Today started rather ordinary with broken alarm clock, little bugger did not want to stop so I smashed it. Morning routine was as always. I even scared some high school girls, as soon they seen me they run away screaming “Kyaaaa… Kyaa…” I already know that I am intimidating with my 2,5 meter height and all those muscles, once when I was buying grocery two robbers in ski masks barge in, it ended in few seconds simply seeing me they make 180 turn and make mad dash out. That day in evening news I found out that they found closest police station and give themselves up. I was 18 years old at the time. Now I’m 40 and still single.

Anyway after bringing garbage out. I went to buy new clock. That is when things started to become weird. First a truck that was left on slope got loose and slammed into me, good thing driver was on coffee brake so no one got hurt. It took half hour to sort things out even police come. Next was some idiot trying to stab me with knife of course I gave him to police. Only geting few steps away from that place and billboard dropped on me. Police officers rushed to help me but I only shrugged at that and walked away. Afterwards was stray bullet, horse stampede, some space junk falling, gas explosion, falling building, and more I think there were even aliens but at that time I was not really paying attention anymore.

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Finally after 8 h I was able to buy new clock and then I tripped on banana peal and died.