The ferryman seemed like he was an okay guy, but Flyte felt like the secrets that he held were numerous to the point of tangibility.
For one thing, despite the boat’s immense size, the seemingly omnipresent man had no crew and refused any help the army proffered. The only help he did acknowledge was from his beast, called a kraken whale, pulling his ship.
There was plenty of sleeping space below deck, although very few rooms were free for use. Flyte wasn’t sure what those rooms were reserved for, but one had to be the ferryman’s quarters. No one had seen him in the supplied beds during the nights.
The boat’s deck was exquisitely clean, in no small part due to the soldiers’ ideas to help, and the railing along the side of the boat was magnificent. It was made of a dark, oiled spruce beam and was meticulously carved to depict the history of Riftgard, portraying times Flyte knew nothing about and fiends that seemed indomitable.
Flyte had spent an immense portion of his time studying these carvings, but after a few hours he figured that it might be more productive and fun to speak with his spirit friends.
‘Nelar.’
The world seemed to brighten as Flyte was transported to the 3rd plane. Hundreds of spirits travelled along the Thalkan river, almost as though it were a market street in the capital city. There were many whose kind he’d never seen, so he could only guess which magic they corresponded with.
Flyte looked around, thinking that Glow, Rowlo, or Star might be traveling along the Thalkan river as well, but he couldn’t find any of them. Instead, he took note of a swirling gray spirit floating directly toward him.
“Hello, Flyte,” it exhaled.
“Hello,” Flyte responded, nonplussed. “Do I know you?”
“Oh,” the spirit began. “It’s me, Honorious.”
“Oh,” Flyte said, a little wary, the spirit had killed Flyte in the past after all. “How are you doing?”
“I’m well,” he exhaled. “Mostly because I’m no longer a shade. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Flyte said, a little relieved.
“Is there something you need,” Honorious exhaled.
“Oh,” Flyte started. “I was just visiting some spirit friends of mine; do you want to join me?”
“Gladly,” Honorious exhaled. “By the way, thanks for giving those moments of clarity before my death.”
“What?” Flyte asked, confused.
“Did you not know?” Honorious asked. “The light you infused Dark Haven with gave every shade that remained summoned a few moments of freedom.”
Flyte couldn’t put his joy into words, but a single tear conveyed enough. “Thank you for telling me, I thought my efforts were in vain.”
“Well, they Weren’t,” Honorious’s light gray form pulsed light blue, seeming almost reverent.
Flyte wandered over to where he felt like Glow, Rowlo, and Star were, trailed by Honorious and feeling much happier.
“Hey guys,” Flyte greeted the trio, beaming.
“Hello, Flyte,” Glow whistled. “Who’s your wind spirit friend?”
“This is Honorious,” Flyte started. “He was a friend of a friend in life, but maybe we’ll be compatriots in his spirit life.”
“Well visit more often and I’m sure you will be,” Glow joked. “We’ll keep track of him for you.”
“Of course I’ll start to visit more,” Flyte said, smiling. “I’m about to clear a lot off my schedule.”
“Oh,” Glow whistled. “You’re chasing Will then?” Flyte nodded his affirmation. “Can you promise to summon us for that fight? We are happy and willing to help out, even if our help isn’t something you want to accept.”
“I promise,” Flyte said. He meant it too.
“Thank you,” Star hummed. “We’re here for you whenever you need it.”
Honorious watched this, and he even seemed to agree despite not being affiliated with Flyte. “I wouldn’t mind killing that monster myself,” he exhaled.
“Well,” Flyte smiled. “The more the merrier. What’s your rune?”
Honorious waited for a moment. “I-I don’t know,” he exhaled sadly. “I think it’s revealed at death, but my death happened quite a while before I joined the 3rd plane.”
“Then when I find it out,” Flyte began. “That’s another thing to put Will under for.”
“Flyte,” Glow whistled. “You don’t have to worry so much about Honorious knowing his rune. I’m a healing spirit, and I’m well versed in finding this sort of thing out.”
“How long will it take?” Flyte asked.
“I’ll have it ready next you stop by,” Glow whistled reassuringly.
