“...When the time comes to leave the stage, my last performance will be remembered by everyone as a bright show…”
(from Rina’s interview with the Gramophone edition)
Rina didn’t know how many days she had spent in someone else’s house, the furnishings of which she had not had time to see. Stricken by a high fever, she lay exhausted in bed, having lost touch with reality and floating in an unhealthy doze. Rina had never been so ill before, even though any minor cold turned into a fever for her.
Nikolai didn’t leave her side all these sticky days: he sat next to her, putting a cool palm on her hot forehead, and whispered something in consolation. He gave her medicines by the hour and forced her to drink broth and water. Again, Nikolai saved her and encouraged her, completely forgetting about himself. Only once, to Rina’s alarmed question, he replied that his hand was healing and almost no longer bothered him.
A doctor she knew came twice: he listened to Rina’s lungs, injected medications and gave some instructions, which Nikolai listened to with the most serious look.
Sometimes Nikolai would sit with a laptop in a chair near the window and work. And then Rina, pretending to be dozing, secretly admired him. Often Nikolai, thinking that she was asleep, looked at her, and in his gaze at such moments there was not anxiety, but tenderness. But as soon as Rina moved, Nikolai immediately pretended that he was passionate about his work.
She didn’t ask what he was doing. But when he went out into the corridor to call someone, anxiety crept into Rina’s soul: what is happening, what awaits them in the future? But more than the vague prospects, she was afraid of parting with Nikolai. She was afraid to think about it, but she felt that their roads, as from a fork, would go in different directions.
Gradually, Rina began to recover. One evening the temperature finally subsided, but the heat was replaced by a strong chill, from which two thick blankets did not save. Seriously alarmed, Nikolai grabbed the phone. Rina wanted to calm him down, but instead of words, she just clacked her teeth. She thought it was funny, but Nikolai didn’t even smile. But he put the phone down, lay down next to Rina and hugged her.
She immediately felt hot, but not from the warmth of Nikolai’s skin, but from the proximity of his body and the scent of aftershave. Stunned by the sensations that surged over her, Rina froze, afraid even to break this burning happiness with a breath. But Nikolai, touching her hair with a weightless kiss, immediately ruined everything by blurting out an utter stupidity:
“Don't be afraid, I won’t touch you. I’ll just warm you up.”
Rina squirmed in his arms to look him in the eye and tell him what a fool he was if he denied the obvious. Doesn’t he himself notice that there is a spark between them so that every accidental touch seems to shock him? What is between them is the very ‘chemistry’ that, if they don’t let it spill out, will burn them out from the inside. And that Rina is afraid not that Nikolai will ‘touch’ her, but that he is too carried away by noble deeds and lofty goals.
Or maybe it’s not about lofty goals, but about the presence of someone to whom he confessed his love? The thought made Rina shiver again. And instead of telling Nikolai everything about ‘chemistry’, attraction and ‘electricity’, she asked directly:
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“What?” he didn’t understand and moved away a little.
“There, in the village, you told someone that you love too…”
“Ah,” Nikolai laughed. “It was my mother who called me.”
“Ah,” Rina answered in the same tone, feeling terribly dumb.
Nikolai hugged her tighter, but when she moved again, he whispered:
“Not today. Get well, little bird… Gain strength.”
She didn’t see, but she discerned a smile in his voice, and, burying her face in his chest, she fell asleep - this time calmed, peaceful and happy.
When she woke up, it was already the next day. Nikolai wasn’t around. Rina got up and went in search of him. The unfamiliar house was met with silence, and the corridor led to the kitchen. There Rina saw a note attached to the fridge with a magnet:
‘I need to leave. Don't worry, I'll be back soon.’
Rina smiled, because the phrase ‘don't worry’ breathed care, put the note in the pocket of her pajama pants and went to the bathroom. On the way she came across Nikolai’s room, and Rina couldn’t resist the temptation to look inside. She knew practically nothing about him: he still didn't tell her anything about himself.
