Acceptance of my new life wasn't simple. My nightmares continued. I knew not if it was night or day, but when dreams left me, I'd sit up in cold sweat, often in a scream.

Snowfall in silence is how my nightmares began. I would run through the snow, through the night, and my neighbors were my prey. I was the beast, somehow I stood over May in her living room, but in my dreams. I looked at her blood on my wretched claws. Each night I would see the kill that preceded the last. My terror mounted as my mind calculated I would eventually reach the first one, my brother Theodore.

"No." I gasped. Every night I was closer and closer to that first kill. I couldn't bear it, I couldn't stand the wait for it to happen.

They entered my cell and found what I had done to myself, harming myself in my wild thrashing, my tantrum. I'd accidentally hit my head against the concrete. My eyes slowly opened, and Bruna was with me, she looked concerned, although it seemed unfair because we hardly knew each other. I wished she was Cherish, that my love was still among the living and with me.

I just sat there and said nothing, and Bruna was in the chair she had brought in.

In the silence between us I felt that alien bond, that strange familiarity. I knew it was the wolf in me, the wolf in her, that were friends. She and I would never see eye to eye. While I sat on my bed, I heard a soft scratching sound, and I looked up.

She had a pad of paper and charcoal and she'd put on glasses that made her look creative and sensitive. I imagined her with long hair for some reason and somehow, while she focused on what she was doing she looked a little like Cherish, at least that way she frowned when she was concentrating.

"You look so sad." Bruna whispered. Her voice made the hairs on my neck stand up. I somehow trusted her with my feelings, and I spoke:

"Every night I see the people under my village, and I am the beast, remembering each kill. I loved those people, and I must watch them die bad deaths. I cannot do this, I can't." I spoke slowly, trying not to sound crazy. She nodded with understanding.

"You cannot cling to your old life." Bruna looked me in the eyes. "I want to help you. I want to give you a new life, something you can cling to that is good for you. I await your acceptance of me, I have already waited my whole life to feel this way about someone. It pains me to be denied, but I will always remain by your side. I will endure this with you, forever if I must." Bruna stared at me, and she sounded like she was swearing some kind of oath.

"Wolves mate for life." I said, trying to sound kind to her. I somehow appreciated her, realizing that this was her way, her whole world, and it was not right to judge her as I had. I regretted it, as I saw she was not the monster I had thought she was. She was just a lonely woman who had taken a leap of faith, and I had let her fall. That's what it felt like, although the logic in me pointed out we were strangers, and her obsession was childish.

"You haven't seen what you look like. There are no mirrors. At least not silver mirrors." Bruna had looked away from me, releasing me from her gaze. "You'd only see the wolf in your reflection, or a distortion. The battalion psychiatrist has determined it isn't healthy for us to see ourselves. That is why there are no mirrors."

"Are you drawing me?" I asked. She kept glancing up at me and adding details to her sketchpad.

"I want you to see what I see." She gazed at me, and her smile was nurturing. "You must see, and know I find you beautiful."

I didn't want to look. Bruna cleared her throat so that I would look up while she was trying to hand me her artwork. My first impression was that she was very talented at drawing, and I did not recognize the man in her sketch. Not at first.

My eyes watered. The beast had slashed my face repeatedly with its powerful claws and nearly removed it. Unlike the scars on my body that had closed up and healed quickly, my face was scraped to the bone, and the healing had twisted me into something as broken as I felt. But she had somehow made me look like a person, for that is what she saw.

"How can you look at me?" I asked with my voice trembling. "It is a mask of horror."

My hands traced the contours of my face, the ravines and gouges. My mouth and eyes and nose protruded from the handywork of the beast's rage.

"No." Bruna said. "I see inside you. We are practically family, remember? You said that to me."

"Inside me is a wolf. I can feel it in me, telling me things, speaking evil thoughts and memories. I want it all to be over, and this is just the beginning." I began to cry. I couldn't help but pity myself, for I had not yet known the purpose nor the call I needed. All I knew was the woman with me had blindly devoted herself to me, and when I saw what she saw, it somehow changed the nature of her affection. I suddenly believed in her.

"Let's go for a walk." Bruna got up, straightening her uniform and offering me her hand. I took it and let her care for me. I trembled and let her dress me and lead me to the door. "Let's go."