“In that case,” Flyte began. “Do you guys want to hear about Ander’s fight against a dragon?”
“Yes,” they all answered.
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Elliot felt alone. Sure, he was surrounded by a hundred people, but he knew very few of them. Sadly enough, Flyte was doing whatever he did during his trance-like states, and Ander’s focus was taken up by his need to lead.
So, Elliot was left alone, thinking about where everything must have gone wrong for him. Had it been Will’s fault that life crumbled, or was it tearing itself apart before he even showed up?
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Elliot couldn’t help but think that it was his own fault. He had never been good at handling change, and that kept him from making the most of his life. All of the missed opportunities that he would never get to right weighed on him. He had lost so many.
Elliot missed Honorious. The older man had cared for him despite all of his faults. ‘Am I betraying him by allying with Ander? Honorious betrayed Ander first, but surely there’s not a lot of lost love between them.’
The ferryman decided to stand next to Elliot. “A calm day isn’t it,” he said. “The sun is low, the winds are cool, the clouds float alongside us. On days like these I enjoy thinking aloud, and I can’t help but ask what you’re thinking about over there, holding such a somber expression.”
“Oh,” Elliot said. “I’m not thinking about anything important.”
“Well,” the ferryman returned. “If I’ve learned anything from my siblings, it’s that the things we let occupy our minds are important to someone. Perhaps I could help with the thing’s disturbing you if you told me.”
“I’m afraid it’s nothing simple.”
The vessel’s captain stalled for just a moment. “Look into the sea. Around us are dozens upon dozens of miles of water, a daunting thing for many others. There are things that live in the water that can strike as much fear in a man’s heart as the denizens of the rift, yet, even here, there are miracles daily. Whole schools of fish grow despite the horrors of the depths surrounding them. The buoyancy of this ship alone allows me to carry you across a distance ten times easier than if I used a horse. Every living being that I know of needs water to thrive.” The ferryman smiled. “I am willing to cart you from land to land, can I not also help to carry your burdens?”
“Okay,” Elliot began. “I’ll tell you what’s bothering me, if that’s what you insist on.”
“I used to fight for the late king of Chraith. While I didn’t really care for the man, my mentor was like an older brother for me. One day, a singular man took that all away from me, and I met Flyte and Ander.”
“The issue is that Ander was betrayed by my mentor, and I don’t know if I’m disgracing him by befriending Ander. It doesn’t help that I’m averse to changes enough that I couldn’t think about this choice until I finally got enough room to breathe.”
The ferryman listened courteously. “Do you know what I do when I doubt a choice of mine?”
“No,” Elliot answered respectfully. “What do you do?”
“I write in my journal,” the ferryman smiled. “That helps me to clear my head enough to ask relevant questions. For example, are there any decisions that Ander has made that directly combat your mentor’s? Did your master truly choose to betray his ally, or was he forced to? Are Ander’s actions good, and if so, then does the possible disgrace even matter?”
“When I pull my boat through this river, I don’t worry about the damage my vessel causes the water. It scrapes past and pushes the water, but the sea returns back to normal soon after. What I worry about is the sea’s damage to my boat. If the tide is low, my boat might get scraped up, and it doesn’t return to normal. If I don’t notice some driftwood or debris, my vessel may be battered”
“You were friends with your mentor, who is no longer alive. He will recover from any perceived slight you cause him, but if you allow ideas about what he might think hold you back, your memories of him will hurt you in ways that he never intended. With him gone, you are all that’s left to yourself away from those injuries. Remember him, appreciate him even, but don’t force him to hurt you, else you’ll spoil his name far worse than otherwise.”
Elliot thought about that. “Is there something I can do to feel better?”
The ferryman showed Elliot an empathetic smile. “Emotion is very similar to the tide. It undulates with time, hard feelings can soften in time, you’ve just gotta keep your focus on it.”
“So, give it time?” Elliot asked.
“Of course,” the water-lover said.
“And nothing else?” Elliot inquired.
“Oh,” the ferryman began. “No. Enjoy living, have fun, spend time with friends. Time can only do so much. It only acts intermediately with the sun and moon to set the tides, you know. Some bodies of water don’t even have tides.”