However, the room’s furnishings also characterized him as a closed person: the narrow bed was neatly made, there were no clothes hanging on the chair, there was not even a phone charger on the bedside table. If Rina had not known that Nikolai had not left anywhere until today and spent the night in this bedroom, she would have decided that no one lived here, everything seemed so untouched.
The bathroom turned out to be much more ‘talkative’, but even here Rina’s things were much more than Nikolai’s things. The mirror shelf was occupied by unopened jars and tubes with care cosmetics, which Lev’s wife bought for Rina. There were bottles of half-used aftershave and foam next to it, and there was a small dressing case closed with a zipper. There were two bath towels hanging on the dryer. Rina touched the one Nikolai used with her palm. And then, unable to resist, unscrewed the cap of the lotion bottle and sniffed. Memories of how Nikolai had warmed her in his arms immediately came flooding back to her. And even though there was nothing between them, this night seemed to Rina the most sensual of all that she had.
She returned the bottle to its place, then stared at herself in the mirror, noting with joy that after the illness she didn’t look as terrible as she imagined. While the bath was being filled, Rina sorted through all the tubes and jars of cosmetics and was surprised at how Yana guessed her tastes. Maybe it's because they use the same creams?
After the bath, Rina changed into a new knitted suit, which turned out to be sewn on her, and dried her hair.
In this form, with her hair loose and falling to her waist, she went into the kitchen and stood in the doorway, admiring Nikolai.
“Hi!” She greeted him with a smile when he looked back. Instead of greeting her, Nikolai winked at her and continued to pull out some bundles, cans and trays of food from a voluminous rag bag. Rina approached and was surprised to find soup in cans, homemade cutlets, vegetable stew and fish with sauce in glass containers. There were pies in the packages. Did Yana really try again? Rina was about to make a joke, but, looking up at Nikolai, she stopped. He was obviously upset about something, didn’t look at her and was making a fuss obviously in order to avoid questions. Without asking if Rina wanted to eat, he put the cutlets in a frying pan, on another stew, lit the stove and put a plate of pies in the microwave. He did all this in silence, frowning and pursing his lips. Rina unwittingly caught his mood, carefully, as if afraid to break the silence, set the table and silently sat down on a chair.
They ate in the same silence. Rina praised the dishes only once. Nikolai looked at her for a while, nodded, and went back to eating. And only when Rina was putting the kettle on for them, and he was putting the plates in the dishwasher, he said:
“I need to talk to you. Seriously.”
“Is something wrong?” Rina asked, feeling a chill of anxiety creep into her soul.
“It happened,” Nikolai didn’t deny. Turning on the dishwasher, he returned his gaze to Rina and leaned his lower back against the countertop.
“What could have happened has happened. I was up to my ears in a sh… one bad thing. And it’s dangerous for you to be around me.”
“But we…” Rina began, but Nikolai stopped her with a gesture.
“Lev will arrive today or tomorrow. I already know what he’s going to say. But it's not about me. You need to find another safe place. And away from me.”
“But why?!” Rina shouted and stopped under his frowning gaze of darkened eyes. “Can you explain? We're in the same boat!”
“The boat is sinking rapidly, Rina, but you can still save yourself.”
“What have you done?” she asked in a whisper.
“Just trying to prevent trouble,” he spread his hands. “But I made a mistake, and I was spotted. That’s why we’d better part. Lev will find you another shelter, and then he will come up with something. And I… will try to get out somehow, which I doubt.”
Rina was going to scream that she was not going anywhere, because they both ‘got into trouble’. That she doesn't want to part with him, because it's too painful. But she asked something else:
“You don't like me at all?”
It turned out to be a pity, because her voice trembled, and tears welled up in her eyes. Nikolai’s face changed, and then he stepped up to Rina and hugged her.
“I like you. Even too much. That's why I'm afraid for you. Listen to me, please…”
She wriggled out of his arms, realizing that she was going to burst into tears, and hiding her gaze, said abruptly:
“I need to get some air.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Rina jumped out of the house and, without stopping, ran off the porch.