We walked together through Ravenrock and I felt like she felt: that this underground darkness was not a prison, it was a sanctuary. We stood at the ledge of a mezzanine, and I saw the largest chamber of Ravenrock, a massive domicile, unoccupied and separate from the quarters of monsters and the warriors frozen in ice. I stared at it and with the lights and the gardens and the many fountains.

"This is called King David's Cave. It is a city waiting for the leaders of our country in case of a war. I come here to look at it. I like the trees, and the sound of the running water. Can you feel the way it sits in stillness? It soothes me." Bruna put her hand on mine on the railing we leaned on, overlooking the unused city.

"Thank you." Is all I could think to say.

We stood there for a long time, and I heard Bruna's tummy growing with hunger. "Excuse me." She giggled nervously. "I can't help it, I'm starved."

"Let's go to the place where there is food." I suggested.

"You mean the mess?" She laughed. "Why are you avoiding the name?"

"Perhaps I am in no mood for names." I explained, but with care in my voice. Her mouth opened slightly like she was surprised to hear a confidential tone from me, but then she smiled mildly and took my hand.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

I didn't let go and I could tell she was content just to walk hand in hand. It was the least I could do, and I felt the same comfort she was feeling. When my mind stopped whimpering, I knew hers. Somehow when I was with her, I felt a reflection of her feelings, and she was calm and powerful and lonesome.

In the mess we found the whole pack was already there eating a meal. It dawned on me that I had thought my first meal was lunch, when it was dinner. Was this breakfast? It was impossible to tell, I wasn't even sure if it was day or night. I couldn't imagine how I would feel after years underground.

The pack members had mischievous grins and knowing looks, like they were enjoying seeing me and Bruna together. They probably were, as I later learned that their loyalty to each other was absolute, and Bruna was their alpha female. She was also second-in-command to Lieutenant Colonel Rose, making her one of their formal leaders as well.

"At ease, boys." She muttered, but she was smiling to show she was pleased with me.

"Hot dog." The soldier who had called me Private sat next to me and said to me.

"That's Sergeant Treach, just call him Timmy. We don't bother with much formality in Ravenrock among the combat unit. We only use formal rank and warrant when we are dealing with our support personnel. Most of them spend most of their time on the surface, so it's usually just us down here." Another soldier told me.

"And you are?" I asked.

"I prefer to be addressed by my surname, as do most of us. Somehow our old names hurt. I'm Ron Abbot, but you will just call me Abbot."

"Call me Treach. Nobody actually calls me Timmy."

"I don't want to hear my name." I said honestly. "It does hurt, to hear it. I know it will."

There was a silence in the mess after I said that.

"You may have a new name." Bruna spoke up. Everyone tapped their table at once, and I recognized it as a sign of approval. Lieutenant Colonel Rose had first done it when he left Bruna and me alone.

After we had eaten, I was taken to where Lieutenant Colonel Rose was in the gym, playing basketball one on one with another soldier. When Bruna and I entered he smiled and nodded at us. "What can I do for you two?"

"Sir, will you perform a naming ceremony for him? His word is cursed, he needs a new one. Please?" Bruna asked with a strange kind of humility. Somehow, I didn't really like hearing her using a submissive tone, I had begun to rely on her strength.

"Of course, I will. Anything for our new brother. Isn't that what you said when they brought him in?" Lieutenant Colonel Rose walked over to us and used the opportunity of Bruna's request mode to explain something to me, while I could see what he was talking about. "This is a new side of her, she began to act this way when she met you. This woman is my best soldier, and I have never seen her so soft. She is very disciplined and dedicated. I know it seems strange, but this is just how it is."

"Bruna?" I looked at her.

She nodded and glanced at Lieutenant Colonel Rose and then she told me the story:

"Wolf Hunt brought you in. All I saw was a body strapped to a gurney. Your face was in bandages and when I smelled you, our bloodlines were in recognition. I had no choice, I felt like I'd waited my whole life to meet you. I couldn't control my feelings, so I just accepted them. In the lore it states that it means we are mates, at least our wolf selves. As humans we might not want it, we might not even like each other." Her voice wavered and I felt bad for how I'd treated her. I had no idea what she had experienced already, before I recovered. "When you rejected me..."

