While I was expecting the healer's hut to be somewhere on the edge based on clichés in movies and books, it was in fact near the middle of the village, which did make more sense if you stopped to think about it.

Its roof was covered in a thick layer of grass or maybe moss. Flowers surrounded the building, and it was slightly raised from the ground, requiring a few steps to reach it. Even the wall was in tone with a greenish color that I'm sure had a name, giving it all a very picturesque look.

"That's one beautiful hut" I remarked.

"It is rather unique, I noticed it in my month here, but the ursine are not big on curiosity, so I couldn't just explore buildings when I wanted." Alira said.

“What did you do for a whole month? I would have expected you to be an honorary member of the tribe by now.”

She smiled yet continued "Mostly we traversed the forest and the surroundings hoping to find you, I was expecting the portal to bring you injured maybe incapacitated, as you did mention you would be arriving near me." she said while climbing the stairs.

"Other than that, I sparred with some ursine warriors, learned a few tricks, taught a few back, they aren’t big on making friends it’s all business, you know I never seen one laugh, I don’t think they even can" she said in a very serious tone.

“Challenge accepted” I said with a smile.

She rolled her eyes, “If they laugh it will be just to shut you up"

I missed her dry humor, "Wait… you had Isla, where is she by the way?" I had totally forgotten about her, but I did have a lot on my mind these last two days.

"She left soon after, determined to get the information on the orcs to her people"

I looked at her confused, "But we're in the middle of nowhere, where exactly did she go?"

"The ursine gave her some maps to the nearest harbor, it's pretty isolated and apparently two weeks away, so she chose to risk it and go for it" she answered as we stepped into the hut.

The insides on the other hand were as you would expect, with dozens upon dozens of little jars scattered on shelves everywhere. With the healing magic existing, I was not expecting the whole herbalist healer thing.

"Can I help you?" a new voice appeared from a room to our left.

"Maybe" I said with trepidation evident in my voice, well maybe evident to Alira.

The healer was perhaps a female, it might sound racist, but I had a hard time distinguishing ursine males from females, they were basically the same size with voices too similar for me to distinguish. Although Alira informed me back when we met them the first time that to a trained ear like hers, it was a night and day difference.

She, that's what I was going with for now, approached me, "You will have to be more specific than that, human"

"I suffered an affliction you could say that damaged my access to my class and abilities, maybe you could check me and give me some insight because we have nothing" I said.

She glanced at me as if she were already assessing me, then finally said, "Come," and headed back to the room she had been in before we arrived.

Following her, I entered the room and took in the surroundings: dim lighting, clean linens, and an air of quiet efficiency. She gestured to one of the beds. Without hesitation, I lay down as instructed, anticipating whatever came next.

She soon placed her hand gently over me, her touch surprisingly warm and comforting. I half-expected a yellow light to emanate from her palm, like the healing magic described in old tales. I realized I needed to stop letting preconceived notions cloud my expectations of reality. Her fingers pressed lightly, and I could feel a subtle energy, almost like a soft hum, flowing through me. After a few minutes, she emerged from her concentration, her eyes meeting mine with a calm assurance.

"I have never before seen the kind of affliction that plagues you, though 'flaw' might be a better word for it," she said thoughtfully.

"Can you be more specific?" Alira interrupted, her impatience evident.

"There is nothing for me to heal, and even if there were, I don't think I could heal you," she replied, pausing as if searching for the perfect words. "I'm sure it's different for other healers, but for me, healing is like a piece of a painting is missing. I have to match not only the colors but also the shape and how it fits all together. You, on the other hand, every time I concentrate, I see the painting moving."

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She stopped again, deep in thought, and I didn't dare interrupt her. The metaphor she used was striking. I mean, I didn't fully understand it, but it did sound terrible for my chances.

"It's as if your very essence is in constant flux," she continued, her voice tinged with frustration. "It's not just a matter of healing a wound or correcting an imbalance. It's like trying to stabilize something that refuses to be still."

I listened in silence, feeling a growing sense of unease. Her explanation, while poetic, painted a grim picture of my prospects.

"On the outside, you are the same, but the insides are changing," she said, her tone calm yet unsettling.

"By 'insides,' I hope you mean metaphorically," I interrupted, trying to mask my growing concern with a touch of humor.

Unperturbed by my interjection, she continued, "You are still changing, so I would suspect that is why you can't access the essence of the gods."