A plowed field stretched beyond the fence, and the forest was dark in the distance. The house turned out to be the only one here and its solitude reminded Rina of her house. To the heart-rending grief, memories of Stas with Blob, Liza and Elena were added, and tears rolled down in a hail. Rina headed across the field at first at a brisk pace, and then switched to running. The wind gently stroked her face, but couldn’t dry her endless tears. Rina ran to the forest and was already there, resting her hands on her knees and taking a breath, letting out some of the pain with a cry.
She was already returning at a leisurely pace, not so much reassured as devastated. There was another one in the yard next to Nikolai’s car, and Rina realized that Lev had arrived. And this meant that parting with Nikolai was close and inevitable.
She entered the house and heard voices coming from the kitchen.
“I asked you to be unnoticeable! What the fuck, Melnik?!” Lev rumbled.
Nikolai’s voice, unlike the guest’s, sounded surprisingly calm:
“Such, Jaguar. This story didn’t touch you personally, you weren't there, you didn’t see them. If these entities break out, and they will, if all this is not stopped, then the consequences will be terrible.”
“But at least you would have consulted me!” Lev didn’t calm down. “We would have come up with a reasonable solution together!”
Rina sat down on a mirrored bedside table in the hallway and hid. She wasn’t in the habit of eavesdropping, but the conversation could concern her as well. Nikolai didn’t say much, and she wanted to get a complete picture of what was happening.
“A reasonable and eco-friendly solution, Lev, is to hack the system, erase information or run a virus into the program. Rubik is a talented guy, everything should have worked out for him.”
“But it didn't work out! For this ‘talented fellow’ managed to leave traces even earlier! And now this ‘reasonable’ Rubik is unecologically gone, and you have to sort everything out! Do you think Merinov didn’t understand who tried to bring them down?”
“Yes, I understand everything, Lev! Well, to sort it out is to sort it out. Merinov would have gotten to me anyway, whether I would have gotten into the system or not.”
“That’s why I insisted that you leave before it was too late!” Lev rumbled.
“Rina is seriously ill!” Nikolai also objected in raised tones, but immediately lowered his tone and asked:
“Take her somewhere, Lev. Hide her securely so that no one can reach her. Let her start a new life and forget this story like a terrible dream. Will you do it?”
“I will,” Lev typed, and Rina, hearing her ‘verdict’, squeezed her eyes tightly to hold back tears. From an awkward movement, she touched the statuette standing on the shoe cabinet, but managed to catch it in time.
“And now let's talk about what you're still up to,” said Lev. Rina heard the lighter click, and soon cigarette smoke was coming from the kitchen.
“I mistakenly thought that the problem is only in those places that we have calculated. In fact, these points are trial ones, and a whole network of portals is being prepared for launch. Do you have a pen? Let me draw it. Rubik threw me a card, but the meaning is clear without it. Here, let’s say, is the center, from where the signal will go… They built it near the capital on a landfill and disguised it as a vegetable base.”
“Are there any settlements nearby?” Lev clarified.
“Not within a twenty-kilometers radius.”
“Go on.”
“The signal will come from the center. Then it will be distributed by transmitting antennas. The towers have long been built and disguised as conventional antennas. They are everywhere: in the north and south, west and east. The places where the towers are located are ‘points’. When you see the map, you will make sure that the ‘’dotted line’, that is, these dots, outlines the whole network. The amplifiers will increase the impact, and each ‘point’ will turn into a vast zone. The zones will merge, and here’s a whole network of invisible portals for you. And then do with them what you want. At least use their energy for different purposes, at least use it as high-speed trails bypassing all radars.”
“And what has already happened was the result of a trial launch.”
“Yes. I have combined these places into two zones. The first one includes a military town, a park, a village where Rina was hiding, and a small town a little further away. The second zone is the north. The impact has been weak so far, but this was enough to cause trouble. Imagine what will happen when everything is launched in full force.”
