“Are you sure you want to do this?”

I breathe out and watch as my breath billows up in a cloud of silver mist, illuminated by our moon. No. I’m not sure. In fact, I think there is still a part of me that is terrified at the prospect. The idea that somehow I, a seventeen year old girl, could make a difference. Would it even be possible for me to change what has been tradition for several thousand years… if what we found out was actually true.

“Sai?”

I breathe in and count to ten, allowing my excited heart to slow. That pit at the bottom of my stomach needs to close and I need to get moving. But my eyes are locked on the frozen landscape. It feels like a painting I might see in a museum or something. A white blanket draped over everything, untouched by fawna. The occasional tree with a thick frost coating their branches. A land frozen in time.

One of the most memorable quotes I’ve read was ‘the most beautiful things, can also be the deadliest’. I wasn’t entirely sure what it meant at the time, but maybe this is one of those things. 

My hands have gone numb and my legs, stiff and aching. If I didn’t start moving, this beautiful place in the mountains, would kill me. Tightening the grip on the satchel I have slung over one shoulder, I force my frozen legs to move. Snow crunches underfoot as a strong gust of wind makes a serious attempt to knock me over. When it calms, I let out the breath I had been holding in, and then I take in another.

“Sai!” 

“Wha… what is it?” I ask.

“Finally!” he says. “I asked you a question which you didn’t answer.”

He can’t see my face, but I roll my eyes anyway. “How am I supposed to answer questions when I’m in the middle of… surviving?”

“See Sai? That’s the problem with creatures like me who can read minds,” he paused, probably for dramatic effect. “I know what you’re thinking and it has absolutely nothing to do with… surviving.”

I shake my head. 

“Honestly?” I ask. “I don’t want to do this.” 

“Then… why?”

I don’t know if Senza will really understand. The reason we are out here, what I plan to do, it terrifies me to the core. “Because there are people who need my help,” I say. The steadiness of my own voice surprises me. 

Senza didn’t reply for a long time. After a while of silence, I look to my other shoulder to see if the otter was alright. 

“I wish it were easy for you,” Senza finally says. “I’m just as afraid, maybe even more…” he looks up, his eyes wide with… is that wonder?

I follow his gaze to the ridge ahead of us. 

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Blue eyes stare at us. The wolf makes no move to approach, but it also doesn’t appear fearful or angry that we might be in its territory. It stands there calmly, perhaps curious of our presence. Then I see the little white fox run up beside him and my whole body fills with warmth. The little fox’s amber eyes fall on mine and everything else falls away. The snow and ice are replaced with grass and a stream of water. Trees with their branches full of leaves are scattered around the landscape and standing tall in the distance, is the largest building I have ever lay my eyes on. 

The main structure appears like a mixture between the old school houses still standing all around Aurys and temples we use to worship the gods. Parapets connect six towers together and the gate leading in is a large, arched doorway.

Senza lets out a tiny breath of his own. “So it… it is real.”

“Yeah,” I say. My entire body is frozen, but not because of the cold this time.

“Wait!” Senza snaps his gaze to the little fox who is still staring at us.

I look to and notice that the wolf is nowhere to be found. “Senza, is he a-”

“Shifter.”

Shifters. From what I understand, are a rare breed. Looking at him, I’m not sure if I should be honored that this shifter decided to show himself to us, or terrified of what he might be able to do.

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

Senza’s voice was calming and caused me to relax just a little. Realizing I had a death grip on my satchel and my knuckles were beginning to turn white, I loosen it. “There is something else,” I say as my eyes wander over the no longer frozen landscape.

“I think he did this to give us a little bit of comfort. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s doing more harm than good.”

“That is…”

“He created a glamor. It is an illusion that can change all the senses, but if we’re standing in the freezing cold, even if the glamor gives us the illusion of warmth, it doesn’t change a thing.” 

“Then… I should probably keep walking forward huh?”

“Yeah.”

The illusion is remarkable. I have heard of glamors before of course and even had Senza craft me one to change my appearance. It wouldn’t be good for me to enroll in this school if people actually knew who I was. Never before though, had I seen one so powerful. Glamors that can change all the senses simultaneously, are generally forbidden and for good reason I think. But this… this is a glamor that can literally take the breath away.

I walk forward and no longer feel the crunch of snow beneath my boots. Walking becomes easier as I no longer have to trudge and the breeze is warm, but also a little cool, a sweet caress against what little skin I have exposed. 

The wonders never cease. I stop before the tall, arched door as my eyes catch something floating in the sky. The small orange lantern drifts without a care, going on an endless adventure, into eternity. My gaze moves to another lanturn and then another and soon, the entire night sky, is full of tiny, orange lights. 

“It’s… I wish we had gotten here sooner.”

He says nothing, but I can feel Senza’s sentiment. Yes, he wishes so as well. 

Every single one of those lights, represents someone who has been lost. A war is raging just beyond our border and many have been killed in the line of duty. I have never been out there personally, but I know the horrors waiting for us over there, ensure that none of our dead can be collected. Even if somehow, we can get out there to collect those bodies, there would be so many graves required to bury the dead that it just isn’t feasible. Lighting these lanterns and letting them float into the beyond, is one way we can honor the fallen, both soldiers and civilians. Mothers and fathers, friends and siblings… children.

The fox strolls into my line of vision once again, breaking me out of my trance. He shifts, seamlessly. His fur receding into what appears to be a small white hoodie and pants, his ears and tail become smaller, until they no longer exist and he becomes bipedal, with arms and hands replacing his front paws and legs. I blink at the silver haired boy, standing before us. He appears to be ten or eleven.

“My name is Shue… who might you be?” 

He smiles and it is both one of the most adorable and saddest expressions I have ever seen. 

“Christina Bellhaven,” I reply.