Allyson sat upright on her bed with a controller in hand. Scrolling through her library to select a game, she lamented.

“The feeling won’t go away.”