"Is there anything that I can do to 'find myself'?" I asked, even though it seemed the chances were slim.

"I do not know," she admitted, her gaze unwavering. "Still, the good news is that the changes are winding down. By tonight, whatever changes you were going through will have stabilized."

This was the first piece of good news I'd heard, and it must have been visible on my face because Alira grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Told you it's going to be all right," she said, her eyes sparkling with relief.

Turning to the healer, Alira expressed our gratitude. "Thank you, you've helped a lot."

"I hope you can find yourself, as you put it, and thank you for helping us," the healer replied, her voice filled with genuine warmth. With that, we made our way outside.

The fresh air felt like a gentle embrace after the tense atmosphere inside. I looked at Alira, appreciating her unwavering support. "You should go eat something," I suggested, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "I need to think or meditate or whatever might help."

She nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I'll be nearby if you need me."

As she walked away, I found a quiet spot under a large tree and sat down. The forest around me was alive with the sounds of birds and rustling leaves, a stark contrast to the turmoil within. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying to center myself.

Still my face was etched with lines of worry and guilt. I clenched my fists, as if anger would solve anything.

The quest had given me a purpose, without it what was I suppose to do?

There were no easy answers, was I a coward to stay here while the world took a few more steps towards ruin? Or was I foolhardy to throw myself into the quest again with almost no chance of succeeding?

Somehow it seemed both options were wrong, yet no other option presented itself.

I even tried meditating, like I did when I was stuck in limbo, but no matter how much I tried to reach nirvana, nothing seemed to happen. I focused on my breathing, cleared my mind, and visualized the flow of energy, but it was as if a wall stood between me and the tranquility I sought. My subsequent attempts at casting spells only confirmed my frustration. Each spell produces no result, not even a fizzle. It was as if the essence of my magic had slipped through my fingers, leaving me helpless and adrift.

"What am I without my powers?" I muttered to myself, staring into the fading fire. It was so easy to be brave when you had basically superpowers, but now I was trying to convince myself that staying here was the logical choice, that I needed time to recover to maybe regain some of it back.

A soft rustle broke my reverie, and I looked up to see Alira approaching. She knelt beside me, her eyes filled with concern.

"You blame yourself too much," she said quietly, placing a hand on my arm.

I shook my head, my voice choked with emotion. "I should have done things differently. I should have seen it coming. Now, without my magic, I’m useless. I’ve failed the quest and worse of all I’ve failed you."

Alira's grip on his arm tightened. "You haven’t failed. The quest isn’t over. You still have me, and I still believe in you."

Her words were comforting, yet it did little to relieve my doubts, "All I want is to stay in this village and never leave. And saying that out loud is even more depressing than thinking about it."

Her eyes softened, and she moved closer, her voice gentle yet firm. "I see the man you are, not just the powers you had. Magic or not, you have always been brave and kind. You have brought us this far with your heart and your wisdom."

I wanted to interject, but she stopped me. "Yes, without your powers we would have been dead more than once, but that's because we relied on them too much. From now on, we will be more careful and stay away from trouble. We can't keep depending on your abilities to save us every time. It's time we learn to navigate this world with caution and wisdom, rather than brute force. We'll need to think ahead, plan meticulously, and avoid unnecessary risks. Together, we'll adapt and survive, even without your magic to protect us at every turn."

She cupped my face in her hands, her gaze unwavering. "And if we fail, we will do so together. You are not alone in this. I am with you, every step of the way."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the depth of her faith in me. It felt real, it is easy to have faith in someone powerful, less so in someone at his lowest. A new feeling of resolve was slowly building within me. So it looked a little bleak but times were always changing, and even if I stayed here the end would come even for this lost village.

"Thank you, Alira," I said, my voice steadying. "I don't know what I would do without you."

She smiled, her eyes shining with warmth. "You’d do the same for me. Now, let’s get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day, and we have a quest to finish."

As we settled down for the night, I felt a sense of peace I hadn't felt in months. This was the first courageous thing I ever did, sure before I had done some stupid things that might be called courageous but in the back of my mind I knew my powers would probably save the day.

I guess I was proud of myself. For the first time, I felt a sense of accomplishment that didn't rely on my powers. It was a different kind of pride, one that came from knowing I could contribute in other ways, that I could maybe be resourceful and clever without always falling back on my abilities.

Ohhh... who was I fooling? I would give anything to have my powers back. But as the saying goes It is what it is.