Her eyes watered and she looked away, her lips tightening. She took a deep breath.

"I've never felt hurt like that before. I was so afraid you would never accept me. It was a torment. But then you called me family, and I knew you felt the same way I do. I could sleep again. Then I saw how much pain you are in, how your nightmares chase you, and you run swiftly as the wolf."

I just stood there blinking. I was touched by her honesty and vulnerability. Bruna was not someone who gave herself lightly to anything or anyone. She had trusted her inner wolf, an integral part of her personality, and had felt betrayed. She had needed me to fill a role of faith, and now she saw I needed something just as desperately. Her plea to her chief was truly heartfelt, from what I had seen, Bruna knew no other way. She was always completely sincere. I admired that about her, and it reminded me of Cherish.

Except in the end, Cherish had chosen to become a liar. And I blamed myself for that. A strange thought occurred to me, that I did not want to make the same mistake with Bruna. "What am I thinking, have I surrendered to the wolf inside me, or am I developing real feelings for Bruna?" I asked myself.

"I have chosen a new name for you, my son." Lieutenant Colonel Rose put a hand on my shoulder. "I shall give it to you now. We will gather and your pack will sing for you, after I speak your new word."

I almost asked, "Do they really have to sing to me?" but restrained my facetious urge.

There was the gathering I was promised, and I looked around and saw just how many people were in my pack. There were others among us who were not wolves, but I sensed they were just as dangerous. One of them was another woman, and the light in her eyes made me afraid. I could not look at her, although she was part of our pack, I was afraid of her. I sensed she was dangerous, spontaneous, and cold. I focused on Bruna, who watched me with a happy look on her face.

"We are gathered, Ravenrock Pack, my brothers and sisters. We are defenders, we fight the monsters outside and the ones inside us, and we use our might to rectify and rebuild the wrongs we have committed and the wrongs of those who are like us. We have chosen this path; we have accepted ourselves and each other." Lieutenant Colonel Rose reminded the gathered pack. They knocked on the benches they sat on, agreeing with their leader.

I stood before them, their eyes on me, studying me, knowing me. I felt exposed and understood, but it was like a cold bath. I shivered under their collective gaze.

"This man did not choose to be here; he was not born into this. He doesn't feel it is a gift, but rather a curse. His old life is gone, the people he loved are dead and everyone who knows him thinks he is dead. He was given an order by the government of our nation to join forces with us, to use his new power to protect. He has accepted this responsibility, but he cannot accept what he is."

I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes watered, to hear someone speak of my pain.

"Bruna has chosen him. She has awaited him with honor for her whole life. She has suffered for him and will always remain by his side. But he runs too quickly, even for such a swift foot as her. He runs through the night, remembering the horror that is in his blood. He cannot escape that which he flees from. He is becoming his own prey, turning him from the inside out, into the very monster he fought. He cannot abide this pain without knowing who he is, and that he is among all of you."

Seeing Bruna's tears pained me. I wanted to stop running from her, but I could not.

"Who will we know this man as? This day he is born anew, with a new spirit, capable of facing the beast within. What shall we call him? When will he hear all of you sing together, just for him?" Lieutenant Colonel Rose stopped and stared with an imploring look on his face and his reverent words echoing. I felt deeply moved, as I saw sympathy and acceptance on the faces of all who were gathered for me.

Then I heard my new name, chosen by my chief:

"Atanarjuat."

I turned at the word, answering to it. I knew it was my new name. Something deep inside me mended. I had started to heal in a different way, one that would take much longer than my ravaged body.

Then there was this sound, like nothing I had ever heard before. It began as a sensation, cooling my blood, tingling my skin, like the most ethereal music, some single chord that remained from the dawn of time. It was a promise and a comfort, it was sorrow and pain, it was acceptance and sacrifice, and it was love.

They sang for me, their human voices in a howl, long and mournful. When it was over, they each got up and gave me a token of their acceptance of me. Hugs, handshakes, nods. I heard my new name again and again, and I knew it belonged to me. Eventually, I was left alone, but I did not feel alone.

The ceremony was what I needed, it had an effect on me, and I was forever changed. I had begun to truly heal. Whenever I listened to my heart, I could still hear their song for me, and I never felt alone again.