So, let’s start from the beginning, and before you start complaining that I’m not explaining things well enough, let me just say, I really don’t remember all the details. And if you think it’s hard to forget the day your whole life changed, try living for a few thousand years, then we’ll talk. Hell, can you remember what you ate for lunch a month ago?

Cough.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I died an honorable death. You know, a true warrior’s end, or something like that…Well, we can’t begin this relation with a lie can we? Ok, I will tell the truth. It was late, I was just getting off work, dead tired from the soul-sucking routine of my corporate life, heading to my car when, surprise, surprise, someone called out to me.

Yeah, you can probably guess what happened next. Enter the most cliché death imaginable: a hooded man, a knife, and me, the poor, exhausted man who didn’t even register what was happening until, oh look, there’s blood all over the place. Classic, right?

So yeah, that’s how I died…I can’t believe that the great me died like that. Funny right?

Then, poof, I’m suddenly in this dark, cramped, and very uncomfortable place. Something was poking me in the side, and I was way too tired to deal with it, so I just kicked it. Darkness swallowed me up again, and I figured - “Oh, cool, I’m probably in a hospital or something. Let me just rest for a bit.” - As you know, I couldn’t be more wrong about that.

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Big mistake.

Then next thing I knew, bam, blinding light, loud cheers all around and a general vibe of “Welcome to the world! We are glad that you are fine!.” - I wanted to yell at them - “Hey! An injured person is trying to get some rest here! Shut up!” - But of course, nothing came out. Just a pathetic little baby cry.

Yeah, I reincarnated as a fucking baby. At that time, I didn’t know that a long period of poop and cries awaited me.

When my eyes finally adjusted to the ridiculous amount of light, I saw these giant people surrounding me, one of whom was a stunning red-haired beauty holding me in her arms. Honestly, I could’ve lived with that... except there was this strange mix of happiness and sadness in her eyes, like she was holding onto hope but already grieving.

It took me a few days and months, because, you know, baby brain, strange language, sleep, to realize that I had been reincarnated into a strange world of magic and swords. A world from a dumb novel that I was reading during lunch breaks just to kill time.

A novel I didn't even like that much.

But wait, it gets worse. I wasn’t just any baby. Oh no, that would be too easy. I had reincarnated into the body of the character who was supposed to die at birth. That’s right. My twin brother, the actual main character, was the one who was meant to live, grow up, save the world, and have a heroic journey or whatever.

I shouldn’t have kicked that uncomfortable thing. Yeah…I was screwed.