“I get it. Kolya, but there are also no fools sitting there! Surely they thought about the consequences and took measures!”
“I doubt it, Jaguar. Otherwise, Gennadiy Sergeevich would not have sounded the alarm. I think he was involved in this project. Sitsov wondered how Koshelev managed to catch on in the capital and avoid punishment for the failed tests. Yes, it’s just that Gennadiy Sergeevich convinced the management that he would help in the study of errors and would participate in new developments. That’s why he managed to cover my ass then: he made the right acquaintances. I convinced everyone that I was good for something. Maybe he vouched for me, promised to ‘keep an eye on’ me.”
“I was watching and pulled in again…” Lev grumbled.
“That's why, Jaguar, I doubt that all the risks have been calculated and measures have been taken. Gennadiy Sergeevich saw it, but could not openly protest. Firstly, it is useless. In the past, my father and Sitsov tried to stop the project, but they failed. Secondly, he understood that he could be… removed. That’s why I came up with a ‘multi-pass’. Handed the case over to me. He knew that I would ‘bite’. Koshelev knew about the trial run and hoped that while Sitsov, Rina and Vitaly controlled the zone, I would solve his ‘puzzle’. The real task, Lev, was not to calculate these points, because Gennadiy Sergeevich already knew about them, but to find an opportunity to stop the launch of the network. I solved the puzzle, but I failed the ‘mission’, so to speak.”
“This is because it is necessary to consult, Kolya, with older and more experienced friends,” Lev grumbled. “Life doesn't teach you anything! I started playing Spider-Man. It's one thing to climb the ‘devil’ wheel for the sake of saving a beautiful lady. Another thing is to fly with a pitchfork against a tank. Do you understand the difference?”
“Yes, I understand,” Nikolai replied with annoyance.
“Well, consider that the tank tracks are already over your head.”
The lighter clicked again, apparently Lev had already lit a second cigarette. Rina hugged herself with her arms, because a wave of cold swept down her back from what she heard. But she didn’t budge.
“By the way, this is a hot topic for Mikhail Svetakov’s wife Natasha. Antennas, the death of birds, fish,” Lev continued. “We need to give her a lift. The publication will already cause some kind of resonance.”
“I have a friend of a journalist who writes well, boldly, and has already collected material on this topic,” Nikolai became animated. In addition, he was left without a job due to Lebedev’s faults.
“What’s his name? You see, we'll arrange for Natasha and provide protection.”
“Yuriy Vasilev. Then I'll look for his contacts. Lev, I would like to provide protection for my assistant. She certainly screwed up. But it is unlikely to happen again. The girl is very intelligent and executive.”
“And also in the subject,” Lev laughed knowingly. “Good! I just need such an assistant in the office. My recently got married and is already going on maternity leave.”
“Thank you!”
“When is the launch of the network planned?”
“In two days.”
“Yeah… Forty-eight hours for everything.”
“Just take Rina away first…”
“You don't have to take me anywhere,” she protested, entering the kitchen.
Catching Nikolai’s wary gaze, Rina smiled at him defiantly and turned to the guest:
“Hello, Lev! I'm sorry, I accidentally overheard… um… specifically overheard your conversation. Nikolai said that we are in the same boat. And Gennadiy Sergeevich, God rest his soul, really connected us and gave a bold hint of a solution that Nikolai didn’t see. You can hack the center's computers. And if this plan fails, then you can send the center itself... to another parallel. Irrevocably. While a new one is being built, another obstacle may happen. For example, the release of resonant material that will stir up the public.”
“Is it possible?” Lev asked seriously, without a smile. Nikolai tried to intervene, but the guest stopped him with a gesture.
“I can,” Rina replied, looking into the eyes of Nikolai, not the guest. “Let it be… my farewell concert, though not for the public. I'll find the strength for him. Those who are in the topic will definitely appreciate the ‘performance’! When Rina is very angry, an earthquake can happen.”
Neither Lev nor Nikolai smiled in response to her smile. On the contrary, both remained serious. Nikolai’s face showed doubt, and he was the first to object:
“No.”