“Thank you,” Elliot said. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t very open.”
“That’s alright,” the ferryman smiled. “No one is.”
“No metaphor about the seas?”
"It's an allegory, and of course not,” the maybe-man sailor chuckled. “Man isn’t the sea; life is too fragile to compare them and make them seem equal. They just aren’t.”
Elliot smiled. “I’ll see you around, but I’ve got a life to harness, just like the wind.”
As Elliot walked out of earshot, the Veran ferryman mumbled to himself sorrowfully. “Wind? Too bad that one suits him so well. What a loss.”
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Ander's left arm ached. sometimes it did that, likely because of the difference in its weight and flesh's.
'Perhaps the stone arm is some sort of price to pay for the magic I hold.' The thought remained nearly as long as his magic, but reason was beginning to make that idea crumble.
For one thing, his slowed arm had turned out to be a very handy tool in keeping Ander alive through his battles. The theory wasn't helped by the fact that Ander had been cursed long before his first usage of magic.
It would be strange without them, but the time was long past for Ander to say goodbye to his doubts. No more wondering about whether his magic should fit in this world, no more regretting what cannot be changed, no more blocking out parts of himself. Ander would stand tall.
But just because he would stand tall didn't mean that he wasn't terrified of what was coming. The rift was a terrible place, as the cities bordering it could attest. Ander didn't know how he could ensure his friends' safety. He couldn't bear witnessing the death of a friend due to one of his actions.
Standing tall didn't make Ander feel any less like a monster. He had taken so many lives to preserve his own, but each of those beings certainly deserved to live as much as he did. Ander had spent so long seeking revenge that he forgot just how much he hated death.
The quixotic nature of his journey was enough to force Ander to think longer. This thinking helped him rationalize his decision.
Ander told himself that he only journeyed to fight Will because the crazed man's existence put his friends in danger.
But was that true? Was Ander angrier over what Will had done to him or the power that he could inflict pain with?
Ander believed that he was focused on the latter, he had forgiven Honorious after all.
It truly was a headache working through all of these different thoughts and feelings. Ander was tired and fatigued, but still, he had to lead.
Ander realized that he had begun to hate leading people. He wasn't confident in any part of the job except for the training.
"Eris," Ander called out to the similar-minded woman. "Would you like to take command of the army?"
She raised one eyebrow skeptically. "Ander, I think you need some sleep. That question borders on irrationality."
Eris explained her thoughts. "Your men depend on and trust you in a way that is irreplaceable. What could possibly make you give up on them?"
"I just don't think that I'm good enough to lead this army anymore. How many of our woes would've been avoided if someone else led these soldiers?"
Eris laughed at him, and Ander couldn't help but feel a little hurt. "Sorry," she smiled empathetically. "I forgot how much someone can change in a year. None of us would have been as joyful without you. Everyone has doubts, and that's okay, but come on, with how long we've been doing this, you'd think you'd see the change in your troops."
"What change?" Ander asked.
"Don't you see their burdens lifted?" Eris asked. "Think, you helped Henry have a little bit of justice, Honorious was able to have some conciliation before his death, Ferris was able to break out of his mind's prison. You've made a family here and your efforts to help aren't wasted."
"Do you not think I've become a monster then?"
"Obviously not," Eris answer. "Everyone has the potential to be a monster inside, but you keep it at bay as often as possible. Come on, we've both fought enough monsters to know one when we see one. The only person seeing a monster when they look at you is you."
"Thank you," Ander said. "I needed that. Now, let's get this show on the road."
"Aha," Eris smiled. "There's the man I fell in love with."
Ander looked at her, slightly embarrassed. "See," she started. "Even that lovely artlessness is still there. I think it might just be my favorite thing about you, so I'm glad."
"If that's my best trait," Ander began. "How did the Ander you fell in love with only just now show up? I've been wholly honest this entire time."
"Simple," Eris laughed. "Your lack of guile wasn't always my favorite thing about you."
Ander feigned shock as the two of them walked to the side of the boat, watching the beautifully starred sky as they drifted along the empty sea.