Yaawha twisted at the end of the long yew table floating in the void. At the centre was Thassalors, pale-faced with a mane of inky hair, his black eyes sparkling with butterflies. Then, at the other end was Nergul with his large beard, stout hat and deep skin tone that, between him and Zoroth, were probably the least corpse-like ones here. Between those three sat an assortment of death gods and monotheistic lords, all in their own thrones, or, in the case of Yaawha, just- uh- existing.

Right now, the table was placed lengthways, facing a small disturbance in the fabric of the pocket realm. All the gods waiting.

It wasn’t something Yaawha experienced most of the time, with one of their arch angels often taking their place. But today, Yaawha wanted in on it, the council of the afterlife.

“Who do you think the reapers will have brought us today?” Zoroth asked, stroking his beard as he tucked his wings behind him.

“I’ve heard Ƿó has found a collection of souls who have died in a clash with the dwarfs recently.” Yaawha intoned, “The north men always make for great fun.”

Thassalor groaned, “I find them all too petulant for my liking. That and they have died violent deaths… That was always the domain of Kerbrae.”

Yaawha’s attention shifted in what could be described as a quizzical manner, “Where is she?”

“I think she’s taking time as a reaper,” Thassalor sighed, “I pity the poor souls who have to deal with her…”

“Oh? Is she bringing a few to the afterlife now then?”

“I think so… The gong will sound soon, and we will see. Bring them.”

A dull, metallic ring echoed from the rift. Out of it walked a gangly, sharp-faced, vulture-like woman with a cruel smile.

“Thassalor!” The woman croaked.

“Kerbrae.” He answered coldly.

“I have gathered seven souls from around an arena of death! All from a bloody battle upon its stony crown. Yet two did fall from it in that struggle, a fate they will retell with their mauled comrades.”

Thassalor sighed, “Trying to imitate your sisters again? I know Yaawha may appreciate your verses, but we have a lot of souls to process."

Kerbrae’s smile slowly fell into a scowl, “I hope you may yet appreciate it, but alas,” She groaned through gritted needle-like teeth, “That is still some time away. The souls, however, will be presented. Come hither bloodied souls!”

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Out of the tear came four souls, all in the form of their corpses. Some were maimed by blades and blunt attacks, some coated with vomit, and two were “smashed” so badly they were barely recognisable. Clearly, the two who had fallen.

“Recount souls, what are your names and what gods do you believe in?”

A scared man, bleeding and covered in vomit walked forwards, “What the hell is this!? Are ye all just-“

“Silence!” Yaawha rumbled, “You are all dead so heed us, for we decide your fate!”

The man swallowed, “W-We’re all from Crajka and worship the lord! The only god!”

All the other gods turned to Yaawha.

“Well then,” they intoned, “If you are mine then, I wish to know how you died.”

“Y-Y-“

“Yes, yes I am “him”! I do not get why your priests had to depict me like that! I chose this form for a reason, and I don’t like being depicted as an old man. It isn’t as powerful… Now get on with it!”

The man swallowed, stepping back, “I-I- was just trying to enforce my terf, ye know! Then I came across these two fuckers! T-they insulted me and I fought back with my buddies here. But they were too fast and had magic! It could have only been that! They beat us and smashed us and slashed at us! We were just doing business.”

“And the vomit?”

“I- I dunno! I felt like I was drunk, drunker than I’d ever been! Then I got slashed and bled out of the floor! Choking on my own fucking vomit!”

“And the rest of you?” Yaawha asked.

“Crushed.”

“Fell.”

“Hit in the head.”

“Blood loss.”

“Hit too hard.”

“Blood loss I think…”

“Oh!” A snap came from the air around Yaawha, “How did you two fall?”

“Uh- I got thrown onto the fence around the edge, and when I was about to get up uh-“

“I hit into him and we both went down…”

The two shivered, unpleasant noises coming from their mauled bodies.

“Oh, excellent! I will need to see this now!” Yaawha chuckled, projecting his power out into the ether. Trying to find that strand and- Aha!

In a fraction of a second, it had been processed, with the entire event becoming oh-so clear. A memory that they now shared with the other gods as all their eyes squinted in joy on their rotating wheels.

“Oh, I think I have made a decision on you lot… Your death was very fun to watch and I’m sure Calysniacus will be overjoyed to see it if he hasn’t already.”

“Wait, what do ye mean by-“

“I mean exactly what I say, human. I have seen what you and your gang have done. I don’t think you exactly deserve a gentle afterlife-“

“Wait-“ The scared man fell to the ground, bowing with his head against the ground, “I beg of you! Don’t send me to hell, please-“

“Oh no, I think hell is too much for a measly gang leader like you,” Yaawha chuckled, “You instead have ten years in my purgatory to think upon your sins. You will not go mad, I will make sure of that, but if you truly recant your sins by then, I will let you ascend.”

“R-really!?”

“Really. But I will not be the one judging you then. That will be for the angels. Your comrades will only get five years, however. Does everyone else here agree?”

All the other gods nodded.

“Excellent. Now, I hope you all will be cleansed of your terrible urges…”

And with that, they vanished. No noise, sound, or flash. Nothing. Yaawha chuckling still as they watched them all go.

“Ahh, It’s always good to enact godly justice sometimes, don’t you all agree?” They asked, turning their focus to the other gods.