“Why? Don’t you believe in my abilities?”
“I believe. But it’s dangerous.’
“More dangerous than your attempts to hack the program?
“Rina, you do understand that even if everything succeeds, you will not see your former life?” Lev intervened.
“And I already don't have it. Even if Lebedev doesn’t come near me anymore, your, um,
friends’ won't let me live as usual.”
“We can try,” Lev cautiously remarked after a long pause. Nikolai stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest and said firmly:
“I don't agree.”
“It will be just... a concert!” Rina grinned and, copying him, also crossed her arms. “What are we losing? Above your head, as Lev said, the tank tracks are already hovering. I also have so-so prospects - to sit out in another village, feed chickens and piglets until they eventually find me. So why not say goodbye, so to speak, with a grandiose ‘show’? I promise, I will dedicate all the songs to you!”
Nikolai finally grinned, and sly laughter flashed in his eyes. Rina also smiled. And by the way Lev raised an eyebrow and grinned, she realized that the matter was solved.
That night, Rina could not sleep for a long time, but not because she was worried about what was coming, but because, on the contrary, she thought everything over carefully. She needed a new song, one that she would perform only once - woven from feelings and emotions. This time she did not need to draw strength from her performance, but on the contrary, to give all the necessary energy with the song.
Rina got out of bed and walked around the room. The moon shone brightly through the window, spilling light on the floorboards. Rina involuntarily stopped in a silvery ‘puddle’ and froze, looking at the sleeping garden. She remembered the days in the village, the morning fragrance of freshness, the afternoon - floral, and spicy, with a bitterness of smoke, evening. Can there be flavors in the song? Rina smiled at the moon that ‘winked’ at her and agreed: they can!
Let this part of the song, deceptively pastoral, into which she will weave the feelings for Nikolail that are emerging in the village, and become preparatory. In contrast to the introduction, the other part, woven from fear and betrayal, will be destructive. In this ‘verse’, Rina will weave the horror experienced in Lebedev’s captivity and the desperate loneliness experienced on the wrong side of the city. This part of the song will cause the desired effect. Unlike the case with the three businessmen, when she created a fake door leading not from the restaurant, but into the portal, this time Rina wanted to cause an earthquake to scare off the few employees of the base and give them the opportunity to escape. Then, with a powerful crescendo in the chorus, Rina was going to open the portal and bring down the center there. There was still the final part of the song to seal the portal tightly. And therein lay the difficulty. Rina couldn’t find the final chord. Something was missing, the melody went into the wrong key, Rina was angry, nervous and began to wander from corner to corner again. Suddenly she stopped, and then walked resolutely out of the room. What is she doing on this possibly last night? Composing a song! Angry, picks up notes and gets angry again! She doesn’t need to be angry, but to wake up Nikolai and finally tell him everything about the ‘chemistry’ that they feel for each other, but for some reason they are trying to drown out other important things. What things could be more important on last night? And it’s better not to say anything, because when everyone doesn’t even touch, but looks, hits with discharges, words are not needed.
Rina opened the door with the intention of entering the next room, and ran into Nikolai nose to nose.
“You... why aren't you sleeping?” she asked absurdly, immediately forgetting that she was going to tell him everything. She forgot, because Nikolai was wearing only sweatpants.
“And you?”
“And I… because to you.”
“Well, I'm coming to you,” he laughed, pulled her to him and kissed her. Not kiss, but bit into her lips, scooped her into a bear hug, forgetting about all tenderness, and except that he didn't growl.
He was gentle with her later - in bed. In whose room they ended up, Rina didn’t understand. Night turned into morning, and then into day. They fell asleep for a while, woke up, forgot themselves in each other’s arms again, took short breaks for food and returned to bed again. If there was such an opportunity, Rina would have spent eternity like this. But when the sky outside the window turned pink from the setting sun, Nikolai said with regret:
“It's time. Lev will be waiting for us on the spot in two hours.”